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Jason Byers FFA Promo

Okay, this isthe first time I've really done any kind of promo other than the in-ring trash talk I put out every week, and I want to know what those of you with decent mic skills think. It's done in the form of a talk-show interview. I know the character is kind of repetitive, but I'm trying to establish his personality at first. (Yes, I will give the girls personalities too, I wanted this one to be more about Jason Byers) I'm trying to improve my promos, since it's a huge part of RP and my skills haven't really grown in that area.

When I first read this, I thought it said "ruin"... xd

Your promo skill are rather impressive. I love how the speech flows, and I think you really show your character's personality.

If I were to be fussy and pick a few faults:

- Your formatting could use a little cleaning. Just making sure everything is correctly spaced. For example, towards the bottom the speech of both Jason and the interviewer's speech merge into one paragraph. This is only a minor error, but it's nice to have good, clear formatting to make it easier to read smile

- The ending was a little abrupt. A simple "fade to black" might be effective here, as it is an interview, and maybe an off-hand comment from Jason to one of the girls as it fades, perhaps? This gives promos a little flair, and while it's not always necessary it's a good way to look like a proffessional.

- Just a few random actions may help show Jason's personality. Perhaps describe his facial expressions, or a simple hand gesture or position (for example, tapping his fingers to show he is bored or impatient).

- The part where Jason asks the girl to get him a beer is a nice addition, but seems a little quickly excecuted. Maybe you could extend small actions like that so as to give the girl some personality as well. Even by adding a few adverbs or actions, or making his speech a certain way, you could drastically alter our opinions on them (for example, you could say "The blonde girl sighed as she pushed herself off of the couch. Jason clicked his fingers and abruptly demanded a beer"). Again, not entirely necessary, but would give the characters a little added personality, and could help to align them as faces or heels, too.


This list is longer then it should have been, I do apologise. It was a very good promo, I just wanted to give some constructive criticism. I hope it helps, and I look forward to reading more promos from you in the future smile