I kinda just need to get these thoughts out of my head and written down where I can see them. Plus, I'd like feedback. xD Where better than this guild?

So, I've been single for a year now. But I haven't been with the only girl I've ever truly loved for almost three years. She's still my best friend, though, and in spite of attempts to sever connections with her, I just keep coming back for more. What am I, some kind of emotional masochist?

Getting off topic... Anyway. The point is that I've been single and without romantic love for a long time. Part of me is okay with that. After all, I'm only seventeen (soon to be 18! ^^), and there should be plenty of time later for love. And, on a certain level, I'm fairly confident that I'll be able to find someone, someday.

But part of me... The stupid, girly, romantic part... really misses that feeling of loving and being loved. Yeah, on some level, I'm still in love with that girl. But she's with someone else now, so I've pretty much accepted that it's not gonna happen in this lifetime (still keeping my fingers crossed for the next one).

And then there's the terrifying possibility that... I just won't find anyone. That I'll spend the rest of my... rather pathetic existance completely alone. After all, I live smack-dab in the middle of Mormon-central (AKA Utah), and my experience is that online relationships never, ever work. What if things don't work out, and I can't move to Seattle like I want to? What if I'm stuck here forever, in a '********' environment? D:

I don't really know what to do. Whether I should try to find someone else now or wait until I'm over 18 and out of Utah to start looking for a serious girlfriend...

Well... These have pretty much been the rantings of an emotionally confused teenaged girl (aren't I so unique? xD)... Make of it what you will. Comments are appreciated, and thanks, especially if you read all the way through to this line. Means a lot.

Peace~.
<3