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 Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:02 pm
The day-to-day journal of a pansexual genderqueer
Hello, just felt like making a journal. You can call me Kay, and I welcome comments and stalkers :3
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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:10 pm
I often feel isolated because of my sexuality (or lack of). Strangely, even more when around my gay friends. My friends consist of 90% of the GSA at our school, started two years ago by my good friend, "Kate". I have no problems with her, she's serious about equality and all that, but, you know, it's a little hard to always hear her talk about "gays and lesbians and bisexuals". Sometimes theres a transgender in there too sometimes, but never once have I heard her say "pansexual". With her being such an activist, I would assume she would fight for someone like me, right? Maybe she's just unaware. After all, she doesn't know. The only one who does is my best friend, whom I confessed to having a crush. No one else but her knows, but thats another story.
Friday is the day of silence, and I'm contemplating telling her to also "speak up" for Pansexuals. I dunno.
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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:13 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:42 pm
*peers through door*.....interests are piqued. I wish to learn more about Pansexuals. smile
Do you if 'Asexual' is still used these days? Apparently, I've arrived late the terminology party and some times people click their teeth at me when I try participate in conversations about sexuality, gender and orientation.
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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:59 pm
Welcome!
I know what it is, but I have an interest in the less known divisions of the Rainbow community. See? I say rainbow instead of LGBTQPAI cause I probably forgot something.
I thought I was asexual for the longest time (but, ya know, being 16, two weeks is forever xD) but for 5 months I was convinced I was asexual, and researched it on the internet. I don't know how I hear about it originally, though. I've heard it used once in my group of friends, thats it. Other words I've heard describe "lack of romantic and/or sexual desire" are nonsexual, aromantic, and sexual anorexic, however the latter is more of a severe anxiety of intimacy due to some sort of sexual or romantic trauma.
It's known and common enough that it has its own identifying symbols and a flag.
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 8:25 pm
The Rainbow community. I like that. Its sounds so friendly and playful. ^^
I see that definition of asexual on most of the sources I find: "lack of romantic and/or sexual desire"
I've been using it for the sake of using it because it beats than saying I'm straight, or bi or lesbian because I don't identify to any of those.
I've also seen that asexual is lightly defined as those who'd rather go for an emotional intimacy, which is why I use it. :/ but like I said its lightly said to be so and I lately I don't think it fits be all that well either.
I'm teetering between asexual or pan. 9-< I know I don't have to have ID with anything, but I just wish I could give an answer to people sometimes when they ask rather than shrugging and getting bugged about it for the next hour or days
@_@ its like deciding what college to go to after high school or what grad school or go to work after college. aha. Its so troublesome.
I found these two terms on Wiki, they're quite flowery.
panromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of any gender or lack of gender
transromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of variant or ambiguous gender
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:34 pm
Yeah, sexuality can be hard sometimes. Sometimes I envy the people that just knew they were gay from the age of 6 or whatever. When I was six I thought boys were assholes and girls were bitches. My sexuality has never been quite solid, but maybe it's just cause I'm a teenager.
I've seen it like you said, where some asexuals are just that, wanting just a pure romantic relationship with no sexual activity.
It's quite a fuzzy line, actually. For me, with my best-friend crush. I've known her for six years, learned her secrets and personality, really just her soul. I became attracted to who she was as a person, then just recently discovered that with that I became physically attracted to her as well. Does that make sense?
Haha, I found all my definitions on Wiki too xd
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Posted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 4:46 pm
Today was ok. Today was a good day.
My best friend was sad this morning, and I got to hold and comfort her. I liked that - being able to help her. Then afterschool I got to hang out with her and some other friends. It was so nice, being able to hang out for once.
I'd forgotten just how much I liked her. Like-liked her. But I can't think like that, she doesn't like girls and has a boy she fancies, even if she wont admit it. If all I can get is being her best friend, I'll take it. She makes me smile so much. She's the one who got me to eat candy and share a slushy with her Ah, well. Maybe I'll see her more over break next week.
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 5:39 pm
I am jealous of asexuals.
What I wouldn't give to not feel the desire for love.
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 5:49 pm
Kelai_Caberin
I've seen it like you said, where some asexuals are just that, wanting just a pure romantic relationship with no sexual activity.
It's quite a fuzzy line, actually. For me, with my best-friend crush. I've known her for six years, learned her secrets and personality, really just her soul. I became attracted to who she was as a person, then just recently discovered that with that I became physically attracted to her as well. Does that make sense?
Apparently there's a term for being physically attracted to only one person you're fond of. I forgot what it's called, though.
as to your most recewnt comment: I really don't know what I am. I both like and dislike both genders. Sometimes emotionally. Sometimes physically (though I find women to be more beautiful). I'm a person that doesn't believe in true love, but wants companionship (physical cmpanionship, also). And I can't seem to feel love. I've had crushes, but that's about it. So...I'm either asexual, pan, bi, or something else. XD
I like to call it "awesomesexual".
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 5:57 pm
DeathStarXII Kelai_Caberin
I've seen it like you said, where some asexuals are just that, wanting just a pure romantic relationship with no sexual activity.
It's quite a fuzzy line, actually. For me, with my best-friend crush. I've known her for six years, learned her secrets and personality, really just her soul. I became attracted to who she was as a person, then just recently discovered that with that I became physically attracted to her as well. Does that make sense?
Apparently there's a term for being physically attracted to only one person you're fond of. I forgot what it's called, though.
as to your most recewnt comment: I really don't know what I am. I both like and dislike both genders. Sometimes emotionally. Sometimes physically (though I find women to be more beautiful). I'm a person that doesn't believe in true love, but wants companionship (physical cmpanionship, also). And I can't seem to feel love. I've had crushes, but that's about it. So...I'm either asexual, pan, bi, or something else. XD
I like to call it "awesomesexual".
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 6:05 pm
DeathStarXII Kelai_Caberin
I've seen it like you said, where some asexuals are just that, wanting just a pure romantic relationship with no sexual activity.
It's quite a fuzzy line, actually. For me, with my best-friend crush. I've known her for six years, learned her secrets and personality, really just her soul. I became attracted to who she was as a person, then just recently discovered that with that I became physically attracted to her as well. Does that make sense?
Apparently there's a term for being physically attracted to only one person you're fond of. I forgot what it's called, though.
as to your most recewnt comment: I really don't know what I am. I both like and dislike both genders. Sometimes emotionally. Sometimes physically (though I find women to be more beautiful). I'm a person that doesn't believe in true love, but wants companionship (physical cmpanionship, also). And I can't seem to feel love. I've had crushes, but that's about it. So...I'm either asexual, pan, bi, or something else. XD
I like to call it "awesomesexual".  Do you mean demisexual?
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Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 11:58 am
Centipedes In Utero DeathStarXII Kelai_Caberin
I've seen it like you said, where some asexuals are just that, wanting just a pure romantic relationship with no sexual activity.
It's quite a fuzzy line, actually. For me, with my best-friend crush. I've known her for six years, learned her secrets and personality, really just her soul. I became attracted to who she was as a person, then just recently discovered that with that I became physically attracted to her as well. Does that make sense?
Apparently there's a term for being physically attracted to only one person you're fond of. I forgot what it's called, though.
as to your most recewnt comment: I really don't know what I am. I both like and dislike both genders. Sometimes emotionally. Sometimes physically (though I find women to be more beautiful). I'm a person that doesn't believe in true love, but wants companionship (physical cmpanionship, also). And I can't seem to feel love. I've had crushes, but that's about it. So...I'm either asexual, pan, bi, or something else. XD
I like to call it "awesomesexual". Do you mean demisexual?
I don't know, but I guess that can work, too. :]
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 7:25 am
Kelai_Caberin I am jealous of asexuals.
What I wouldn't give to not feel the desire for love. We get lonely sometimes though ;_;
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Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 5:08 pm
Hugel Kelai_Caberin I am jealous of asexuals.
What I wouldn't give to not feel the desire for love. We get lonely sometimes though ;_;
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