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 Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 4:42 pm
 【ＣＯＮＦＥＳＳＩＯＮＳ】My verdict has come in,
It says I'm guilty for my sins this time.
I thought I could escape,
But then I finally felt the weight
Of my crimes.
It's passion, it's not love,
Infatuation never ends up right.
At least I won't be alone tonight.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Confessions - City and Colour
but after the long run of IABOM I've been feeling something fresh and new.
The premise is kind of similar to the old roleplay, but will include all new
characters in a different setting. I hope you will find it interesting and join.
Perhaps we can make this just as big/fun as IABOM. (:
xoxo
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 4:50 pm
【ＣＯＮＦＥＳＳＩＯＮＳ】 I'm usually a really horrible person who puts her rules in paragraph form. Fortunately, I'm lazy most of the time when it comes to rules so I won't waste too much of your time. =)
I really don't enjoy anime. If you're in this guild, then you already know that it's kind of hated, just a touch. So please, spare my eyes the use of anime for your character.
No stealing, no being a complete tool and decided to brutally slaughter everyone else in the roleplay for no reason. No cursing every other word - you'll make yourself sound stupid, really. It does. *nods*. No sex, either. Time skip that stuff and keep it off Gaia.
Make your posts pretty. Follow my skeleton to the letter for your profiles. Actually, they're hardly profiles. I actually hate having to read through profiles. Srry. I'm lazy. I know, I know. *hangs head in shame*. Just follow the skeleton, 'kay? He's dancing out the door so you'd better run after him fast!
Have a specific posting color for your characters speech and thoughts. Don't copy someone else's color. I already wear glasses, so don't blind me with neon yellow or something like that. Please use font sizes 10 or 11. They just look so much better.
There's no paragraph size or any posting regulations like that. Just give us something to work with. I'm sure we'd all prefer two paragraphs of actual content to ten posts of absolute crud.
I totally don't care what you label the PM you send to me for your character that you want. Anything you want, once I open it, I'll know what it's for anyway.
Hmm, I think that covers it. I'll add more and bold it if I need to put anything else here!
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 6:09 pm
【ＣＯＮＦＥＳＳＩＯＮＳ】   xxCharlie Fields
xxAGEx┊ Twenty-two
xxGENDERx┊ female
xxUSERNAMEx┊ Rumpleteazey Charlie Fields has always struggled with her identity. Terrified of letting others know that her sexuality was not as straight as everyone believed. As if that wasn't enough to deal with, she is openly mentally ill with a case of severe depression. With a mixture of therapy and medication, that particular problem is managed for the most part, but she can't keep her sexuality a secret forever.  xxTate Collins
xxAGEx┊ twenty-two
xxGENDERx┊ male
xxUSERNAMEx┊ Katelyn620 Tate Collins tries to portray himself as the most self-confident person on the planet when deep down, he feels completely the opposite. Secretly he is seeing a therapist for a condition known as body dysmorphic disorder. What he sees in the mirror is definitely not what appears on the surface. He would rather die than have anyone find out his secret, but recently caught a glimpse of Charlie Fields leaving the therapist's office as he arrived. Now, he fears that she might find out his secret.
 xxNaomi McGrath
xxAGEx┊ twenty – one
xxGENDERx┊ female
xxUSERNAMEx┊ Poisonous Perfume Naomi McGrath kind of, sort of killed someone. Murder wouldn't exactly be the correct word, but she was partially responsible for the man's death. During a night of binging on illicit substances with the older brother of Kayleigh Frier, someone suffered a fatal overdose, and it wasn't her. She quickly called for an ambulance and left the scene before anyone knew she was ever there and was never found out.
 xxCash Butler
xxAGEx┊Twenty-One
xxGENDERx┊ male
xxUSERNAMEx┊ Vanilla Nerd Cash Butler has been interested in dating Charlie Fields for most of the time that they have known each other. Each time he tried to make an advance, he was shot down every single time. This, on top with a troubled home life in his past has caused him to turn to the bottle. He swears he doesn't have a problem but knows that he can't let the others find out.
 xxKayleigh Frier
xxAGEx┊ twenty-one
xxGENDERx┊ female
xxUSERNAMEx┊ Ze Queen of Bleu Kayleigh Frier makes no secret of her sexuality and is openly a lesbian. She is not ashamed of who she is but she has a bit of a dark spot in her past she would like to remain secret. During a brief period of confusion regarding her sexuality she slept with a male acquaintance. This, of course helped her realize that she had no sexual interest in men, but at the cost of a baby in her belly. Her abortion is a secret she wants no one to know.
 xxJason Hallaway
xxAGEx┊ twenty - one
xxGENDERx┊ male
xxUSERNAMEx┊ darkyang109 Jason Hallaway is the wonderful friend that everyone trusts with their secrets, knowing that he would never tell. The reason he's so good at keeping other people's secrets is because he would rather have other people tell him secrets than have to disclose his own. Truth be told, he isn't too sure of himself. As a pathological liar, he's unable to tell his own truth from fiction, but what happens when that logic begins to apply to other people's secrets as well?
Skeleton
[imgleft]100 x 100[/imgleft][color=white]xx[/color][size=20][color=postingcolor][b]First Last[/b][/color][/size][size=10]
[color=white]xx[/color][color=black]AGE[/color][color=white]x[/color]┊[color=gray] age[/color]
[color=white]xx[/color][color=black]GENDER[/color][color=white]x[/color]┊[color=lightblue or pink] gender [/color]
[color=white]xx[/color][color=black]USERNAME[/color][color=white]x[/color]┊[color=gray] username [/color][/size]
include which character # you want as well. me no psychic.
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 6:14 pm
【ＣＯＮＦＥＳＳＩＯＮＳ】 character one - taken by Rumpleteazey
character two - taken by katelyn620
character three - taken by Poisonous Perfume
character four - taken by Vanilla Nerd
character five - taken by Ze Queen of Bleu
character six - taken by DarkYang109
SETTING
The group of six have all decided to take a vacation at the beach house owned by Jason Hallaway.
Jason and Naomi have taken a walk out towards the edge of the beach, in which Naomi confesses what had happened the night Kayleigh's brother died. Kayleigh and Charlie are seated on the back deck, with Charlie absent-mindedly talking about her latest therapy appointment. Tate finds Kayleigh's missing cell phone and walks in on the conversation to return it. After hearing the two talk of the therapist, he fears that Charlie has already told Kayleigh about seeing him outside of the therapist's office. To try to find out if they had previously been discussing this, Tate decides against letting Kayleigh know that the phone has been found and instead rummages through her text messages. Instead of finding what was sought out, he stumbles upon her secret abortion.
**Since character four is not filled yet, we can just assume that he is in another room, and whenever the spot is taken, this character can walk into whichever scene works best for them. I just wanted to get this roleplay going!
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 12:47 pm
【ＣＯＮＦＥＳＳＩＯＮＳ】 The Beach HouseRoomsMaster Suite (top floor) - Jason and Kayleigh Since he does own the house, and Kay is just chillin' on the pull-out couch's bed in the room.Regular Bedroom (top floor) - Naomi and Charlie
Regular Bedroom (bottom floor) - Tate and Cash.
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 12:49 pm
【ＣＯＮＦＥＳＳＩＯＮＳ】Any additional stuff I need a place for can go ici. (:
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 1:25 pm
 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx☀ So, now you're not therexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxbut your ghost still burns in the airxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxfinally, above us the waves have come ●x●x●xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxTO TAKE YOU AWAY▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxmissing (serravalle) - city and colour 
Kayleigh was thankful that the group had a friend who owned such a wonderful beach-front property. This meant that the incredibly warm summers became that much more bearable when they could be just a stone's throw from the cool ocean water. Despite the warm sun's rays beaming down onto her face, Kayleigh couldn't help but feel a sadness curl up from deep within her. She wished that her older brother Josh would have been able to be there enjoying the great weather with her. As children, the two were completely inseparable. Of course, as they grew older, Kayleigh developed her own group of friends and Josh developed his own so the time they spent together was few and far between.
A part of Kayleigh blamed herself for what happened to Josh, knowing that the investigation into his death ruled the cause as a suicide (despite that not actually being the case). To this day she was convinced that if she had just spent more time with him that she would have been able to notice that something was wrong. She knew that if she'd been there for him, that he would have been able to talk to her. But I wasn't there.... She often found herself developing an intense inward anger at the fact that she'd let this happen, that she wasn't there for him. Especially when he had been there for her during her dilemma when she had no where else she felt she could turn.
After realizing that she was spending too much time dwelling on his death, Kayleigh forced herself back into the present moment where Charlie had been talking to her. A pang of guilt rose up inside her, knowing that she hadn't exactly been listening very intently to what Charlie had been saying. Kayleigh thought that the girl was explaining something from a recent therapy session she had, but Kayleigh couldn't exactly be certain. Instead of letting onto the fact that she had gone off into her own little world, Kayleigh chose to just smile and nod ever so slightly in Charlie's direction to show the girl that she had her attention (at least, she now had her attention.)
OOC: This post is short, but I didn't want to go too overboard and godmode other people's characters or anything. (:
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:51 pm
xxx☻Polyvore
xxxxxx☻Theme Song Seated in a comfortable lounge chair beside the one where Kayleigh now presently sat, Charlie’s eyes were half closed to shield her vision against the hot rays of the ocean sun. Seagull sounds cawing within her ears in a soothing melody, Charlie could not help but feel that Jason’s beach house was the best location to be. If she planned on being honest…with someone. Three weeks ago, Charlie had finally confessed something personal to her therapist, and the woman had suggested that she express these concerns with a close friend. To be more specific, Charlie’s lesbian friends. To be honest, Charlie still wasn’t sure exactly what she was feeling about her sexuality, only that her eyes tended to veer towards the women before she thought to examine the men upon entering a public place. If anyone knew what it felt like to be between a rock and a hard place, that person would be her friend Kayleigh…Who else could understand what she might be going through? If your unsure Charlie, why not ask your friend some questions? It seemed like sound logic at the time…but now Charlie was unsure. Nibbling on her lip, Charlie would have to face her fear of exposure if she was ever going to open up to her friend…which was easier said than done.
“ So me and my therapist have been…discussing something lately…”, Charlie opened her eyes a few centimetres to peek at her friends expression. To be true, Charlie had been working up the courage to talk to her friend for a very long time, and had been talking about random things for the past ten minutes. Trying to work up the nerve to finally tell Kayleigh what she was feeling on the inside. She isn’t paying any attention…Charlie thought to herself, feeling rather foolish for trying to open up when her friend wasn’t giving her the time of day. ‘ She just has a lot on her mind…that’s all.’ At least, Charlie sincerely hoped so…Seeing Kayleigh nod, Charlie attempted a small smile and began to speak again.
“ um…Kale…when did you…I mean…”, Stuttering, Charlie felt the ocean breeze stir her brown hair and refresh her spirits. As warm a day as it was, the wind was only warm enough not to chill her or create goosebumps up and down her arms. Just ask her Charlie…your being a complete coward! Charlie swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘ I can‘t! What if I tell her, and she thinks I‘m coming on to her or something? I don‘t want to give my friend the wrong idea!’ Not convincing herself that she wasn’t being cowardly, Charlie just accepted that she had no backbone and tried her best to change the situation enough to throw her friend off the scent.
“ I have this friend of mine that I see when I go to therapy. A great person…but this person is unsure of him…herself…of who she is, and I thought I w…would ask you…Ih…if, you had a time when you…knew without a shadow of a doubt that you were…who you are…” Charlie was being so elusive and vague that she was tripping over her own tongue. Frustrated at how foolish she felt she was being, Charlie debated just ending the conversation there and walking back into the beach house. ‘ But that would mean admitting that I‘m not actually talking about a ‘friend‘.’ Grimacing uncomfortably, Charlie just hoped that Kayleigh would ask her what she meant so that she could gather enough courage to keep going.
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Vanilla Nerd Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 2:18 pm
 Cash ☠ Butler❥ I don't think I'll be held inside an ordinary cell. . .xxxxxam I the escapexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxorxxxxxxxxxxam I the escape artist? 
The beach was beautiful, with the way the waves lapped up on shore and how the sun made the water shimmer and glow. A twenty-one year old boy was underneath a rather large tree with a bottle of Jack Daniel's in one hand. His hat was pulled over his eyes to prevent the sun from glaring through the lenses of his thick rimmed glasses. Every few seconds the mouth of the bottle would touch his lips and the familiar burning sensation would hit his throat. This was Cash, Cash Butler: He was used to the burning sensation, in fact, he had come to enjoy the feeling. He scratched at the subtle stubble on his chin, then returned the bottle to his mouth. The world was tumbling down at his feet and he couldn't control it. What he could control, though, was his "sobriety" and what to forget. The more he drank from his half empty bottle of whiskey, the hazier the world became and the more reality faded into blackness.
If Cash was confident in his ability to stand, he would go into the beach house and talk to the girl that had rejected him many times. 'Why couldn't just one thing in my life go right?' He took another swig from the bottle and wiped his lip with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. Sure, it was a tad warm for long sleeves but he was wearing shorts and a light t-shirt so he was actually comfortable. Cash let out a gentle groan as he leaned against the trunk of the tree, eyes shut tightly with his fingers strangling the neck of the bottle. There was no way he was moving from that spot, unless someone was on fire, but even then he would have to be the one on fire. He looked behind him at the back porch, noticing that Charlie and Kayleigh were conversing. He grimaced. Cash wanted to forget about that b***h, but Charlie had always been that one girl he always wanted. After all his past girlfriends and his reasoning and excuses for breaking it off, he tried to figure out why all his relationships failed: it was because of Charlie.
Cash groaned again. 'I wish she'd just tell me why we can't be together...' If she would just give him an actual reason other than "no", he would probably stop feeling such strong feelings for her. Even then he's unsure if that would stop it. His dark eyes stared down at the bottle, unsure how much was left since his drunken laziness had the bottle partially on its side. He felt like stripping off his clothing and diving head first into the water, but then realized that the waves would take his drunk a** out to sea where no one would ever see him again; unless that was what people wanted, in which case he would jump in fully clothed and just float around.
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 7:51 pm
Thread: Confessions
model: indiana evans
role: character three
songs:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ｎａｏｍｉ meowmix ｍｃｇｒａｔｈ Naomi McGrath chewed on the inside of her cheek, her eyes focused determinedly on the sand before her feet. With each step, she could feel finely ground pebble fragments push their way into the crevices between her toes. Some grains stayed. The rest fell away. She wished everything could be like that. She wished only a few precious memories would stay and that the rest would sort of dissolve into nothing. She bet she would’ve felt a lot better if it did. She barely heard the fairly regular crash of collapsing waves crumpling into themselves and falling to the sand over her own thoughts. Just moments before, she’d confessed. Just moments ago, she’d released the colossal secret she’d been harboring for months. She ran over her words in her head, compulsively double-checking to make sure only the pieces she wanted to be there were present. “I was there when Josh died.” It was a simple sentence, really. For a moment she wondered if Jason had even heard her or if her six condemning words had been whipped away by wind or had been overpowered by the sea. But those words, the words that had taken her so long to say, hardly even brushed the surface of what had happened that night. What she didn’t say—and wouldn’t for a while—still sat on her chest and still made it hard to breathe sometimes when she was sober and remembered too much. Naomi wanted to look back at the house, wanted to triple check that Kayleigh wasn’t within earshot. “Or, I mean, maybe he was dying. I can’t remember whether he was dead or not when I left.” Dead, dying, dead again. She’d refused to say that for the longest time, refused to even verbally link death and Josh. He was gone or he had passed on. She thought it sounded better that way, like he’d taken a trip and could come back sometime. But now that she’d said it, it was the only thing she could think about. Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. She knew he couldn’t come back, of course. She’d been there for his funeral, watched a box with him in it being pushed away into some dark corner. It freaked her out to think about Josh’s body in a box, just lying there, still packed with all the basics for life, all the bones and all the muscles and all the capillaries and little veins, but lifeless. She only used to see him when he was still kind of in their group, a guest star more than a lead role, sometimes with his sister, but not as often as Naomi would have liked. She didn’t know how to explain the rest to Jason, how to tell him why she’d been in Josh’s apartment in the first place when he hadn’t been part of the group in so long or how to explain why she’d let Josh pop so many pills so quickly. It was for the high, obviously, for the weightlessness and the invincibility they’d both been searching for that night by the means of various pharmaceuticals. But she couldn't say that much about him. Not yet. She was trying to soothe her conscience and dragging his name into the mud with talks about getting high on illegal prescriptions seemed highly counterproductive.
Naomi was quiet for a short spell, walking slower than usual, as if the bits and pieces of her confession that hadn't made it out on her voice had retaliated and sunk to her feet. One hand had made its way up to her hairline and had extended the distance between her index finger and thumb to form a makeshift headband should some new wind come and fling her hair into her mouth. "He didn't kill himself." She stopped walking then and just stood, turning her body towards Jason the Keeper of Secrets and waiting for some sort of acknowledgment. She squinted up, stubbornly trying to make out his features even though the sun was almost directly behind his head. Her expression was still as well, jaw only slightly clenched, cheeks relaxed, but eyes bouncing to and fro like caged grasshoppers. She waited, waited for an exclamation of horror or surprise, waited for some sort of narrowing, suspicious sidelong glance to be cast her way, waited for the partial relief of her confession to kick in. She didn't sniffle. She didn't worry about tears. She just waited and waited as the clap of the waves hitting sand kept time with her heart.  OOC: Crummy post. Crummy layout. Will fix both. Promise. Sorry. Just wanted to add something quick.
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Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 2:27 am
【Ɍuϻorȿ of ϻү
XXXDϵϻisϵ hαvϵ bϵϵn
XXXXXXＧrϵαtlү ϵ x α g g ϵ r α t ϵ d】 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━  Jason looked over the water as he walked with Naomi. He simply watched the waves come slowly up to the shore before sliding back into the giant body of water that was the ocean. He also noticed how the waves would slowly wash away the footprints that they were making as they walked. This beach house was something that he enjoyed quite a lot. He had loved coming here in the summers as a kid. It was nice to come with friends.
Realizing that Naomi was having difficulty trying to talk to him, Jason tried to give her his full attention. He knew something like this would be coming when the two of them set off on the walk. Not that he minded at all. He was glad to hear his friends out. They liked to talk to him about stuff, stuff he simply assumed they didn’t share with the others. He was the one that could be trusted. It was a nice feeling. It also kept people from questioning him too much, not that there was anything wrong with him. Well, maybe there was…if there was anything wrong with him it wasn’t too serious. Nothing that he couldn’t handle on his own. Jason realized again that he had stopped listening to Naomi. He needed to focus.
She was talking about Josh now, Kayleigh’s brother. Jason remembered what happened to him. He died. Why was Naomi bringing him up? As he listened, it became clear that she was in the area, at least, when he died or shortly before he died. This was intriguing to him. He knew that it was probably really hard for Naomi to confess such things to him but he couldn’t help but want to know more. So of course, when she paused briefly, stopped walking, and looked at him, Jason stopped walking, looked at her and gave a slight nod of encouragement. ”What do you mean?” His voice wasn’t demanding in any way, instead, it was soft and understanding.
[sorry this post is kind of fail]
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
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Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 8:31 pm
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  Locked away in the bathroom of the beach house while everyone else was outside enjoying the beautiful day was Tate. Does my nose always look like that? He turned his head every which way looking at his nose from all angles. Upon looking up, Tate made a horrifying discovery, his nostrils weren’t the same size. Something that no one but him will notice, or care about, was a big deal to Tate. Even though his body was fit and toned from countless hours of working out, it was still flabby and ugly to Tate. Going to therapy has helped, some, but he just can’t help spending more time than necessary in front of the mirror and working out. For the past six years Tate has worked out at least 2 hours a day every day. It’s more of a compulsion than a routine.
Tate knows that spends more time in front of a mirror than most girls, but he can’t help it. Even just a simple trip to the bathroom can take 20 minutes once he looks at himself in the mirror. It’s a problem, but no one knows about it. Around everyone else, Tate is Mr. Cool, some may even say arrogant. Always flexing his muscles and trying to show off, but it’s all just show. He does it because that’s what guys like him do. They don’t fuss with their hair and fret about their nostrils. Guys like him are cool and confident. They spend five minutes to get ready in the morning and don’t examine every feature of their face ten times a day. In this bathroom, behind locked doors, Tate is insecure and obsessive, but once he steps outside he is a totally different person.
After a few minutes of trying to determine if his different nostril size was noticeable, Tate decided it was time to leave the bathroom before anyone got suspicious of his whereabouts. Tearing himself away from the mirror, he put a fake grin on his face and headed towards the back porch. As he made his way through the house, he heard a buzzing coming from somewhere. Stopping to try and figure out where it was coming from, Tate moved around searching for the source of the noise. As the buzzing continued, he figured out the noise was coming from the sofa in the corner. It didn’t take long to realize that the buzzing was Kayleigh’s lost cell phone. Keep ringing, he thought as he rummaged through the cushions of the sofa. Finally, his hand found the phone and he pulled it out from its hiding spot. Pleased with himself at finding Kayleigh’s phone, Tate headed straight for the back porch where she was sitting when he left to go the bathroom. As he pulled open the screen door, he overheard Charlie’s last statement about her last therapy session. What she said stopped him dead in his tracks.
Tate remembers her last therapy session, because he was arriving just as she was leaving. Tate tried to hide himself from her view, but apparently she saw him. Oh no, she saw me. And now she’s telling Kayleigh about it. Tate became very afraid of what they would think of him now. Surely they would ask a ton of questions. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle that. I have to get away from them. It was too late to turn back into the house because they would have surely heard him open the door. So instead, Tate swallowed his thoughts for a moment and confidently walked out on the porch. He tucked the phone into the pocket of his shorts and looked around the beach where he saw Tate and Naomi walking. “Where’s Cash?” Tate asked turning around to Charlie and Kayleigh. “I’m going to go find him and make sure he isn’t passed out drunk somewhere,” he said before either of them could respond. It was his excuse to get away from them before they could say anything to him.
Stepping off the porch, Tate walked around not really looking for his friend. He pulled out Kayleigh’s phone and began playing with it. He went to the text message folder and began reading her messages. Tate knew it wasn’t right to look through her messages, but he couldn’t help himself. As he read message after message, Tate was about to put the phone back in his pocket when he stumbled across something that caught his attention. It was about and abortion. At first he thought it was someone else’s abortion because he knew Kayleigh was a lesbian. Then as he continued reading, he realized she was the one to have an abortion. This came as a shock to Tate and a million questions ran through his mind. When did this happen? Who was the father? As he walked, he wasn’t really sure where he was going, but when he looked up he found Cash under a tree, drinking as usual. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 7:59 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx☀ So, now you're not therexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxbut your ghost still burns in the airxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxfinally, above us the waves have come ●x●x●xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxTO TAKE YOU AWAY▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ ▅ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxmissing (serravalle) - city and colour
Now listening intently, sensing that Charlie was trying to work up the words to ask her a question, Kayleigh sat back and allowed the girl to get the right sounds to come out of her mouth to vocalize what she wanted to ask. Immediately, she picked up on the fact that Charlie was questioning about how Kayleigh knew who she was in regards to her sexuality. This, of course, wasn't a question she really wanted to answer honestly. I found myself questioning it a lot. A lot, a lot. Then I had sex with a male friend... and realized that there was no sexual attraction whatsoever. Just the thought of having those words be spoken out loud gave Kayleigh the chills. Even though doing so wouldn't require her actually having to bring up the aborted pregnancy, it was still something that made her uncomfortable.
"You mean...how I knew I was a lesbian?" Kayleigh questioned, despite the fact she was already well aware that was what Charlie was asking. In the back of her mind, Kayleigh couldn't help but wonder if this "friend" of Charlie's was actually that, or if it was just the cliched excuse one uses when they don't want to admit that they are the ones wanting the answer to the question. Regardless of what the case may be, she decided not to pry, knowing that she wouldn't have wanted the twenty questions when she was trying to figure out her own sexuality.
Instead of waiting for Charlie to give confirmation, Kayleigh decided to answer the question right away - hoping that it might take the pressure off and make things a little easier for her friend. She could see that Charlie was definitely struggling finding the words to ask what she wanted. "Before I knew for certain... there was a lot of confusion. It was a constant 'maybe/maybe not' monologue inside of my head. I guess in the end... one option just... felt more right than the other. And it was at that point that I just knew."
Kayleigh knew that her response lacked a real explanation of when and how she knew for certain of her sexual orientation, but that was the best that she was willing to give at the moment. Sure, she and Charlie were friends, but Kayleigh wasn't ready to tell anyone about the night that solidified everything in her mind. "Just tell your friend that... eventually things will become clear for her and she'll just know." She hoped that would suffice.
Fortunately, at that moment Tate walked over questioning the whereabouts of Cash before quickly disappearing. Kayleigh's first thought was that he had found a quiet place to indulge in an alcoholic beverage. She didn't mean any malice behind making the assumption, but they all knew Cash too well to not suspect something like that. Of course, to Kayleigh it didn't seem like it wasn't something he had a handle on, but rather just something he chose to spend his time doing. If there was something going on deeper down, then she was certainly not aware of it. A tad curious, she decided to pick Charlie's brain to see if she knew anything more. "So... have you ever noticed anything a little off about Cash? Sometimes I wonder if something's going on with him, but to be honest... we don't talk that much."
OOC: sorrysorrysorrythisissoshort. D':
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Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 12:36 am
[If you hate this nilla, I can change it.]xxx☻Polyvore
xxxxxx☻Theme Song Charlie’s chocolate eyes watching the expression on her friend’s, her eyebrows began to curl from the outward expression of worry. Strangely enough, it was easier to talk about this with Kayleigh when she wasn’t paying attention. ‘ Maybe now isn‘t the best time…she looks really apprehensive…’ So far, no one ever talked to Kayleigh or asked questions about her sexuality. It was a mute, taboo, issue that no one wanted to mess with. A boat no one wanted to rock. ‘ But I just have to know…if what I‘m feeling is right or not…Maybe I am just confused.’ Watching Kayleighs face…change from her question, Charlie felt the twinge of regret begin to fester in her gut…A premonition of what was to come.
“ You mean…how I knew I was a lesbian?”, ‘ Yes…’, Charlie inwardly pleaded. Of course that was what Charlie was asking about, and she desperately wanted to hear Kayleigh’s answer. But Kayleigh seemed to only be asking that question to delay answering, and that was never a good sign. ‘ I know you probably don‘t want to talk about it, but I just have to know…’ Frowning from worry as an obvious, wordless, ‘yes’, Charlie could only nod. Saying that ‘yes’ would only confirm the fact that she was asking it for her instead of an imaginary friend. Too ashamed to speak, Charlie just swallowed the knot in her throat and waited as her friend expressed her thoughts on the subject. Each little pearl that fell from her lips feeding Charlie’s thoughts and opinions. ‘ I feel that monologue all the time K. What do I need to do to really know?’ Her friend answered that question too, and Charlie simply nodded. It was all she could do to keep from spilling the beans and confessing everything to her friend right then and there.
Suddenly, the screen door screeched softly as it slid open from its slumber, and Charlie’s eyes bulged like a frog. ‘ How much did he overhear!?!’, mortified (when she really shouldn’t have been because she was supposedly asking for a friend) Charlie just shrugged her shoulders and scratched the back of her head when he finally walked onto the porch.
“ Where‘s cash?”, Charlie just shrugged and offered a blank, but concerned, expression.
‘ Cash…’ Charlie felt so unfeeling, simply because she had not even thought of him all day. At one time they had been really close friends, but then he started to like her. As much as she did like Cash…he just wasn’t all that attractive. Like your one to talk plain Jane. In the beginning, Charlie thought that maybe her friend would stop after the first time she turned him down, but he didn’t. He persisted, and Charlie couldn’t understand it. She wasn‘t Naomi. ‘ I‘m not that pretty…why would Cash like me this long?’ There was a little voice inside of her that believed that Cash might get over her if they slept together, but Charlie was rarely the type of girl to ever do such a thing. Especially with a guy like Cash. But boy, was he persistent. Charlie tried to appear more worried than she was. At least the awkward conversation with Kayleigh was over.
“ I‘m going to go find him and make sure he isn‘t passed out drunk somewhere.”, Charlie chuckled at Tate’s remark, thinking it was a joke. Sure, he drank a little bit. They all did, but he wasn’t so big a drinker that it was a red light. Suddenly, Charlie was pulled from her concentration on Tate’s body walking away from the porch by a question from Kayleigh. Listening intently, her eyes began to flicker about uncomfortably at the words. ‘ Great…we‘re talking about Cash.’ How lovely…Maybe it wasn’t commonly known that Cash had been so…annoyingly persistent…but if she was going to confess to something, she would rather mention this than what they had been talking about before.
“ Cash…”, Charlie’s face contorted slightly, her mouth forming a squiggly line. “…likes me. At least he did…and he‘s liked me for a while…”, Feeling horribly guilty, Charlie clamped her teeth down on her lip. You can’t even look her in the eye…She had tried to justify her earlier conduct, but there was no reasonable excuse. Charlie had been a frigid b*tch.
“ Me and Cash talked a night ago…and I was really mean to him.” Understatement of the century. “ He‘s probably off on his own, avoiding me…I should have said something earlier…but I didn‘t think he would leave the house…like this…”, Feeling her stomach knot up uncomfortably, Charlie felt too guilty to keep sitting on the chair. Standing up, she started after the direction Tate was walking towards. Though she paused beside the staircase.
“ We should probably go look for him with Tate…I have something…I need to apologize for.”, Her face emotionally distraught, Charlie tried to offer a reassuring smile, but it was awkward…and forced. Without a word, Charlie walked after Tate’s footsteps in the sand and shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. Someday, she and Cash would need to have a serious talk…if Cash ever wanted to see her again, that is.
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