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 Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 2:29 pm
They were an ideal in his mind - he'd picked up enough by now to know males didn't have it easy but he'd also heard that males were not expected to hunt and that the females were the warriors, the protectors. If he had been born amongst them he would never have known the pain of being the 'weak one' the 'useless one'. There would have been so few expectations for him that he needn't have failed to live up to any.
If he'd talked to the newcomers, learned about their trials and tribulations, perhaps he'd have been of a very different mind - he'd have seen their suffering at the hands of the sisters - but to his teenage mind their ideals seemed to mesh well with how he viewed the world and he was willingly blind to the downsides of such an existence.
He trotted, now, carefully near to his home den - watching out for any of the newcomers - well, the adults at least - he rather liked the pups as he never felt he had to pretend to be what he was not with them. There were no pups here now, however, and seeing the movement of a larger shape, he began to skitter away.
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Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 2:48 pm
 Derecho had lifted his head at the faint sound of paw steps heading towards the den - he hadn't expected the steps to come from Corinth however, the boy had always been timid..but had turned almost reclusive in his teen year, avoiding his family as well as the rest of the pack. Such reclusive behavior didn't bother Terreis of course...but Derecho was concerned and now that he had the opportunity to speak with his son he wasn't about to let it pass him by. Hurriedly he got to his feet, he made to call out to his son before he skittered off into the brush as he looked like he was about to do "Corinth!" He called out, walking towards him with a warm look on his face. "It's been a while, how have you been?" Best to engage him in conversation before he made up some excuse and left Derecho figured.
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Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 2:54 pm
For a split-second the young male thought of running but, at the end of the day, direct disobedience didn't come easy to him and despite the feeling that he was a failure in both parents' eyes, he didn't want to add to that. He slowly turned and trudged back out into the clearing.
"Hey Dad" he coughed, clearing his throat a little to give himself time to think. Speaking to his father was always so awkward and he never needed to worry about speaking to his mother. How had he been? Lonely, feeling worthless, despondent. But his father didn't want to hear that, did he? "Uh good, yeah" he said, lamely, cringing almost naturally at this forced interaction, waiting for the damning words about his not taking part in the hunts, not being a normal boy of his age, not keeping up with his brothers.
"How're you Dad?" he mumbled, trying to deflect the questions away from himself before it had a chance to be elaborated on, even if it did feel awkward.
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Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 3:06 pm
Derecho cast an critical eye over his son - did the boys fur looks a bit piqued? He certainly wasn't as muscular as Apollo and some of the other boys his age but then even as a pup he'd never been inclined to such things and Derecho had long since given up on trying to get him to be. Corinth was well..Corinth.
Still there was little excuse for neglecting ones family and Corinth had been doing a good job of that lately, even his answer seemed forced, untrue and Derecho's eyes narrowed slightly in worry. "I'm fine..your mother wants to have more pups" He shared with his son, rolling his eyes slightly at the through - like five sons wasn't enough already? But no of course it wasn't..Terreis wanted a daughter nd Derecho was half convinced that if he didn't go along with trying to give her one she'd run off and find someone who would. "And your Grandmothers taken a shine to that new Galahad fellow..." He further filled in the boy about his family's doings though that wasn't at all what he wanted to talk about.
"But are you truly okay Corinth? you seem a bit...off...lately"
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Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 3:15 pm
Corinth could read between the lines. His mother wanted daughters. He'd seen how happy she'd been to have Guinivere, how her mother doted on the girl more than her flesh and blood. He didn't dislike Guinivere - it wasn't her fault - but he did sometimes envy her trips with mother to Antianeira. He would never be wanted by his mother - in her eyes he knew he was a deviant - a male who wasn't strong and who was also not in servitude. She didn't even try to hide that, these days, and he'd given up on winning her affection a long time ago. Or so he told himself, at least.
"Yeah I'm fine.." he could see it wasn't going to wash, though. his father wanted a 'heart to heart' and he wasn't sure he could give one without seeing disappointment writ large across that concerned face. It wasn't that he didn't want to please his father, he'd just convinced himself by now that there was no way he could. "I just... I dunno. You know?"
"Galahad?" he said, absently. He'd seen newcomers but getting close enough to learn names had definitely not been on his mind. Maybe he'd have some new pups to look after. That'd be nice... though the idea of grandma with pups seemed so odd it brought a little smile to his lips. She wasn't that old, he supposed, but she'd always seemed sorta ancient to him when he was a pup - a wolf older than his own father, whom he had never considered 'young'.
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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 6:48 am
No he didn't..he really didn't 'know' to be honest and it wasn't even that he was all that fa removed from being Corinths age that he couldn't remember - he recalled his teen years quite well, they had been spent with Aleu for the most part, Aleu and Verse and while sure there had been the upset of his fathers return and the sickness that followed Derecho had never really fallen into the antisocial ways of Corinth. So no..he didn't 'know' and it was unlikely that he ever really would.
While he thought on how to tackle that particular statement from his son he went on with the other remark "He's the brown and white fellow - saved your brother in the blizzard"...Of course that reminded Derecho that Corinth hadn't been on the hunt. Surely he'd heard the stories though.
"Look son" Derecho started "I just want to know wha you've been thinking lately...you haven't been around the family much and I'm starting to get worried - if you'll just tell me what's on your mind..I might be able to help. I'm not a complete nitwit you know - despite what you might have heard your mother yell from time to time" He told Corinth, adding the light joke at the end in hopes of lightening the mood and getting his son to start talking.
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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 12:11 pm
Corinth almost visibly winced as his father kept prodding at the sore spot which was his ego... or lack of it. "Galahad, right" he said, absently, trying to buy time. He'd vaguely heard the story but had never seen the male in question. As far as he knew, anyway - he might have been one of the many newcomers Corinth had spied from afar.
Slowly Corinth began to realise he wasn't going to get away from his father's questions. The silence stretched unbearably until Corinth finally spilled, his thoughts tumbling out.
"I just... I wish..." he stumbled over his words "I sometimes think life would have been better if I'd been born in Mom's old pack". That was the issue, at the core. It was what all of his other thoughts whirled around, really.
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Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2011 2:24 pm
Derecho wasn't sure exactly what he expected Corinth to tell him - likely something rather mundane like 'I want mom to pay more attention to me' or 'I'm tired of never being a part of anything' or even 'I just don't feel like I fit in around here and I don't know what to do with my life' you know...the usual teenage problems that tended to plague wolves.
But no, Derecho just wasn't that lucky and the words uttered by his son made his jaw drop in shock before he managed to snap it shut and utter a statement of disbelief "You think what now? Are you insane? Do you know what they do to male's over there?!?" Derecho started at his son and a part of him just wanted to smack him upside the head for thinking such an utterly stupid thought...but that would be wrong and so he tarted pacing instead. "You have everything you could want here! A nice peaceful life of freedom..why..why would you even think it would be better there? they'd treat you like dirt!"
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Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:31 am
Corinth hadn't wanted to upset his father, hadn't wanted to cause a confrontation. It was why he avoided stuff like this, really - why he kept quiet, why he kept away from others. They just didn't understand him. Didn't understand what he felt he needed.
"I know that they're tough on males there but they don't expect them to hunt or be rough or fight..." he said, his voice squeaky and quiet in the face of adult incredulity at his thoughts. "I do love this pack, but I just... I'm not useful here!"
His tail drooped, curling under him, and as though a dark cloud had come over him his features dropped into those of a reticent puppy. He didn't want to be arguing, why couldn't his father have just left him alone?
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Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 10:39 am
Derecho paused in mid-step to stare at his son when he finally spoke up again, really..this whole thing was about feeling useful? About not wanting to play the rough and tumble games of his siblings? Derecho could handle that - he could deal with a more laid back calmer sort of son...but he didn't think he could deal with a son who became a slave. "Are you sure this in't just so your mother will be happy?" He suddenly demanded. "And stop standing like that! You already look like..like one of them" He snapped. This was a stupid argument..they shouldn't even be having it.
"Well you know what..it doesn't matter Corinth I forbid you to join that pack, you can bloody well stay here and find some other way to feel useful. Help Ki-adi she doesn't like to do the rough sort of things either..but you are not joining your mothers old pack!" He stated firmly fixing his son with pointed look as though daring the boy to try and say otherwise. How else could he get the point across - that this was some silly youthful fancy that he would certainly regret when he got older, that if he left the pack...Derecho would hardly..if ever..see him again. Somehow he doubted that Corinth cared about such thoughts on his part however, o he'd take the tough stand and simply forbid it from happening. In time Corinth would understand, Derecho was sure of it.
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 7:46 am
His father's raised voice, contrary to it's words, simply made Corinth cringe further. He was protecting himself from the verbal blows which rained down upon him. He felt picked-apart by his father's words - not really understanding that what he felt as complex emotions and facets of his being could be so easily picked up by others - that they could see what he himself was not aware of.
He tried to deny to himself that it was still an attempt to get on his mother's good side. He thought he'd long ago given up on that, but a tiny pinprick of doubt reared its head. Maybe he was doing it to please her - to see the look in her eye that she got when she watched Guinevere... Well, maybe that would be nice, dammit - why did his father not understand that he might want that?
Thinking on it, was his father angry because it might work? Corinth had seen his father's heated 'debates' with Mom about how little attention she gave to her boys - maybe this was an extention of that. Why wouldn't his father be happy if he did what pleased Mom, what made her notice him? God damned contradictory adults!
He gritted his teeth as his father put down the final ultimatum, his eyes glowing with wounded hurt and anger. He had opened up to his feelings, shared thoughts at his father's insistence and he he was being told he was just plain wrong. He knew that, it was why he'd been avoiding people - his father had totally proved his point.
"I'm practically an adult, I can decide what to do for myself!" the petulant refrain of many a teenager rang out across the clearing. His posture was still shrunken, though, as if to deflect the coming bawling-out that he fully expected.
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Posted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 5:06 am
Derecho's fur bristled as his son snapped back at him so defiantly, he'd spent so much time with his boys since they were born, trying in his own way to make up for their mothers neglect and what was his reward for such things? Nothing - regardless of all that attention, all that time - they still came up with these absurd ideas regarding their mother and her pack. It had to be a teen thing Derecho told himself recalling the feelings he and his sister had heralded for their own father at the time.
Shaking his pelt to smooth the bristled fur Derecho told himself that Corinth would grow out of it - it was just silly teenage hormones talking, some girl would come around and Corinth would take notice of her and all these crazy ideas would evaporate, as would his anger at his father for demanding he not follow this pipe dream. "Practically...would be the key word there Corinth, your not an adult yet son....and you not going" He stated firmly with a decisive stubborn look in his eye, there would be no changing Derecho's mind on this.
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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 3:37 am
It's not fair, he thought to himself. It's just not fair. He just wants me to stay here because he hates moms family and he hates her old pack. He doesn't really care about me, just himself. He wants me to stay here and be useless and be the runt of the litter just so's he doesn't lose one of us to Antianeira.
Corinth's lips pursed, his eyes meeting only the ground. "Fine then" he grumbled, his whole body shaking. It was anger, though, not fear, which made him shake. He was slowly starting to form a plan, thinking of being truly disobedient for the first time in his life. He didn't like it, it made his insides squirm, but he was so wound up by the argument that his mind had been pushed into considering things he otherwise might have not.
"M'gonna find something more useful to do than stand here arguing" he muttered, almost hoping his dad wouldn't hear him and further chide him for his attitude..
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 9:41 am
Derecho glared daggers at his son while he all but ground out the agreement - at least the older wolf reflected the boy wasn't shaking in fear this time around ad if it took making him stand up to his father to grow a backbone and discover himself well Derecho supposed he could live with that - there would be plenty of time later for reconciliation, neither of them were old wolves nor did they live in particularly dangerous places. Let him be mad, maybe he'd discover something.
"Good" Derecho snapped "Something more useful then moping about in the woods would be nice as well" He shot back at his son before giving him one last huff and turning away to..well he wasn't sure exactly where he would go - he couldn't very well tell Terreis of this little conversation now could he? She'd want the boy to go..Adonai perhaps...yes Adonai might understand more then some of the others he wasn't very fond of the amazon pack either.
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Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 12:49 pm
Corinth turned his back huffily as his father did. Fine then. FINE. The thought echoed in his mind as he tramped off, feet scuffing through the undergrowth noisily. His father's last words had confirmed how useless he was here. He couldn't stay here. He couldn't face all of his brothers, the others in the pack, those who had known him all of his life to be useless.
Anger propelled him towards the edge of YMCA territory, and anger pushed him over it. He didn't feel a chill, or a wrench, but a new sense of purpose. He believed he was doing this for himself, that he wanted to, that it was best for everyone. He ignored the little whispers that all he really wanted was approval from Mommy, that he wanted a little love, appreciation...
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