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Poetry is what gets lost in translation ~Robert Frost~ 

Tags: poetry, writting, lyrics, haiku, poem 

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Kiba Neko

PostPosted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:41 pm


Stars clear cold in the midnight blue sky
Blades of grass bow heavy with dew in the full dark field
Leaves of autumn colors float lazily in the crisp brisk wind
Rain long since gone leaves its refreshing scent behind

Stand in the middle
Watching fireflies dance
Listen to the cool wind brush through the grass
Causing it to ripple
Breathe in deeply
Taking in the cold air tasting the rain
Close your eyes
Let your mind wander in the quiet night

Feel them with you
The one person who meant the most to you
The one who dies before their time
Wrap their arms around you and hold you gently
For the first time you feel safe, secure

Only to find, when you open your eyes,
It's not them holding you, but someone different
Someone who has been there through it all by your side
You smile, leaning into their arms feeling more secure

Feeling two sets of arms around you
PostPosted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 9:00 pm


Very self-explanatory, not the type of poem to be all mysterious and vague. It tells a story, obviously, one that could be shared by many who have lost loved ones. I felt a very good connection with this poem. I like that you didn't restrict yourself to rhyme, and the format.
The poem had a good feel to it, and I liked it.

Kleopatra Selene


LunarHybrid
Captain

PostPosted: Mon May 02, 2011 12:41 pm


Although the first stanza didn't seem to flow as well as the last two stanzas, I liked how you used colors to describe the imaginary in the first stanza and size to emphasize the emotion in the second.
PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2011 3:48 pm


Thank you both for the reply, it means a lot I wrote it for my girlfriend to show her that i'm not here to replace her brother who passed, but merely hold her as well.

Kiba Neko

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[[POETRY]] - {{Misc.}}

 
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