Riley remembered everything.

Every memory was carefully locked away, stored in it's little compartments, waiting to be accessed at a moment's notice. She could remember the first time she stood up and walked, just as easily as she could remember the homework that was due the next day. There was no fading or deterioriating to her older memories. They were as easy to access as the memories of every other Illithid connected to her hive.

She remembered everything - except one, single memory.

Her birthday.

Riley never knew the exact date of her birthday. This was because the only memory that had been stolen from her, was the very day of her birth. She knew the details of what had happened that day - but she had listened to the re-telling of said details with a cold, detached sense of surrealism. It wasn't her. She remembered nothing of emerging from the pumpkin. She had no recollection of her instinctual reaction to having no host body prepared.

She could not remember her mother.

From what she had been told, the female of her parental lineage had been a stern mistress. She never wasted a moment to frivolity, but she always found reason for any action she took. If she rested, she rested with purpose. And in a rare moment of weakness, her father had admitted to Riley that he had loved her mother for that. She was not cruel - simply strong-willed, and persistant. She always seemed to know what had to be done, and acted on that need, regardless of consequences.

Her mother had understood what sacrifices had needed to be made on the day Riley was born. She understood, and acted on them. Riley's father said she had died with dignity. But she had still died.

From a very young age, Riley had shied away from accessing any information on reproduction. She didn't want a memory of someone else being born, because it would make the stories of her own birth far too real. It was the only thing she wanted nothing to do with.

She denied the knowledge available to her.

Sex-Ed class had been a bit of a blessing. While she still felt forcefully disinterested in the topic, she knew that Professor Cricket would be teaching the subject from the vantage point of a general citizen of Halloween. None of the specifics of Illithid reproduction and host bodies would be dealt with. Hence, it seemed safe. And it was, for the most part. Riley left the class feeling just a little more confident in the subject, without touching on the tender nerve of her own birth.

Hours of research spent in books and on the interweb had a different nerve aching, however. Her behavior in the class had been out of line, considering the fact she was quickly learning. Scarelings were not an infection at all - and it was entirely possible she had insulted Astra in her desperate attempt to stay away from her and her.. new foundling. She had embarrassed herself, and possibly alienated a friend, all on the basis of a lack of knowledge. All because she was scared.

Her anger overrode her fear.

And so, there she was, in front of what she was pretty sure was 'The Pumpkin Patch'. The one place in this entire world she had promised herself she would never set foot on. She had found the location through the interweb, and while the information there could hardly be called reliable, she trusted that she was in the right place. She had to. She was on a mission.

A mission that was quickly failing.

As soon as the vast sea of orange had presented itself, Riley had frozen in her tracks.

The mindflayer had been standing on the edge of The Pumpkin Patch for over thirty minutes, just staring. Her back had gone rigid at some point, and she ignored the strain of keeping it taut. She knew, from her research, that she had nothing to fear. One needed a partner, while at The Pumpkin Patch, to reproduce. One needed to do much more than just stand there. There was a process - a conscious choice that both partners had to make.

It was not something accidental. It was not something spontaneous. It was not something she should be scared of.

And yet, now armored with all of this newfound knowledge on reproduction, Riley's first attempt to face her fear and simply stand in The Pumpkin Patch failed miserably. She couldn't step a single foot inside, despite being fully aware that standing in the Patch would do absolutely nothing. It was an absurd, and ridiculous fear. She knew better. So why wouldn't her body move, when she commanded it to?

Riley remembered everything with perfect clarity. She could access every single memory, except one.

Without realizing what it was, she could hear the screams. Her eyes must have been playing tricks on her, because she could have sworn the pumpkins had suddenly moved closer. They were closing in on her, with slow, subtle movements. She heard the screaming of a woman in her mind. There was no dignity in that scream.

And there would be no victory for her, today. She turned tail and ran back to school as fast as she could.

Oh, well.