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The Grey Alchemist

Spicy Sweetheart

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Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 6:37 pm

Hello, there! I'm requesting opinions, ideas, and critiques for an idea I've been developing. Please tell me what works, what doesn't, ect.

Quote:

Sometime in the distant future, Earth is dying. Pollution has reached a critical point, and humans have, for the most part, given up hope.....

Meanwhile, on a faraway planet, a war is raging. A small patrol group, lost in the forest, comes across a rift in both time and space, a portal connecting their world to ours. Naturally, they investigate, only to be sucked into our world.
A search party is sent out. They find where the soldiers dissapeared, and follow the men to Earth. They successfully rescue them, and it's as if nothing ever happened.
But something has. The dying planet of Earth has found one last hope. After the war has weakened the people, Earth sends in the combined armies of the nations. They massacre the people, destroying the civilization so they can claim the planet for their own.
Soon after this, a ressistance is formed. The people of this new world start fighting back.

I have a little more after that, but it's mostly vague ideas. Anyway, please tell me what you think! Your help is appreciated.

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 7:09 pm

It's hard to tell if a final product will be good or bad just from the idea. Anyway, ideas involving people getting sucked into other worlds and resistances fighting some other group have been done before, but I see no reason why this can't make for something good. I also think you should proofread stuff. I see at least two misspelled words, right away: *disappeared and *resistance.

You should also try sketching the setting and characters and all. For me, that helps give me more ideas and sometimes, I change things, because I see an idea that looks good written is terrible when drawn. At least, when I draw it, anyway. XD

Whatever you do, good luck!

Tenko72

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Zantetsken

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Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 8:02 pm

That doesn't really say much about what the story would be like, so it's hard to judge. For example, one way the story might play out is that one protagonist from Earth teams up with one protagonist from the other planet and they try to peacefully end the war... Another way of telling the story might be about one brute from Earth and his squadron taking down all the enemies. What you've got here is a setting, but not really much of an idea for the manga itself. It could go in any direction at this point, from love comedy to psychological horror to generic shounen battles.

One point you may want to touch on more is how Earth even finds out about those lost guys and the rescue team, and it would be a little unusual if they followed them through space immediately after their departure unless they had time to plan things out first. After all, I'm left to assume this is a one way portal if the patrol group didn't simply go back the way they came... You'd also have to consider how the people of the two planets might be able to communicate with each other (if at all) if they didn't properly have time to study each other beforehand.

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