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 Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:05 pm
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Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:09 pm
Name : Purnima Dasari
Nicknames : Nim, Purr (so far only her brothers are brave enough to call her this)
Origin of name : Indian
Meaning : Purnima means "the night or day of the full moon"
Gender : Female
Age : 16
Alliance : Noble
Path : Warrior
Personality :
{Passionate} -
Yes this does mean she can be over emotional or overly dramatic when it comes to things she loves and what she believes in. She is not afraid of the ridicule that might come from opposing beliefs or opinions, though don't expect her to sit around and keep her peace, remaining silent. Nope. Purnima will argue her points the best she can in the small hope that someone might understand and see things in a similar light. But don't confuse this as her preaching and trying to gain followers. That is not what she means to do when trying to express how she feels about a given situation, the exception being how she feels towards those that still show their loyalty to the Emperor. Purnima sees those of the Legion as being 'hidebound' and unable to think for themselves, as they must rely on a ruler that pulls invisible strings controlling them.
{Ambitious} -
Sort of hand in hand with her passionate side, Purnima is also a very ambitious woman. She knows that just wishing or feeling strongly about something won't get the job done. You have to take that extra step to achieve your goals. She won't easily take 'No' for an answer until she has tried, tried, and tried one more time. Even then, she won't give up completely.
{Meticulous} -
This particular trait really comes out when Purnima is dealing with her flowers. She is very careful to keep them watered and fed just the right amount, very rarely over-watering them. When trimming leaves, she takes her time and cuts the stems right at the base. Though not quite as apparent as when she is working with her flowers, Purnima does let this trait roll into her care of what her appearance is. Usually the small little things, such as jewelery, ribbons, secondary colors don't clash with her main outfit. All of these she pays attention to when getting ready to leave her home for the day.
{Judgmental} -
Purnima has a very bad habit of instantly assuming that someone who is loyal to the Emperor is nothing but a brainless dog. So hidebound and afraid of change! She doesn't tend to give Legionaries a chance, strongly disliking them on the spot. It is very rare to find her willingly putting herself in the company of those associated with the Legion. She also will frown upon fellow Nobles who start to believe that perhaps remaining loyal to the Emperor is the best choice, and that the Noble's belief of a better, far less strict rule was blasphemy. Obviously, they couldn't handle the pressure of fighting for what was a good cause. The fools!
{Paranoid} -
Ever since she was a little girl, her mother had been burning lightly scented incense to 'chase away' the spirits at night. At the time, little Purnima really thought that is what the incense was for. Now however, she has learned that her mother burned the incense as an offering to the Goddess to protect them through the night. Her mother was also a firm believer in Evil and made sure to never do anything that could inevitably invite Evil into their home. As a result, Purnima has to make damn sure that every night, she burns a small stick of incense, places a white candle next to her bed, and sends a silent word of thanks up to the Goddess. If she misses any of these steps, or sleeps outside of her comfort zone (meaning her home), she gets nervous and clingy and tends to overreact to small things. Purnima is definitely not one to spend a night with outside of a house.
☽Interesting Quirks~She has a small flower bed where she grows Cymbidium orchids of various colors. Yes she likes flowers. Don't judge her! And no, it is not because she is a girl. She just likes flowers. Purnima is also known for making small laurels for the little kids that run around the streets. Now, if only she could get Naoki to stop trying to eat her flowers.
Also, she lovingly spoils her best friend, a pet lemur. Naoki has a sweet tooth and Purnima, thanks to her cousin Gita, has learned to bake small sweet pastries. At first this was only something she would do for Naoki and her younger brother, but as she discovered how much she enjoyed it, she has begun working with Gita on weekends to bake goods and sell them at the market.☽Likes~Tending to her little garden. NAOKI, DUH. Soft and relaxing scents. The sound of wind chimes. The rare occasions her whole family enjoys a meal together. Cooking sweet treats with Gita.☽Dislikes~Legion boys...err, THE LEGION. Seeing her younger brother blame himself for things out of his control. Her flowers getting trampled. Or eaten by Naoki (this doesn't happen often thankfully). Being outdoors late at night.☽Appearance~ Skin Tone : Light almost pale
Body Style : Lean with light muscle
Hair Color/Style : A deep plum purple that is long and slightly wavy in length but tends to be worn up in a loose messy bun, sort of like this. Maybe some beads can be worked in to the pieces that hang free of bun? (Artistic freedom <33 )
Eye Color : Golden
Clothing Description : A kimono dress about this length but in maroon and dark red colors and black fishnet leggings. Maybe some sort of moon design on the kimono itself? Pretty open to artists interpretation on outfit! ^^
Accessory Description : Does a lemur count as an accessory? |D
Unique Attributes : Has a tattoo sort of like these that goes down one side of her face.
Notes? :
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Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:19 pm
Their family run business hit a low point when the family suffered a hard loss in the form of Purnima's mother, Nisha, after the birth of her younger brother. Her father suffered the most at the loss of his mate and his health began to decline. It got bad enough to the point her uncle Pradip and cousins moved in to help. Uncle Pradip had lost his own wife to illness, though he had never been very close to her and therefore didn't suffer as much as her father did with the loss. But her uncle was a big help and encouraged the kids to put forth double effort and get the business running again. It took them about two years, but finally Dasari Paper was back up and running. Her father, unfortunately, has never fully recovered from the loss of Nisha and has become addicted to alcoholic drink.
When her uncle moved in, so did his beliefs and feelings about the Legion. Granted, her family already disagreed with the Legion and frowned upon the Emperors continuous reign. He hated how selfishly hidebound they were. How they couldn't even think for themselves. Uncle Pradip was no stranger to his silver tipped tongue getting him into trouble. After the first several warnings against his behavior, and an added plea from her older brother Kishen, Uncle Pradip started to watch what he said and who he said it to. But he never ceased to prattle on and on to his kids, niece and nephews. As a result, Purnima and her younger brother picked up his attitude and feelings about the Legion and their Emperor.
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Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:22 pm
Name: Bhaskara - [means "shining", derived from a combination of Sanskrit (bhasa) "light" and (kara) "making"]
About: A kind, caring, and loving father/husband. He was a proud man who had pride in his business of paper making, even though it wasn't the best of businesses out there. When his wife, Nisha, didn't survive the birth of their third child, Bhaskara took the loss hard, falling into depression. He has never fully recovered from this and is now considered and alcoholic.
{Mother // Deceased}
Name: Nisha - [means "night"]
About: They always said she had one of the sweetest smiles and that was why they sold so much paper. But that wasn't the real reason why. Nisha didn't know the real answer, but she was always right there supporting her husband with the family business. No one could quite make the lightly floral scented papers like Nisha could. Her daughter was a close second and a good learner. When she became pregnant with her third child, her body just couldn't handle it.
{Older Brother}
Name: Kishen - [Modern form of 'Krishna', which means "black, dark"]
About: Being the oldest male child of the family could be tough, but Kishen did this job well. Especially when his father fell into a deep depression when their mother died. Kishen was there to do what his father couldn't manage and kept their household in order. Or as much order as a young adult could. He and Purnima are close to one another and aided each other in the daily tasks that used to fall upon their parents. The stress Kishen underwent lessened once his uncle came to live with the family and help out.
{Younger Brother}
Name: Indra - [means "possessing drops of rain"]
About: The youngest of the family, Indra never got to know his mother or his father in his prime years. All he has ever known is the depressed alcoholic he sees every day. The effect this has had on the boy has made him shy and quiet. Indra is very uncomfortable around crowds and very clingy to his big sister and brother as well as his cousins.
{Uncle}
Name: Pradip - [means "light, lantern"]
About: Brother to Bhaskara, Pradip came to his brother's aid when his younger sibling needed him the most. Several years prior, Pradip had lost his own wife to illness that he blamed the Legion for. If they had been allowed to seek help from outside, she might have survived (or so his mind tells him)! He hates the Legion and their Emperor because of this.
{Cousin}
Name: Gita - [means "song"]
About: Though not much older than Purnima, Gita become the 'woman' of the house when her mother passed away. She took up the responsibility of preparing meals for her father and brother, cleaning clothes and homely chores. Even the task of baking bread and pastries to sell at the market. She is very mature and her father and brother endlessly appreciate how hard she has worked to help maintain the family. She'll never say it out loud, but she was very relieved to move in with her uncle and cousins, for once getting the chance to experience a young adult life. And for having another female to relate to in the form her her cousin, Purnima.
{Cousin}
Name: Madhu - [means "sweet, honey"]
About: The same age as Purnima, Madhu hasn't adjusted to life living with his uncle and cousins as well as his father and sister. He has an attitude and always seems to argue with Kishen. He's not very good at sharing his feelings and has a bad habit of sneaking out at night to go satisfy his cravings, whether that be drink, gambling, or women.
☽The Lemur~ Naoki______________________________________________
The loss of her mother had been hard to deal with. Having to watch her father slowly fall into such a deep depression was almost equally hard. There were times when all she and her brothers were able to do was sit back and watch him suffer. But even this became more difficult as it became a daily occurrence. It did nothing good for her youngest brother either. He started to feel it was his fault, no matter what Purnima and Kishen told him. On those nights, Purnima usually couldn't stand to let the men of her household see her lose it. She would go out in the early evening (never too late or else her paranoia would kick in to ultra drive), while it was still fairly light out, just to walk along the roads and gather her thoughts.
It was during one of those evenings, after a particularly hard day with her father drinking himself into a stupor, that Purnima came across a soft, pitiful mewling sound. Following the sound, Purnima discovered a small, shivering bundle of fur. It was so dirty and had an injured leg. She almost left it there, not wanting to take on another creature's troubles. But she couldn't do it. Kneeling down she scooped up the little furball into her arms and felt her heart melt as it curled into the crook of her arm. She took the bundle inside and showed her oldest brother, Kishen. Together to two cleaned up the creature and fed it. Once cleaned, Purnima discovered her find was a lemur. It was so small and adorable and just wanted to cling. And it made the most cutest sounds! Then Indra (her youngest brother) snuck into the room and declared the lemur be named 'Naoki'.
Three years later and Naoki was the most spoiled lemur around. He is Purnima's closest friend. When she is having a bad day, Naoki is always there to rub against her cheek and make his little chirp like noises for a cookie. She loves the little devil to death. Even if he has a outrageous sweet tooth.
Naoki is also very protective of Purnima. It tends to catch people off guard when a lemur growls at you, long fluffy tail swishing in a threatening manner. He thinks he's a little guard dog. Neither Purnima, nor any of her brothers, try to dissuade Naoki of this notion. Especially not her brother Kishen, who is quite happy to know that there is someone looking after his younger sister when he can't - not that she needs it.
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Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:26 pm
☽Allegiance~Purnima believes those of the Legion to be hidebound fools that can't think clearly for themselves and fear change. She is wary of how long the Emperor has reigned for, and still continues to reign with no signs of any new leadership emerging. They needed a new ruler. Someone less strict. Someone that wasn't afraid to drop the vale and allow contact with the outside world. Lunarian's couldn't grow if they had to suffer the disease of never changing.☽Fighting Ability~Magic Type:
{Weapon Projection Magic}
Purnima is able to wield the element of Air (though she tried to learn fire as well, only to not do so hot; pun intended), her strongest element and the one she enjoys using the most. Using the element, she is able to wrap the blades of her swords with air to make the blades sharper. At her strongest, this would allow her blade to cut through a shield easily, but is restricted to only being able to be used once or twice in battle.
Weapons:
{Fighter} LOCKED
Twin Dirks - Small they may be, but she is fairly skilled with the little hand held blades. They are not much longer than the length of her forearm, but she has learned to be faster in maneuverability while wielding a smaller weapon.
{Captain} LOCKED
Twin Katanas - Having become quite skilled using the smaller dirks, she has now upgraded to using a slightly longer weapon. The katanas are about the length of her arm now. Though her agility was high with the twin dirks, it has lessened slightly with the longer blade. However the radius in which she can hit her opponents has increased. At this stage, Purnima is able to wrap a thin layer of the element Air around her blades to sharpen them enough to cut through thin layers of armor easily. She is restricted to only one use per battle.
{Tenryujin} LOCKED
Twin Blades - A master with twin swords, she now uses a longer weapon with colored blades. She is skilled at close combat and has a large radius for attack now. At this stage, she is now able to wrap her blades with the element Air and make them sharp enough to slice through a shield. This is limited to only twice per battle.
Other Skills:
Strength: Strong with close range combat and leans more towards the offensive. She is more of a 'act first; think later' person in battle as being in close combat doesn't give you much chance to really 'think' about what you are doing.
Weakness: Being a close range combatant, she's not good at watching her back for those of the opposite combat range. She is a target for long ranged attacks. Being ambitious, she tends to push herself too hard on the battlefield at times.
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 9:30 pm
 Extra space just in case.Annnnd this is open for crits :3
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Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 12:19 pm
First critique that I've ever done. ;;;;;
Any way...
Quirks - Now, if only she could get ... would stop trying to eat her flowers.
Confused on what goes here....
Clothing - If she's Indian, why is she dressed in Japanese clothing...? ;;;; Just my personal confusion...
Accessory Description - Has nothing. D:
History - Seems a bit more factual than a reflection on her life. How did the loss of her mother affect the whole family? Besides the paper business they have. How did Purnima feel about it? What has been doing up until the academy? Why isn't her beloved lemur mentioned?
Family - Her mother's "about" section has a few trailing thoughts that were never completed. Or started. The uncle's "about" section doesn't quite match the history you had put up for Purnima. Gita has trailing thoughts, too.
Lemur section - Purnima nor any of her brothers try to dissuade Naoki of this notion. Especially not Kishen. He is quite happy to know that there is someone looking after is younger sister when he can't. Not that she thinks she needs it.
I just think this whole thing needs revision.
Fighting - Does her meticulous trait come out at all during any point of her training or battling? Just curious.
Spelling/Minor grammatical errors - Just stupid stuff like missing an "s" at the ends of words or having "and" instead of "an", which I do myself sometimes. xD;;;; Or missing the word "an" completely. Just my OCD acting up with this critique.
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 11:46 am
Well I should feel honored that I get to be your first critique ever then <33 ;D
-Quirks: OMG I'm glad you pointed that out. I totally forgot to go add in Naoki's name there. I'd written that blurb under her quirks before I'd figured out what her lemur's name was |D;; This has been fixed!
-Clothing: I was actually under the assumption she was just like other Lunarian's and was more Japanese based. Her name is Indian, but she wasn't meant to be Indian herself > > I could clarify this somewhere if need be!
Also, the accessory section....hahaha! I have no idea about accessories for her. I was sort of leaving that up to the artist. I really don't have a specific idea in mind for her clothing in general, more like a few suggestions that the artist could use to base her clothing off of.
-History: FFFF I hate writing histories, so much! I never caught that I completely left out any mention in the history about how her mother's death affected her. I can definitely add that in! ^^ As for her history overall, I guess I as trying to go for something that wasn't so...focused soley on being Noble vs. Legion? OTL I'm sure I'll have to play around with her history several times <33 Also, I didn't mention the lemur in her history section because he has his own section ^^
-Family: I'm...not quite sure I'm catching the trailing thoughts you are. Her family section wasn't meant to be super detailed and I was attempting to give just a brief 'background' on each member. As for her Uncle, could you tell me what's not quite matching up? I've reread his section and her history a few times now and I'm...just not seeing the mismatch. >.<
-Lemur: I'm not sure what you feel needs revision. The whole lemur section? Just those sentences? This is another one I've read over a few times now and I'm not sure what it is you are feeling needs revision.
-Fighting: That...is a good quetion, actually. I will have to think on it and see if that does come out in her training/battling! XD
-Spelling: I am so horrible about the "an" and "and". Without going through this whole thing line by line, word by word, as long as you can tell what I was 'trying' to say, that will have to be good enough for now! But thanks for pointing it out, as obviously, I didn't catch them all!
I think you did a very nice critique! Thank you very much for critiquing my quest. You've definitely given me some things to look back over and tweak a little. <333
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 7:23 pm
Well by trailing thoughts I mean like thoughts were started but then never seemed like they're finished. Sorry, I talk oddly. xD;;;;;;
As for the uncle section, it mentions that he blames the Legion for his wife's death and yet it says in the history that he wasn't very close to his wife. There's no mention of the Legion except about his deep hate for it.
The sentences I copied need revision. It seems like you mean that none of the siblings mind having the Lemur be so protective.
And the Japanese part, it's not Japanese based, it's Asian based. She can be Indian if you want her to be.
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Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 1:31 pm
Sloooowly working through some of the things mentioned in the crit xD
The one sentence has been revised, and a few things added (like words to help make the sentences flow better) added into her personality section. Still looking over her history and family blurbs ^^
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