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 Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 9:48 am
He couldn't sleep.
He had tried. Tried for what seemed like hours. However, instead of the blissful grasp of slumber that he craved so badly, all Ren got was a headache and sweat from tossing and turning for several hours. His back was aching; the tingling feeling he had experienced when he had first exited the portal had grown stronger, though not nearly as strong as the sensations in his right hand. It almost felt as if the skin were burning, and though Ren had packed it with ice several times, the burn would not dissipate.
And his thoughts. They were twisted, convoluted, filled with black images of knives and hooded figures, hallucinations, madness, his parents, Gabrian, Alessa, LW...and Jove.
Ren had not found Jove yet. He had tried. Run around the ghost dorms for at least an hour searching, but to no avail. Knowing his three closest friends were alive was precious to him, but not knowing if Jove was alive was driving Ren crazy. He needed to see his little brother.
Pushing himself upright, Ren pressed his hand to his forehead, closing his eyes briefly. The others were all asleep around him, LW and Alessa on the pillow pile, heads tucked together, Gabrian's enormous serpent form curled around both of them. They had all agreed to not let each other out of their sights for a long, long time, but Ren was desperate. And this desperation clawed at his throat, made his head spin.
Sliding from the bed, Ren staggered towards the doorway, his footsteps light and silent as he slipped out the door and down the hall. He did not walk fast, nor loudly; on the contrary, it was almost as if he were calm.
Back to the ghost dorms again. He had to know if Jove was still alive, and it couldn't wait any longer. Cradling his burning hand against his stomach, Ren pushed open the doors to the building. He knocked on several - and got several disgruntled, irritated rejections of "Wtf? There is no Jove here! It's the middle of the night, go to sleep!"
It didn't particularly bother him. Instead, Ren simply nodded and moved on to the next door. This went on for quite a bit until, at one door, there was no answer at all.The person who lived next door to this room had pointed him here, saying that yes, it was the puppy's room, no he didn't know if he was in there, and by the way, could you please not wake him up again if he wanted to live? Ren was not entirely sure if the boil had just been trying to get rid of him, or whether he was telling the truth, and Jove actually did live there. It would not hurt to try, though, so hesitantly Ren quietly pushed open the door.
And there he was. Ren stood there for a moment, staring down at the small form of his "little brother," curled up asleep on his bed. He felt..well, Ren wasn't entirely certain what he felt. Relief? Exhaustion? Gratefulness? Whatever it was, Ren was overwhelmed by it, though he didn't show it. Closing the door behind him, Ren padded silently across the room until he was standing beside the puppy's bed. Jove's face was bruised, and his breathing seemed a bit rough, his hair tangled and touseled, but he was alive.
The bed creaked when Ren sat down beside him, reaching out a hand to gently brush away some of the stray strands that had fallen across Jove's face. He didn't try to wake him; Jack knew the poor boil needed all the sleep he could get, so instead Ren just sat there, his fingers quietly stroking the boil's hair.
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 10:16 am
Jove had not been entirely conscious since the fight with that reaper, and the attacks and swords, and impaling, and fright that had accompanied it. Perhaps it had been a mercy that he had been struck the way he did, the stalactite crashing down and crushing his little body, knocking him out yet not sending him into the aether and back to awareness. He hadn't had to deal with the overwhelming emotions from a second death, and missed the tearful reunions and the shock of reconciling being back at school after that horror.
So when he started to wake, the first thing he felt was gentle fingers through his hair, and for a minute it was normal. Like any day, waking from a nap to his older brother's annoying affections. Except... things felt wrong.
It came back to him with a start, all the memories of the fog and the fear and those terrifying people in black cloaks and coats, and he opened his eyes in a panic. It was so dark that he almost pulled away from the figure looming over him, but his body wouldn't listen. Then he was able to make out the figure's features. And familiar freckles dark against his skin. It was Ren...? But... Ren wasn't there at the end, there were only a handful of them left, and Ren wasn't with them...
The pup's eyes hardly glowed in the dark the way they used to, but it was just enough to show his confused, pained expression Jove made no sound, but he felt as though he was about to break inside. Ren was right here with him, not dead, or missing limbs, or turned inside out... He tried to reach up with one hand, but his left arm wasn't working quite right, and his side twinged and ached in painful ways. His right arm was trapped under the blankets. All he could do was just stare, and hope with all his might that this was really Ren here, and they hadn't both died somewhere on that cursed island.
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:33 am
He hadn't meant to wake Jove, but the boil started under his fingers, his small body jerking abruptly, eyes wide, a flash of fear crossing his face. Ren's hand stilled, and he nearly pulled back, especially when he saw that look - that pained expression - on Jove's face. It very nearly broke his heart, and at the very least, it made him swallow hard. He didn't want to admit, either to himself or Jove, that he had failed his younger brother, that he had let himself stupidly get killed and had not been able to protect Jove the way he wanted to, the way he was supposed to.
"Are you all right?" Ren asked him quietly, his voice the only sound in the darkness of Jove's room. "Are you hurt?"
A stupid question; it was obvious something was wrong. Shifting on the bed, Ren pulled back the covers, his movements slow and one-handed. He tugged carefully at Jove's pajama shirt, moving it up so that he could see the bruise he knew ran along the boil's left side. It looked swollen and heavy, the dark, purplish green color a stark and horrifying contrast to the pale skin Jove had. His fingers moved very lightly over the mark, but he couldn't look at it for more than a few seconds before he had turn away, nausea rising in his throat. Pulling Jove's shirt back down, Ren moved to check Jove's arm.
"Does it hurt?" he asked him softly, and very carefully, with a significant bit more energy than usual, Ren lifted Jove off the bed just enough to shift him over. It hurt probably both of them; Ren's hand protested, a shooting pain traveling up his fingers, but he gritted his teeth and ignored it, climbing into the bed and moving to lay beside Jove. He pulled the boil against his chest, not caring whether or not the puppy would protest; he just wanted to feel that he was alive (so to speak), that he had not disappeared.
"I missed you."
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:55 am
Jove didn't reply to Ren's questions, with words, or even his expressions like usual. He took stock of the damage at the same time Ren did, feeling pain radiate through his side as he once again tried to reach out and just touch the older boil, and make sure he was really there, and not just some sort of fog-based hallucination.
His eyes closed in pain and relief when Ren touched him first. It really was him... The pup lay as still as he could for the rest of the inspection, it was easy to just stay limp and pliable as he was moved. Lying on his one side was more comfortable, yes, but the bruised skin along his ribs had opened up to ooze dark blood, and he still couldn't quite lift his arm to touch Ren's face or hands, it seemed like it was damaged up near the shoulder. His left ear seemed to flop uselessly. The last thing he could remember was something striking him down, crushing him against the floor, another chunk of rock that had killed other students before him. What happened to him after that?
It was terrible, that moment before Ren pulled him close, and he could let his forehead rest against the boil's chest. He could see the pain in his friend's eyes and knew of nothing to make it go away. So he just lay there and let Ren's warmth seep into his cold little body, his good hand slowly grasping a handful of the boil's shirt as though trying to say he missed Ren too.
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 12:09 pm
It had started to bleed; Ren could smell the familiar, sickening scent of metal and copper fill the air, and he closed his eyes briefly, shaking his head as if to clear it. Reaching around Jove, Ren pulled one of his pillows towards him, shaking off the pillowcase. It was not the best, nor was it particularly big, but it would have to do for now. Gritting his teeth, Ren lifted Jove's shirt again, pressing it against the boil's bruised side in an attempt to staunch the flow of blood. Fortunately it was not bleeding much, but it was still enough to be worrisome, and Ren kept it there for a while. After a few moments, he dared to let go, but kept the cloth pressed up against Jove's side. His hand raised to rest on top of Jove's head, fingers gently sifting through the puppy's soft hair.
I won't tell him that I died, Ren thought, closing his eyes, but he had the feeling that Jove had already suspected he had. Small fingers were gripping his shirt, and it made Ren feel more comforted in the dark. He did not smile; it was too painful to smile, but he pulled Jove closer, wishing he could make the pain go away, wishing he wasn't feeling so pathetic, so useless.
"I don't want you to disappear on me again, okay?" Ren whispered, though he knew it was he, not Jove, that had been the one to leave first. He had left Jove, left him to go find the others. He could not quite forgive himself for that. I left him, in more ways than one.
One of his wings shifted out from beneath him, curling around both of them, as if sheltering them from the rest of the world. Jove's bed was not that big; it was at least a size smaller than Ren's, so it was slightly cramped, but Ren did not care. All that mattered was that his little brother was still here. Hurt, yes - probably traumatized, but here.
He did not want to think about the sort of things Jove had seen while they were away from each other. No, he did not want to think of them at all, if they were anything like his own experiences.
His chest hurt. Ren could not think of anything to say.
"I wish I could have been there for you," was all that came out, followed closely by "I'm sorry, Jove."
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 7:48 pm
If the pup's face hadn't been tucked against Ren's chest, the older boil would have seen the silent wince as his tender side was pressed on. It could have been worse, he could have had broken ribs instead of bruised ones, but how had it happened? He had been struck on the back, fuzzy memories slipping through his mind in bursts, his side should have been fine...
He pressed his forehead firmly against Ren's chest, his one working ear flicking back against the pillows. Although the pup had no idea how messed up Ren's internal dialogue was getting, the words that were said were just like when he ran off. But this time he had stayed back with the others instead of running ahead, and hadn't been able to keep anyone safe. They were just... gone now...
Jove's hand tried to tighten on Ren's shirt, but the heavy feeling was weighing him down, and making it hard to move. Ignoring the pain for a moment he wiggled up and sighed against Ren's neck, before giving him a chaste little puppy kiss on the underside of his jaw. It was simpler than words, but to Jove it was a gesture that meant Ren had nothing to be sorry for, because he was here right now and that's all that mattered. With that accomplished he let himself succumb to the weakness in his limbs, and relaxed against his friend.
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 8:12 pm
Ren lifted the hand fingers stroking down one of Jove's fluffy ears - the one that wasn't flopped back against his head with what Ren assumed was a painful injury. He hadn't checked Jove's head for any bruising, but by the looks of it, at least one of Jove's ears was messed up somehow. Ren let out a low sigh, exhaling slowly. He opened his mouth to say something, but Jove shifted, lifting his head, and Ren felt cool breath against his neck, then a butterfly light kiss tucked against his jaw. Jove's nose poked against him before the puppy curled back against his side.
It was not words, but then communication didn't always have to be in words; Ren had long since learned that. At first he had thought he could get Jove to speak, that he would be the one to make him say things verbally, but right now, at this moment, Ren had pretty much lost that desire. Jove was who he was, and Ren liked him that way. He did not need to hear Jove speak aloud to understand what he was saying.
"I'm still sorry," Ren said softly. "Even if you forgive me - which you shouldn't - but I am. I'm your big brother - self appointed, of course, but I am. And that means I've promised to protect you - but I didn't. I wasn't there for you."
His throat constricted. For a moment Ren stopped talking, breathing slowly, calming himself. Shifting a bit on the bed, he moved his hand to the pocket of his pajama pants. His fingers grasped something small and round and he pulled it out, clenching it tightly in his palm for a moment. He had grabbed it on the way out of his room, almost on impulse, and even now he was unsure if he should even do it.
Ren's conscious wore out. Reaching down, he lifted Jove's hand from his chest, turning it palm upwards. "For you, little brother," he said quietly, and pressed his emblem into Jove's hand. "You don't have to give me yours back, but this is my promise to you that I'll always be there for you - even when you don't want me to be," he added, with a faint hint of wryness to his voice.
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 8:50 pm
Jove's eyes closed as Ren talked to him, soothed closer to sleep by his friend's voice even though he was bothered by the sadness he heard. They had both made their decisions on that terrifying trip, and would live with those actions for the rest of their time in existence, but neither of them could know how things might have gone if they had stuck it out together. A little shudder ran through him... What if Ren had been right there with him, and he had fallen off the bridge with Seiji, or was impaled during that frightening battle along with Junko? The pup wouldn't have been able to stand it.
If his thoughts had taken a turn for the worse, Ren was right there to distract him with some thing small placed in his palm. His glowing eyes opened, casting a dim light against Ren's chest as he glanced down at the little emblem in his hand. It was... important. He wanted to treasure it, hold it tightly so he didn't lose it, but he could barely close his hand around it.
He reached out painfully with his other hand and sort of managed to grasp Ren's shirt as his eyes closed again. That sounded more like the gryphon he knew. With one last little sigh he gave in to the exhaustion and drifted off to sleep.
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 9:04 pm
There was a soft, dim glow of light as Jove opened his eyes again. They were not nearly as bright as they had been before; it made Ren slightly sad, and his fingers tightened a little around the boil's slim shoulders. How long would it be until any of them were as they had been before? It was impossible; Ren knew this, deep inside. It was impossible to return to how things had been before, not after he had gone through everything on that Jackdamned island. No, he could not pretend that it had not happened - it had, whether he liked it or not, whether he wanted to remember it or not, it had happened.
Ren shifted, settling himself more comfortably on the bed. No position was entirely perfect, not with his back aching the way it did, but with Jove beside him, he felt aeons better. Just knowing the puppy hadn't dissipated, that he hadn't disappeared, was good enough for right now. He liked feeling Jove's small hand resting on his shirt, his fingers relaxing as he succumbed to the sleep the both so desperately needed, but were afraid of getting. Although, right now, Ren felt all right. His hand still burned, and he was in a lot of pain - both physically and mentally - but he was okay. He was alive, and so was Jove - so to speak.
Ren laid his chin against the top f Jove's head, breathing in his scent as his own eyelids began to flutter. He did not know what his dreams would be like tonight - perhaps he would be fortunate enough to not receive any black nightmares, but he very much doubted this.
But he had Jove. And he had his two best friends and his ghoulfriend. That should be enough, right..? At least...for now. Ren curled up beside his little brother, closed his eyes, and let the sleep overtake him.
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 9:27 pm
The pup slept soundly for most of the night, only waking from his dreamless sleep on occasion to wonder if a dream was all this was. In the dark of his room, with Ren's body blocking out whatever glow his mushrooms produced, it was hard to tell if the island had been a dream, or if he was still there and sleeping, or if he had really just died and was trapped in oblivion. Since it was like trying to think through several cotton balls crammed into his head, he gave up every time and drifted back to sleep, his grip on Ren's shirt renewed.
When he finally woke in the morning, the room had lightened to what amounted to a grey dawn. An artificial light down in that little tomb perhaps, but light all the same. The disorientation of waking up safe and sound in his own bed hit the pup hard. It was so normal, but most of his friends were gone, and everything that seemed as it was had been turned completely upside down. A numb feeling sank into him as the memories came back unbidden.
He closed his eyes again and pressed his head firmly against Ren's chest, wanting nothing more than all if his thoughts to just go away. If only he could disappear too, so he didn't have to think about it all.
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 10:50 pm
Ren did not really sleep. Instead he dozed in fits and spells, waking up every few hours, restlessly tossing his head from side to side like an irritated stallion. He dreamed no nightmares, but he also dreamed no pleasantries; instead all his thoughts were was a tangle of darkness, of blackness without any end. Rather than be scary, it unnerved him, made him feel as if his nerves were on edge.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, Ren fell asleep for real, though it did not very long. When he woke again, for the last time, the room was dim, merely a dull grey rather than sunny and bright. For a few moments Ren just lay there, feeling Jove's small body, warmed from his own, against his side, the puppy's face pressed into his chest. It was like any other morning - quiet. Simple. Normal.
Except it wasn't. Ren knew that, knew it all too well. The memories of the previous day slammed into him with the force of a javelin, and Ren closed his eyes briefly, inhaling sharply. No, he did not want to think about those memories, he did not want to see the blood or the devastated expressions. Nor did he want to see anything else than what he was seeing now, curled up with his little brother: quiet solitude.
Ren nosed Jove's hair, breathing in the scent of him, the very Jove-ish feeling he brought. His tail flopped across his legs, flicking upwards absently.
Why can't we just...go back to how things were? Ren thought to himself as he looked down at the puppy. Why can't we just...make everything that happened UNhappen.
He did not wake Jove. Instead, Ren settled himself more comfortably on the bed, his good arm around the puppy's tiny shoulders as he tugged him close, closing his eyes again. He was not going to sleep once more, but right now he did not mind just simply...laying there, listening to himself breathe and the faint sounds of the students around the room.
No, Ren thought. No, I'll lie here and pretend the world doesn't exist. I'll lie here, in this one moment, with Jove, until I have to get up.
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Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 8:06 am
When he felt Ren nuzzle the top of his head, that was when Jove knew the other boil was awake too. On any normal day the gryphon would want snuggles, and breakfast, and possibly cookies before breakfast, but Jove had no cookies in his room, and his bed was very tiny... And was this the first time Ren had even been in his room? The pup thought he should have been surprised, but the emotion didn't quite break the numbness surrounding him.
He didn't know if Alessa was alive or dead, or whether there would ever be any more cookies... Jove's mind strayed to his other friends, the ones he had seen die, and the ones he hadn't seen at all, and his bad arm twinged as he firmly clutched Ren's shirt in his hand. Why hadn't he used his good hand again? It was...
The emblem. That was it. The little ghost tightened his other hand, feeling the small, circular object still safely nestled into his palm. He should have felt happy, but in his current mood all he could think about was how unpleasant it would have been to have lost it while he slept.
Finally he opened his eyes and glanced up towards Ren's face, his own expression blank and slightly haunted.
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Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:57 pm
Jove was waking up; Ren could feel his skinny little body moving, shifting as the boil dragged himself out of the heavy throes of sleep. And now that it was getting to be morning (How did he know that, anyway? There were no windows in Jove's dorm, yet the room was lighter than it had been the night previous; odd), Ren could see the fixtures of the room more clearly. Overall, it was not a particularly big room, but it was not tiny either; a pleasant size, comfortable and cozy. The walls were done in muted blues and greys, both calming and quiet, with tiny pinstripes that were barely visible, but that gave the walls a nice depth. The four-poster bed was small, slightly cramped, but had enough space for Ren to snuggle down next to the puppy, and the blankets were soft and fluffy. The carpeting, from what he could see, was very thick; it was the kind of carpet that made one want to take off their shoes and wriggle their toes in it.
Jove's fingers clenched in his shirt. Ren tilted his head down to look at him. "Morning, sleepyhead," he said, brushing his hand across Jove's head absently. "I hope you slept better than I did."
The look in Jove's eyes was unpleasant; dark and empty, as if haunted by something Ren could not see. He did not like to see his little brother so...vague. So unlike himself. It unnerved him, made his heart clench painfully.
His hand moved briefly to Jove's side before he carefully extracted himself out from beside the puppy, moving to stand beside the bed. Ren held out his arms to the other boil.
"Do you have a bathroom?" he asked. "Or one that you use? We should get you cleaned up; come on."
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Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:56 pm
Jove's one good ear twitched under the petting, and he held onto Ren's shirt for as long as possible before the gryphon pulled away. Was he leaving? The pup felt a sharp stab of fear run through him before Ren held out his arms. Oh... He just needed cleaning? A memory of wiping his bloody hand on his pants slipped unbidden into his mind, and made him shudder.
The little ghost pushed himself up uncomfortably on his good arm, and inched towards the edge of the bed. When had he been dressed in a clean shirt and undershorts? All he could remember were things he didn't want to remember, and nothing of how he arrived at his present state... Had Ren brought him back to his room?
His brows furrowed as he swung his legs over the bed, cradling his damaged arm against his side, and made the mistake of trying to stand without caution. When his left leg gave out he fell right into Ren's arms without a sound. Another try and it seemed to hold, but his step towards his little bathroom was quite a limp. Before their trip it would have brought a fierce scowl to his little face. He took another limping step towards the door at the back of his room, his hip seeming to function better on the next try. He felt like a rusty piece of clockwork, needing a great deal of effort to function correctly.
He leaned on Ren all the way to the bathroom doorway, on the other side was a room that might have been a closet once judging from it's size. All it had in it was a sink, a small counter with a hairbrush and comb under a mirror mounted to the wall, and a small bathtub that was meant for getting clean in, not lounging in.
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Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 4:54 pm
Ren's arms automatically went around Jove as the puppy stumbled, gently keeping him from falling over. One of the boil's arms was obviously injured; he was holding it against him as if it pained him to just touch it, and his pale, freckled face contorted in a wince with each step he took. Ren tried to keep the look of utter despair from his face while watching him - it was painful to see Jove like this, painful to have to watch him to go through what he was.
He half walked, half carried Jove to the bathroom. It was not large in the slightest; in fact Ren had mistaken it for a closet earlier, and might have kept believing it was a closet, had it not been for the fact that he saw a bathtub in it - a very small bathtub, not meant for more than one person. There was also a sink, but it was small; the bathtub took up most of the minimal space.
"Here," said Ren, and led Jove to sit down on the edge of the bathtub. He turned the water on, making sure it was warm and not too hot before he moved to take Jove's hand in his. The puppy was still clutching his emblem, and it made Ren actually smile - a faint smile, not a very big one, but a smile nonetheless.
"Let me take this for a minute," Ren said. "I promise I'll give it back to you in just a little bit."
Taking the emblem, Ren set it carefully down on the counter, next to the brush, pushing it to the back so that it would not fall off, and then he glanced around, looking for a washcloth. There was one draped over the side of the tub, and Ren doused it in water before turning back to Jove, his fingers curling on the hem of his shirt.
"I, er...need you to take this off," he said apologetically, knowing how much the boil liked his privacy. "Just so I can clean your side."
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