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Ok, much needed real life post right now. Didnt want my diary to be one like that but man I need it. Ive had an aweful week and of course it had to be my vacation time. My Nana and my mom got into a fight and my Nana isnt really the youngest thing anymore, so thats had been stressed for a freaking week. Her heart can handle the stress and I dont want to lose her over something so stupid over an arguement. My home life is just becoming too much for me to handle with chores and trying to balance out school work, I feel like I'm going insane. I come home everyday clean the house, make the food, do laundry, get my brothers from school, feed them, clean up again, and I'm just going bonkers doing it all by myself. Along with my most recent woes, I just cant do this anymore. I honestly dont know whats happening to me right now. My chest aches and I'm crying and all I want to do is sleep for a long time. I'm not sure I even wanna wake up. But I cant sleep right now and its about 4:30 in the morning. Been up all night crying and finally went to bed an hour ago, woke up again out of a dead sleep and... I just want to cry but I'm scared if I do I wont be able to stop. I dont even know why I wrote this. I just sick and ashamed, I want to delete it but I cant. I think I just wanted people to see this for some cracked up reason. I feel like I needed to share something and get all this s**t off my chest, I have no one to talk to and this felt like the only way I could do it without too much judgement. I feel there is so much more there still weighing me down but I just dont want to say anymore. More then likely I'll come back over this and label it as an OOC post but right now I'm just too uncaring. No, in fact I'm rather inspired. Since I cant sleep due to this unfortunate event known as my life, I'll make the best of it by doing completely random stuff to occupy my time until its time to get up to go to school. I'll prolly update my characters profile or do this up nicely. Anything to take my mind off things. Hell, I might even start up a guild depending on how I feel. Well I guess thats it for this post. A little warning, since I feel a little eh Aludra will be somewhat depressed as well. Might as well play into my stronger emotions at the moment, and it may result in a story twist!
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