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Name: Virgil Barbara Adams JR.

Nickname: Barbie is the name he prefers to be called/will introduce himself as. His dad goes by Virgil and the family has always called him Barbie

Age: 22

Birthday: April 24

Sign: Taurus - and it's fun to think about

Gemstone: Diamond

Blood Type: O +

Fav. Food: Home made spaghetti and meatballs

Hated Food: Fastfood - Chicken Nuggets to be exact

School: Destiny City University

Hobbies:

Volunteer Work - Not only does it look good on a resume, but Barbie feels a great sense of accomplishment with helping out in the community. He feels a bond of comradery with the city when he helps. When the severe weather and snow hits in December he is out and about shoveling the elderly's sidewalks and driveways. He can be found every Wednesday afternoon at the soup kitchen attached to his church cooking and socializing with patrons. He also visits the senior center and plans charity dinners for local organizations. He gets to strut his culinary stuff when he works in the kitchen

Going to the theater, he loves to go to shows, and will travel to do so. He has self that he displays programs, tickets, and memorabilia on in his living room.

Virtues:

Silver Tongue - Easily able to express himself in an effective manner. Barbie doesn't get tongue tied, he knows what to say and when to say it. Barbie loved the debate team in high school. Virtue because he can easily get his point across, this has some draw backs (tying into his naivety), when he doesn't know too much about the subject. He can come up with enough, to muddle through and come out on the other end.

Conscientious - This goes hand in hand with his flaw severe. He has a set way of right and wrong that was instilled in him at a young age by his mother and father. He was raised to be a good upstanding citizen and by golly he's going to do it. He always washes his hands before dinner, and prays before bed time. Barbie is dedicated, to an extreme (almost driven by zeal) to be the best young man he can.

Friendly/Good Natured - Oh man, isn't this a cliche? But it's true, he's all around kind and pleasant. His feelings can get hurt easily because of this, he doesn't understand unwarranted hatred, or being rude to someone that you don't even know. He's warm, affectionate, and welcoming.

Flaws:

Naive - The only awful thing to happen in Barbie's life has been his mother passing, other than that he has led a very sheltered life. Barbie has never been drunk, high, gone to a party. The naivety does not manifest itself in juvenile behavior, mostly things can go over his head easily when talking about more "adult" subjects. He's not going to know what to do in dire situations, if there's a fight, he's coming out of it with a bloody nose and on the losing end.

Severe - this definition: "rigidly exact, accurate, or methodical." Not even Barbie's handwriting is sloppy, he likes things done exactly, to a tee. He expects this of others as well, especially those he has to work closely with. Barbie will lose a lot of respect for others that are not well kept and clean if they have the means to do so. He cannot continue on with a task until one is done to the best of his abilities.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Green

Hair: Natural Red, think Ron Weasley. Style is up to colorist, something more conservative probably.

Face: Round face, larger eyes for his face (not strangely so). Lots of freckles.

Skin color: Pale , most of his body is covered in freckles with varying degrees of largeness. He burns easily.

Clothes: Vests, business casual. Favorite color navy blue, doesn't own many pairs of jeans. Lots of Khakis. Turtlenecks if the weather is right. You would not catch him dead in the summer with shorts on, he just doesn't dig them.





History/Random Info:

- Only child, born to older parents - Mom passed away from natural causes, Dad's retired in Florida - Barbie's trying to teach him to use Facebook and Skype to keep in touch, with no avail.

- Barbie's end goal and dream is to go to seminary school and become a priest, but he's got a lot of growing to do. He wants a bachelors degree in nonprofit management before heading that way.

- Family was an Easter and Christmas Catholic family -nothing too notable, rarely went to church.

- Mom's death hit him hard and he really turned to the church for support two years ago.

- He has two most valued possessions - the family bible and his mother's cook book.

"The Biblical account describes the Israelites being led by Joshua and crossing the Jordan into Canaan where they laid siege to the city of Jericho. There God spoke to Joshua telling him to march around the city once every day for six days with the seven priests carrying ram's horns in front of the ark. On the seventh day they were to march around the city seven times and the priests were to blow their ram's horns. This Joshua did, and he commanded his people not to give a war-cry until he told them to do so. On the seventh day, after marching around the city the seventh time, the priests sounded their ram's horns, and Joshua ordered the people to shout. The walls of the city collapsed, and the Israelites were able to charge straight into the city. The city was completely destroyed, and every man, woman, and child in it was killed. Only Rahab and her family were spared, because she had hidden the two spies sent by Joshua. After this Joshua burned the remains of the city and cursed any man who would rebuild the city of Jericho would do so at the cost of his firstborn son." - Wikipedia Source, Clear concise sum up.



I just want to torture him.

It's a story of faith and trusting in God, I think it sort of coincides with Barbie as he works, and his core being. Barbie has a great deal of faith. It's a biblical story - a myth, so it falls in the domain that knights reign. Because it's a biblical story it'll help Barbie make that extreme leap of faith from what he knows into the Senshi/Negaverse/Knights way of life.

He will be very rattled by all things Senshi, Negaverse, and Knights. They don't fit into the neat little package he calls his beliefs and he will sincerely have to compartmentalize, and agonize over becoming a knight, and where to set that in regards to his faith.



One of the things under Uranus is Bravery, I think that Jericho/the story of took a lot of bravery from the priests with the arc and trumpets to circle around, and to wait, and wait for someone to tell them when to strike.

If you think something else is better by all means suggest.

heart

ON THE CIVILIAN:

The hobbies are super minimal, and you are selling yourself short. Hobbies are one of the best places to really define how your character is unique. A lot of people are patient, but less are also diehard Trekkies who go to conventions monthly. "Cooking" is a really common hobby across profiles. I recommend either making it more specific, or swapping it out for something that can achieve the same goal you have for the hobby without being as typical. "Volunteer Work" is also too vague. What kinds of volunteering does he do? Is he going to Africa to work with tribes, or is he doing Relay for Life? There is a big difference between those two, and you should define that clearly.

The profile is a little on the sparse side, in general. You can definitely get a profile approved with only two flaws, but if you want to fully flesh out Barbie, it might be prudent to be more descriptive about his personality in the provided space.

For the virtues, they all blend together into an image of an upstanding gentlemen. This is fine, normally, but it reads as very generic to me because of the lack of detail given. Look at this virtue:



This trait could be pasted on a hundred profiles. There is nothing about it that distinguishes Barbie, and when it comes to winning contests, that is a bad thing.

Choosing to go by "Barbie" as a male is definitely a choice he can make -- but what sort of character traits led him to decide to go by this name instead of Virgil? Is he attention-seeking? Does he like to feel different? It is a really unique name to choose to have people call you, especially as a 22-year-old man. I think this should tie into his profile somewhere. Right now, it is sort of just this red herring floating around with no explanation.

If we move on to the flaws, I think you are missing his biggest weakness. You write his as the loving boy who is just a bit naive and a little too organized, but that is a very generic trope to write. What is the thing about him that is debilitating? What part of him is the one that just destroys things: be it opportunities or friendships? Get to the root of that and then write it out so that we can understand exactly what makes Barbie tick. Why does he live so far from his parents? This could be a source of more flaws/virtues for him.

I think you need to open him up and ask yourself what makes him different from other kind, organized, naive boys and then bring that to the forefront of your profile. Right now, my biggest complaint is just that there is not enough information about him here, and then what is given is really only given vaguely and in the broadest of terms.

ON THE KNIGHT:

The weapon sounds good to me. The magic of Uranus should be centered around air, speed, and bravery. As for his proposed Squire magic, it sounds more like a power that would come from Mars, since 'spirit' is one of their focuses. I think you should restructure the buff so that it focuses on increasing either speed or bravery since that would fit more with the planet you are aiming for. Make sure, when you clarify it, that you are very explicit about what the buff does. Don't just say they are buffed; say how. Do they suddenly feel twice as excited about the fight? So they suddenly lose all hang-ups about battle? Try and make it as clear and specific as possible.

Right now, the magic is too vague as well. Make sure you list a duration, how the magic is cast, how the magic is maintained, how many people it can affect, and how is can be blocked/stopped by an opponent when you revise.

Hopefully this critique has helped get your creative juices flowing!