ichigo1223s poetry | Page 1 | ~Writers~ | Guild Forums

Ichigo1223

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Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 8:34 am

this is some of my poetry i am a little wmo so be ready for some depressing poetry and some suspense and if u would like to use a poem for something just pm me no donation required my poem rulez are do not post your own poem but poem ratings and complements or complaints are welcome (i like constructive critcism) so plz tell ur friends and if you want i will write poems for suggestions so tell me if you want me to write about something and i hope you enjoy

Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 8:39 am

Poor mans union

The poor man dies for this country
While the rich man just makes more enemys
so the family asks why as the poor man dies
while the rich let out only soft sarcastic crys
but you wont want to be an enemy for
this is the uprising of a new century
so step aside and let us through
or find out what we'll do to you
this is wars reunion for this is
the poor mans union

Ichigo1223

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iamfelixC

Gracious Lover

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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 9:45 pm

this is vary good i write poems too lols

Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2011 9:51 pm

Death Weasly Malfoy

this is vary good i write poems too lols

well I have writers block right now so I am not doing good angies did u like use the stalker button on me??? XD

Ichigo1223

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iamfelixC

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Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 5:53 am

Ichigo1223

Death Weasly Malfoy

this is vary good i write poems too lols

well I have writers block right now so I am not doing good angies did u like use the stalker button on me??? XD

hopefully not i just found it dont think that! crying

Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 5:42 pm

Ichigo1223

Poor mans union

The poor man dies for this country
While the rich man just makes more enemys
so the family asks why as the poor man dies
while the rich let out only soft sarcastic crys
but you wont want to be an enemy for
this is the uprising of a new century
so step aside and let us through
or find out what we'll do to you
this is wars reunion for this is
the poor mans union

it's okay. the misspellings really bother me ._. but I'm a little OCD...anyways. you kind of start to try to maybe introduce a rhyming pattern in lines three and four, but it doesn't repeat again until seven and eight and a little in the last two lines. The meaning and purpose is conveyed nicely though smile it has a nice impact.

Momo1013

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Ichigo1223

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Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 8:44 am

Momo1013

Ichigo1223

Poor mans union

The poor man dies for this country
While the rich man just makes more enemys
so the family asks why as the poor man dies
while the rich let out only soft sarcastic crys
but you wont want to be an enemy for
this is the uprising of a new century
so step aside and let us through
or find out what we'll do to you
this is wars reunion for this is
the poor mans union

it's okay. the misspellings really bother me ._. but I'm a little OCD...anyways. you kind of start to try to maybe introduce a rhyming pattern in lines three and four, but it doesn't repeat again until seven and eight and a little in the last two lines. The meaning and purpose is conveyed nicely though smile it has a nice impact.

Well thanks for the criticism and the compliment first time ive been off for a while so i havent been writing and i dont have my writings on me but next week there should be a couple new ones

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