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One of the frequent issues we atheists try to wrap our head around, is the existence, or proof of God, or any other form of divine, or higher being. Some, if not most of us can be pretty obsessive over evidence and such. But yesterday I had a bit of a revelation.
Actually I had a dream. I'm frequent to have dreams that take form of things that have been foremost on my mind.
In that dream I was looking out across an inlet. It was evening and day had all but gone. Over the water of the inlet, an angel appeared. He lifted his arms to his sides and the water parted beneath him. He looked at me said, "Was it not the same for Moses when God divided the waters for he and his people?"
I just stood there, sort of quiet and a tad bit shocked.
Then he said, "Surely you recognize a miracle of God when you see it."
After it sank in a bit, I asked, "Why isn't God still doing miracles that we can recognize as divine and not just a part of the natural order?"
Smack me silly, this guy had answer. He said, "Look upon this miracle, and look upon me. Surely you recognize it. Would you not rejoice in the Lord for him doing this for you?"
I said, "If God did this for me, then yeah, I think I would. But I ask Christians all the time why God won't just perform some miracle I can recognize."
Then he replied. "Just as you see me now, you recognize that I am of God, and the waters parted beneath me are of his doing, and not of man's. For no man could have done it. Do you agree with this?"
"Yes," I said.
"Then let me tell you," he continued, "If three times this is done, people will surely rejoice, and say it is God. They will have no reason to deny it. If a hundred times this is done, they will rejoice in God's glory, but they will also ask... is this not nature? Is this not the natural order of things? Surely it must be. Look upon the sun and and the moon. Are they no less consistent? But if you ask this, you are forgetting from where the sun and moon came.
And if a thousand times this is done, on into the days of your children, they too will look upon it and call it nature, for it has been for all of their days. Even if I should I remain I will be seen as part of that nature. And though I speak to you now and you know I am of God, if for a thousand days or years I remain here just as I am, you will regard me as nature, and if I speak of God, you will demand I provide him, or rebuke his existence. Indeed God is not confined to the natural order."
At that point I had to ask the obvious. "Why can't I tell the difference?"
He answered, "Because in your mind you seperate God from nature. And thereafter, you try to justify his existence with the laws of that nature which he created. But he did not create that nature for himself. He created it for you, his children."
I told him, "But it's still hard to conceive. I just can't wrap my mind around it."
He said, "Let me show you."
Next thing I know I'm sitting in front of a computer. I didn't look beside me but I saw the angel in the reflection of the monitor.
He said, "In here you create world, entire realms with programs, laws, and beings you make as your own. These beings are bound to your laws and creations, but then, are you so too?"
I shook my head.
"Correct," he said. "And if you program them all to know you exist, they will know. But God gave you a choice. Say you create a being and give it a choice within a world of these programs. You make the information avialable to it that you exist, but it cannot find you, because you are not confined to its laws - the laws you created. Perhaps it will believe you, or perhaps not. In the beginning was it not so that God performed miracles, and people recognized the athority of those miracles? That is because they took it not for granted. Now with such knowledge, people are careless, and many attempt to master the laws for themselves. They will make study of them, and they will learn the ways of the law. But in their folly, they attempt to bind God to the laws of nature, because the very logic they understand is bound to that nature. It is the extend of their knowledge, and for that, they have forsaken wisdom. Yet many among them see these laws for what they are, and recognize God's handywork. Sadly, they are critisized for their rational thinking. After all, what exists beyond logic and the laws of nature that describe it?
So go ahead, tell them you are real to those whom you have created. But how will you tell them? If at first you write it, they will recognize your authority, but after a thousand times it is written, they will see it as nature and question your authority. They will even question your involvement. Were you even there at all? This is because many of them have become complacent."
Next thing I know, we're standing on top of a mountain together, looking out over a valley and forest.
"Where are all the miracles, you ask. I tell you, they are as abundant as they ever have been. Is the air you breathe not such a miracle? Would you and all people like you not perish without it? Surely, just as God sustains you each and every day of your lives, it is a miracle. You don't have to see God to recognize him."
I laughed. He looked at me. His expression didn't change. It was slate-like and calm, but something about it almost made me cringe for having laughed.
"I'm sorry," I said. "It's just that I find that very hard to believe."
"Your sweater," he pointed at the one I was wearing. "Who made it for you?"
"My sister," I told him.
"Look at it. Is your sister to be found within its fiber?"
"No," I said, "but-"
"But what?" He asked.
"I know she made it because she told me. It's also kind of obvious."
"And did she tell you herself?"
I shook my head. "No. Actually, I haven't spoken to her since she sent it to me. But she wrote a letter."
"And," he began, "you have faith in the authenticity of that letter because of your faith in her existence."
"I know because I've seen her," I told him.
"But if you had never seen her, and she sent you the sweater with a letter proclaiming her undying love for you as her sister, would you doubt it so as you doubt God?"
"No," I replied.
"And why is that?" He asked.
"Because," I went on, "The scope of God is just so unbelievable compared to that of an actual person."
"That still doesn't justify it," he told me. I was a little set back by that. "Because you first divide in your mind what is God and what is nature. Because you do not divide your sister from nature, you do not question her existence. If you stop dividing God in your mind as you do, you will begin to see him, not as a part of nature, but as its very influence. Surely anyone who accepts this will see the Lord's work and recognize it for what it is. In his work you will see him, but find him you will not. Look at your sweater. Do you not see your sister as its craftsman? Are there not signs that tell you she alone made it and no one else? For who else could make the heavens, the earth, and the stars but God? Is there any who even so much as tries?"
"No," I answered.

But here's where I get a little... well... stuck I guess.
I have dreams like this a lot. It's usually focused around whatever it is I'm trying to figure out. I mean, I don't always take them very literally, because I also dream of other things the same way.
But the part that has instigated the potential source of my dreams otherwise, is that Christians have often told me this is an angel of the devil that's talking to me. They justify it because every dream I have like this ends the same way.

Aside from God, if I choose to believe, I also want to know if Jesus was real or not as the son of God. In fact, many Christians think I'm getting some sort of real guidance in my dreams, until they hear how it ends...

And to this angel I asked, "What about Jesus?"
And then he just fades away. Every single time I ask about Jesus the angel disappears.
Part of me thinks that if this was any kind of real guidance, that he would answer my question. But the more logical part of my mind, and certain psychologists, tell me that the angel disappearing represents my doubts on Jesus, and that the other factors in my dreams are personal revelations I've had that rise up in my dreams where I'm not as distracted as I am when I'm awake. For all things considered, I'm inclined to agree with it... maybe because it makes sense to me and I find that answer comforting.

And if I think about it with any real meaning outside that, it brings up other questions? Like why won't these angels ever answer questions about Jesus. And if they are of satan, as some have said, why then do all they talk about is the glory and kingdom of God? They never ask me to do anything that I could even conceive as being against God. And if it was the devil, wouldn't he in some way attempt to refute Jesus in some way?
Man I know this subject is a bit sticky. But these dreams really help me see things with a better view thereafter. I usually keep this kind of stuff to myself, but I think it's worthy of discussing here.

growing up most of my friends were either pagan or athiest, my sister is agnostic and i have no idea what my dad is. plus i havent even been a christian that long. as long as someone respects my beliefs and doesnt put their beliefs or lack of beliefs on me then i will be polite and wont push mine on them

if someone has questions i anwer them to the best of my abilities, but i dont have any bible verses memorized so i dont hold up wel lin an argument or debate, not that i enjoy arguing or debating anyways