[PRP] Someday, I will wear your skin as a hat. (Kele x Kepo)

[troll toll]

Kepo hadn't successfully found a girlfriend yet, and honestly he was feeling a little rattled by the experience of searching. The females beyond their borders were just ... odd. Odd, plain and simple. So far he hadn't met a single one that he could stomach. They all looked and acted strange. Wrong, all wrong. They very thought made Kepo scowl. He would find the perfect female, but it would take more time than he had thought.

So he was taking a brief break from his search, and spending some time at home to unwind and gather his thoughts. The adolescent stomped past the dens, his pale eyes glittering with suppressed irritation. Being home soothed his wounded spirits, but it also made him worry that someone else would beat him to the prize, and bring home a lady.

Such a thing would be unacceptable.

And then Kepo smiled, his bad mood falling away as he spotted the one person he loved to hate more than anything in the world.

Kele.

Striding arrogantly towards the stupid, sniveling, craven pup, Kepo's lips drew back into a sneer. "Hello, cousin," he said, sneering down at the runty little beast. "Your tiny little brain probably can't even comprehend what I'm saying, but I'd like to crush you like the dung beetle you are. Maybe I will." He took a threatening step towards the younger hyena, cackling furiously. Of course he wouldn't actually try to crush Kele ... unless provoked.  

[bipolar bee]

Kele was feeling utterly smug and completely proud of himself. Not only had he brought home a lady, but she was a beautiful lady whose beauty could easily surpass that of his mother or his aunt. She had a strange name, yes, but he was going to talk to his mother this very day about changing the name of that stupid slave. He would never allow his beautiful lady share the name of a slave. Why had his mother given the slave such a wonderful name anyway? Surely she deserved a name like 'Rock' or 'Dung' or 'Spit' but not Manyara -- Manyara was the name of a goddess, of that Kele was certain.

Spotting his cousin, Kele seethed for a moment as he approached. He seethed, that is, until he remembered that he had brought home a beautiful and sweet lady. He doubted stupid Kepo had had much success or else he wouldn't be out and about looking so vile and horrible... like his stupid father, Bekeli.

"Greetings, cousin," Kele replied, his eyes livid with all the fury that burned in his heart, "Your stupid words make no sense to me. I heard my mother making fun of your father the other day. I heard your papa eats elephant poop." He smirked grandly, as of yet unwilling to depart with the little tidbit of news he just KNEW would drive Kepo insane.  

[troll toll]

Kepo could feel his rage beginning to build, as it always did when he encountered Kele. But he went with it, loving it. The insult about Bekeli didn't bother him much. Kepo was far from attached to the male that had supposedly contributed something to his litter. Seeing as none of the pups looked like Bekeli, Kepo doubted it was true at all.

"I don't have a papa," Kepo said disdainfully. "And if I did and he did eat elephant poop, he would still be better than you." Kepo drew himself up to his full height, which admittedly wasn't too tall compared to an adult male, but was certainly taller than stupid Kele. "You'll never be the papa of anything. You're the stupidest, ugliest, most worthless little male in the world. A female would probably rather have a lion as a consort than you."  

[bipolar bee]

Kele's face slowly changed, a small unsettling smile resting on his terrible little mouth. He hemmed and hawed, not giving one iota of a response to his cousin's words. Kele straightened his tailfur with a paw after he finished fabulously shaking out the pink hair that so resembled his beloved mama. He lifted a paw as if he were checking for dirt on his foot as he idly replied, "At least I have a girlfriend."

That was all. That one little bomb was dropped with such precision and delight. As soon as the last word was uttered Kele's eyes darted to meet his awful cousin's -- he wouldn't miss Kepo's reaction for anything in the world. Each word had been enunciated so perfectly, so precisely. Nothing Kele had said could be mistaken for something else.

Of course he would never REALLY admit that Manyara wasn't yet his girlfriend, but he'd FOUND her and that meant that she was HIS!!  

[troll toll]

Kepo did not like the way Kele was smiling. He did not like it at all. He was used to being able to enrage Kele with only a few words. This calm smiling was ... wrong. Maybe Kele knew something he didn't.

That, too, was wrong. Kepo's sneer grew into a bared-teeth grimace that was closer to a snarl. He would bite the little gargoyle's face off if he uttered the wrong word, and he probably would be thanked for it by Dikeledi -

A girlfriend? A girlfriend? Kepo let out a choked sound that was somewhere between a growl and a snort. He stared down at the dirty little fleabag incredulously ... and then he laughed. "A girlfriend! You don't have a girlfriend, you stupid little turd!" Kepo sputtered, delighted at Kele's foolishness. "Where would you find a girlfriend? Did you build one for yourself out of elephant poop?" He was really laughing now, unable to get over the absurdity of it.  

[bipolar bee]

Elephant poop? Was he kidding? Kele grew visibly incensed bye Kepo's words. The only thing that made Kele feel better was the look on Kepo's awful face. Twisted and sneering, he looked like the back end of a lion. Hardly a face that a beautiful female such as his Manyara would find handsome, not like Kele's face.

"I found her near the borders," Kele growled, jutting his chest out like a toad furiously bloated with air. "Her name is Manyara. Since her name is Manyara I was just going to find MY MOTHER DIKELEDI to see if we could change the stupid slave's name to something awful like Stick or Frog or..." he paused a moment, delighting in his next words, "or Kepo. A worthless name for a worthless slave."

And if Kepo didn't believe him, well, he would just have to introduce him to Manyara himself.  

[troll toll]

At last Kele was properly enraged, which made Kepo feel better. Even better than Kele's hilarious lie. But even though the adolescent was laughing, he was also irritated with the stupid little pup. He puffed up himself, looking a bit like an angry cat as he glared down at Kele.

"HA!" Kepo bellowed, both amused and furious that Kele would attempt to back up his stupid lie. "You're just a PUP! You couldn't even find MY AUNTIE DIKELEDI, let alone some strange female! Ha, ha, HA!" Kepo spat in the dirt at Kele's feet. He was now visibly puffed up, his legs stiff, like an angry hair balloon propped up on sticks.

"You're such a stupid little pup you can't even think up a real name for this imaginary hyena!" Kepo shouted. "Manyara is a stupid slave! You probably found the stupid slave, and you're too stupid yourself to know it!" Kepo began to prance around Kele on his stiff, angry legs, bristling from head to toe. "Kele has a crush on a lion! Kele has a crush on a lyyy-yun!"  

[bipolar bee]

Kepo was so stupid, he really was. Kele hated his ugly face and his stupid stripes. Kele was the better male, he knew it. Why, Kepo looked nothing like his mother! Kele looked like an almost identical clone of Dikeledi. He even had a name that was made up of parts of Dikeledi's name! Poor stupid Kepo.

"You'll just have to meet her yourself," Kele said airily, rising to his feet and shaking the dust out of his fur as if he were totally bored by Kepo and his idiocy. "I left her with my mama earlier this afternoon after I found her." He beamed at his cousin, though the smile never reached his eyes. "She's joining up with us. Gonna be a DIWANI. You know, one of the council ladies."

HAH. Take that, turd face.  

[troll toll]

This whole tale of a girlfriend was ludicrous and Kepo knew it. He ceased his prancing and yelling and stood still, glowering down at the stupid little pup. Kepo hated him. He hated those unmistakeably Dikeledi-ish stripes, which were utterly ruined by the hideous Sudaj-brown of Kele's coat. Kele looked like his ugly, ugly father. Kepo wanted to throw him off a cliff and watch him scream and cry as he rolled down. Kepo wanted to tear his ugly fur out by the mouthful until Kele was bald, and then kick him onto an anthill.

"A Diwani would never want anything to do with you," Kepo said darkly. Kele's story was nonsense, of course, but it still infuriated Kepo. "You're nothing but a pup. You're a baby. You can't hunt or make babies or do anything." Kele wasn't all that much younger than Kepo was, but as far as Kepo was concerned Kele might as well have been born yesterday. Kepo's intense glare was beginning to grow a little bit crazy. "You're nothing but a stupid pup, and you're never gonna grow up if you don't keep your ugly little mouth shut."  

[bipolar bee]

Kele didn't understand why Kepo didn't want to get up and follow him -- at least, until he finally realized why. His stupid cousin didn't want to lose this fight. He didn't want to come to terms with the fact that Kele had found a girlfriend before him (in his mind, at least) and Kele was only encouraged by this enlightenment.

"Not just ANY Diwani," Kele continued, looking well-pleased with himself, "Diwani'kiume, 'least that's what I heard." He didn't mention that he'd been obviously eavesdropping, no way, no how. "Boss of the stupid man-servants. I'll ask her to be nice to you, maybe, if you start acting a little more nice." Kele thought that was generous of him, he really did.

He ignored the insane glare that his cousin's eyes had and just kept at it. Kele wasn't too bright sometimes... well, most times.

"When I'm up in the sand lazing away and you're down with the slaves watching after my babies maybe I'll think of you. Maybe."  

[troll toll]

A little trickle of fear was beginning to worm its way through Kepo, but he ignored it. Kele couldn't have a girlfriend. He couldn't. It was simply ridiculous. The female hyena that would take an ugly, bigmouthed little weasel of a pup as her boyfriend would be a sorry female indeed.

Still. If Kele brought home a female before him, Kepo would be enraged ... just as he was now.

"I will never look after your babies!" Kepo screamed suddenly, his control snapping. "You're never gonna have any babies, 'cause I'm gonna KILL YOU right now!" He rushed at the younger hyena, jaws snapping.  

[bipolar bee]

If Kele had been smart he'd have seen that coming, but he wasn't sly and sneaky like his father, no. Kele wasn't blessed by both of his parents, just his mother as far as his looks went. When his cousin lunged at him, Kele shrieked and took off running towards his mothers den. He was going to TELL! Kepo was CRAZY! No wonder he hadn't found a lady yet! Kele ran as fast as he could, directly towards his mother's den. There was no telling what Kepo would do once those jaws clamped around any one part of Kele's body, and Kele wasn't stupid enough to hang around and find out.