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 Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 7:59 pm
For starters, here are some facts:
1. I am without a girl friend who I can talk to, and rant to, so I've been most likely bottling things up, so it may be a factor.
2. I used to be depressed for about 3.5 years, but just this year around mid-November, I completely switched from sad, depressed me to happy, colorful me. (I don't know if it has anything to do with it or not)
3. I am on birth control pills, but I don't think they're the problem.
I'm getting angry with my boyfriend of almost a year and a half more frequently then usual. I mean, I'm angry with him about the stupidest things that I normally would play along with, or wouldn't find bothersome at all. Today, for instance, I was upset about him playing a game of tag with our friends, and normally I wouldn't give a crap if he did or not. I mean, it's just tag. And then after school he went shopping for his birthday present with his parents, and when I asked what he got, he said "Nothing lol", which for him, usually means, "I got something, but I'm not gonna tell you". Most often then not, I would love to get it out of him, but I'm just getting tired of it, and it bothers me because I love trying to get something out of him.
I don't outright fight with him; not the whole dramatic scene of throwing a huge fit, because it's just not me, but I'll be inwardly upset with him, and I'll give him the semi-silent treatment and talk minimally to him, and I hate it because I know I'm doing it, but I just feel upset when I know I shouldn't be.
And within this year and a half, we've basically been in the 'honeymoon' stage the whole time. There was never a day that I can possibly remember where I wasn't with him, but maybe that's the problem. Am I just wanting space, or is there something more to it? I honestly don't want space, but maybe it's just want I need.
Or I just need a best friend again. I don't know, but that's why I'm asking.
If you would like more of an explanation I'd be happy to explain more.
Thank you. I appreciate it. (:
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2011 11:32 am
You are the apple...
Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on any of this, since I'm kind of in a hurry and dont have time to fully research this but: If i remember correctly, the birth control pills keep your body in pregnancy mode, or at least making it think you're still on your period, which would cause a major emotional change. So that could be part of it.
Have you apologized for your outbursts? Depending on the severity of them, it could be affecting him and putting a strain on your relationship. If this hasnt been brought up, I encourage you to bring it up. Dont just go like "OMG Im soooo sorry, please dont break up with me!", but talk to him about it; see if/how your anger issues are affecting him. Being your boyfriend, I'm sure he'd be happy to help you get to the bottom of this.
If you need someone to talk to/rant to, I'm always willing to listen to any problems you may be having. Feel free to PM me anytime, or if you have an MSN/Yahoo/AIM account, we can talk on their as well; just PM me your screenname.
and I am your core.
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Posted: Thu May 19, 2011 6:31 pm
1. Do you have a dog? They tend to be very good listeners. They might not have the best advice for your problems but they will always be happy to give you a slobbery kiss on the face. They might not understand your words but they know your voice, and talking will make them more friendly.
2. Well, you could have bipolar 2 disorder. My ex-girlfriend had that. She'd have manic episodes followed by long bouts of depression coupled with chronic headaches.
3. Side effects to birth control have been mood swings and depression.
That first one, you may be upset you weren't included in the game. It might not be the obvious thought that came to your mind when you observed them, but maybe some part of you hated him for ostracizing you.
The second one is pretty normal. I don't consider myself a very angry person, but one of my pet peeves was my girlfriend sort of hinting she wanted to tell me something and then never telling me, no matter how much I said to just tell me. Don't try and find something to fight about if you want to have a big fight to clear the air. That's the sign of self-victimization.
My girlfriend gave me the semi-silent treatment. It drove me into depression and made me wonder what I was doing wrong, constantly. Also, don't say you "should" or "shouldn't" do something. Those statements are always false from a psychological aspect. There are no real morals or universal laws commanding you to not be a b***h to your boyfriend.
A best friend isn't someone you should rant to or complain with. You can't rely on other people to be a sponge for your tears. Not because that's a bad thing to have a shoulder to cry on. It's because people are often unreliable, and it's not a very friendship booster to need to let out your feelings by talking to someone for a long time.
Now, that's just me, and I'm a man. Men don't really cry manly tears with other men. Men are allowed to cry manly tears during the "Jurassic Bark" episode of Futurama, the death scene of Mufasa in The Lion King, and the part when he had to kill his own dog in I Am Legend, but very few other times is a man allowed to cry. Otherwise a fellow man will give him a hard slap to the face and reminding him he needs to man up. And that's what we do.
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