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 Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:17 pm
Reworking old Cavalier app for the new Knights faction <3
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:24 pm
Name: Thorn Serafin (Yes, his parents were hippies. At least, when he was born. They later gave up and joined the rat race.)
Nicknames: p***k (Get it? Thorn? p***k? Yeah, he's surrounded by comedians.)
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Birthday: April 9
Sign: Aries
Blood Type: B
Fav. Food: Steak. (Preferably medium or medium-well, but he'll eat it overcooked or even charcoaled if he has to. Just not still bleeding.) Steak is a staple food - you can dress it up, dress it down, Thorn doesn't care as long as he gets his meat. His parents are still vegetarians, so this isn't something he gets to eat at home, only when eating out or with friends. This is his comfort food, and you do NOT get between a man and his steak.
Hated Food: Tofu and soy-based products. He can eat them - he was raised on that sort of crap, which is mostly why he hates it so much now that he's had 'better' food.
School: DCU, on a sports scholarship
Hobbies:
Street hockey: Or any sport with a stick/bat - except lacrosse, because lacrosse is gay. Thorn likes to beat things with sticks, and sport is the best excuse in the world for that. Street hockey is his favourite because rules (and padding) go out the window. There's nothing like the rush you get body slamming something out of the way, hacking at ankles (or knees... or higher) and eventually scoring a goal against an equally violent team. Adrenaline is the best drug there is, and it's all natural, baby.
Road Trip: Thorn likes getting out of the city and going different places. He doesn't care if it's visiting another city, camping out, or going on a damn picnic for a day - he loves road trips with his buddies and getting back to nature. He'll organise them whenever he can, is totally willing to drive everyone who can fit into his beat-up jeep. Maps and plans are optional - the fun part is the journey, not the destination.
Clean Living: Less of a hobby, more a way of life. Thorn does not touch alcohol, cigarettes or any form of recreational drug. If you do, that's your choice, but he's going to think less of you for it. Thorn's parents were minor addicts - nothing as horrible as junkies, but they spent more time stoned than not. Or they did, until social services threatened to take Thorn away. They cleaned up their act, joined the 'rat race' and got jobs, but Thorn can't get rid of that bundle of disgust for anyone who poisons themselves that way.
Meditation: Thorn will Never Ever admit to it, but he practices meditation. The whole hog - comfy mat, cheesy relaxing music, often a door or window open to the great outdoors. It's hard to be 110% all the time, and meditation is Thorn's number one method of unwinding. He only does this when he's 100% sure he's alone - no parents around, no friends coming over, certainly not in public. This is his dirty little secret.
Gemstone: Bloodstone
Virtues:
Can he do it? YES, HE CAN (Confident) -- Thorn knows what he can do, and he does it - proudly, to the best of ability. He's not easily ruffled. He's built like a tank, so he has no fear of most social situations or conflicts (more likely to look down at anyone insulting him with a disbelieving smile - awww, aren't you the cutest thing, like a kitten trying to pick a fight with a German Shepherd? Who's the cutest, fiercest little kitty? You are! - before breaking out the insults). He has faith in his own abilities in a physical fight - you'd need to bring superior numbers or weapons to a fight to make him concerned. He knows his strengths and he plays to them.
Lead By Doing -- He will never ask anything of you that he's not willing to do himself. He might suck at it, but he's willing to try it before asking others for help. And if he's asked to help you learn anything, don't expect any of that theory or safety crap - let's get right into it! Doing is the best way of learning. But you can rest assured that he'll never pawn off his work to you, and if he asks you to take part in a battle or fight (or sports challenge) you can bet he'll be there right at your side.
Enthusiastic/Energetic -- He is GUNG-HO! Got an order for him? SURE THING, BOSS! Someone needs protecting? He's so there! Negaverse around? CHARGE! Group project at school? LET'S DO OUR BEST, EVERYONE! He's great on your team for sports, to cheer you on in anything he's not involved in himself. Sometimes his energy is infectious. Sometimes it's enough to make you want to stab him with a spork. But you can't say he's lazy or unmotivated.
Note: He is not always 220% ENERGIZER BUNNY ON. He has normal energy levels, too. But even if you gave him the crappiest job in the universe (like cleaning the school toilets with a toothbrush), once he finished insulting you and your questionable parentage, he would still give 100% to getting the job done.
Easy Come, Easy Go: Perhaps due to being raised by hippies, but Thorn is accepting of things as they happen. He's quick to forgive and forget, not holding a grudge against anyone. If you have to pull out of a game or a battle or a road trip, fair enough dude, it happens. You want to tag along at the last minute, yeah, he can fit you in. You say he's failed one of his courses or lost a game? He'll do better next time, nothing to worry about. He goes with the flow, and while this can irritate some (especially if he brushes off your Very Important Concerns), it makes him an easy-going guy who can get along with a lot of different types of people.
Flaws:
Oh my god, they killed Kenny! YOU BASTARDS! -- He is an emotional person, which usually works more to his disadvantage than the other way around. There is no easier way to get him riled up than to threaten, injure or insult a friend. His emotions are strong, fierce and sometimes overwhelming. He can be OVER-protective, OVER-enthusiastic (bone breaking hugs!), OVER-critical, and yes, even head-over-heels in love at first sight. The good news is that his anger (and instant-crushes) are quickly forgotten [see Easy Come, Easy Go.]
Cocky -- The true downside of his confidence isn't being over-confident, it's that it makes him cocky. He can be an annoying b*****d - especially when he's right and/or successful at a given task. His cockiness can make it difficult in battle sometimes - he won't want to wait for others, either get up to his pace and ability, or go home. He does sometimes bite off more than he can chew. He is NOT a good loser, especially if his earlier cockiness is thrown back in his face. His anger is likely to spill over onto comrades as well as enemies when that happens.
Affection through insults, loathing through insults... you know what? Just plain insults -- Whether he likes you, whether he hates you, even if he doesn't really care either way, if he can find something to insult you about, he will. He will taunt you horribly if you stuff up, and literally fall off his seat laughing at you if you do something embarrassing or stupid. Teammates in battle are insulted slightly less. Just slightly.
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:25 pm
Official Title: Avernus Page of Pluto Planet: Pluto Aspect: Avernus Avernus, near Naples, was historically thought to be one of the entrances to the underworld. See more info two posts down. Weapon:Page: Plain Gothic lantern of some kind, with a handle from the top. He likes to whack people in the head with it. Squire: Slightly more elaborate Gothic lantern, hanging from a short chain. He opens one panel to use his magic, the light beams out to hit his target. Blocking the light, or preventing it from hitting the target, will block the magic effect. Knight: Elaborate Gothic lantern, hanging from the top of a staff. Light from the lantern emulates the FFX "haste" effect when he uses his magic. He no longer needs to open one of the panels, just points the staff in the target's direction. The effect/light still beams out and preventing it from touching the target will still block/negate the magic effect. Magic: Time (speeding up and slowing down) Stage One Magic: N/A Stage Two Magic: Can be used to speed himself or an ally up, maximum 1.5 times their original speed. Only works on one target at a time. Cannot be used on inanimate objects or attacks (must be a person). Lasts for thirty seconds. Basically, a brief Haste effect. Stage Three Magic: Can cast Haste on himself or an ally, or Slow on an enemy / enemy attack. -- Slow: Can be used to slow down an enemy, maximum a third of their usual speed (ie. enemy still moves at 2/3 their original speed). Can be cast on a single target, or on a small area to affect incoming attacks. Cannot affect more than one human target at a time. Cannot affect both human and inanimate objects/attacks at the same time. Lasts for one minute. Basically, a Slow effect. -- Haste: Can be used to speed himself or an ally up, maximum 2 times their original speed. Only works on one target at a time. Can be cast on a small area to affect the outgoing attacks of allies. Lasts for one minute. Basically, a Haste effect. Fighting Style: A brawler, and a human tank at times. His style is rough and aims for maximum hurt - no rules, no 'safe' areas, no 'warrior honour'. He will hit you, he will hit you hard. Uniform: Steampunk military mismatch. Top/Jacket: A male version of something like this (but shorter) or thisMain accent colour: Dark burgundy (like Pluto's backbow) Challenge: I'll end this quickly.
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:29 pm
AppearanceHair: Golden brown - like this hair and these eyes. Eyes: An insanely dark blue, almost black. Face: Body: Tall, built. There may be some Native American in his ancestry, because he has the skin and body type for it. Basically, he looks like he could be the guy on the cover of those trashy novels. Fashion: Generally? No fashion sense. None. He makes you want to follow him home, burn his wardrobe, and dress him up like a Ken doll. He also has a passion for beaded / homemade jewelry. Braided friendship bracelets, 'native' accessories - it doesn't matter if it was bought from a shop, a tourist stand or made by a friend back in elementary school - he has it and he still wears it.
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Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:39 pm
Avernus: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avernus
Avernus was an ancient name for a crater near Cumae (Cuma), Italy, in the Region of Campania west of Naples. Avernus was believed to be the entrance to the underworld, and is portrayed as such in the Aeneid of Virgil. The name comes from the Greek word άορνος, meaning "without birds", because according to tradition all birds flying over the lake were destined to fall dead. This death in birds is likely due to the toxic fumes that mouths of the crater gave off into the atmosphere. In later times, the word was simply an alternate name for the underworld.
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Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 4:33 am
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Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:40 am
ON THE CIVILIAN: "Slow It Down" reads more like a character trait than a hobby. If you want to include this in hobbies, I would just pick out one of the solitary activities that he enjoys to highlight and then mention within that how he needs to get his 'me' time every now and then. As it stands now, it just focuses on how he likes being alone, which is more of a flaw in my opinion. Otherwise, hobbies look good to me. I like his virtues, but I feel like his flaws are a little too typical. In terms of making him competitive for contests, I think you should try to define them in a way that is clearer. For example, the 'insulting' flaw could be much more than it currently is. Is he the kind of person who is constantly teasing others? Does this extend to every facet of his life? Is he incapable of going easy on someone? I would explore this flaw beyond the simple 'he insults people for fun and it is annoying' aspect. I feel like there is a flaw lurking in his 'easy come, easy go' virtue that you might want to explore. Is he forgiving of others because he is flakey himself? Is he the type to make plans with someone and then bail on them when something better comes along? Does he treat friends like flavors of the week, switching between who he gives attention to until he becomes almost unreliable as a friend? The confident/cocky duality is one that I see a lot when I go through critiquing quests. There is nothing wrong with that! I just think you should make sure that Thorn has his own particular brand of that dynamic. Right now, it feels fairly typical, which I would caution against. I enjoy his 'overemotional' flaw as a neat aspect of this kind of personality. Maybe try to develop more with that? He just feels so much, and it came lead him to do various things that may or may not be helpful to his life or his Knighthood in the long-run. If you are shopping for different flaws and virtues, I sometimes consult this site for inspiration. ON THE KNIGHT: I think a haste-magic is great, but make sure you add in how he casts it (and then, how it can be broken). Is this an avoidable attack? If someone gets out of the direct line of his staff, do the effects dissipate? Go in and outline the weaknesses to help strengthen this section. Also, Knights do not have access to their previous stages of magic once they upgrade so you should make sure you say in his Knight-level that he can still cast Haste on allies, but now he also has the capacity to cast Slow on enemies. Food for thought: it feels like almost every single knight quest I have critiqued involves a staff as a weapon. This is not something that would keep you from getting stamped. It is more of an FYI. Your quest would stand out a lot more if it had a unique weapon! Hope this helps~
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Posted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 4:36 pm
Awesome, thank you Akina! <3 Will work on fixing/adressing those things.
Hmm, I actually like the idea of splitting 'slow it down' into hobby + flaw. I can see him turning off his phone and being completely unreachable when he really needs to unwind. Will expand on that idea...
I agree on the staff, totally. I was trying to think of something better for him while I had staff in there as a placeholder. Will continue to hunt/think. (I was actually trying to find references for a particular gothic/fantasy type of lantern I know I've seen before. Can't find anything like it now, may just involve Moar Googling.)
EDIT: Knight section fixed. Working more slowly on civilian section...
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