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 Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:33 pm
Johnathan Miller was overwhelmed. He hadn't seen his partner in crime, his assistant in all things ninja, his jedi master Cassidy Bresner in roughly six months (which was like omg FOREVER in Johnny's distorted perception of time). This lead the boy to send a frantic and disjointed series of text messages to the one and only Jedi Master Cass as quickly as possible. Cass could have been mugged and beaten or passed out somewhere in a ditch or sold into the sex slave industry Oh My God. Therefore, Johnny took it upon himself to investigate to the best of his abilities. Which were limited, not that something like this would stop him.
dude whur r u!?!?
duuuuuuuuuude cass r u hom?!
duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude
caaasssss
CAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
cass
hey cass
caaaaaassss
All of these messages were sent in a timespan of about three minutes. Before Johnny really knew what was going on, he was out of his house, blasting down the street at the speed of Reckless, jay walking and running through Sunday traffic and found himself plastered to Cassidy's bedroom window. Thank god the boy lived on the bottom floor. Otherwise, things would get really ugly. Johnny was bouncing up and down, still sending texts as fast as his fingers would move.
dude cass open ur windo
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Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 11:54 pm
Cass had been lounging on the bottom bunk of the fire engine red bed occupying his room. Dad was out on an 18 hour shift, Alex was 'babysitting' (Oh, the indignity) and being grounded was possibly the most booooring thing ever he might as well just sleep forever.
The barrage of texts went unknown to him, since his cellphone had been confiscated, turned off, and locked in his father's nightstand for the crime of 'generally being a brat'. But hearing rustling outside, Cass flopped out of bed with a groan and went to investigate.
Seeing Johnny smashed against his window, he let out a yelp and flopped backwards before recognizing his bro 4 lyfe. You know, if they were cool enough to be bros.
He scuttled over and slide the window pane open, bouncing up and down. "You read my miiiind! The tyrant is... is uh," Oh god, he was so excited he forgot the word. "AT WORK!"
He pulled Johnny in, or at least assisted with awkward pulling, but not before dramatically getting in his face. "I have been grounded. Grounded. It's soooooooooo boring. So. Boring."
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Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 5:53 am
"DUDE CASS I thought you were dead or a slave or like shipped to Mexico or something so I was like I GOTTA GO SAVE CASS and oh I brought some f---"
Before one Johnathan Miller could finish his sentence, his form slid unexpectedly down the wall on which the window sat, oozing into a pile of laundry. He held out a bag distinctly from Glendy's, the favorite hotspot of the boys just up the street. Thank god his dad trusted him with $10. Righting himself like greased lightning, Johnny busted out his Sammich of Goodness and realized he forgot to bring drinks. Cass' meal consisted of the Ultimate Uber Burger, the boy's fave. "Oh oops. Diyu have sodas here, Cass? Or like are you under super ultra house arrest and you can't even have soda cuz your dad thinks they're laced with drugs?"
Knowing that The Tyrant (Cass' dad) and The Butthole (Cass' older brother) were gone made the curly-haired boy shine. "But DUDE whaddid you do to get grounded? Aren't we too old for that or somethin'?" Johnny then went to munching on his burger and fries straight on the floor. Sure, the smell of the food would permeate the room and no doubt give away the fact that Cass was either given food or he left the house, but since when did Johnny ever think that far ahead?
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 6:58 am
Oh food. Fooooooooooood. Cass hadn't tasted the sweet, sweet relief of outside food in what felt like forever. His dad was not adjusting to having to cook on a regular basis very well. Dinnertime at his dad's since his parents split was comparable to an episode of Fear Factor. Combine that with being unable to escape and he suddenly realized he was starving. That burger smelled like ground up angel meat.
"What did I d-do?!" He said, complete with some arm flailing for 'subtle' emphasis. "I got sent to Hillworth. Apparently I'm not supposed to have any fun after that ever." According to his dad the fact he was allowed to come home for the summer on it's own was a privilege.
Sodas. They had soda. But it involved venturing out into the living room/kitchen area of the little house. Off the top of his head, Cass figured there was a 3% chance of dad being home early and catching them and a 50% of Alex doing the same.
Obviously this required stealth.
Opening his bedroom door and leaning far out in to the hall, he looked left, and then right, and then waved for Johnny to follow as he stepped carefully along the carpet one bare foot at a time and sloooowly reached to turn on the light.
Empty. He let out a deep sigh of relief as the open space divided in to clear living room and kitchen sections lit up to reveal no one lurking. With that, he scuttled over to the fridge and dug around at their soda stock. "We have Pepsi, Sprite and..." Mountain Dew. Cass glossed over much of Johnny's spastic behavior, but even he had to admit there was something unsettling about the prospect of pumping him full of that much sugar and caffeine.
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Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 7:54 am
HOMNOMNOMMUNCHCHEWGOBBLE
Johnny was still listening to Cass' tale of woe, he promised. It just didn't look like it at the rate he was inhaling the burger. Once he finished that, Johnny snapped his jaws a few times and nodded profusely. "Hillworth? Dude Hillworth is like jail, isn't it? Cuz like, all the bad kids go there. You're not a bad kid!" The other boy emphasized this through a rather pathetic look on his face, as if he pitied Cass more than the puppy in the box down the street. And he would feed the puppy and Cass in the same manner. Peeps and pups deserved to eat! "And they make you wear plaid. I got to Azure now and I have to wear this suit thing and it looks silly."
But now came the fun part - ninja escapades. He knew he could count on Cass to be Totally Awesome even when grounded. As the boys creeped about the house, all seemed clear. Johnny whipped his hair back and forth head all around like a good ninja to see if anyone was coming. Seemed like the house was still empty. Once they reached the fridge in relative safety, Johnny snatched up a Sprite. His mom always said he should drink sodas with no caffeine since the last time he did, he stayed up for three days straight and actually vibrated. It thoroughly creeped out Mrs. Miller.
"Hey Cass, since you're grounded n stuff, are peeps still allowed to come see you? Cuz I would die if I couldn't see my bud." Johnny made a frowny face akin to the internet smile.
sad
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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:37 am
Cass was not participating in ninja escapades for fun. At least not right now. Alex might only be a year older than him, but he was much, much bigger, and never hesitated to solve their little tiffs by trying to pound some sense into him, especially when dad wasn't around. Avoidance maneuver no. 3 is a go!
As much as he enjoyed seeing a cracked out Johnny, Cass was relieved to see him pass over the Mountain Dew. He, however, felt like he was perfectly justified in grabbing a bottle before he settled down to tear into the burger and chatter with his mouthful between choking on giant gulps of food.
"And a shcarff," He said, though muffled, about the Azure uniform. He envied Johnny a little, though, wondering what it would be like there. He wasn't a good enough student to get a scholarship and they were far from rich enough to afford tuition, so it was a far off, unreachable place to him.
With one, forceful gulp, he downed what he was chewing on and washed it down with a few chugs of soda before continuing with his nose scrunched up at the thought of his own school uniform. "But I have to wear a sweater vest too. And a tie. Ugh."
He much preferred his negaverse uniform but... well that wasn't really something her was allowed to discuss with Johnny. Sadness. Forever.
"I dunno," Cass's shoulders made that little 'I don't feel like answering' shrug. The terms of his punishment were constantly shifting, like dad couldn't remember exactly what he was punishing him for, and asking usually ignited some yelling. "Maybe you should stick to the.. uh... the window," He said, punctuating that awkwardness with more snarfing and chugging.
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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:08 am
"Whaaaaat, for real? A sweater vest? They make you wear sweater vests in Hell, Cass. That's what Dad said. That, and he said that rich yuppies wear sweater vests when going to the golf course and they drink Starbucks uber jumbo grandespressos with their pinkies out going, 'Ahuh ahuh ahuh'. Do that do that at Hillworth?"
Azure Valley was full of nerdy boys, but even then Johnny didn't really fit in. He was too hyper and not as interested in robotics as his winning essay might have made him seem. How Robots Will Take Over the World was the essay title, and Johnny's father never once believed it would win anything. Fortunately (or unfortunately, as the case may be) the judges took it as a social commentary on humanity's increasing dependence on automated systems over time. Johnny always shrugged it off, thinking that his use of the thesaurus was what got him in. Either way, his imagination and inability to sit still sometimes got him in trouble. Azure Valley wasn't known as a ninja training academy.
Taking a slurp of his soda, the boy continued. "So maybe your dad will let you have visitors cuz," His voice fell to a whisper and Johnny stared almost expectantly at the door, as if either Alex or the Kool-Aid Man were about to burst through it, "you're not a bad dude like Alex is. He's kind of a butt." In years past, if Alex would beat on one of the duo, the other would jump on the older boy in and attempt to save his friend. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. They were still perfecting their technique.
"So what else you been up to?"
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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:28 am
"No, there's mostly lots of punching," Cass said between bites. "And stealing. And homerotic subtext because it's nothing but dudes everywhere. Wrestling and fighting and... Yeah, dude."
He did not like Hillworth. He was hoping it'd earn him some street cred at first but it only made all the girls he knew concerned he'd go from being stuffed in lockers to eaten alive. So now the charm was gone. Now all he had to hope for was that growth spurts were not myths and he had one coming.
"Alex isn't that bad he's just... going through a jerk phase," Cass had an inordinate amount of forgiveness for his brother. Even when he really shouldn't, because Alex really, really was a butt. And Cass kind of knew that. But part of him was hoping he would come back to the 'Tard side and stop with all this popular a*****e nonsense.
For now, their technique definitely needed work.
"I dunno. Oh! Dude! There's a Space Museum! And they have a real spaceship and a real spacesuit and a real meteor. How did we not know there was a whole freaking museum about space?"
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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 7:38 pm
Now, Johnny knew homosexuals were out there. He was a very accepting guy. He didn't care what anyone else was doing to themselves or other people so long as they didn't force it on him. The words "homo" and "erotic" were two things he didn't ever think to place together, and after much deliberation, realized that it meant Cass was probably going to become the victim of unwanted male advances. Or worse. Johnny started to bite his nails in extreme anxiety for poor Cass. He didn't want his bestest best buddy to be a victim!
"Cass, dude, that is way not cool. Homoerectors and whatever, that is bad news. Do you carry pepper spray? A rape whistle? I have some pepper spray someplace. Heck I'll make you some pepper spray." The young boy leaned forward and latched onto his friend's torso and clung like Cass was the last human on Earth. "Cass I gotta saaaaaave yoooooouuuu!"
Everything about Alex flew right out the window. Johnny had some choice words about the older sibling, and felt he had a right to say them because he was an outsider looking in. Plus, he'd been beat on by Alex too. Extra points. Being an only child was lookin' really good right now. Just being around Cass' older brother made Johnny's loneliness melt away. He'd wanted a sibling for the longest time, but not after meeting Alex!
Johnny was so concerned about Cass that even the space museum didn't phase him. Oh dear.
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:56 am
The second 'homoerectors' passed over Johnny's lips, Cass sharply inhaled and ended up choking on a mouthful of burger. He should've known so much better.
"N-no," He managed to wheeze out, still coughing up food particles that went down the wrong tube. At Johnny's latching and proclaiming how he was going to save him, Cass flat out tumbled to the floor, still coughing too hard to get out any more words than some babbling and wheezing.
As much as he wanted to get the conversation off Alex and Cass's pathetic, puppy way of following him around and saying he could do no wrong.
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 6:44 am
"OH CRAP CASS. Hang on, I know CPR! Or... uh... I know how to spell it!"
In truth, Johnny did take a CPR class when learning how to swim so he could help save one of his fellow classmates. He was ten years old, so the memory couldn't be that far away, right? Slapping his hands over his mouth, the boy found that any knowledge he had gained from the class was lost in a haze of panic. The boy's blue eyes bulged out ever which way and without thinking, he lifted Cass up and smacked him squarely across the back to try and dislodge the burger. Oh god, what if he choked to death and turned blue?!
As he waited to see the results, Johnny's hands and face turned sheet white from all the blood draining out of them. He felt a little woozy, but he had to make sure his bestest best buddy was okay first! Then he could pass out. And hopefully not choke too because that would suck.
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Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2011 5:28 pm
A series or weird syllables escaped Cass's mouth as he tried to both assure his friend he really didn't need CPR but was interrupted by the involuntary reflex trying to right the wrong tube incident.
And the fact he was panicking over Johnny's reaction wasn't helping. Oh god, he hoped he hadn't seen any House episodes with tracheotomies in them.
"FINE!" He wheezed out with persistence and hacked up the last few particles of food stuff as he pushed himself to his knees. "I'm fine!" He said again once he could push it out more convincingly.
"Jesus, Johnny, I don't think that word means what you think it means," He said seriously before the absurdity of the situation overcame him and he burst out into a series or giggles on the floor. Or maybe he was just light headed from the lack of oxygen.
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Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2011 7:56 pm
Johnny blinked and leaned over in sudden relief. "CPR is a series of words and um. I forgot how to do it." came the admission. "But you're okay now! Right? No dying? Don't die Cass. I'd be extra sad." The boy's lower lip quivered for emphasis and he felt terrible all over again. That burger could have been the agent of Cass' demise, and if Cass kicked the bucket, life as he knew it was over.
Now that Cass was giggling, Johnny knew things would be Alright Again, which was another relief. With the food devoured and digesting, they could move onto something else. "Oh hey Cass, besides being grounded, did... did anything super weird happen to you lately?"
Johnny wasn't sure how to describe Purplezilla and all the weird stuff that happened to him a few weeks ago, but since he couldn't tell his family, he had to tell someone. And that someone was Cassidy. The boy twiddled his thumbs for a bit, wondering if he was vague enough to be safe and specific enough for Cass to catch on. Wait, what if Cass was a pirate? OH GOD.
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Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 6:36 am
"No I mean... nevermind," Cass snerked as he got back up to his feet. He really didn't want to discuss the meaning of homoerotic with Johnny. Nooope.
He went back and practically inhaled what was left of hi burger, no pun intended, and listened to Johnny, brow furrowing in thought as he asked his question and Cass chugged down some soda.
Weird? Well, besides becoming an agent of darkness to fight some aliens a la video game plot and having to train with a bitchy pink haired lady? Well, that was his first thought. And he reeeeally wanted to share that with Johnny, but at the same time, he didn't want to get broken in half by a superior officer for jeopardizing his secret identity.
Still, it was Johnny. Unless Johnny was an alien. OH GOD, did they have bodysnatchers powers? That was probably why he had to be so secretive. Johnny seemed pretty normal, though. Unless they absorbed his memories and this was all an elaborate plot.
Cass' mind suddenly went on a silent tangent about the aliens' possible motivations for stealing Johnny's brain, all the while unconsciously leaning closer and closer into his friend's face with narrow, suspicious eyes.
"Yes," He said finally, and his look went from suspicious to shifty as if to double check if anyone was listening in and he whispered, "I learned about the aliens."
Yes that was bad. Oh god, he would definitely be broken in half for this if Johnny was not in the know, or in the know on the bodysnatcher's side he had suddenly convinced himself existed. But if Johnny was an alien, Cass was quite certain life would suck too much for him to care about that doom thing anyway.
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Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:57 pm
Even as Cass was leaning in with his oh so suspicious eyes, Johnny was doing the same. Except he wasn't looking suspicious, just wall-eyed like he normally did. Once Cass admitted to learning about the aliens (which he equated to be the space pirates, as aliens did tend to come from space. Or from outside the country, according to the news), Johnny's brain and mouth went into overdrive. Good thing he wasn't eating or drinking anything at the time or it'd be sprayed as a new coat of paint all around Cass' room.
"So you saw Purplezilla too?!" he squeaked, flailing his arms around in an attempt to impersonate Tanzanite. She wouldn't have been pleased in the least bit. "Did she make things Get Dead around you too and have wings and was really tall and creepy?!"
He wasn't sure how to explain the whole chest-fondling, falling-away-from-the-world feeling that came afterwards, but Purplezilla lived on in his mind as a very terrifying part of the new organization he now belonged to as Bazzite. Whoever or whatever she was, she was certainly not a ninja, and therefore not his commanding officer. Not like Kimono Lady, who was very nice and cute and wore Asian things. That made her amazing in his book. He idly wondered if Cass met Kimono Lady or Purplezilla if he was in the same organization.
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