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 Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 1:48 pm
She'd been gone for longer than he'd ever known her to leave - more than a few days, or even a couple of weeks; it had been almost a moon since he'd seen her last. He missed her, and more than ever, he wished that she'd come back. But in the meantime, he had his studies to attend to - Ishika needed training, since she'd embraced his ways for the most part, and the plains and forests that the family lived in needed to be discovered and familiarized.
Even so, Bedwyr procrastinated, putting things off another day. He was waiting - waiting for Lavender to come home to him, as she always did.
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 2:05 pm
 She had been gone far to long she had promised herself a quick return but things had come up that had kept her away from the ones she loved. She was going back now though knowing that they would understand her and share there love with her. She loved them all deeply but what was once there for her mate was gone now she held a place in her heart for him and always would but things were changing no longer did she feel the spark she once had. As she made the journy back to the place where she had lived she wondered what they would think when they saw her again it had been forever and she could not quite clearly remember there faces. Her mate would be wating for her and hopefully her kids to who had grown so fast it seemed.
Why would one feel compelled to move on after they found someone they could never forget? She could not anwser that question that was burning in her mind always there where had they gone wrong? They still loved one another but where did the flame of being lifemates go? She wondered if she could ever be truely happy with anyone seeming more like one who would roam than settle down even if she did meet another stallion he would only be second to Bedwyr her first love.
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 2:17 pm
Bedwyr was staring off at the horizon when he saw it - a dark spot on the plain, slightly mixed with violet. He couldn't decide whether to run to her or wait for her, and in the end, puzzled with himself, just shifted his hooves restlessly. He knew that once, a long time ago, when the children had been foals, he would have run across that long plain to be at her side, but something had changed. It was like the flame had guttered out, leaving only a trail of smoke behind...
When at last he could clearly see her face, he found written on it that Lavender looked distraught. The children, who had now gone off out of sight on their own adventures, were out of the way, and he would be able to talk to her. Waiting, he anxiously thought over the last weeks. He'd been worried and lonely, and now this mix of feelings toward her... He'd proposed getting lifemated, and now wasn't sure whether to regret that or be resigned about it. He wasn't particularly looking forward to something that had been a dream of his for moons, and there had to be something utterly wrong with that. It was time they had a talk, and he would make her sit down and clarify things for him, if that's what it took.
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 2:44 pm
There he was waiting for her outside of the place she once lived at the place where the dreams of family once came true the sounds of laughter echoing though the forest now though all was silent not a sound could be heard and she felt tension in the air. She walked right up to him and embraced him putting her head on his shoulder and staying like that breathing slowly taking the time to feel him once more he had missed being near him next to him feeling the warmth he gave off. She sighed and pulled back dragging his hair forward looking into his eyes seeing if any spark was there but she knew her eyes would betray her her eyes showed loved and compassion but the fire that once burned in her eyes was gone.
She waited for him to speak first wanting to hear him not her own voice. She must of been away longer than she thought considering it seemd like the kids were all long gone and he had been living alone for quite some time. She felt sorry that she left him waiting but now she was back and she would tell him what was on her mind.
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 2:56 pm
Bedwyr breathed a sigh of relief as Lavender hugged him, and he briefly hugged her back as she pulled away, bringing his mane into his eyes. He laughed a little before flicking it back - a mark of his heritage, his mane had always been messy and in the way of his eyes. A hazard of being born a full-blooded unicorn, he supposed.
As Lavender looked into his eyes, studying him, he realized that she was looking for something - something that she probably wouldn't find. Saddened, he looked back at her and found the same thing missing. Unsure what to say, he simply said, "Hello."
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 3:03 pm
She smiled at him still playful showing off a side of her that might of been more prominent in the days she was with him. She noticed him looking back at her in the same way she looked at him he was searching for that same thing she was..she knew he would not find it but she saw love in his eyes even if not strong as before she saw it the hint in his eyes that let her know he still cared. The ghost of the flame was alive in his eyes he seemd to have grown older since they had last seen eachother but she cared not about growing older or how he looked.
"It has been a very long time since we have talked and we have much to catch up on. We have both changed in our time away i can tell that..I care deeply about you and the family how are the kids doing?" she looks back at him concerned about how they might of fared
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 3:32 pm
Her smile still brightened his heart, but sadness lurked there anyway. Lavender's sudden need to talk about everything at once broke the stillness and the sluggishness that he had wished everything might have, but he supposed it was time they talked seriously and thoroughly. Bedwyr nodded.
"The children are fine," he told her, glad to have something to talk about other than themselves for at least a second. "Bardán has grown into his musical ability; he's taller and broader than I am, which is a feat a lot of people do not achieve." Bedwyr was tall and broad - at least equal to Lavender, who had the Draft blood in her. "Ishika has turned from a filly to a mare, and is as beautiful and fascinated as ever... And there's Fergus, who remains a mystery. All have gone out on their own, though Ishika stops by for a lesson once in a while," he said, a slight ring of sorrow on his tone. The children had kept his loneliness from growing too heavy on his heart, but they were gone; at least Lavender was back, even if he knew they were to be less than what they had been. "They've missed you. As have I," he added, looking at her.
Time had been cruel to them, and he would let her do the talking for a little while. He needed to get some of the weight off his shoulders. "How was your journey?"
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 3:45 pm
She lisitend intently to his words taking in everything smiling at the thought of her kids all grown up and happily living there lives. She has a longing to see them but knows they would not be very close right now anyways and sighs dreaming of seeing them once more the kids she worked so hard to raise proudly and happily remembering the good memories they shared.
"I am glad at this news i can imagine them happy living there own lives" she smiles at him moving closer again. "If i do not get to see them again..if they wander back will you tell them how much i miss them?" she gest close enough to rest her head on his shoulder "I have missed being close to you..feeling your warmth next to me i wish to make up the time appart even if we are not what we could of been or once were" it pains her to talk to him this way and she closes her eyes trying to keep the tears from falling trying to stay strong for him and the family.
"My journy..was great but i cannot compare it to this i would do anything for you to see you..you know that and i know you would do the same for me..we are still close in mind and body our hearts have separated some though it gives me great pain to think about the day you asked me to lifemate..what could of been is lost" She burries her head farther into his mane now putting all her sorrow onto him
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 4:02 pm
He tried not to flinch, not to feel the pain. He tried, but he felt a lump growing in his throat even as she hugged him again. He didn't want to pull away and make her sad, but his heart was tearing raggedly into pieces. He forced himself to stand still, to stomach it. "All is not lost, Lav," he said, using the fond nickname he'd given her when they'd met as foals due to his inability to say her entire name. "I promise that you will see them again, and Bardán will probably come looking for you eventually. But if you wish it, I will tell them that you miss them." Sighing, he turned his neck to look at her.
"You sound as though you are planning to take off again, and soon," Bedwyr said, giving her a look that spoke only sadness and despair, and a wish that she might not leave him so soon after this news they'd been forced to relay to each other. He'd been hoping for a mutual life-mating when she'd returned, as they'd planned, not a mutual heart-breaking. He needed time to recover from this blow, and he wished she could stay so they could help each other through it... But that was up to her.
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 4:35 pm
Finally she pulled back from him breaking into a terry eyed joyful smile. She wiped her tears on her and tried to lighten the mood being like this would never solve anything and it would only get worse if she was like this. "I have hope i will never be lost" she nods at him smiling at the use of the nickname "I trust you that i will see them do not tell them that only tell them to seek me out i will tell them myself how much i have missed them" She looks back at him knowing the words are true
"I cannot stay for long it breaks my heart to leave so soon..i may be able to stay for a month or two but the sooner i move on the better..i will never forget you and you will always be first in my heart" she nods not knowing how long 2 months could be why did she have to finnaly return only rto break his heart? Staying away would of only made it worse and she could of never left him hanging was she doing the right thing..?
"I remember when we first met..we were foals and promised to love one another and we did and we still do i will always remember your charm you still charm me even now" she grins at him "My knight has grown up and rescued me "
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 4:46 pm
Oh, Goddess, save me, Bedwyr thought. Every word Lavender spoke was tearing him apart bit by bit - every word of reminiscence and 'always' made him want to break something. He wanted to be alone, to think in silence. He wanted Ishika beside him - she'd always been good at reading him. He'd have to find her before he sunk into some sort of oblivion. He smiled weakly at Lavender. "I will tell them," he said. "Please don't be offended, but I think that it is best if you left now... I need space."
Taking a shuddering breath, Bedwyr turned his back on her and walked away, doing the only thing he knew he might have the strength for. His head was reeling and he felt like the blood from his destroyed heart was filling his lungs, drowning him. He found a dark hollow beneath a shady tree, not too far away, and didn't look back at Lavender. He braced himself, hoping she wouldn't follow him. He wouldn't be able to handle it. He prided himself on his self control, but his sadness was quickly turning to anger.
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 4:55 pm
Why were things happening so fast? She was stunned right now not knowing what to do she was loosing herself with every word she spoke she was loosing herself to him. The would should of just came crashing down on them so they could let go closed feelings she thought he would understand her for all times but he was breaking she could see it in him being with him for so long she knew he was at his breaking point. She hung her head and spoke softly "Thank you..thank you.." she shakes her head when he leaves turning his back to her walking away from there only link. She stands there watching him go and then turns her back on him knowing nothing could help him now if she followed him he would lash out at her she knew well enough from the past. She did the only thing she knew she ran. she kept running till the tears clouded her vision and she landed in a crumpled heap of horse sobbing into the grass not know where to turn to from here she could not go back she has to find her kids
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 5:07 pm
Bedwyr, lying down to keep himself from harming anything, had his ear to the ground. He heard the pounding of Lavender's hooves through the ground, and then he heard the impact of her frame hitting the plain. He knew she was crying, and sympathy pushed through the anger that had him gnashing his teeth to keep from breaking down a sapling.
Bedwyr got to his feet and went off to find Lavender. She couldn't handle this on her own - she wasn't the kind that was good at being in isolation and coping at the same time. When he found her, she was lying on the ground, sobbing. He crouched down beside her, nuzzling her neck as comfortingly as he could manage. "Come on, Lav," he said. "We should tell the children."
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 7:02 pm
She was so adsorbed in her thoughts she did not know he came after her. It was when he felt her trying to comfort her that she knew he was there. She wanted to stay in her spot unable to cope with this disaster but eventually she stopped crying and looked up trying to stay strong once more and she reluctantly got up. She was very soft on the inside and things like this could easily bring her down no matter how tough she tried to be she was a very stern mother but inside she sometimes would feel lonely and such feelings would surface. She had two very different personality all in the same mare.
She used him as a support not at all blaming him for what happened "I am sorry i ran you know im not strong with emotions i will take blame for this its my fault for trying to say everything at once" she nods at him looking strong once more "I am ready to find them and tell them what is going on i will always look back on the better days..i hope to forget this running nonsense" she nods at him "You did what you had to do and i admit so did i"
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 7:23 pm
"It's alright," he said, looking at her with kind eyes. "It's no one's fault - these things happen." He had always had a soft side for Lavender, and didn't want to hurt her. Much to his melancholy, that flame he'd thought had gone out was coming back. But if it was really gone for her, he'd have to help her. And if that meant faking it, he'd do it.
"Shall we go find them?" he asked, offering his shoulder for her to lean on as she got up. He didn't even want to think about how the children would take this - he'd instilled the importance of finding one love since they'd been in their baskets, whispering to them about how much he loved their mother when he'd been lonely. And while he might never find another love to replace Lavender, he couldn't say what she might do. He certainly wasn't in any mood to start looking for romance soon. This heart break might never heal - he loved her, and he didn't know how he would be able to let her go.
{OoC - We should have them tell the kids in another RP and just finish this one with them going off to find them.}
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