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As the commentators are busy discussing the upcoming third match on the Wrestlemania card, Take My Life suddenly blasts it's way onto the titantron, abruptly interrupting them. It's the entrance music for Jimmy Monera... The screaming crowd is quite well aware of this... But something's different. Instead of a wall of white pyrotechnics shooting down in front of the catwalk, Jimmy Monera... Clad in his street clothes... walks out, with a briefcase in one hand, and the hand of a pretty young chestnut-haired woman grasped in the other.

Halfway down the ramp, Jimmy stops, and forms the crucifix on his body, as the woman who's accompanying him smiles and blows kisses to the crowd with her free hand. The pyrotechnics go off the second Jimmy raises his hand, briefcase held in the air for all to see.

As they get to the apron at ringside, Jimmy hands the briefcase to his valet, planting a quick, sweet kiss on her lips. She takes the briefcase, still smiling, and climbs up the steps, while Jimmy fishes under the ring. After a moment, he pulls out what he was looking for- A typical WWF table. He slides it into the ring, diving in after it, to the ring where his valet is waiting for him. He sets up the table on the far side of the ring, and takes a microphone from a stagehand. with one last knowing glance at his valet, he raises said microphone to his lips.

"Yesterday, at approximately 6 PM, Eastern standard time, one of the biggest events in human history... Didn't take place." The audience gives him a mixed reaction, to his reference towards the failed Rapture prophecy. "For many of us, particularly those of us who believed, this was initially a very disappointing moment... I mean, there it was, our opportunity to leave this Earth en masse, and take our place by the side of the lord almighty. But the time we were foretold came and went, and we're still here, on this mortal plane."

He pauses, to less of a reaction than he was expecting. "But for others, this mainly uneventful day came as a relief... I am, of course, referring to those of you out there who treated the promised rapture as some sort of world-wide disaster. You were afraid, and understandably so, because you knew that when judgement day came, you knew you would be judged as unworthy. Like a 550 pound man who lives in fear of a heartattack claiming his life, you had no intention of putting down the metaphorical cheeseburger, you just sat there on your asses hoping that the fate you'd earned for yourselves would pass you by. Let me tell you something... Living in fear of the consequences of your actions, without making any attempt to change them, is just the most pathetic ways a person can possibly live."

The heat from the crowd is almost overbearing, as the WWF audience continues to scream at Jimmy, who's not only criticizing them right to their faces, but stalling the show they paid to see. "I could stand here and insult all of you spineless drones for hours, and I don't think I'd mind doing it, but I'm here tonight for a more constructive purpose. Yes, there was no rapture yesterday, but the fact still remains that there will still be one... Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe ten years from now. I'm standing here to tell you... The WWF universe... That it's never too late to seek salvation, just like it's never too late to find salvation. And tonight, on the grandest stage of them all, I'm here to offer you salvation."

He turns, and motions to the young woman he came to the ring with. "Later tonight, I'll be taking home the money in the bank briefcase. But I went ahead and brought a far more crucial briefcase to the ring with me. If you'd be so kind, please turn your attention to one of the two most important mortal beings in my life, my fiancee, Miss Natalie Roth."

Her identity finally revealed to the audience, Natalie Roth places Jimmy's briefcase on the table that he'd set up, and opens it up, taking out several items to spread out on the table. There's a bible, several packets of paper, and five sealed glass bottles of water.

"Using the funds generously donated to me by wrestling fans over the years, I've bought out as much time as I need to take the meaningless, sinful lives you're all living, and turn them onto the right path. So starting now, with the help of my beautiful assistant, I'm going to be performing cost free, obligation free, officially sanctioned baptisms on anybody within earshot who wants one. Be you a member of the audience, or a member of the WWF locker room, come to the ring as soon as you're ready, and I will happily set you on the path to glory."

Jimmy waits in the ring, Natalie hanging back by the turnbuckle, as he awaits any volunteer... Even one... To step out into the ring with him.

Grinning from ear to ear, Jimmy turns his attention to the crowd, with his free hand motioning dramatically towards Angel. "And we have our first volunteer!" The audience boos harder, at the prospect of Angel actually taking Jimmy up on his offer. They clearly know him better than Jimmy does.
He then turns slightly, so he can address Natalie. "Darling, would you be so kind as to grab a chair for our guest?" Natalie nods, and steps out under the top rope, taking the steps down to the commentator's area.

"There is only one path to salvation," Jimmy announces, once again towards the crowd. "It isn't laughing at the prospect of the rapture... It isn't hording a basement full of non-perishable food... It isn't building a bomb shelter... It isn't coming up with forty diverse zombie apocalypse survival plans. It's the path that this brave, righteous man before me has chosen to pursue."

Natalie slides a steel chair in under the bottom rope, and as she makes her way back into the ring, Jimmy grabs up the chair, unfolds it, and places it in front of the table. "Well," he begins, finally addressing Angel. "Before we get started, would you like to introduce yourself to the fans in the arena, and also to the millions watching at home?"

((You don't appear to have a profile up for this wrestler. Care to post one?))

The crowd cheers, hearing Angel speak for the first time in such a long while... And not only was he finally back in front of them, but his first words in the WWF ring were being used to shut up the preachy b*****d who was holding up their show.
Jimmy wipes the smirk off of his face, which had appeared there precisely when Angel referred to himself as "the most controversial man to set foot in the WWF ring." Anybody who'd make such a claim, especially out loud, was obviously trying to hard to get themselves over.

"Worry about myself?" Jimmy responded, repeating Angel's question to him. "I hate to break it to you, rookie, but I don't think I even understand your question. I don't need to worry about myself. Not even close. I've spent the last ten years serving the lord, as his avatar, as the prophet of his divine message. I know exactly where I'm going when my time comes... I'm worrying about these people, and yourself, because that's who NEEDS to be worried over."

Behind him, his fiancee claps, as he motions to his chair. "Now, enough of this nonsense. Are you here to have your soul saved, or aren't you?"

Despite the expectations of Angel... And of the majority of the audience... Jimmy Monera breaks out in a wide, toothy grin. It's unclear whether he's amused, or losing his grip on his sanity. He begins to chuckle, and he turns away from Angel, covering his mouth with his free hand. With his other hand, the one clutching his microphone, he raises one finger to the audience, indicating that it'll be a minute before he's ready to talk again. Natalie watches this, confused enough to temporarily forget how offended she'd been by Angel's comments.

"I couldn't help but notice," Jimmy starts, as he turns back around to face Angel, "that you're accusing me of judging these people." With those words, he gestures behind him to the audience. "To judge someone is to point out something about them, and make an inference about them based on it. I never said anything like that to these people. I simply said that the Godless lives some of them are living will lead them down the path to hell... That's not a judgement, it's pointing out an obvious fact. It's like saying 'the grass is green,' 'the sky is blue,' or 'that lame, over-gelled pincushion of a hairdo makes you look like a complete douchebag.'"

He pauses, as his last comment actually drew a reluctant round of laughter from the crowd. "The ironic thing is, and I'm not sure if you even realize this, is that you're the one out here judging me. You're making groundless assumptions about me, you're insulting a woman you don't even know, and even though you say you serve the lord, regardless of what you may think of me, you're actually preventing me from offering people help on his behalf. I don't know exactly what kind of person you think you are, and I don't know how many low-quality matches you've had here, but regardless of what the answer to either question is, I don't see anything but a whiny, selfish, green-behind-the-ears little complex-ridden b***h standing in front of me. And THAT'S me being judgmental."

He moves in closer to Angel, until they're basically nose and nose. "I'm a forgiving man. Say what you want about me, but there's no way I'm letting the comments you made about the love of my life slide. I'm going to give you one chance to get your rookie a** out of this ring, before I SHOW you the most controversial man in the WWF."

There's a distinct difference between being angry and being fired up. The punch to Jimmy's temple connects, and he immediately responds by aiming one of his own.

((One punch, which I've already recovered from, and you think he's dazed enough for that move to work? Not everybody subscribes to WWE logic.))

Jimmy waits for Angel to wind him up for the Irish whip before he plants his feet, and attempts to elbow his opponent in the head with his free arm.

((Weight isn't everything. Leverage can be a wrestler's best friend.
Besides, half of an Irish whip depends on the participation of the victim.))

Jimmy signals to Natalie to get out of the ring, which she does, reluctantly. He picks up one of the glass bottles of water that he'd set out earlier... His baptismal water, of course... And rushes Angel, attempting to break it over his head.