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Zanpakutō

•Name: Senmeishi-Kage {Vivid Death Shadow}

•Zanpakutō Element: Dark

•Sealed Appearance:Senmeishi Kage The hilt is a cross-hatching pattern of red and black. The blade itself is black. On the sharpest edge of it, it is blood red. Small, spidery veins of bloodred spread out across the entirety of the blade. The blade is 28.7 inches long, and slightly curved, giving it a menacing look. Senmeishi Kage has jagged edges, in order to draw more blood

•Zanpakutō Spirit:Senmeishi-Kage is not the usual lovely Zanpakuto spirit. It is in all essence, a demon. It seems to be made solely of muscle tissue, blood, and bone. It speaks in a raspy, dark voice, though in truth is very wise and thoughtful. Senmeishi Kage lusts for battle, and enjoys being able to be used to maim and kill. When Senmeishi Kage first showed himself to Takahashi, he was very violent. He would not negotiate, or even speak with her until she proved herself worthy. When he finally did, Senmeishi Kage accepted him into his midst. He gives him respect, though speaks as his superior, often ordering him to do something when they speak.

•Shikai:

•Release Command: Rain Down Blood, Senmeishi-Kage

•Physical Changes: The hilts of the twin blades are slammed together, and then in a flash of light, they form the double edged scythed. The handle of the scythe is totally black, and so is the majority of the blade. There are two indents on either side of each blade that are red, as well as the sharp edge. The edges of the scythes are jagged as well, once more to draw blood. Any blood brought forth by the scythe does not dilute in water. The attacks created from the scythe is not actually blood, but is regular reiatsu.

•Shikai Special Ability:
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•Shikai Abilities

•Kurai-Chi (Dark Blood)
The user's spiritual energy condenses into solid masses, taking on the form of the blade of the scythe. At the user's command they are released at the enemy. The blades look as if they burst out of the user, and seem to be made of blood. They are actually as sharp as possibly can be, and can split into smaller units. 6 blades can be created and controlled at once, and they can be divided six times. The blades fly through the air at the command of the user, and can alter their direction.



•Junsei-Chi (Pure Blood) The double sided scythe is spun like a baton, allowing the user's reiatsu to accumulate in the center. It takes on the appearance of ball of blood, and is then shot out in a straight line. This has been compared to an Arrancar's Cero. When the reiatsu hits the target, it rushes past them, covering as much of their body as possible. The opponent will suffer cuts from the blood, as if being slashed by a sword.

Chi-Toku (Blood Shield)A dense wall of blood, used as a shield is cast forth; it is able to regenerate itself by re-using fallen pieces of the blood or the blood around it. It is almost indestructible. It can’t block attacks from different angles; therefore multiple shields have to be used in order to guard multiple points. The shield is as large as the user

•Obtained?:Yes

•Bankai

•Extended Name: Cover the world in blood, Seinaru Senmeishi-Kage! {Sacred Vivid Death Shadow}

•Physical Changes:The scythe is offered up to the sky, and seems to explode into masses of blood. The user is granted a set of wings, fangs and claws, looking much more like Senmeishi-Kage. The user gains control of the blood, with the use of their hands. The power of the user is increased by 1/3 of their original, as well as their speed in the air. Any blood drawn from the attacks of the user does not dilute in water.

•Bankai Abilities:

•Chi-Hitoya (Blood Prison)
At the start of this technique, the user will point their sword at the enemy, and blood large enough to cover a basketball will launch out and chase the opponent. This technique ensnares the opponent's body with blood from the Bankai, it paralyzes the nerves in the enemy’s body, rendering it useless. Before the enemy’s body is ensnared by the blood, a strong enough attack can repel the blood away from the body. This technique can target specific body parts rather than the entire body of the opponent. The body can paralyze a limb/opponent for 3 posts.


•Shouten-Chi- Rein (Death Blood Rain)
Blood from the Bankai forms into clouds that create a dome around the user and the enemy (approximately fifty feet high and fifty feet wide). The clouds prevent anything from getting in or out of them. The clouds create millions small raindrops of blood within themselves; each one is as sharp as a sword. At the command of the user, all of the drops burst out of the clouds and strike the enemy from every angle. If the drops hit the user, they pass through the body and continue at the enemy. The clouds can be dispersed at the user's command. This technique takes up a lot of the user’s energy, so it should not be used excessively. The only technique that can be used during this technique is the Total Blood Loss technique.

•Youkai-Chi (Phantom Blood)
Blood ensnares the opponent in spiked bands. Specific limbs must be targeted. The bands dig into their opponent, and siphon the blood out of them the longer they stay on. The user can tighten the binds at will. The binds are attached to a chain, which the user holds. While this technique is being used, no other blood related technique can be used. Up to 5 enemies may be ensnared at once, and two bands on each target. The targets can be held for up to 5 posts. If there are 5 targets being held, they can only be held for 3 posts. By the last post, the opponents will be fatigued, and find it harder to fight and move around. They won't die, but will be slowed down.

•Soukei-Chi-Rosu (Total Blood Loss)
Blood from the Bankai is condensed into the form the original sealed form of Senmeishi Kage. Instead of cutting the body when it is used; blood is drained out of the body and added to the Bankai, however it does not change in size. If the enemy looses too much blood by this technique the enemy will die. Obviously. The pain while the blood is being drained is immense and also drains them of some their spiritual pressure on contact. 10 hits with the sword will draw enough blood out of a body to knock someone unconscious. With each hit, the opponent will begin to tire, and limbs will eventually go numb, due to lack of blood. By the 5th hit, they'll grow tired. By the 8th, their breath will not come to them as easy as normal. Also, with the 10 hits of the sword, the user will have sucked out enough energy to knock the opponent out of whatever unsealed state they are in, such as Shikai or Bankai

•Obtained?:No

OK... first off, by no means am I Japanese, but according to this website, http://nihongo.j-talk.com/kanji/ 素晴らしい 電源 does NOT mean Remoquez... I also have no idea where you get the "neutral" from either... it's no where to be seen when translated.

電源, according to that website, is dengen in Romaji, (1) source of electricity; electrical power (2) power (button on TV, etc.) So if your Zanpakuto was an electrical type, it might make more sense to use that word...

Perhaps you should go with, 恐ろしい風力発電, which when translated by that site means:

Also, what are the EXACT physical changes in the Shikai, just saying "The weapon gets large in width and height." is not descriptive enough; because than you could be toting around a 20 square foot sword like, "Herp derp, looka me! I gots a huge fraggin sword because I'm tryin' ta over compensate fer my anorexia."

I'm not being mean or trying to be degrading... I just think that realism needs to be a HUGE factor in making a profile. Along with being descriptive of the attributes of a sword's Shikai form.

Also, why does the sword become smaller in Bankai? What is the point in it; are you trying to take notes from Tensa Zangetsu; from where when Shikai, it's a HUGE sword, but in Bankai, it's a slightly longer Katana?

Back to talking about your Shikai, 恐ろしい竜巻, does not mean Create Miniture Tornado... I don't mean to keep coming back to the Japanese issue since I am terrible with it, but you don't do it any respect by not properly trying to use correct translations.

What does Archgigasto[r]m actually do? What would be the point in a tornado forming around his blade? Also, with a tornado ACTUALLY forming around the sword, Takahashi would have an extremely difficult time controlling his attacks, let alone trying to keep hold of his Zanpakuto.

Uloasus does not even make sense to me, I'm sorry, but the intent of this attack is just confusing.

Isn't Okama and Onami basically the same thing? And having the ability to cut through anything is never allowed in technique descriptions.

Cutzunoma is another technique that does not even begin to make sense. Why would Takahashi even begin to learn a technique that could leave him dead and only harm people who're only his equals?

I would also like to see more of a personality description...at least a paragraph or two.

Also, his biography has many plot holes. EXACTLY where was he found? Was it in Rukongai, if so what district? What rank was his mother? Why would she be allow to take in a child, let alone raise him herself? Being a shinigami has its responsibilities, so I don't see her Captain letting her keep the child publicly. And sneaking off constantly to raise a child would just be impossible, let alone child neglect IMO. Who is his target of revenge? The Captain Commander? A Hollow? Also, who was she kill by? Do you see my points that I'm trying to get at? This is considered an Advance Literate Role Play, and having so many problems with your profile, I'm afraid it is far from being acceptable. I know that you're still working on it, and hopefully FAR from being done, but I just hope that my constructive criticism helps. We don't try to be harsh to people here, we just want their best.

Please refer [here] for what a profile should at least try to look like before any is able to say "I accept."

Okay, so I was asked to come in and take a look at this. Though it really needs to be finished, with the skills and all. For now I'll just take a look into the Zanpakutou.

[1]The first thing I want to go towards is the shikai. You first call it a double edged Scythe, but then make it sound like a double bladed scythe. Is it one, the other or both?


• I guess what I am saying here is be more descriptive. Get someone to draw a picture of it for you if you can't put it into words well enough in your profile. I'm sure you have a friend who is good at art, or draw it yourself if you can. Or like I said just be more descriptive and clear with what it is.

[2] What is the point of the indent on the blade(s)? Is it like a blood groove along the blade(s)? Or is it simply aesthetic?


• Maybe not so important but its a question I asked myself so its something I would like to see answered in the profile.

[3] Separate the abilities from the physical changes as well. An ability like "Any blood brought forth by the Scythe does not dilute in water." is not a physical change.


• So get these separated and elaborate on them both. What is the point of the blood not diluting in water? It seems rather pointless to me since you say that any blood based attacks created by the scythe are not actually blood but reiatsu. Seems kinda boring to me to have a blood based Zanpakutou that doesn't actually use blood to fuel its power. I would either like to see something actually involving the ability to cause the blood to form together rather than dilute or simply get rid of it since it has nothing to do with any attacks.

[4] On to the attacks. You say right in the attack Dark Blood (which according to my sources should be Kurozunda Chi) that only six blades can be created and controlled at once, but then you say they can each be split 6 times. This takes you to controlling 36 blades when you say you can only control 6. So do the additional 30 simply follow a straight line when split from the original since you can't control that many or are they linked to the original and must follow the path of the original? Elaborate on this.

[5] Blood Shield I have a few problems with. First off how many shields can he create at once? Second, it being able to regenerate itself from itself is vastly overpowered for a Shikai, even possibly for a bankai. Thirdly, I don't like someone saying something is "almost indestructible" especially for a shikai technique. This technique needs to be fixed up.

[6] This is just an overall problem with your Shikai. Is it offensive based or defensive based or a mixture of both. Having a defensive skill on an offensive based Zanpakutou is fine, but if its offensive based then the defensive skill should be relatively weak in my opinion, I feel it is overpowered for something to excel at offense and defense. I think it should excel at one or the other. But if someone else disagrees with me on this point then I'll let this slide as long as the other problems are fixed.

[7] On to your bankai. First thing is first, be more descriptive.

[8]Secondly increasing everything by 1/3 is by far overpowered. Maybe a 10 point increase to each stat or a 20 point increase to 2 or 3 stats, but a 1/3 increase to all is a 33 point increase to every stat if each one is at 100. That puts you at a total stat increase of 396 points. My character gets 40 bonus points in Shikai and 80 in Bankai and even then our guild leader thought it could be a little much and only let me have it because she knows my skill level as a role player. So I would say 50, maybe 60 would be the maximum increase for you until you have proven yourself in the guild then we may allow more.

[9] Okay so my biggest problem with techniques is Death Blood Rain. It is completely and entirely overpowered. I don't even like this technique in the least, it sounds like you were aiming for it to be an auto-hit technique, I personally say it needs to be removed completely. If another member of crew can help you fix it then so be it, but I can not.

[10] Phantom Blood for it to stay the attack needs to be something like a sphere shot at the opponent that when it hits wraps around them and forms the spiked bands. Because right now it sounds like you were going for an auto-hit technique again. Fix it or lose it.

[11] Total Blood Loss, is okay to an extent, however the amount of strikes it takes to cause certain effects are going to vary based on the strength of the opponent and needs to be altered to that effect.

[12] Finish, finish, finish and fix. This is all.