Word Count: 859
Inspiration/Soundtrack: N/A


She stared at the pen in her hand, gaze heavy and contemplating. She didn't know why she'd opted to pick the thing up and look it over, it's not like it felt like it belonged in her hand any more. It was an odd pull that had made her hold it, made her grip it tight and throw her hand into the air.

The words had almost slipped from her mouth but she had prevented as such with a harsh bite to her lip that had almost drawn blood. Instinct had almost run out and she had thrown her pen across the room in horror. She'd given up the mantle of Sailor Soldier for now, with a promise to rethink it after Ignacio was better.

Of course that was before she'd met Arra and he'd begun happily interfering in Ignacio's routine enough to start fixing what she could not. She thought she would have more time, would be able to just forget about it until being a senshi was all she had left to her. Ignacio didn't know it... but Melody was sure she was giving up on love again.

Power hummed from the pen again, drawing her brown eyed gaze back to it and she wondered what was the point. Maybe she should suit up again, go for a run on the rooftops and just let the breeze blow through her hair and across her skin. That had to be about the only thing she missed about her lack of senshi life at the moment.

It could be a wonderful distraction, a change of pace and would remove her from the temptation of her music. It's siren call as luring her back in and made her want nothing more then to spend all of her free time with her cello and sheet music and to alienate herself from the outside world once again. Not that she wasn't doing that all ready... but at least if (when) Ignacio was better and he and Arra were no longer around she'd have her music to fall back on.

Ugh, she needed some air.

Standing she slammed her pen down on her bedside table, the action shaking it and knocking down the picture frame that held an image of her and her Gran. At six years old her Gran had been her world, life at the house surrounded by cherry blossoms that and introduced her to the world of classical music and her passion to be a famous cellist. Why couldn't life be that simple any more? The world of adults was stupid and she wished she was an innocent child once more, much like her beloved Istas.

One day she'd make it up to her chibi for abandoning her again but she hoped the little one would understand. Her brother and her music were her life, had always been! Ignacio always came first, she always took care of him. She would always take care of him even if she had to throw away everything.

Maybe that was part of her problem, she'd built her life around her music and her brother that she had nothing else. Maybe that was why being a sailor soldier still called to her... Or maybe there was more to her then she ever thought possible? It all still revolved around some stupid pen and the violence others like her wreaked.

Why did she quit? Because in all honestly she needed the time to sort through the mess and the blood and the nightmares. Because some one more important to her then the fate of the world needed her. The problem was... she needed some one too.

Setting the picture frame back on the nightstand, she left the pen where it was and moved for her bedroom door. Arra was over, he could watch Ignacio. With that thought in mind she made her way down the stairs and for the front door, grabbing her purse and slipping on her favourite pair of white heels. Was there a need for a note? Maybe..

But Arra, for all the fabulous man he was with her brother, could handle him for a few hours while she went for a breather. If there was any possible way for the two of them to hook up in any sort of future she wasn't always going to be around, the time alone with out her would be good.

Slinging one of the "purse" straps over a shoulder she left the house with out a good bye and headed out to find something to stop the whirlwind of things blowing around in her mind that she could get no peace from. Maybe she should have called one of her friends, but there was no guarantee they still considered her such with her dropping off of the face of the planet like she had. Maybe she needed to make some new ones, find some one she could relate to maybe.

Or maybe she just needed to suck it up and give love another try. But how easy would it be to find love in a city where you never knew who was on who's side?