[Q]Raphael Sabbat civilians(Stamp please)

[yoko lorako]

Name: Raphael Sabbat

Nickname: Raph

Age:18

Birthday: 06/06

Sign: Gemini

Gemstone: Agate, Green Aventurine, blue moonstone

Blood Type:: A+

Fav. Food: Strawberries, Chocolate, cake

Hated Food: Ginger, coffee, milk, tomato

School: Sovereign Heights Preparatory School

Hobbies:
Reading : He loves to read, always with a book in his hand, He will just sit under a tree and start reading. He is so concentrated in general when reading than if you speak near to him he will not hear anything. He has a big imagination and love fantasy novels the most. Every story of magic, witchcraft and fairies are part of his library. His mother used to tell him fantasy story when he was a child before sleeping, and after he heard “Once upon a time…” the first time he was addicted to books. He still secretly dream about saving a princess in destress too.

Cinema: he likes watching movies almost as much as reading. he likes to go see the movies made from books, even if the adaptation were in general pretty bad, he just likes enjoying the moment of seeing the character from the books moving, speaking and all. he doesn’t watch TV a lot, almost never, but he used his computer to watch movies, series. One thing he is addicted to is Japanese drama. It makes him laughs or cries like nothing else. He watched it using internet and streaming website.

Plushies: Yes he is a boy but he loves plushies so what ? if there is a UFO catcher in the town you can be sure Raphael went here. He has a lot and a lot of plushies in his room. It is easy you can see the big library full of book in the right side of his bed and the sofa almost as full on the left side. He loves collecting them, without real sense, like he has care bears and tiger side to side. It is just when he sees a new one in UFO, he just can't resist to the game and catching it. He never buy it in store, it is just a game addiction. He has still a childish mind about it, like in Toy Story, “When I am not here I am sure they are doing parties” it is what he hopes.

Astronomy: the sky, the planet, the story of universe, he loves it. Because it is part of fantasy, and so many things are unknown outside the Earth, he is looking every night at the Moon, dreaming about legend like a princess leaving here before (a story his mother told him a lot when he was little). He has a lot of book about astronomy too. Well majority says the same things, so he just has the NASA website in his internet bookmark and checks it every time he can.

Virtues:
A care bear ?: he is really open-minded and has a kind heart; He still like to be spoild even if he is an adult.
Because he grew up with fairy tales, he is open minded and he can accept different people easily. When a stranger comes he will talk to him/her. he understands that there is different kind of culture and faith. he likes to learn about different culture too, people are different, and it is what make Earth so interesting. he is really sociable. And he believes in unnatural things of course, like ghost, fairies and magic. Even if he doesn't really like ghost that much....

Passionate: when he is found something he likes he will never let it go. Like if he becomes fan of an artist he will buy all the things he could find about him/her. Just because the money goes to this artist, it's his way to support him/her. he can be really passionate about people too. Like he has friends he loves a lot, and will do anything for them if they ask. Like: waking up at 2am. he never turns off her cell phone for these reasons.
For him it is just sometimes: I like it, I will become a supporter for all my life, or I hate it, I will never come to like it. Even if he tries.

Logical mind: it can be contradictory with being passionated but he doesn’t see it like this. For him being rational is like when the weather is hot, not keeping chocolate outside or it will melt. Or if you want to save the Earth, you need to start with little things every day. he loves to go dancing but if he drives he will never drink alcohol, this is his way to be rational. His rational trait work the most when he is not daydreaming of course, Like when he is under pression his brain will fully work, analysing all the experience he had or what he knows to be able to make a good decision. Because of his naive side, he is not the type who like to be put in the front of the group, he prefers to listen more than taking decision. But if he thinks something is wrong or illogical for him, then his rational trait will take the lead.

Flaws:
Unware of hard reality: he is sometimes too daydreaming, forgetting the real world. he has the head in the books, dreaming about fairies and other magic stuff. He sometimes doesn't realize the hardest of life. He tends to trust people easily, he wants to see the good things in humans but majority of the time he is tricked. he is kind-hearted but too much for his own good. Because of his "care bear" trait which influence this naive side of him, he tends to look simple minded even if it is not the case. Because he trusts people easily, some try to influence him to do bad things. But really his naive attitude about the danger of the world sometimes put him in bad situation.

Possessive: : he is really possessive with the ones he loved. he is not the jealous type when it's about a boyfriend, but his best friends he is not willing to share them. he just wants them to be always by his side, and doesn't really like when they get new friend who take his place in their heart. Because he doesn’t know those new people, and he is always scared they might hurt his loved ones. he is really protective to his younger sister too, which is bad because he tends to rely on him too much and doesn’t act by herself.

Holds grudge: :”I can’t do anything about it” is the sentence he uses a lot when he get revenge on someone. He is really kind, never get angry easily but when he is, it is dangerous. First he will never scream. he will just stop speaking to the person, like if no one is here. Ignorance is his best weapon. he can be really cold and in general people feel it quickly. Then he will never wish someone’s death, why because if he has a grudge against this person, it will be more interesting to make him/her suffer than making her family suffer from him/her death. he can be kind of sadistic.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Hair: short black hair

Eyes:: light blue

Face: normal, a little girly

Clothes: in general a jean and then top tank and shirt.  

[Ryuthulhu]

OK! Crit time! *cracks knuckles*'

First off, I feel the need to point out that giving your character a Japanese name is STILL against the rules, with extremely few exceptions.

Shop Front Page

+ My character's name is [Something in Japanese]

Only customs have Japanese names. Destiny City is a multi-cultural hub where many a nation intersects -- you can have a Vietnamese name, you can have a Chinese name, but we're going to keep Japanese names on the downlow. Because this doesn't happen in Japan.

Second: Since DC is an American country, there's very little reason for anyone to be using "Kun" or "Chan" unless they're that little desperate group of people who lift it from Manga because they think it makes them sound more Japanese. ((And many of them actually use them incorrectly.)) So I would reconsider these as well. It doesn't really count as much of a nickname if there's no reason for anyone to actually use them.

Cinema: I'm not sure how accessible Japanese Drama is in Destiny City, since I know that while it's possible to find really campy Anime by the score online, actual 'Drama' programs are a little harder to come across than say, Insane Game Shows because... well... no matter what the language it's kind of surreal to watch sane people don costumes and fling themselves at impossible obstacle courses.

Passionate: Passionate sounds way more like "Obsessive". This could dove tail into being an iteresting flaw, since apparently once he stands by something he's entirely inflexible about it. This also seems to contradict 'Rational' since his behavior of trying to collect every last scrap of something is definitely not a rational behavior. Actually it sounds sort of like the character is simply apeing the "Otaku" trope, just to prove how Japanese they are.

Japa-Trope: it feels like every other sentence you're pointing out again, and again, how Japanese he is. Again, see the comment on the naming rules for the shop, and second, he's in DESTINY CITY. Not Japan. This doesn't really create the vibe for me that he's "Sooooo Japanese isn't it cool" It creates the vibe that someone has primarily just lifted a bunch of extreme traits from manga, because everything he loves is Japanese, except that he gets to be an 'adult' here when he'd have to wait longer in Japan.
If he's actually "Japanese" ((which again has a good chance of not flying at all with the shop rules.)) We don't even know WHY he's here, although I kind of suspect that you're going to tell us that his parents moved him here? If so I'd be really interested to hear WHY. Destiny City doesn't exactly have a lot to recommend it to people looking to move to the States these days. Monsters and Coma-plagues and you name it.

I'm not really feeling the Open Like a Book as a virtue OR a flaw. He just sounds kind of... average. Most people display their emotions clearly, even if they think they don't. The people who can fully hide them are far more uncommon, and have probably developed the learned behavior for very good reasons.


Senshi of Witchcraft:

Firstly, I think you run a VERY strong risk of this sphere being seen as another Trope, and one that could, in fact, be considered offensive to practitioners of the modern religions born out of the old pagan traditions, and to people who's families may have been historically involved in the events at Salem.

The Salem Witch Trials were far less about actual magic, or even 'real' magical practitioners, than Petty jealousy, mass hysteria, and a play by the church to grab land. ((If you admitted to practicing witchcraft the church could seize your land.)) Giles Corey was pressed to death under increasingly large stones in the attempt to force him to confess, an extremely slow and painful way to die, and never did confess. His last words are rumored to be "More Stones."
He was that determined to make sure his family did not loose their lands to the terrible events at Salem.
The first round was actually caused by two girls who didn't like another. Like teenage dramas that happen every day, they made up a lie and told other people to ruin her reputation and people died because of petty jealousy, greed, and hysteria.

I think if you really want to keep these attacks you'd be far more tasteful in deciding to be a Cat themed Senshi, because the attacks themselves don't actually have an relation to Witchcraft, save by the EXTREME trope of claiming he's enacting the attacks of a stereotypical "Familiar".

If you really want to even consider keeping this sphere I would really suggest looking more into both Modern and Historical magical practices, and how they actually worked, and into the actual events at Salem, so that the sphere can be handled with respect regarding what happened there.

Another attack thought is that I do not believe that he will be able to physically transform his own nails into cat claws. You MIGHT be able to argue that his magical attacks create injuries that mimic the injuries caused by a cats claws, but his own nails would not magically transform into claws. He's not a guardian cat.

Salem Witch Hunt on Wikipedia this is a good starting point.  

[yoko lorako]

Really long post XD

I am aware of the rule. I just had the idea that his parent were Japanese then moved in DC. But if really it is a problem I will change.

I am totally aware about Salem witch hunt and all magical stuff because it is my passion. But I will take all your advice in account (later because I don't have time right now to look at everything XD)

And sorry but I am a passionate person but not obsessive, for me it is different. I based my civi/sailor on my own personnality and I am someone passionated, and flexible, in the way even if I have my own taste I accept people critic, it will just not meant I will change my mind about things I love. I accept what other people love even if I don't too.
And I think I am someone really rational even if I collect things too. I will not spend hell of money in something even if I really want it for example. And I am rational in every thing else too.

I hope it help a little to understand the personality ^^.


For the attack part I will probably change, I was not really sure about how I can develop a magical attack still being senshi like.
But if witchcraft is a dangerous sphere I will change it I guess. I am still thinking about it too.  

[yoko lorako]

changed the character to go for a civilian ^^ crit welcome.  

[yoko lorako]

If possible I would like to be stamped redface  

[cibarium]

Nicely done so far, I'm digging that you made him passionate about the things he hates as well as the things he likes. XD I don't think I've seen that much!

I need more information on how his Rational trait works. It's good that you have examples, but how does his actual thought process go? Usually a rational person is someone who puts a lot of thought and logic into the things they do -- you could even link this up with Passionate better by saying he's sensible about how he expresses himself. c: I know I've kind of done that before when trying to put together a gift -- I wanted it to be something that genuinely reflected my feelings, and that took a fair bit of thinking about to figure out.

The one problem I have is the Naive flaw he has: how can someone be rational and naive at the same time? This needs a bit more explanation for it to work -- try to avoid "even though it contradicts X, he does Y" because that doesn't actually explain. You need to show us how his thought process and his actions make it possible for the two conflicting traits to coexist!  

[yoko lorako]

wahhh I was totally away from Gaia too long sweatdrop

Ok I will try to update with your crit
but for me being rational and naive is compatible. If I am naive about the "world" because I don't like to follow politics or I am daydreaming does it mean I can't be rational and put my belt when driving or don't leave something on fire in the house because I can burn it ?

if you take the definition from dictionary it is
rational

Definitions (3)
1. Behavior guided more by conscious reasoning than by experience, and not adversely affected by emotions.
2. Thinking process that employs logical, objective, and systematic methods in reaching a conclusion or solving a problem.
3. Person who is not mentally imbalanced or under the sway of overpowering emotions, can draw logical inferences, and is capable of normal mental process of weighing pros and cons of an action, choice, or decision. Opposite of insane. See also Reasonable.

For naive it is a bit long so I just put the link http://naivedefinition.com/

Naive is the person who does not try to predict something which he is not in reality. Such a person is very much true in all his acts and endeavours. Naive person never try to harm others. Such a person will always think for the betterment of all and not getting benefited by harming the feelings or emotions of people around him. Naive person believes others very easily. He would not get to know if somebody is trying to harm him or do anything wrong to him. Naive person will feel that everybody in the world is very simple and he does not try to act smart with anyone.


so I don't see why being naive and rational at the same time is not possible. I am naive, a lot of my friend tell me that, but I am rational at the same time because I know some things must not be done.

But I will try to develop more.

Soquili Teepee Soquili quest

 

[yoko lorako]

Update first post, if I can have new observation please ^^  

[Indubitably]

You've still got some issues here, primarily with his "rational" virtue and "naive" flaw.

I think you really mean to say he has common sense, or is practical. "If I do this, then this will happen," which works better with his flaws.

As for naive, perhaps you mean to say that he's Over-Trusting? As in, despite being rational about certain things, when it comes to people, he is eager to accept and like them, and therefore tends to trust them too soon, resulting in being manipulated.

Fix those things, and you'll have a stamp!  

[yoko lorako]

yes that is what I mean. I will update  

[Indubitably]

You made most of the changes, with one problem. In his over-trusting flaw, you say "Because he trusts people easily, some try to influence him to do bad things, but luckily because he is not stupid enough to do so," which cancels out the flaw. Remove that. The point of the flaw is that he DOES trust people enough to do things he shouldn't! If he won't fall for it, then it's not a flaw!

This is the last thing holding you back from a stamp.  

[yoko lorako]

Ohh true, I didn't see it that way ^^ thank you for telling me  

[Indubitably]