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 Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 6:32 pm
Please, I need help for my friend. She is pregnant b/c of rape. She is 14 and she is scared shitless. She is having twins. I am the only one there for her. I promised her i would get advice, and information. Please help me tell her positive stuff, I dont want to lose my friend, please give me words of wisdom
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 8:25 pm
Can you be a bit more specific about what you actually want advice about? That's a broad topic and I'm not sure where to start on it. What do you need to know?
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:15 am
Well, reading through the stickies in this forum would be a pretty good start. She needs to make sure she is getting proper prenatal care and she will need help on making the decision of what to do once they are born. Just ask her how you can help and try to do the things she asks for.
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:28 am
She needs to tell her parents if she hasn't already told them, and she needs to see a doctor and/or OB-GYN asap. Those are the two most important things.
From there, she and her family and her doctor can discuss about what would be best in her situation. If she's far enough in her pregnancy that she knows the sex of her babies, it sounds like it might be too late to get an abortion. In which case, she's left with two options:
- Closed adoption or open adoption
- Keeping the baby
Then there's other things she's going to need to consider. Finances - formula and diapers and other necessities, medical bills and doctor's fees, baby-sitter and other childcare bills, etc. Her schooling - continuing high school, going to a remedial school with a daycare, dropping out and waiting a few years before going back, etc. Job - will she work to support herself and her baby?
And of course, there's legal issues. Does she know who raped her? If so, she can go to the police and get him thrown in jail. There's the question of child-support too, if she decides to keep the baby.
Above all else, the main thing you can really be (in all honesty) is someone she can go to for advice, and you can be there for emotional support. But that's about it. The final decision is HER say, and her family's too (in a sense). So while you can feel free to help her as best you can, you will need to realize that there's only so much you can help her with.
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 11:01 pm
Go Nikolita! You said everything I would say.
However, I would also like to add that I sympathize with your friend. I know a few people who had to face a rape pregnancy, and it takes strength to go through pregnancy at a young age, especially if it's rape, and especially when you're still young and don't know what to do.
If she is going to have twins, does this mean she's been to the doctor? She may need to be examined to see if she can give birth without dying from it. Many 14 year olds do not have the hip development to survive vaginal birth. They may have to do an immediate C-section.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 7:03 pm
Oni-Angel Go Nikolita! You said everything I would say. However, I would also like to add that I sympathize with your friend. I know a few people who had to face a rape pregnancy, and it takes strength to go through pregnancy at a young age, especially if it's rape, and especially when you're still young and don't know what to do. As do I. I wouldn't wish rape on anybody. Your friend might want to look into counselling, therapy, or a support group of some kind to help her deal with the pregnancy, and/or possible adoption if she decides to give the children up.
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 10:12 pm
Nikolita She needs to tell her parents if she hasn't already told them, and she needs to see a doctor and/or OB-GYN asap. Those are the two most important things. From there, she and her family and her doctor can discuss about what would be best in her situation. If she's far enough in her pregnancy that she knows the sex of her babies, it sounds like it might be too late to get an abortion. In which case, she's left with two options: - Closed adoption or open adoption - Keeping the baby Then there's other things she's going to need to consider. Finances - formula and diapers and other necessities, medical bills and doctor's fees, baby-sitter and other childcare bills, etc. Her schooling - continuing high school, going to a remedial school with a daycare, dropping out and waiting a few years before going back, etc. Job - will she work to support herself and her baby? And of course, there's legal issues. Does she know who raped her? If so, she can go to the police and get him thrown in jail. There's the question of child-support too, if she decides to keep the baby. Above all else, the main thing you can really be (in all honesty) is someone she can go to for advice, and you can be there for emotional support. But that's about it. The final decision is HER say, and her family's too (in a sense). So while you can feel free to help her as best you can, you will need to realize that there's only so much you can help her with. yes, her parents know and she has gone to the doctors. She is going to keep the twins, and her parents are going to support there grandsons. the dud is in jail now, and havent thought out the child support issue right now. I was mainly looking for advice, thank you so
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 10:13 pm
Oni-Angel Go Nikolita! You said everything I would say. However, I would also like to add that I sympathize with your friend. I know a few people who had to face a rape pregnancy, and it takes strength to go through pregnancy at a young age, especially if it's rape, and especially when you're still young and don't know what to do. If she is going to have twins, does this mean she's been to the doctor? She may need to be examined to see if she can give birth without dying from it. Many 14 year olds do not have the hip development to survive vaginal birth. They may have to do an immediate C-section. Yes, she is going to have a c-section. She doesnt want to die and she wants her babies. Yes, she has gone to the doctors. thanks
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Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 11:19 pm
Nikolita Oni-Angel Go Nikolita! You said everything I would say. However, I would also like to add that I sympathize with your friend. I know a few people who had to face a rape pregnancy, and it takes strength to go through pregnancy at a young age, especially if it's rape, and especially when you're still young and don't know what to do. As do I. I wouldn't wish rape on anybody. Your friend might want to look into counselling, therapy, or a support group of some kind to help her deal with the pregnancy, and/or possible adoption if she decides to give the children up. I second the support group thing. I'd need a lot of people around me as often as possible if I were in that kind of situation. Good luck to her.
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Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 1:13 pm
Is she going to keep the children? Most rapes abor the child or give it up for adoption.
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Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:45 pm
666_Ozzy_Osbourne_666 Most rapes abor the child or give it up for adoption. Do you have a source for that? If not, please don't throw out random statistics and/or comments like that if you can't back them up.
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Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:31 am
She's 14? Does she have any experience with younger kids? If not, she may want to see if there's a parenting class for teen moms, or something... There's a lot of things that can go wrong just due to ignorance...
Like... babies being suffocated by their stuffed animals.
So... yeah. There are some things that need to be learned, though with her parents helping, that'll make things easier for her.
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 7:31 pm
OMG, I'm so sorry.
Has she told her parents yet? You CAN"T be the only one there for her. She has her family.
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