Need advice about my ex-gf | Page 1 | Les/Bi/Gay Paradise | Guild Forums

Shadow-kissed Shell

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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 8:10 pm

Hi, I'm Shelly. I know this is really long, but please read it. Please.
Ok so I really need some advice. I broke up with my girlfrend about a month ago. She wants to get back together. I don't know what to do! cry

We met when she was dating my friend. She was a really close frend of mine when they broke up. I helped her get over it. I started crushing on her really hard, but I thought she was straight. So I didn't tell her about how I felt. About 2 months later she started dating a guy named Spencer. She said they were planning to get married after high school. I tried to get over her because I thought that she would never leave Spencer. 3 or so weeks into them dating, she started dating another guy named Alex. She and Alex broke up 3-4 weeks later. I was shocked that she had done that.
We were talking a few days later about me being bisexual. She said she thought it would be funny for us to act like we were dating, just to see what people would think. I agreed to it. That weekend we were at the mall. I ended up asking her if she really liked me. She said she did. I ask her if we were really dating then, or were we just acting like it. She said she wanted to date me for real. I asked her what she would do about Spencer (she was still dating him). She asked me if I would be ok with her dating both of us, I said I wasn't sure. I really wanted the chance to be with her, so I finally said I was ok with it. I told her I wouldn't kiss her untill she told Spencer about us. She would always tried to push me into kissing her; I never did. Spencer still doesn't know that we dated.
We dated for 3 months when I broke up with her. I still love her, but I don't feel right dating her when she's dating him. She always talks about him, even with me, and she says she'll never leave him. I don't know what to do. I really, truly love this girl, but she's already taken. She's wants to get back together, but I don't think it's the right thing to do. She says she'll never tell Spencer, but I think she needs to. She says she loves me and wants me back.
I know I should leave her and never try again, but she's the first girl I can truly say I fell in love with. I don't know what to do and it hurts me. Please help me cry

Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:14 pm

Communication is key. If she truly loved you, she would compromise and actually do something about it all.

And I sort of know how you feel. But it's best, if the situation doesn't progress into a better stage, to just tell her it's best to be friends than lovers. It's unfair both for Spencer(not knowing) and you(knowing but not entirely being loved by her).

Hope this helps. Good luck.

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Shadow-kissed Shell

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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:19 pm

XxMusic Is My TalentxX: Thank you.
It does help. I just wish she would try to do something. It's like she doesn't care that much. I miss being with her so much, but I know it's for the best. cry

Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:56 am

Shadow-kissed Shell

XxMusic Is My TalentxX: Thank you.
It does help. I just wish she would try to do something. It's like she doesn't care that much. I miss being with her so much, but I know it's for the best. cry

Did you try talking to her about trying to do something other than what you've explained?

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Shadow-kissed Shell

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Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 1:48 pm

XxMusic Is My TalentxX

Shadow-kissed Shell

XxMusic Is My TalentxX: Thank you.
It does help. I just wish she would try to do something. It's like she doesn't care that much. I miss being with her so much, but I know it's for the best. cry

Did you try talking to her about trying to do something other than what you've explained?

I've asked her to talk to Spencer about it, or even tell him that she wants to date a girl and still date him. She says she will never tell him.
I asked her if she would ever leave him. She told me she's tried, but she always goes back to him in the end.
I told her that it bothers me that she was dating both of us, and asked her if she thought there was anything we could do about it. She gave me a letter. In it she wrote 'if it bothers you we can brake up, but I don't want that. I love you.'.
I've tried so many things, but she never did anything.

Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:59 pm

Shadow-kissed Shell

XxMusic Is My TalentxX

Shadow-kissed Shell

XxMusic Is My TalentxX: Thank you.
It does help. I just wish she would try to do something. It's like she doesn't care that much. I miss being with her so much, but I know it's for the best. cry

Did you try talking to her about trying to do something other than what you've explained?

I've asked her to talk to Spencer about it, or even tell him that she wants to date a girl and still date him. She says she will never tell him.
I asked her if she would ever leave him. She told me she's tried, but she always goes back to him in the end.
I told her that it bothers me that she was dating both of us, and asked her if she thought there was anything we could do about it. She gave me a letter. In it she wrote 'if it bothers you we can brake up, but I don't want that. I love you.'.
I've tried so many things, but she never did anything.

):

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The Lovely Naru

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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 11:43 pm

Honestly.... I dont think you should get back with her. Your what? 16? If she doesn't want to admit it, she technically cheating on Spencer. Would you want to date someone who wont tell you about 'secret' relationships? She told you she wouldn't tell Spencer you guys were/are together. Thats kinda a low blow to you. YOu care for her just as much. If she did too she should be happy to tell him you guys are together. However, does he know they are in an open relationship or did your friend just decide she was. Dating two people at once sounds pretty sketch to me.

I understand you care for her and love her, but i think its better for you to love from a far then up close. Starting a relationship with her may cause your feelings to turn into something else more negative. Also, she told you she would never leave spencer so... your relationship with her is not as committed as they are. I think your feelings deserve more then just a fling.

She seems to not like to tell the truth and be honest, and you cant have a strong relationship without them. Without those, a relationship is kinda hallow and meaningless, you don't know whats she not telling you.

Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 10:25 am

She wants the best of both worlds. She wants to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. If she truly loved you, then she would just want to be with you. Tell her if she really wants to be with you, she has to end things with Spencer.

Word to the wise though... if she cheated on Spencer with you... she may just lie again.

Miss.Psyche

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