[BMC] One Step Closer To The Edge (Birhan + Ares) [FIN]

[kalindara]

It was starting. Their three main captives - the three they thought to be the best source of information - were all gathered in the one room, into Tanzanite's cell. In their varying stages of injury, all of them currently unconscious, they sat strapped in their chairs awaiting the whims of the Blood Moon Court. Ares had spelled out her plan earlier. The cadets and mercenaries had scurried off to carry out their orders and prepare for what Ares has named 'the purge'.

Starting...? No, perhaps it was more truthful to say it was finishing. The beginning of the end. The start had been some time ago. The kidnapping of the Negaverse agents? The first planning stages of Operation Rota? Perhaps even the formation of the Blood Moon Court itself. Where did one count the start of this madness? And where would the end of it be? Not with Ares' purge. No, their leader would not be content to let it end there. If Operation Rota was a success (and so far it had been), then there would be more days like this. More kidnappings and torture sessions. More weeks when they couldn't go home, couldn't barely rest before beginning the days of horror again. More, more, more... Ares would never be satisfied, Birhan was dismayed to realise. It made her sick to the stomach to see what Ares had become. To see what they all had become. The Blood Moon Court. Birhan herself.

Birhan couldn't do this again. Or rather, she could - so easily, too easily. There was a beast inside her, feeding on all this violence and bloodshed. Birhan couldn't let it take over, as it surely would if this continued. If she was feeling this, then surely so were the cadets and mercenaries. And though she had never done anything with her ISS status before, surely now was the time - she could use her status to prevent those further down the chain of command from becoming monsters, too.

For Birhan could finally admit to herself what she had seen in Ares at the end of Elysium. That brief flash of murder in her leader's eyes, as Ares went for Endymion's throat. And worse, the fires of greed burning behind that. For the Crystal, Birhan guessed. For revenge, for a Prince of Earth that Ares had already lost, for this poor substitute she had instead been faced with. Birhan sympathised, she really did. But she couldn't approve. Not any more.

So she planted herself outside the door to Tanzanite's cell. Though the one-way glass she had seen that Ares was not inside. So Birhan waited - troubled and apprehensive, but believing herself to be resolved - for Ares to appear.  

[Akina Tokuwa]

It was true – Ares never would be satisfied.

Even on the eve of this night, the culmination of weeks of planning, sleepless nights, and strenuous labor, the Captain of the Blood Moon Court did not feel pleased. She did not see the mound of information they had gathered, only those questions that continued to go unanswered. She did not see a crushed Tanzanite mumbling manically in a chair; she saw a girl who had more to spill. Already, Ares had begun to formulate a plan for their next attack. Already, she had begun to turn the wheels. She was a creature of improvement. She did not rest.

Phasing in from a mirror in the corner, Ares was surprised to see Birhan already outside of Tanzanite’s cell. “Birhan,” she said, stopping once her feet hit the concrete. “You’re early. The others won’t be here for another hour.” Ares was always early. Her presence here was hardly surprising.

The air was tight. Ares could feel it. She knew Birhan well enough to see when the girl had something to say. The Senshi of Smoke just wasn’t sure she had the patience to field the uncertainties of yet another member of their court. She had to remind herself time and time again that the only others in the faction who had faced a war before were parallels like her. It was something she found so easy to forget. For all their training, these White Moon senshi were green in the code of war. The Black Kingdom had not had the Negaverse, but they had their own monsters to fight. And then there was the business of their corruption… well, this was hardly the time to bring it up.

Taking a step toward the shorter girl, Ares tried to look casual. “How are you?” she asked. It was a doorway, and she was making the choice to open it for Birhan.  

[kalindara]

Birhan was glad the others weren't present. This sort of thing - a disagreement among ISS members - was best done without an audience. Whatever came of Birhan's arguments, it was better that the cadets and mercenaries didn't realise there was any dissent in the top ranks. See, Ares, Birhan was learning about warfare and strategy. Though it would be far too much to hope that Ares would be proud, considering what Birhan was about to do.

"I wanted to speak to you before everyone else arrived," Birhan began, steeling herself. This was in no way easy for her - all churning emotions and loyalties, even without taking into consideration her fear of her Ares would react. No one had ever doubted Ares before this. They'd followed her willingly, from the ISS down to the newest cadet. Any objections the ISS ever raised were merely tiny points about how a plan could be improved. Never had they outright disapproved, or voted against one of Ares' plans.

While Birhan knew that Ares cared for all the BMC members, the suddenly casual question struck her as very out of character. So, had Ares guessed what this was about? Perhaps Birhan wasn't the first one to have concerns over how Operation Rota was turning out.

"I'm worried."

Birhan paused, letting it sink in for both of them. Christ, she was really going to do this. It couldn't end well. (Though really, part of her brain asked, could it end any worse than with several people in the next room dead?)

"I know I agreed to this in the beginning. But the ways in which it's starting to effect people... cadets, myself... even you... I don't think anyone saw just how this would turn out."

Her fists clenched and unclenched as she spoke, a clear betrayal of her nerves. Birhan was doing her best to appear resolute and calm. Clearly that wasn't quite the case.

She took a deep breath. Braced for trouble, she stared Ares in the eye. "I don't like what we'll become if we go through with this... purge."  

[Akina Tokuwa]

Ares had worked with Birhan long enough to understand what kind of conversation this was going to be. She braced herself accordingly and was quietly thankful that this appeared to be a one-on-one chat. The newest of the Inner Sanctum also tended to be careful with her words. Ares appreciated this in their meetings, and she appreciated it now.

It didn't mean she agreed.

Gray eyes glanced to the floor before roaming back to Birhan's face. The Senshi of Smoke had sensed some hesitation within the ranks. She had even asked Nemesis to keep an eye out for anyone disobeying the protocol of the Negas' imprisonment. She had suffered through a terse conversation with Scylla about it and suffered the looks from some of the cadets. Even Gunn had expressed fatigue and exhaustion.

But Birhan? Ares looked at the girl as her protege, even if she tried to keep their personal and professional lives separate. She didn't expect Birhan to be one who would cross her. If she was being honest with herself... it kind of hurt.

"If we don't kill them now, what do you think will happen, Birhan? They will get out eventually, they will break free, or be broken free. They will run back to their evil leader and tell her about us, our strategies, our members. And then they will find us and kill us all in ways more cruel and violent than anything we have done to them." She tipped her chin upward. "This way, we will dispatch of them to clean up our mess, and we will gain priceless, vital information on the enemy in the process." It was win-win. Why did Ares feel like she was the only one who saw it that way?

"I know this is hard," she continued, a note of genuine concern tipping in her voice, "but we have already come this far. We can't stop with it only half-done. One more push, Birhan -- one more push, and we will have the entire Negaverse at our mercy."

Ares knew who she was. Nothing that would take place in that jail cell was going to change that. The question was... did Birhan?  

[kalindara]

The ISS, the Blood Moon Court, that was the one place Birhan had to be careful with her words. Because usually she was anything but. Acting and speaking before she thought, diving in headfirst, not caring if people liked her or called her names... Those were things that stood Ari Knight on firm ground. But for a member of the inner court of a senshi group, those same things were like quicksand, quickly sinking Birhan down from the position of power and respect that she held. She was the most junior ISS member - a base senshi, not even Super, and not one of Ares' trusted Black Moon senshi - and she had enough problems without sabotaging herself. It was why she was normally quiet in the meetings, going along with the others. Now she was unable to remain silent. For the first time, Birhan had to speak out against Ares.

It was hard. To pick the right words, the pretty words, the forceful words. To get her point across without offending, but still trying to make sure of the impact she wanted her words to have.

It was so much easier to talk with her fists and feet.

Like how right now, despite what Birhan had said, it seemed Ares didn't understand at all. Her face pained, Birhan said, "Ares... I'm not talking about the killing. I can see why that's necessary." She stared at Ares. Their leader really didn't understand, did she? How could Birhan expect Ares to modify her actions if Ares didn't even realise what she was doing?

"I'm talking about the torture."

The senseless beating of prisioners without asking any questions at all. The attacks random cadets and mercs made on captives, just because they could. And this plan, this shocking, terrible plan that Ares had devised for last.

"We're turning into monsters. And we're forcing the cadets and mercs to do things that... they shouldn't ever have to see. Let alone do."

Birhan's eyes begged for understanding. Yes, the Negaverse was terrible. They would do horrible, violent things to the senshi they caught.

"I thought the Blood Moon Court was about taking the fight to the Negaverse, about no longer being passive victims and waiting for some fairy tale princess to save us," Birhan said, fists clenched by her sides. "I didn't realise it was about becoming just like them."

Or worse, was the unspoken accusation. Both Birhan and Ares clearly heard it anyway.  

[Akina Tokuwa]

Ares might have preferred it if Birhan had approached her demanding a fistfight instead of a conversation. At least in that there could be a clear winner and a clear end. Lack of faith could pollute a mind, slowly sour it bit by bit and day by day. If she was going to lose Birhan, she didn’t want it to be a slow erosion. There was more at stake for Birhan than others might understand. The Inner Sanctum had a very simple method of leaving their ranks: death. It was part of the package.

This was not that sort of situation. Birhan came to express a concern to Ares, and that was what the ISS did. They talked to each other about the things they could not discuss with the Mercenaries, let alone the Cadets. The lines of communication had always been open, had been kept open. So Ares had no plan to rebuke Birhan for it… even if she was silently fuming to be questioned less than an hour before the plan was to be hatched.

“Without the torture, we would have no information, and without that information, there would be no purpose to Operation Rota,” she said.

The Blood Moon Court was always trying to kill Negas. It was one of their founding principles. But that had not been the sole purpose of this mission. It was an operation specifically designed as a means of gaining intelligence on the Negaverse faction. The deaths were simply a component of the final chapter of that goal.

Ares prickled at the wording that Birhan chose. More than one person had been throwing that language at her lately, and she was getting exhausted by it. “What is the main complaint we always say about most senshi?” She paused, but not long enough to actually allow an answer. “They’re disorganized. They lack the killer instinct to do what must be done. But do you know who isn’t disorganized? Do you know who doesn’t lack that instinct?” She paused again. Still not long enough. “The Negaverse.” One hand fell to her side in exasperation. “So why does everyone seem suddenly so goddamn surprised that there might be similarities between how our court does things, and how they do?” She scoffed, frustration welling in her chest.

Her shoulders squared, straightened. “We make a choice when we support one side over the other. I choose the senshi and so I fight for the senshi – that is what makes us different, that is what makes us just.” Ares was tired, beaten down. Her reserves of strength were depleted, and it chafed at her restraint. She felt angry at Birhan. She knew that the girl was only trying to say something that she believed was important, but Ares could not slip into that rational frame of mind, not then. The open lines of communication in the Inner Sanctum suddenly grew teeth.

“If you feel like fighting this war the way it has to be fought will corrupt you, then perhaps you don’t have the strength of character that I thought you did,” she said, gray eyes blazing.  

[kalindara]

"And we've gotten information, even if it's taken measures that I wish it hadn't come to," Birhan reluctantly agreed. It wasn't enough for Ares, though. The things they knew now - methods of communication, how the Negaverse ran things - Ares couldn't see what she had, only what she still had yet to possess.

"The information you want... I don't think we can get it." Birhan hated to admit it. It seemed like admitting defeat, or some fault of their own. But if there was anything she thought the Negaverse was willing to die for, it was each other. This entire operation had shown Birhan that the Negaverse were just as devoted to one another as any senshi group. "None of us would be willing to give up the civilian identity of another BMC member. Not under torture or pain of death. I think... the Negaverse is the same. If they even know."

For all the BMC knew, the Negaverse was just like their own faction. The people at the top knew who everyone else was. But the cadets and mercs - or Lieutentants and Captains, in this case - knew nothing of the identities of their fellow soldiers.

Ares accusation was a slap in the face, followed by a puch to the gut. Birhan jerked as if hit and some colour drained from her face. How could Ares say that, after everything Birhan had done for her, for the BMC, during this operation? How dare she-!? Birhan fought to keep a hold of her temper.

"If there is anyone close to corruption through the actions we have taken, and are still planning to take," Birhan forced out between clenched teeth, "it is not me. The corrupt have no need to worry for their souls, for blood on their hands. The corrupt barely notice such things."

The fact that Birhan worried about becoming a monster did not mean she would become one. It did not mean she was weak. (She hoped.) It meant her eyes were finally opening.

"This is beyond protecting civilians and senshi, this is beyond being a soldier. This is just cruel and inhuman. And say what you like about similarities or differences between us and the Negaverse," Birhan trembled, whether with anger, fear or tears, she could not say, "but I always thought that, despite our origins, we were the more human. What do was have going for us, if not that we are better than they are?"

And there it was. How could they claim that their side was right, if they were merely carbon copies of what they claimed to fight against? What were they doing, if not corrupting the cadets to believe that torture was necessary and right? That this sort of inhumane violence could somehow be justified?

This would turn them all into monsters. And even if Birhan could live with doing that to herself, she could not stand by and allow it to happen to those she was meant to be protecting. The Blood Moon Court was protecting the world from the Negaverse. But who was protecting the world from the Blood Moon Court?  

[Akina Tokuwa]

Ares stood there, holding her position while Birhan Isat spoke. She owed her that much. It was a sign of respect, not of compliance. This matter was not up for negotiation. They play had already been called. They were on the field. There could be no more time-outs.

Gray eyes seem devoid of emotion. "I don't have time to remind you of our purpose, or the oath that you swore, or why we are different than the other senshi and why that is a good thing," she said coolly. There was disappointment in her voice and the pressures of two weeks of near-sleepless nights and unending stress. Ares was a walking zombie. She had lost her capacity for tact. "I don't doubt my humanity, and I don't doubt my purpose. Either stand beside me, or rebuke our entire Court when we need you most. The choice is yours."

One palm flashed upward. "This conversation is over," she said, eyes weary and full of spite. "I don't have time for this, Birhan. I just..." Ares sighed, shook her head. "Not now. Not right now." She couldn't show weakness, not even to Birhan. So, instead, Super Sailor Ares simply turned on her heel and walked into Tanzanite's cell without another word.  

[kalindara]

Birhan's mouth thinned. This wasn't the response she'd been hoping for. It seemed Ares was willing to tolerate Birhan speaking up - just barely - but not willing to listen or consider. Worse still was that Ares only seemed to hold Birhan in contempt for the opinion the junior senshi held.

She sighed as Ares stalked past her into the cell. That had gone about as well as she'd expected. She rubbed a gloved hand across her brow. If only she was a Super Senshi, or in charge of an important branch of the BMC like Gunn... Would her words carry more weight then?

Perhaps not. Ares was set on her course, and even if it took her (and all the other BMC members) straight into Hell, there was no dissauding her.

"Ares," Birhan murmured, with no one left to hear, "I may be worried about myself and the cadets, but the person I'm most worried about... is you."

Like Lucifer himself, Ares' pride would damn her. Birhan hoped that their leader wouldn't drag too many of them down with her as she fell. Birhan's brain screamed that she should get out, abandon the BMC, disappear... But her heart was a loyal one that couldn't stand to let go of someone she cared about so deeply.

Knowing she was likely walking herself to her own eventual and inevitable destruction, Birhan followed after Ares. If she couldn't stop her leader, Birhan would at least give her some company on the way down.