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 Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:51 am
 
Adonai was feeling better about himself than he had in ages. Since he'd met up with his daughter, at any rate. Terreis had an awful immasculating effect which, try as he might to brush it away, dug at his core. He wondered often how Derecho managed to put up with it, and decided that the other wolf was made of stronger stuff than he was. Adonai's ego was fragile.
It was also easily stroked by the affection of certain young and nubile ladies. Recently he'd started spending more and more time with Tiyana, sneaking off like a teenager in love to meet with her. Not that all the secrecy was strictly necessary. But he was starting to like her -- really like her, not just the way she made him feel, although that was a huge part of it -- and he didn't want that taken away from him. He liked having something special...something secret...that he could call his own.
Maybe he'd keep her around for awhile. It hadn't been his intent when he'd first approached her, but now that they knew each other a bit better he started to think maybe she could fulfill a longtime need in his life. Adonai had been with an awful lot of females. He didn't consider himself the "love 'em and leave 'em" type. It wasn't about that, for him. He genuinely made an effort to treat every one properly, the way they deserved. He just knew better than to assume anything ever lasted forever, especially when he knew that most things did quite the opposite. So he let relationships run their course, and generally ended on good terms.
This one's course...seemed like it had the potential to be a bit longer than some. And, with this in mind, he headed out to their usual meeting spot, thinking perhaps he might casually gauge her interest on the topic.
~~~
At first, Tiyana couldn’t figure out why she stuck around quite so loyally.
Well, maybe that wasn’t quite so true. She was beginning to really like Adonai, and not in a ‘one night’ sort of way; she hardly liked many males for quite so long, not without growing bored or having that original spark of interest run itself out. But he was always so very charming, and so very interesting, that she could hardly help herself; one doesn’t encounter such a nice sort of male very often, and she didn’t want to quit him just yet. She could leave anytime she pleased, or so she reasoned, if she began to feel pinned down or rounded in - she didn’t have to join his pack, and he seemed to enjoy sneaking away that she wondered if it would ruin the fun if she did ever think of settling down…
Not that she would. Perched upon her rock, the same one Adonai had espied her on that very first day, Tiyana flicked back her ears and allowed herself a moment of worry. All her life she’d been running from anyone who tried to keep her in one place too long, figuring herself to be too wild a spirit for that sort of life. Another part warned her that once the novelty had worn off, maybe she wouldn’t be quite so delicately treated; new things were to be polished and adored, but the old tended to wear off toward the back of one’s mind. She didn’t want to think of Adonai giving her the cold shoulder, tired of treating her as though she was the center of his world -
But there just wasn’t the time for dredging up such terrible thoughts, not when she knew he’d be arriving at any moment. And oh, she looked a bit of a mess! She had a moment to preen, and she would take it for what it was worth, smoothing down whatever stray furs she had and picking the bits of bracken away. She wanted to look just right for him, her heart a-flutter and her paws shifting with excitement.
She always enjoyed his visits so much…
~~~
Adonai paused on his path, sniffing around in the mostly-dead winter shrubbery for some sort of offering. Flowers, maybe. Mistletoe, or holly, or a pretty evergreen branch. Something pretty, anyway, that she could tuck behind an ear and feel special about.
One of the best parts about Tiyana was her limitless capacity for flirtation. His tendency to be over-the-top in his courtship had earned him the judgment of being immature by many a female, which he didn't think was quite fair. It wasn't like he was settling down to be a father (well...that had happened anyway, but that wasn't his intent). A man could enjoy a little playfulness, a little whimsy. All this obsession with responsibility could wear you down in a hurry.
Still, one thing that hadn't quite gotten into his mind yet was that family -- as much as you might try to forget about them -- didn't disappear when you wanted it to. He didn't realize it, but someone had been following his trail: a certain dappled someone with pretensions of diplomacy. Balios had caught his grandfather wandering off plenty of times, and he couldn't hold back his curiosity any longer. So, taking a page out of Anatto's book, he'd trailed the white male out, following his tracks...and, what was this?
"...Well, hello there," Balios said, frankly shocked. He hadn't known quite what he'd expected from his grandfather...but this wasn't it.
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Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:53 am
One more good lick and… there. She was a vision of perfection, surely, now that her black fur glimmered in the weak winter sun; her reds were redder, her whites whiter, her eyes gently hooded as she made herself a presentation for her suitor. Adonai reminded her what it was like to want to please someone, purely because he could enjoy her posing without calling her a silly little girl. He didn’t mind that she shamelessly flaunted herself, and never once thought it was inappropriate or too flambouyant - he certainly enjoyed doing the same, anyway, so together they made quite the pretty couple, she thought. If anyone were to see them together they’d see two wolves perfectly coupled, deep into the theatrics and the poetic murmurings -
Which reminded her that he was late. She wanted to talk with him, to see if he had anything new or interesting to say, some new thing that he thought would interest her - and, invariably, it would. He was a bit late, not by much, but the sun was at a bit of a tilt in comparison to their usual meeting time, and Tiyana was beginning to grow irritated. He’d better not forgotten about her! Or… he better not have gotten in trouble with anyone in his pack… whichever it was.
When she finally heard a voice, she automatically assumed it was her Adonai, finally come to entertain his dear damsel. “Adonai?” she called out, a twinge of discontent in her voice. He was late, after all. “Adonai, is that you? I was expecting you much earlier, you know.”
Still, she squinted. She couldn’t see him quite clearly yet, not while trying to remain regal, but something seemed a bit off.
~~~
Balios raised his brows. He was young, and admittedly naive, but he had the sudden embarrassed feeling that he was trespassing into something he shouldn't be. Still, he was intrigued. His grandfather kept so much private...his past...his hobbies...and here was a little bit of himself that Balios had stumbled upon.
Also, and much more importantly, she was very pretty. He wandered out into the open and stared at her a little dumbfounded as to what to say next. "No....n-not Adonai," he said, and tilted his head. "Are you a....friend...of his? My name is Balios." His tail wagged. "I'm one of his grandsons."
~~~
"...Oh?"
This most certainly wasn't Adonai. Not by a long shot! Though perhaps he looked a bit like - his grandfather. Tiyana had never really wondered about Adonai's age, and had remained quite oblivious to it, but still - that was a bit of a shocker, nevermind that this Balios was probably around her age. "My my, I wasn't aware Adonai had family," she crooned, recognizing this as an opportunity to do a bit of flaunting. "And such a cutie you are, too! Say, why are you here? I was expecting your grandfather, you should know. Little bit of a sneak?"
She winked, speaking lightly and being quite friendly indeed. Adonai wasn't around, anyways, so who was she hurting?
~~~
Balios seated himself, head still tilted. "Well, I sure wasn't expecting you," he said, his diction slipping a little. He had been painfully polite since his puphood, and tended to speak in a lofty way that came off as a bit pompous at times. But sometimes, when he was caught off-guard, it slipped, and that was always the first sign that he was truly dumbfounded.
Also, she'd called him a cutie. In a way that he wasn't accustomed to. Something in her tone suggested that she hadn't meant he was cute like a puppy. He looked her over. She didn't look much older than he was, he thought. That was weird. What was grandpa Adonai meeting up with a pretty young female about? Was she another of his estranged daughters from another mother? No...that didn't seem right. Not with the way she was talking.
"I...don't think I caught your name?" He said, climbing back into his more formal timbre. "I'm sorry if you've been waiting long. Perhaps there's something I can help you with instead?" Poor, naive Balios.
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Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:54 am
“I bet you weren’t. Surprise!” Tiyana giggled a bit, enjoying the way this new young fellow looked her over; she was the center of someone else’s attention, for now anyway, and why spoil that? He might not have looked much like Adonai, and certainly wasn’t quite as smooth with his words, but that simply opened doors to teaching him a little something. He was a good-looking little fellow, and he had arrived just in time. “My name is Tiyana, and…”
And could he help? Oh, yes, in many ways! “And I was just waiting for your grandfather, who I was to exchange a few words with. But I can’t quite tell where he is, or how long he’ll be gone… so perhaps we could talk, instead, Balios?” She made an effort of speaking his name as considerately as possible. “I would understand if you’re on other business. You must be an important fellow.”
Tiyana had never given Adonai’s family life before, but at least now she could figure he had, at one point, made puppies… perhaps his pack held more family members that he had so cleverly forgotten to mention.
Not that she had ever asked, but that was beyond the point. Charmingly, Tiyana smiled.
~~~
Balios puffed up, self-importantly. Why, yes. He was very important. How good of her to recognize that. "What sort of words?" He asked, finding it very difficult to disguise his enthusiasm. Balios was never used to being taken seriously. Maybe there was a good reason for that.
Adonai, still wandering in the woods, finally found what he was looking for: a purple snow crocus, peeking up out of the snow. He'd hoped for a white one, to go better with her coat, but he'd have to make due. He was running terribly late. Snatching it up carefully in his teeth, he head out at a lope for their meeting place.
~~~
Tiyana liked having the ability to make males stand taller, chests out like little birds as they chirped away for her contentment. "Oh, a mix of words. Sweet ones and poetic ones, silly ones and ones that make up interesting stories. Really, whatever we can come up with. There is something magical about sharing a good conversation, don't you think?" she asked, curling her tail and looking very whistful indeed. "But for now, maybe I could ask you to tell me more about yourself? Perhaps about your family? And all those interesting little things you do, too, of course."
This could be her chance to be nosy, since she really didn't feel like asking Adonai himself about the intricacies of his more personal life. That, and she wanted to know if perhaps Balios could be as interesting as Adonai - and if he was, just how willing he'd be to play.
~~~
Balios grinned. He liked talking about his family, as it was something he was rather proud of. "There's lots of us, in my pack. We're like a big family actually, even the ones that aren't related. But there's me and my four brothers, and then I've got three cousins...and a bunch of aunts and uncles and my grandparents and parents, obviously." His brow furrowed, the v-marking over his eyes twisting over his eyes. "Adonai didn't tell you all that?"
Adonai's ears caught the sound of conversation. That was odd. He recognized the voices, too. Balios? What the hell was Balios doing here? He couldn't quite make out the words, but his grandson's tone was distinguishable, and he sped up a little.
He caught the last sentence and skidded to a halt, lingering in the bush. Didn't tell her what?
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Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:56 am
"Well, isn't that exciting! No, I've never heard word of any of this from Adonai - not that it ever came up in conversation, of course."
So Adonai had a large family, then? There seemed to be many related to him, which was an interesting thought, if not one she somewhat grumbled inwardly at. She never liked large gatherings, and had left her own little family group for just that reason... but for Balios, she'd pretend a little. "My own family was so very little, and quite fragmented," she murmured sadly, heaving a whistful sort of sigh. "I never knew my own father. It must be very exciting to always have those you care about so close by."
Liiieeees. But still, she made quite the show of wilting; it was true that she had never met her father, and that was on its own one of the reasons she was so very much herself. Anyone who said they loved you was probably going to leave later in your life, no matter how fond of you they may be. That was her fact of life.
She gave a much more honest sort of sigh, resting her chin on her paws and giving Balios a doleful sort of glance.
~~~
Balios wasn't sure what to make of this. His eyes softened. "That must be rough," he said. "My mom didn't know her dad most of her life, either. Then Grandpa Adonai showed up....but to be honest I she wasn't really that happy to see him." He smiled sheepishly, and realized that he was rambling. He looked down at his paws. "But, um. Anyway. It's a great pack. If you're into that sort of thing. I imagine it would be really lonely, not having any family."
Adonai, lingering now in the bushes, groaned. Oh, good lord. His grandson was an idiot and his new girlfriend was...well, what was she doing, anyway? Was she flirting with him? He was just a pup! Anger welled up in him. And to think, he had been ready to....well, okay, not quite settle down. But still. This was uncalled for.
Moreover, seeing the two of them together, Adonai couldn't help but notice how young she was. Not just girlish, not just a little silly. But actually, legitimately young. That more than anything bothered him. It made him feel uneasy in his core.
"...I see you're making friends," he muttered as he broke out into the open, spitting the flowers out onto the hardened snow at his paws.
~~~
"Oh, it wasn't so very bad. One grows strong from hardship, after all; though I haven't escaped without a little damage."
She didn't know why she'd felt the need to be that honest, but it was nice to finally get that bit off her chest. She might not have wanted to admit ever having a problem based on her lack of a father figure, but there it was; he'd done something to her by not ever being there, and that was the truth.
There was more she could have added, though, for a more dramatic effect, but then - she heard a very distinct voice, and turned her head to see a very distinct visage... how long had Adonai been hiding himself away, she wondered, and just how much did he hear? Her ears pricked, but she swallowed back any thoughts that he might have overheard anything incriminating because in truth, she had simply been talking to Balios on the matters of family. That couldn't be considered real flirting, could it?
Heavens if it was...
Still, it was best to not show any sort of guilt; just in case he did have the notion that she was being a bit of a scarlet letter. She pricked her ears and smiled genuinely, tail beginning to thump against the rock as she wiggled a bit. "Adonai!" she cried, bounding from her throne and prancing across the snow. "There you are! i've just met your grandson, and he has told me so many sad things - I never knew you had so much family!"
She wanted to let him know nothing serious had occurred between herself and his grandson (at least, not yet), and so tilting her ears back just a bit and nuzzling his chin, she rubbed herself against his neck and tried to seem every bit as thrilled to see him as she should be. And she was, she honestly was, because while Balios was new and young, Adonai had a maturity that made her feel safe. "You seem a little unhappy today. Is something the matter?"
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Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:57 am
Balios jerked away, looking immediately guilty. Much guiltier than he should have, really, considering nothing had actually happened. He opened his maw to apologize, closed it, and then stood feeling very awkward, especially as Tiyana went to greet his grandfather. He wasn't used to displays of public affection, considering his parents only seemed to moderately put up with each other most of the time.
Adonai nuzzled her back, sighing. "Just feeling a little old," he said. He glanced over at Balios. The pup -- Adonai would always think of him as a pup -- looked torn between embarrassment and guilt. Well now, this was a fine mess. "Sorry I didn't mention the family bit," he said, drawing back from Tiyana and looking her over, a little stormily. "It's all rather new to me, actually."
But not so new, was it old boy? Tiyana would've just been a pup when he'd first met his grandsons. Maybe edging into her adolescence -- maybe. That was a whole lifetime for her, a blink of the eye for him.
What kind of mess was he getting himself into, here? He was getting too old for this. "Balios behaving himself, I trust?" He asked, meaning it to come out as a joke but it caught huskily in his throat.
~~~
Tiyana shook her head, sitting herself at his paws and looking to Balios with an affectionate, if not apologetic look. "Your grandson is a fine fellow," she assured him. "He was concerned for a lady on her own. Much like yourself, you know."
Again, more words she honestly meant. Though she wasn't a liar or a cheat by nature, she was used to stretching the truth to its very limit; she didn't feel quite so inclinded to do so now, however, not when she felt Adonai's confidence flagging. "I think it is very noble of you to have returned to your family, even if they haven't been quite so warm in accepting you as they should be,"she murmured, touching the top of her head to his jaw and thinking, since when was she one for consoling? That wasn't usually her type of thing. "And I can assure you that you aren't old. I would have noticed if you were old, and since I haven't - why, it must mean you aren't. Because old men don't play, do they?"
Her last words were meant to come across as playful, and pawing tenderly at the flowers he had so unceremoniously dropped to the snow, she began to wonder; just what was she doing? She wasn't trying to be sweet, or to gain affections. She didn't have any need to remind him that she didn't care for age whatsoever, but it wasn't as though she needed to say these things! It was odd, and it felt a bit foreign to her. Maybe...
Maybe she was just having an off day. No, maybe she was going overboard in assuring him that she hadn't been trying anything funny with his grandson; maybe that was it. She had been very open toward Balios, and it was fun, but it wasn't the same as when she shared little moments with Adonai... which was a shame, because usually she would have found some sort of entertainment in this family situation. But blast it all if the moment she had seen his calico hide she'd melted like ice in the sun! Tiyana was losing her sense of fun, and it left her with a funny taste at the back of her tongue.
~~~
Balios grinned nervously. "I...uh...I should be heading back," he said, awkwardly rising back to his paws. He wasn't sure what bothered him more: the sudden tension in the area, or the sappy love-talk that seemed like it would, imminently, become worse.
Adonai looked up at him and gave him a complicated, pained look. What a fiasco. "You're a good boy, Balios. Thanks for keeping an eye out for her." He forced a smile.
He watched as his dappled son made his way out of the clearing and turned back to Tiyana, trying to sort out his feelings. "...Sorry," he muttered, and tried to figure out what he was apologizing for, precisely. "I...suppose you're right. I brought you flowers."
His tail waved. But the thing of it was, just then, he wasn't sure he wanted to play.
Adonai was by no means an old wolf. He'd been quite young and a bit full of himself when he'd met Kaelin. He had plenty of time left before the ravages of time consumed him. But...still. Now he was cranky. Doubly cranky, because not so long ago he'd been about to offer a long-term, stable relationship to this girl he had...shared...so much with, and now the thought that came into his mind was...
"...Are you sure you know what you want?" He blurted it out before he could stop himself, and then somehow couldn't keep his tongue from flapping. "If I'm....holding you back...keeping you from seeing the world....I...you're just so -young-"
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Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:59 am
Balios wasn't the only one who could see where the conversation was headed, and while part of her somewhat wished he hadn't been so quick to leave... another bit told her that it was for the best. If he couldn't handle honeyed words and affectionate nuzzling, then perhaps it was a good thing Adonai interrupted when he did. She looked down at the flowers and smiled, reaching for one to tuck into her winter-thick mane and planting another within Adonai's chestfurs. "You know... if I had wanted to see more of the world, I would have left by now," she said frankly, not even bothering to roll her r's or enunciate poetically. "I've already seen a lot, even if I am 'young.' I don't feel very young anymore, actually. The world's put me through some difficult things, and while I'd like to see more of it someday, I think I like where I am right now."
Lots of things. So many things. Fights and trysts, hardship and hunger; fondness and other funny emotions that pop up between wolves of opposite genders. As immature as she usually came across, she'd been forced to grow up early and face life for what it was; true, she'd pushed that sort of expectation on herself, but did that really matter? She didn't want to go anywhere, she didn't want anything that she didn't already have or hadn't already experienced. The usually intrepid young wolf was at a loss for what she did want, however, and so while she had no immediate answer for him, she was able to truthfully reply, "I don't want to be treated like a little girl, because I'm not. I just don't see what the world has to offer that you haven't already given me, and I appreciate that more than you know. So don't think you're holding me back or anything, because you aren't, and you never will; because I like being here, with you, and I wouldn't give that up for anything."
Funny. It almost felt as if she was falling into that 'real' love, the kind that sappy songs were written about and that made wolves do stupid things. But she didn't think she was doing anything stupid, because all she wanted was to be with Adonai a while longer.
~~~
Adonai's heart thudded. It was strange hearing her talk so frankly -- so earnestly -- when he was used to the idle flirtation between them, the banter. "I...well, then I have to trust you know what's best for you," he said, and smiled. "I don't want to hurt you, is all. Terreis might never believe that, but I'm...I'm not just some womanizing b*****d. I do care about you. A lot. Enough to maybe want to be with you....for a long time."
Except for that little niggling voice in the back of his head that thought, this is wrong...she can't possibly know what she wants out of life. You have to be the mature one here and break this off before you both get hurt.
Was that it? Was this all just fear of getting hurt? God help him.
~~~
Tiyana's eyes widened. She didn't know what to say.
How does one respond to that kind of affection? How long of a time did he think he could spend with her, and not eventually find that her personality was filled with potholes and forked roads? She couldn't speak, frosted over with a kind of fear being held at bay by the peculiar feeling that being wanted had brought up. Did she feel nice, or did she feel sick? Should she run away now, to avoid the situations she'd been avoiding her whole life... or would she stick around, if not only to find out precisely how long it took one wolf to know he didn't really want to be with her? Did she really know what was best for herself? Sometimes she doubted that, but for whatever reason, she felt pretty confident that Adonai was the best thing to happen to her thus far; and that was the best reason she had for staying, because the funny little ache in her chest told her it was alright and that there would be no pain for doing so.
"I might not always know what's best for myself," she confided, shrugging a little, "and I may make bad decisions sometimes, but I don't believe you are one of them. Terreis... I suppose your daughter... she's as wrong as any one wolf can be without becoming a liar, because all you've ever shown me is kindness and compassion. I could tell you many stories of the womanizers I've met, and all of them smelled rotten from the very start. I've never cared about anyone because not a single one of them has ever cared back; but you're different. You're good, and you're kind, and you'd never hurt me - I know all of this, it's obvious. And I think we could spend a - a long - a very long time together, too, because..."
Suddenly made bashful, Tiyana lowered her head. "Because if I could spend a long time with you, then maybe I'd become as good as you. I don't think I could ever care for anyone quite the way I do for you, so... please, don't make me leave."
~~~
Adonai's ears swept back and his eyes softened as she spoke. It occurred to him then that he knew very little about her -- as little about her as she knew about him, in fact. They'd never exactly bothered to communicate before about their pasts.
He wondered if that made a difference.
Surface affections were the only thing that mattered in easy-going flings. Going deeper...had never been necessary before.
And now, he realized he wasn't ready to do it. He'd just have to leave that step off for awhile and let things work themselves out. What did the past matter, anyway? The present, and a little bit of the future. Nothing wrong with focusing on just that now, right?
"I'm not going anywhere," he announced, and moved forward to draw her into an embrace. This wasn't smart, he thought. But it felt so good.
~FIN~
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