Nadhani yawned and rose to his paws. Always an early riser, he was usually the first one up in the morning and the first one to go to sleep in the evening. He much preferred the mornings as they were when he felt at his best.
As he usually did when he rose, Nadhani stretched hugely before making his way to his mother. He preferred to sleep near his papa Sadiki for whatever reason, but when he rose the first thing he wanted to do was stare at his mama. Although Nadhani was young, he could understand that his mama had troubles.
This broke Nadhani's little heart.
He watched her often when she slept, making sure that she woke up and could see his smiling face first thing in the morning. He would not move until she rose, not even if it meant sitting at her side until mid-afternoon.
Kima had been sleeping longer since arriving at the pridelands. She felt safer here, with Sadiki. Her heart ached at the thought that she was not able to take care of her cubs on her own, but this was the best for them. They would grow up knowing she had loved them, even if she got to a point where she could not express it. That time was coming nearer, she could feel it. The mornings were the best time, and she relished the time she spent with her cubs. Nadhani was always there, it was a blessing in many ways. Slowly she awoke, finding him nearby as always. "My little robin," she cooed, her words largely obscured as she reached her paw out to him, "First to sing the morning."
Nadhani beamed at his mother. The days that she could remember his face were a blessing, much like this one was. "Good morning my mama, my sweet mama," he trilled, nuzzling close to Kima. Yes, he was young but he was intensely bright. This would be a good day for his mother, and that truly was all that mattered to Nadhani.
Sadiki had told Nadhani that he should spend as much time with Kima as possible. That was always in the back of the little lad's mind, but really he did it because he loved seeing those pretty green eyes of his mama's light up with recognition. The days it didn't, he felt sad, but Sadiki was always there to comfort him.
"Did you sleep good, mama?" Nadhani whispered close to Kima's ear. "Are you hungry?"
Hungry? A vague look of confusion came over her face as she looked around the den. How had they gotten here. She remembered, in a way, that this was home. But when? When had he gotten so big? It hurt to think about it, it was eaiser not to. "No," she said carefully, not sure which question she was answering. It was easier to keep herself on track if she thought in short bursts. "Where are your siblings?" she asked, a little nervous. She couldn't see very far at all anymore, and they tended to blend in with the rest of the den.
Nadhani frowned at himself. He should have remembered what papa Sadiki said -- one question at a time.
Clearing the frown from his features, Nadhani smiled again, speaking in a soft whisper. "They're sleeping, mama. Safe." Sadiki had told all of the cubs that 'safe' was an important word to use when speaking to their mother, that it would reassure her more often than not. Nadhani said it as often as he could.
"You look pretty this morning, mama," he said quietly, his eyes brimming with love. Oh, how he loved his mama. He hoped his nice words calmed her a bit. He got distraught when she got tense.
"Safe," she repeated, a childish smile appearing. She had done what she had to do, they would be alright without her. He was so very sweet, she thought as he complimented her, Sadiki had been raising them well. "And you so very strong," she said as she reach to nuzzle him. It helped to have them close, they grounded her in many ways. Here she didn't need to think beyond each day, everything was taken care of. Each day was full of reminders, it was soothing. In the same vein though it scared her, what would it mean for them all if her improvements were just superficial.
Nadhani beamed at Kima. "Thank you, mama," he said politely. After all, Sadiki was determined to raise these cubs right. Manners were important, were they not? At Kima's smile, Nadhani wriggled excitedly. He loved seeing her smile. "Do you want to move into the sun, mama?" The sun always made Nadhani happy, and he wanted to share that with his mother. Sadiki had told them with awkward words that their mama was unwell, and that they should do whatever they could to make her happy.
Nadhani hoped the sun might make her happy, too. "I can sit with you, if you like. In the sun, mama. It's warm there."
There he went, chattering again. He hoped Kima didn't get confused or upset.
"The sun," she cooed, slowly getting to her feet. It was nice to get outside, the fresh air always helped to clear her mind. And she would get to see little Nadhani playing. The thought appealed to her. That was what she wanted to remember. She didn't want to fall into the dark. Scary things came in the dark. "Let's go outside," she said after a moment when she had stabilized herself. She would need to stay close to him, she still didn't know the area very well. It was nice to be somewhere that was well populated though. If she did happen to get lost someone would be able to lead her back. "You could find me some flowers," she added, having a vague memory that she liked those.
Nadhani bounced excitedly when Kima rose to her feet, though he was careful not to get in her way. Brushing his shoulder against her leg, he silently encouraged her to move forward. "I can pick you as many flowers as you want, mama." Except the purple ones. He wasn't supposed to touch those. Sadiki had mentioned those held special meaning to the pride. "White ones, mama? Pink ones? Whatever color you want, mama." Oh, he was excited that she had given him something to do, something that would make her smile and make those pretty eyes of hers light up.
"We can put them in your hair, mama, I bet that would be so pretty. You're so pretty mama," he cooed, giddy with excitement.
"Yellow," she said as she moved, "Like the sunshine, and white." It was getting harder for her to get moving in the morning, a dull stiffness had overtaken the shaking and her joints never seemed to want to function properly at first. Being outside might help, he was right about that. Her little miracles, so smart. But when had they gotten so big? As they reached the exit of the den she slowed down, the landscape outside unfamiliar. For a moment she began to panic, and reached down to bite the scruff of his neck. They had to keep moving, they had to find help. No. She released him after a few seconds, looking back into the den. They had found help already, he had brought them here. They were safe.
She did that often. Nadhani didn't balk when she scruffed him. He was somewhat used to it, really. It wasn't the first time she did it and it wouldn't be the last time, either. When she released him, Nadhani kept walking as if nothing had happened.
"Yellow are my favorite," he said jovially, nuzzling her leg as he kept up with her slow pace. "White ones are like clouds, mama! Do you like clouds?" He paused to pick up a small yellow flower with his teeth, careful not to bruise the petals.
"I like the clouds when it doesn't rain," she told him softly, a dazed smile on her face as she settled just outside the den. There weren't many clouds in the sky today though. It was still early, and the sky held a hint of orange where the sun had crested the horizon. It made her happier than it probably should have, to realize that she had indeed woken up on a new day. It was getting harder to tell sometimes. As the day went on she felt more and more of herself slipping away. They could tell, she knew, but it wasn't anything she could hide. By noon now she was often entirely gone, and she had no real recollection of anything that happened until the next morning. She only hoped she wasn't being cruel to them. It seemed not, from the way Nadhani was acting. "Good morning merry sunshine," she sang softly as she watched him picking at the flowers, "How did you wake so soon..." It was bits and pieces, but she kept what she could. The song had come to her when she had given birth, she vaguely remembered a large male singing it to her. So big, he obscured the sun when he stood over her. Perhaps she was small then.
Nadhani nuzzled his mama's ear softly once she'd settled. He loved touching her soft fur. Sadiki said to make the most of every moment with their mother. Nadhani did this in ways that were often tactile: the feel of her fur, gentleness of her paws, the soft nuzzle of her nose. These were the things that made up Nadhani's mama. These were the things he wanted to remember. These were the things he would remember.
"That's a pretty song, mama," he whispered as he bounced away in order to find her another flower. A pink one this time, pretty just like his mama. He placed it by her feet before bounding away once more. There would be more flowers than she could possibly know what to do with, but they were what she'd asked for and so they were what she was going to get.
Kima slipped her paw over the flowers he left, feeling the petals push in between her toes. It was a childish sensation to enjoy, she knew, but things like that no longer bothered her. Lifting them up between her paws she inhaled deep, trying to bind the scent to the memory. Things like this she wanted to keep. The deep breath made her dizzy for a moment and she nearly sneezed, instead shaking her head lightly as she fixed her vision back on the shape of the little cub. "It came to me," she told him, "When you and your siblings did. Someone special used to sing it to me." She wished she might know who, they might be able to be there for the cubs when she wasn't. Her nerves were itching, pulsing out of order beneath her skin. She wasn't sure she'd be able to get back up without help.
Nadhani giggled as he watched her fuss with the flowers, the smile on his muzzle growing ever-larger when she almost sneezed. She was so silly sometimes, his mama was, but he loved every moment of it.
"Guess what happened the other day mama," he said slowly around the flower clutched ever-so-gently between his lips. Placing the flower down at her feet, Nadhani rocked back on his haunches with the biggest, brightest smile on his face as he waited for her reply.
"What?" she asked curiously, hoping it wasn't something strange she'd done. She gathered the flowers up into a little bundle and laid her head on her paws beside them, watching him the whole time. It was things like this that made her wish she could freeze time, and spend the rest of her days in this moment. Her mind wouldn't allow it, she could already feel the reaches of fog pulling at her psyche the more the sun rose. A healer had explained it to her once, but had said there was something too mechanical about it, whatever that meant.
"The other day," he said with pride, "I found a blue flower. I put a bug in it and brought it home to papa Sadiki and I told him, 'smell this' and he did and the bug almost went INTO HIS NOSE!!" Nadhani laughed mirthfully, remembering the way that Sadiki had looked when that bug nearly went up his nose. "He laughed so hard after I told him I did it, it was so funny mama."
Placing a few more flowers at her feet, Nadhani moved close and mimicked her position, though he faced her with his nose nearly touching hers. "Isn't that funny, mama?"
She started to laugh before he even finished the story, feeling a burn in her chest as she did. After a few seconds she started to cough, turning her head to the side so she didn't scare him. When she recovered she turned back, giving his forehead a very purposeful lick. "You're a naughty boy, if I were a good mother I'd punish you," she cooed, "But it's very funny." As much as she appreciated Sadiki's care of them she couldn't help but admit that he did need to relax sometimes. The coughing had brought a rush of blood to her head and she felt the shaking beginning down the top of her spine. She still had some time, but she didn't want him to be with her when it got bad.
When she started coughing, Nadhani began to nervously lick her cheeks and ears. He paused when she settled, worried furrows marring his cherubic face. "Are you tired, mama? I can go get papa if you need me to," he chuffed, nuzzling her face. "Maybe you need some rest, mama?" That was it. He must have pushed her too hard, but he'd needed this time with her, selfish as it might have seemed. He wouldn't apologize for it.
"I'm alright," she assured him, smiling weakly, "Mama just needs to sleep for a little while." Though she said a little while she knew that in all likelihood her mind would not awake until early the next morning or even later. She would be there for him whenever she could, but it would do no good to push herself too far and damage later chances. "Go play with your siblings?" she suggested, giving him a thorough nuzzling as she did, "I'm going to rest right here with these beautiful flowers."
Nadhani nodded haltingly, licking her cheek once more before backing away. She wasn't feeling well, he knew that much, and at least she would be warm here in the sun. That made him feel a little better. Besides, he could always come check on her throughout the day, and Sadiki would be around to keep an eye on her, too. "Okay, mama," he whispered softly, nuzzling her jaw before stepping back a few paces. "I'll check on you later," he promised before slowly turning and bouncing back to the den to rouse his brothers and sisters.
