Things were much better for the pair recently. She was far too happy to be where they were, and Azrael.. Well he was still just being Azrael. Rashida was trying to open him up slowly, but it was proving a rather difficult task.
She loved Azrael, and she would be there for him no matter what happened, and no matter how he acted. She was mated to him for life. They were married, after all, something that had happened once they had arrived to the new lands.
In order to be mated, they'd had to be married. She hadnt been against it, and neither had he. It was just another way to show their life together was for real. Or thats how they both took it. Now there was talk of cubs from Rashida.
Azrael wasnt sure how he felt about such a thing. He had hard enough time taking care of and protecting his mate.. He wondered if it was even possible to have that same kind of devotion for something that wasnt her. He supposed he could
but his devotion to his mate came first, and he felt sure it would bethat way even with cubs. It was one of the reasons he was almost positive he shouldnt breed. He didnt want to shun the cubs for Rashida.. But the more he thought about
it, the more the idea of cubs were okay in his mind. Even if he lacked luster with his parenting, and being a father.. Rashida would more than make up for any of it on her own. She'd be an amazing mother, doting and adoring. Cubs born to
her would be spoiled, and she would have it to no other way.
The rain outside had them confined to their den, and she was cuddled into his warm body. SHe loved snuggling against him, especially when it rained. It just seemed safe..Warm. She liked being there more than any place in the world. But her
blue eyes looked up, meeting the golden eyes of the male that were locked on her as well. They were both cuddling, listening to the drip drip drip of the rain. Cold air would blow in from outside here and there, but the humidity made the
den damp and rather wet feeling. She smiled at him, a pleasant smile, and one that showed all the love she could ever give. She nosed against his shoulder, and smoothed her head under his chin purring.
"Whats on your mind?" He asked her, his tail still against the earth, save for the tail fluff that was twitching slightly. She shrugged. What could she say to him that she hadnt said already? She sighed, and looked down tot he stone earth
with a bit of sadness on her features. She was sure he didnt want cubs, and that thought alone carried her to a place that she felt sure wasnt the best place to be.
"Oh nothing.." She answered, eyes jumping back to his face. She looked over his features, and smiled again, though this time it was softer. She was the type t hat was really bad at feigning when she was upset. If she was sad, she was sad..
"Dont lie to me." His voice said. He had a deep, dominant voice.. But it was the softest it could be whenever he spoke to Rashida. She had saved him..Saved him from a life that he would have hated. You only had one, hating the one you had
just wasnt the way to live.
"Im not lying.. I just dont know what I could say that I havent said already, Az."
He blinked, though he knew full well what it was she wanted. She had brought it up on multiple occasions, only to be denied. He hadnt wanted cubs, and it was something they had never discussed before they had fallen for each other. Seeing the
sadness on her features made him frown, and he looked at his paws. He wasnt sure how to make her happy.. Er, well he supposed he did know what to do. He wasnt sure if it was the right thing however, and that question caused him terrible inside turmoil.
"Rashi.. I just.. Im not sure Im cut out for something as permanent, and real as that.. I give you all my heart, all my soul, whats left to give to someone else? Or six someone elses if that was what we were blessed with? I just cant promise the same
devotion, love, and compassion for cubs.. I feel like a failure for that, but at least I know what Im capable of.."
He responded, voice soft as he headbutted her cheek ever so gently.
"You will be a great father, Azrael. The fact that you doubt yourself so much, and so brutally, breaks my heart." She said softly, shaking her head. How could he ever think he wasnt good enough for cubs? How could he not love cubs from her? She supposed
that wasnt really what he had meant, but it didnt make her feel any better. He was so afraid of his fathers curse passing onto the cubs he carried.. He didnt want to hate his cubs like his father had, and he saw it as a possibility.
"I love you, and you will love the children, the same as I will. You are just afraid, and thats normal.. But you will be fine, and I believe in you.. I believe in you." She repeated, looking deep into his amber gold eyes. Her blue eyes were sparkling with
hope. Maybe he would change his mind.. Maybe he would accept her dreams, her desires.
He shook his head, sighing audibly as he looked at his mate, and groaned. He'd do anything for her, including something so serious as this. Seeing her sad, broke his own heart, and.. he wouldnt be the one to do that to her. He offered her a smaller smile, and
licked her cheek. He nodded and shrugged.
"Maybe they'll be as good looking as me." He chuckled. When her eyes grew wide, he laughed out loud, and licked her cheek once more.
"I love you Rashida, and Ill do my best to be what those cubs will need." He said, and when she started smiling so wide she began to cry, he looked away. The pure emotion
was rough on him.
"You mean it, Az?" She asked, not willing to believe, just yet..
"I mean it, Rashi.. I mean it.." And with that, he let her nuzzle against him, her purr vibrating along his pelt. Smiling to himself, he closed his eyes, leaning his head into her. He loved her..and he'd do this for her.
