Concept on hold o3o

[ATh e a r t]

Name: Aquene Bonnet (/bon//nE/)
=> First name meaning: "Peace - Native American"
=> Surname meaning: "An occupational surname from the Old French "bonet," used to describe a maker of bonnets."

History - Born in France, her parents decided to bring her to the U.S. in order for her to have a more stable life. Her mother, Francois Bonnet, spends a lot of time traveling with her husband, Jean Michel Bonnet, where he would trying to sell as well as design hi-fashion hats. Their family lineage has a long history of hats, in which is the reason why their surname is 'Bonnet'.

Nickname: Bonnie
=> Aquene treasures the time she spends with her parents. She feels as though only her parents have the right to call her by her first name because it makes it more 'special' being only able to hear it on the phone and face to face a few times a year. Even her nanny isn't permitted to call her Aquene.

Age: 9

Birthday: July 15th

Sign: Cancer

Gemstone: Ruby

Blood Type: AB+

Fav. Food: Delicate sweets, but only if they have sprigs of mint! (That includes Crème Brule, Tiramisu, etc.; she has a big sweet tooth for these, and can pretty much be her ‘Achilles Heel’)

Hated Food: Fast foods – She finds them way too greasy.

School: Knightside Elementary

Hobbies:
Drawing – Okay, okay... Aquene would admit that she's not very good at it, but she is improving! Even her stick figures when she could control her hand movement didn't look quite like a stick figure, giving each person a rectangular body. Her drawings right now are... Just plain cute, but she draws because it gives her a medium of feeling less lonely. With being able to draw representations of her parents and her 'doing' different things, it makes it seem as though they are with her sometimes and not gone overseas.

Collecting Stuffed Animals – What child doesn’t like toys, right? She loves collecting stuffed animals; specifically, stuffed elephants. The one gift that she brought over from France was the toy she was given at birth, which was a large stuffed elephant that was even bigger than her at birth. Even when carrying it now, the poor little guy’s tail reaches the floor. She named him Elephant and then went to collect others. However, Elephant is the only one you’d see being carried around all over the place by Aquene (either in her arms or her backpack).

Badminton - To get her to be more active, her nanny introduced her to badminton. At first, Aquene was annoyed that her hand-eye coordination sucked, but since she first picked up a racket at the age of 6, she can... sort of hit/play. Not knowing if she'd ever get better at the sport, she continues for the sake of doing something active (since other sports don't appeal to her much).

Virtues:
Purposefulness – In her early life, she had no ability to help others when she was alongside her parents. She felt kind of useless since so many people around her was supposed to help her, not the other way around. Aquene is young, but she's passed by with her parents many different people that seemed so much more sad compared to her. She wants to give people something a little bit more in their life, whether it be a thank you for someone that helped her do something small, or a hug for someone that needs to be cheered up. Her life isn't perfect, but she does want to celebrate happy emotions with those that are willing.

Humbleness - When she lived in France with her parents, her parents made sure that people knew of their wealth and they had to be well protected because of that. Once Aquene was in the United States, she didn't want people to know; she didn't want to be followed around by bodyguards. She told her nanny that she wanted 'normal' people clothes and wanted to be treated like a 'normal' little girl. Whenever she got compliments on anything, like her effort in school or her day to day outfits, she would blush, look down, and thank the person with a little bow. Aquene would also find some sort of compliment for the person, even if it came down to being something silly.

Acceptance - WTF WAS I THINKING?!

Flaws:
Emotionally withdrawn – THIS ONE SUCKS TOO.

Absent-minded – I REREAD AND I DON'T LIKE THE EXPLANATION.

SOMEFINGHURR~ -

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Olive shaped, blue-green eyes, they kind of hide some sort of secret in them, and can sometimes be seen with an extra sparkle, like... She knows you don't know and isn't about to tell!

Hair: Curly, brown hair with natural lighter brown highlights. Half of her hair is pinned up on right side of her head in back (would look like the left side to us). The hair pinned up is curlier than the locks hanging down. Her bangs are long and curly.

Face: Heart-shaped, delicate nose, lips, and ears. Most of her features are small and dainty, minus her eyes. I would, however, like her tongue sticking out!

Clothes: Anything that is cute, but not expensive looking. Big bows are a plus…. And things that are candy/sweets related. She also enjoys dresses that go to just under her knee (not above!). Also, staying true to her name, she likes hats!  

[ATh e a r t]

Senshi: Sailor Chibi Mirabeau, Chibi Senshi of Peppermint
=> Asteroid; original page found was here ( need to Ctrl+F )
=> Wiki-page here.

Challenge: I’ll make you minty fresh!

Fuku Colour:
Main Color: Mint Green
Secondary Color: The red on the far right

Fuku:
Collar -- The 'petticoat' is like the collar... not sure how to explain it, but if it does not suffice, a collar can always be added to the petticoat-like thing!
Bow -- Front left side (Her left, our right), bow keeps the collar/petticoat and skirt in place.
Bodice -- White, just a simple wrap around the chest. Long collar/Short petticoat that has sleeves attached
Sleeves – N/A
Brooch -- Silver leaf attached to the bow in front.
Bottoms -- Skirt that starts from right under her chest (meaning above her belly) and goes until just under the knees.
Tiara – Circular tiara that would be flat on her head, silver in color, jewels that look like little round candies (Rubies) attached to the front (like ref?)
Choker -- Red Choker with mint-leaf pendant
Shoes – Ballet Flats with ribbon up laces
Gloves -- Red with frilly edges, silver cuffs to hold them in place
Accessories -- Mint leaves attached to the part of her hair that is pinned up
( All Colors on Reference )




Attacks:

Sailor Scout Attack: Mirabeau Mint Refresh!
- Claps hands together and glows a red and white
- Opens her hand and there are 2-3 glowing peppermint candies
- Is eaten to sharpen the mind and senses
- Improves accuracy for anyone who eats it (even Negas... But how would they get it?!) [ Physical attacks, Ranged attacks ]
- Mirabeau can eat up to two, other people only 1
- Power up lasts 30 seconds - 1 minute; Can only be used once per battle

Super Sailor Scout Attack: Mirabeau Mint Explosion!
- Claps hands together and then brings them out, palm face up; glowing red and white
- On her open palms falls 3-5 candies (doesn't matter which hand; could be 1 on one palm and 3 on the other, etc.)
- Is eaten to sharpen the mind and senses of ORDER side only (increases accuracy, physical attacks, ranged attacks, etc)
- When eaten by CHAOS, takes like poop
- Mirabeau can eat up to two, other people only 1
- Power up lasts 45 seconds - 1 minute; Can only be used once per battle

Eternal Sailor Attack: Mirabeau Mint Radiation!
- Is an enchantment spell (buff/debuff)
- Mirabeau's hands are clasped together with her eyes closed, like praying standing up
- large circle area that glows red/white (like a giant peppermint candy)
- 5 feet radius around Mirabeau
- If Senshi, gives a focus boost as long as they're inside the circle
- If Negaverse, relaxes them and slows down reaction time
- Lasts one minute
- Can be used Once per battle  

[ATh e a r t]

Civilian - Dress Style || Dress colors

Open for crits Cx <3

 

[LP]

*edit2* because I'm in a just jump in and get-er-done mood I forgot something else.....*/edit2* sweatdrop

Hi totally glad to see someone else questing for a chibi, we need more chibi senshi and look forward to having you aboard.... soo lets get to the nitty gritty shall we?

Age - SOO I noticed you were open for Cirt. First off the biggest thing I noticed is that she is age 6. I'm sorry love but the bar minimum age limit for chibi senshi is about 8 or 9. Any younger and they're just too young to fight, you'll want to bump that up please, and yes I realize that the info thread says that they start at age 6 for knightside.... but really they can only officially be a chibi senshi at age 8.

Civilian Name - Where is her civilian name from? Does it have a meaning. I'm sorry but often times I look at these for a characters background and go "does this make sense"? Where was she born? In France?

Something to think about as far as readability goes you may want to hit an extra enter in between your paragraphs so we can tell where one hobby/virtue/flaw/etc ends and the next one begins. This is honestly hard to read for me because my eyes skip lines and if that space is there minds are less likely to get lost.

Hobbies - Honestly for me, as a kid, the arts while you're using it to mean music also includes jewelry making. It is an art, and I feel these two hobbies should be combined. Also when you're writing hobbies please try to think of something she can do with others. A lot of the written hobbies in her profile are solo hobbies, it's nothing to give another character something to do with her. Yeah sure they might make jewelry together but is that really the only thing they can do? I realize shes' a kid and kids don't have as much variety as adults do however I'm sure you can think of something else Aquene can do that would include others.

Virtues - Over all her virtues are unfortunately pretty weak. Puppy eyes = sickeningly cute to me. It's not really a virtue, and oh you poor thing isn't either it's basically god moding to know what another character is feeling.

Virtues are literally what the character is about. Sickeningly cute doesn't quite cute the mustard.

dictionary.com

vir·tue
   [vur-choo] Show IPA
–noun
1. moral excellence; goodness; righteousness.
2. conformity of one's life and conduct to moral and ethical principles; uprightness; rectitude.

That being said I think this link will help you a ton. Seriously what you want to do is find something that fits her, describes her and helps her in every day life. If she was helpful how does she help, how helpful is she, does she only get in the way? Don't just describe why, why is a part of it, but we need to see HER too. Try to think what's realistic for your chibi senshi, that won't be god-moding and squicky. A lot of times "a leader", "protective" and things like that can go either way.... and often "charismatic" is a very op virtue. So when you're writing you want to be careful not to tell us how other people think and try to avoid 'automatically drawn to her' type things as these get kind of weird.

For Oh you poor thing something to consider is being empathetic towards others. This isn't as bad as puppy eyes as it's actually usable after you reword and it and remove the fact that she has an "ability".

Flaws - You have a ... decent start here. However these make her sound older than she is. You list her as six, but six year old's don't really know anything about wealth, they're more of "I want it" doesn't matter what it costs, doesn't matter what it does. They don't quite grasp the concept of money or hiding pain. Something along the lines of nine or ten may have that concept but they won't have it as well as a 13 or 14 year old. Try to think about what age demographic that you are trying to go for and try to work with that in mind. I know it's hard when a lot of us haven't been kids in AGES but it's not that bad.

Physical appearance
Something else that bothers me is that you say her eyes are emotionless.... that's honestly pretty hard even if someone's face is a rock that never smiles or constantly had this =| expression going on normally eyes show /some/ emotion.

Again with the clothing if shes' six she doesn't know what wealth is, she sorta dresses in whatever her parents buy her. Which occasionally might be something she likes however, until I would say about age 9 or 10 you're parents pretty well have a say in what your dressed in so if they think it's too skimpy or too short they'll say no (actually until you're old enough for your parents to let you shop on you're own, unless they're heartless and don't show they care they'll still tell you no that's not appropriate.) So again Try to be realistic.

Senshi - I know you haven't started on that but you'll want to link your space object asap as we don't know if Mirabeau actually exists without a link for proof.

Also since she's a school kid, if you get civilian art of her, it will likely be in her School uniform, unless you win her in a customs and you buy her "everyday" clothing.

*edit*

ALSO totally seriously if you're confused look at other profiles. Look at those that exist in the powered and non-powered character sections and the accepted quest forum that might help you understand how quests are set up and what's normally approved, look through those cirts as well in the accepted quest forum. I promise you won't be disappointed and as always if you're unsure about something feel free to ask us and chat in the thread. =3 We love newbies and love to help them succeed.  

[zippedsiren]

Hi!

It's nice to see more chibi senshi being quested (as an owner of one, I kinda appreciate it, because it'll mean more eventual friends for my own character <3 haha, totall selfish I know.)

ANYWAYS. I'm more leaving just a note, because I don't have much more to say than LP did (on whose points I generally agree).

But! I actually think that music and art, like painting, should be separate hobbies. And you may not want to have both. Hobbies should be things that your character likes doing and is skilled at. On that, I don't think it's appropriate for a young kid (6 is WAY too young) to be playing both the piano and the flute. The piano is totally an acceptable hobby for a young kid, since kids learn that all the time.

The flute on the other hand... First off (and I am speaking from experience, as I started to learn the flute at 11-ish), the flute is a really difficult instrument to learn. (I also assume that you do mean the classical flute and not a recorder). It requires a lot of precision, in both motor skills and ability to form the right shape with your lips. And long arms are sort of necessary to reach all the keys. A strong lung capacity is also necessary. I just don't believe that at 6.. (or really even 8 ) a child would have the physical capabilities that are needed to play that instrument. I would suggest that you start Aquene off on learning the piano and maybe the recorder. The recorder is usually an instrument that's pretty common for kids to learn, so it seems like a good substitute for the flute.  

[ATh e a r t]

Thanks to the both of you 8D!

I shall work on this later because I have to do laundry but i felt bad not responding XD

Edit - Response to some XD

Age shall be changed ^w^; Though for her clothes and such... Since I haven't put this in yet, she doesn't live with her parents but just a maid XD; Her parents are busy working overseas and decided just to leave her in one place. o.o  

[LP]

Maid's a no go At. For her age that would be abandonment and a whole slew of other charges, unless the Maid is also a Nanny and certified in Child care. This is set in a realistic setting, you have baby sitters for over night things or a day or something.... Nannies to basically watch the kids while the parents are too busy to work. But a Child left in a care of a Maid would end up in the counts of: Child Endangerment, Child Abandonment, Negligence, etc. The parents would have the book thrown at them. Please think realistically, if you were this age your parents would not leave you in the care of some stranger that just cleans house.  

[Remove]

A maid would only work if she was left as legal guardian - it would mean she would have to be well looked after and stuff but she would have to be the legal guardian at the time, which I believe could be made possible but you would have to look into it ^^  

[ATh e a r t]

Ooops XD Wrong word. Yeah she'd be a nanny. Also debating whether or not to think of a profile for her too.

Pretty sure there's nothing against a Negaverse and and Scout living together, right? XD
(and they wouldn't know it, of course)

Sorry guys. I think I fail at this x.x...  

[LP]

It's fine, and yes a nega and a senshi can live under the same roof it's happened. It just gets to be weird... >>;;; Like does the nega get someone to baby sit the kid or? XD;  

[ATh e a r t]

I just think it would be funny. I think of those movies like... Mr. and Mrs. Smith where they magically appear at the same time and stuff XD

/shall work on revising things today/ Cx

Edit; Added the links to Mirabeau being an asteroid!  

[ATh e a r t]

Okay! Ready for crits on the changes! I think I changed a lot (and if you don't feel like giving more crits... That's understandable as well)!

<3;

edit; added civilian appearance as well as attempted sailor scout uniform... xD

Still clueless about possible attacks though o.o;  

[Blue Eyed Melloon]

As far as attacks go, you first have to decide if you want to have a Defensive, Healing or Offensive Attack. Then you can start searching for something that is viable for the peppermint sphere.

I did some research, and found that peppermint has qualities that could be used for all three.
research showed that peppermint acts through a specific anti-pain channel called TRPM8 to reduce pain sensing fibres

So maybe she could summon a salve that takes away the pain of a wound? Or maybe even numb a part of the body?

Some authors reported that the plant may induce hepatic diseases (liver disease), while others found that it protects against liver damage that is caused by heavy metals

Maybe she can create a shield to protect an ally, or throw peppermint leaves at an enemy. When it hits them, they feel ill (maybe the symptoms of liver disease. you would have to list them of course)

The aroma of peppermint has been found to enhance memory.... it has been known to help with insomnia.

Another website said that One small study suggested that peppermint applied to the forehead and temples helped reduce headache symptoms.

Just some things to get your brain workin about attacks. I hope it helped ^_^  

[Iris_virus]

I would be VERY careful if you do decide to try for healing (in fact I would completely suggest avoiding it and going for offense or defense)... This quest is already pretty close to the chibi senshi of herbs since peppermint is indeed an herb. And the senshi of herbs has healing attacks that summons some herbs that heal teammates (eventually her attack will also call forth bad herbs that give rashes but I know peppermint doesn't do that sooo, that's not as worrisome).  

[ATh e a r t]

Thanks for the ideas! <3 Shall definitely get my gears going when i wake up Cx

Though I have to admit, i think it would probably be a healing attack. Makes most sense to me Cx