Welcome to Gaia! ::

Pro Wrestling Guild

Back to Guilds

Lets talk about professional wrestling. 

Tags: Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment, Impact, NJPW, Ring of Honor 

Reply The Pro Wrestling Guild
CM Punk's shoot promo (script)

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Yukari Clepsydra

Swashbuckling Sentai

15,250 Points
  • Hotblooded Hero 50
  • Hero 100
  • Battle: KO 200
PostPosted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 5:47 am


"John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me.

I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.

I don’t hate you, John. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.

I hate this idea that you’re the best. Because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in the world. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing Vince McMahon’s a**.

You’re as good as kissing Vince McMahon’s a** as Hulk Hogan was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Dwayne though. He’s a pretty good a** kisser. Always was and still is.

Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall! (Punk waves to the camera)

I am the best wrestler in the world.

I’ve been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I’m going to leave with the WWE Championship.

I’ve grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon’s brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that there just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! Nobody can touch me!

And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups. I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don't get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania. I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Conan O’Brian. I’m not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.

This isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Dwayne is in the main event at WrestleMania next year and I’m not makes me sick!

Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You’re the ones that buy those programs that my face isn’t on the cover of. And then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face and get an autograph and try to sell it on Ebay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job.

I’m leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe…I’ll go back to Ring of Honor.

(Punk looks at the camera and waves)

Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing?

The reason I’m leaving is you people. Because after I’m gone, you’re still going to pour money into this company. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. Vince McMahon is going to make money despite himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he’s not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, non-sensical, douchebag (censored) yes men, like John Laurinaitis, who’s going to tell him everything he wants to hear, and I’d like to think that maybe this company will better after Vince McMahon is dead. But the fact is, it’s going to be taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family.

Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon alright. We do this whole (anti) bully campaign

(Mic cut off.)"
PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:58 am


Wow...

Someone has time on their hands. You actually typed out, word for word no less, the entire rant? Impressive!

But just remember that it's a work.

black_wing_angel

Blessed Rogue

10,775 Points
  • Megathread 100
  • Perfect Attendance 400
  • Mega Tipsy 100

Harli_Nightmare

Beloved Reveler

9,200 Points
  • Peoplewatcher 100
  • Invisibility 100
  • Survivor 150
PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:36 am


black_wing_angel
Wow...

Someone has time on their hands. You actually typed out, word for word no less, the entire rant? Impressive!

But just remember that it's a work.
This picture sums up how I feel about you're post

User Image


Because he's aware that it's a work and he copied and pasted it.
PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 5:01 am


I'm just surprised that the one serious grammatical error he made was actually in the script.

The Millenium Walken

Eloquent Humorist

11,675 Points
  • Mark Twain 100
  • Elocutionist 200
  • Tycoon 200

Yukari Clepsydra

Swashbuckling Sentai

15,250 Points
  • Hotblooded Hero 50
  • Hero 100
  • Battle: KO 200
PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 9:28 am


Uh.. I actually kinda typed it out... After I was done I found someone who posted it online, but mine was correct so...

I know its a work, but it doesn't matter to me if it was or wasn't. It was damn good.
Reply
The Pro Wrestling Guild

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum