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 Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 4:27 pm
I've noticed that the topic of astrology has come up in another thread, I just wanted to give it a home biggrin
Your Horoscope For Today
Weird Al Yankovic
Aquarius
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus
Fill that void in your life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day
Pisces
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say
Aries
The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep
Taurus
You will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
Gemini
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest
Cancer
The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test
Leo
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik
Virgo
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a stick
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely
that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have
a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you,
but let me give you my assurance that these forcasts and predictions
are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have
to be some kind of moron not to reaize that every single one of the is absolutely true.
Where was I?
Libra
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week
Scorpio
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you call screaming from an open window
Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak
Sagittarius
All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den
Capricorn
The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying
If I were you, I's lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
That's your horoscope for today
(for discussion, quirks you think are the result of your birthday, and anything else that you think fits or disagrees with your "sign")
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Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:08 pm
lock my doors and never come out? i dont think im gonna listen to that advise biggrin
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Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 6:13 pm
that's okay, I had no clue who Earnest Borgnine was until I heard this song, then I just had to look him up rofl
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Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 10:48 pm
hm.....I will avoid Vigos and Loes with the Ebola virus....scratch that, avoid all with ebola virus! Hm....i wuv dancing^^
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Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 3:05 am
Can't wait to trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf...
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Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 8:03 am
>.< i didnt realize Gemini was an air sign.
that gives me wonderous ideas for airbased attacks.
"Dual Winds of Change, twelve arrows of wind, Go!"
(any one ever read the manga Negima, Magister Negi Magi?)
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Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 9:37 pm
ClaudiaJade >.< i didnt realize Gemini was an air sign. that gives me wonderous ideas for airbased attacks. "Dual Winds of Change, twelve arrows of wind, Go!" (any one ever read the manga Negima, Magister Negi Magi?) ~_~ Don't tell me you're a Gemini too...? When's your b-day?
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Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 10:22 pm
I'm a sagittarius.
My sophomore year of high school, I was in the marching band, and my section was pathetic. There were three of us.
But we were all fire signs. The other two girls were a leo and an aries. We were almost dangerous. But it was frightening how well we got on.
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Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 11:41 pm
wow....gemini...i'll be sure not to get engaged..although at this point a javelin through the heart might not be half bad..haha jk...
sorry..my puppy passed away today so i'm kinda not myself right now..
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Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 9:59 am
Thank you for giving my topic a home. lol
I'm a libra myself and I'd like to think that I act like one. I like having a happy balance and I'm artisticly inclined (you should hear me sing).
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Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:27 pm
Oh... you mean I wasn't supposed to shove ductape up my nose on the day of driving test? O.o
lol,
Cancer had a short horoscope. gonk
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Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 3:15 pm
Phaedra and I are both Fire (she's Aries, and I'm Sag) anyone wanna come over for a party?
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 2:20 am
Ahahahaaa! blaugh heart I LUFF that song!! whee heart I AM the true lord of the dance...feck those guys at work... crying
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 4:50 pm
~Lucid Dreams~ Ahahahaaa! blaugh heart I LUFF that song!! whee heart I AM the true lord of the dance...feck those guys at work... crying *huggles* Another Pisces^^
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Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 3:53 pm
I was born a capricorn, but I'm not responsible, mature, material, or reserved. mad p I'm too childish and ignant.
I think I'm sort of a /pices/sagittarius/aquarius/taurus mix. could be the split personalities, could just be the elements balancing each other out. sweatdrop I can never peg myself down too much anyway, I'm.. jumbly. domokun
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