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 Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 12:10 am
This is a self rp between Roman and his NPC brother Cottus.
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 5:02 pm
Roman paced back and forth in front of his brother who stood wheezing beneath of a full and green tree. Ardus had left them alone for days at a time much of their life but something about this trip seemed different. He had been gone for almost two weeks now, a new record even for him. “Should’ve been back by now.” Roman muttered angrily. It wasn’t that he was concerned for Ardus; it was just that Cottus hadn’t been able to recover this time and he was feeling a little less than comfortable. Turning a chilled blue eye to his brother he motioned to the thick trunk of the tree. “You should lean against that, it would probably relieve the strain on your body.” The way he spoke to his brother had changed, no longer was it a voice of concern but more an order in a harsh tone. Cottus was all he had and now he was getting the feeling he was going to lose him. “Better yet you should probably be lying down.” He barked. At some point in their journey he had begun to feel disconnected to the things around them, living life as if it were something forced. What had changed within him he did not know, only that his brother and himself had seemingly grown apart. Sure they loved each other and he still watched him with the eyes of a hawk but something else had changed. Something on a deeper level.
Turning his eyes back to the scenery he scanned the area for Ardus’ figure emerging from some bush or something. It always seemed like his father crept from the places a creature of little worth would emerge from. It had been quite some time since he actually named Ardus as his father; the word not only tasted sour in his mouth but seemed to rot his mind. He used it as little as possible, making his brother obviously unhappy. “What a worthless stallion.” He spat.
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 5:15 pm
Cottus fought off another bout of nausea as he watched his brother walk back and forth before him. His body had been feeling weak for nearly as long as their father had been gone but this did not worry him. Not as much as it worried Roman, it hurt him to see his brother so frantic. Though he would never admit to it Cottus knew his brother had fear in his heart. Though slightly odd this thought comforted him, his brother did care, a fact he never doubted. “I’m….fine…” He managed feebly. His body had other plans though for dizziness struck and his shoulder was slammed into the trunk of the tree. His breathing came in short gasps and he closed his eyes attempting to regain his equilibrium. He knew he would be lucky to make it through the night. “You…shouldn’t…speak…so…harshly…of…him.” Cottus commented. Though Ardus certainly was not father of the week he still loved him and felt sorry for him. Whatever had driven his father on for this long had taken its toll. He could sense the fatigue in those once strong muscles and the dark circles beneath his eyes alluded to what inner turmoil he was going through. “He…is…our…father.”
He had noticed that for some time now Roman had begun referring to their father as ‘that stallion’ or ‘Ardus.’ Swallowing hard he fought back a wave of sickness, his innards turned to ice and he moved to stumble into a thicket of trees where he lay down. He certainly had gotten weaker and this time the faintness and nausea was not leaving him. The earth beneath him felt good, as though it were keeping him grounded for the time being. “Father.” He repeated aloud.
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 5:24 pm
Roman heard his brother but did not even turn to look at him. “Everything I am saying is the truth.” He shot back. “Even now, when you are the sickest you have ever been he is not here and yet you still wish to call him your father?! Come on Cottus, wake up!” He yelled. Resentment and darkness oozed through his blood like the muck you find on the bottom of a lake. Ardus had made them leave their birthplace, kept them walking even when they begged him to stop and he even ignored the illness of his youngest foal. For a moment he thought the darkness would overtake him, that his heart truly would turn to stone and that he would leave his loyal brother behind. A ‘thump’ sounded behind him and he looked back to see his brother’s tale vanish behind tightly knit tree trunks. “Brother!” He shouted, concern lacing his voice for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime. His legs carried him to where his brother lay and he hovered over him. “Cottus, are you alright?!” He enquired, an entirely new sense of urgency overtaking him. All anger he had for Ardus vanished as he looked down at his brother, a full grown stallion with both beauty and charm. Had time really moved so quickly?
“Do you need me to get you some water? Tell me Cottus, what do you need!?” His tough façade melted away and suddenly he had the desire to cry. How long had it been since he had shed tears? The thought vanished as quickly as it appeared; weakness. The sun beat down on them mercilessly causing his golden coat to heat rapidly. “You can’t stay in this heat.” He looked around frantically for a place for them to take refuge but somehow knew he would be unable to get his brother there.
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Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:08 pm
A rattling laugh escaped from Cottus’ laboring lungs at his brother’s concern. “Just…let…me…lay…here.” Closing his eyes he allowed for the sun to beat down upon his body, hoping that its power would warm him inwardly as well as outwardly. Normally if he lie like this and concentrate on his breathing the attack would ebb and he would be left feeling exhausted. This time, no matter how much he concentrated, the feeling of suffocation would not leave him. He suddenly felt a desire for his father to be there with him, standing beside him and soothing him as he once had before they began this journey. Lifting his eyelids he gazed at his brother a moment, taking in the once liquid blue eyes that had now become ice and the face that seemed to bear so much weight. He couldn’t leave him yet, if he did Roman was liable to go insane or just give up. Though a meager mental resolve could not battle the dark forces at work within him he attempted anyway. “The…sun…feels…pleasant…brother…” He had to stop for an intake of breath before picking up where he left off. “Lay… with…me…a…moment.” He smiled.
Not since before their life had become one centered on constant walking and never finding a place to call home had the two brothers just been brothers. Roman assumed the role which Ardus was supposed to play more often than not and Cottus knew it had forced him to grow up more quickly. Though he harbored no ill will toward his father he couldn’t help but to feel that Ardus had robbed Roman of his years as a mindless foal. “Do…you…resent…me…as…well?” He found himself asking before he could bite his tongue. This had been what he was truly thinking during their never ending journey.
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Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 4:22 pm
Roman snorted at his brother’s request, taking it as a sarcastic remark at first. Why would a stallion lie beside another stallion? Weak and pathetic. Even so he was forced to consider the request in a more sentimental manner due to his brother’s tone. “Sure…” Bowing down on his front legs he lowered the rear half to the ground and looked at his brother. “Better?” He felt very foolish but knew his brother was unwell and felt a certain obligation to him. The sweat had made his mane begin to stick to his neck in unruly clumps. “Pleasant?” He laughed. “About as pleasant as standing too close to a fire.” He was about to go on when his brother said something that caused his innards to twist and the little relief he was feeling snuff out. “What?” His tone had lost all playful edge, turning into something dark and grating. “Why would you even ask that Cottus!?” Red eyebrows pulled down in an angered expression as he stared into his brother’s eyes. Even though he had spent much of his life taking care of his brother he had never once resented it. Roman had always known that Cottus was the one reason he didn’t just tell Ardus to go to hell and strike out on his own. Cottus kept them together, a family, a rather broken one but one all the same.
“I have never resented you Cottus….never.” His expression softened and he lowered his head. “We may have had our rough patches but I have always…..loved you brother.” With a shake of the head he removed the feeling of foolishness. He and his brother had to have a talk like this, something was happening and he felt it. “I resent Ardus and all he has put the two of us through, especially you…”
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Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 6:53 pm
Hearing his brother’s laugh lifted Cottus’ spirit if even only a little. It had been so long since he had even heard a chuckle coming from Roman. Normally his brother had the countenance of stone and the personality to match. “Better.” He responded breathlessly. Having his brother lie beside him soothed some of the fear that had begun building in his gut. He hadn’t even realized how hot it was until he noticed the lathered sweat building on his brother’s body. “Sometimes…too…close…is…not…close..enough…” He would have laughed had his brother’s demeanor not suddenly changed. He had known as soon as he had asked the question that he should not have. He winced at Roman’s sharp tone and focused on a tree in the distance. Even if Roman had been thinking about him in such a way he wouldn’t have told him. Cottus knew his brother loved him but hearing it made his heart swell. Small tears came to his eyes and he had to smile. “I…love…you…too…Roman.”
Lifting his head from the earth he shook it, every muscle in his body protesting the movement. “Father.” He said simply, trying to point at that he wanted Roman to stop calling their father Ardus. He knew he didn’t have much time, just something inside was telling him so. “Love..Forgive…” With a weak chuckle he allowed his head to once again rest on the ground. Night had begun to fall, had they been laying there that long? Time seemed to have flown by too quickly for either of them to realize. Frustration bubbled up in him at the thought of him being unable to say what he wanted to say. Talking had just suddenly become twice as strenuous.
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Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 10:08 pm
Two words and already his stomach had begun to sink and become like a block of ice. Love? Forgive? How could he do such a thing when even merely glancing at his brother was a reminder of why he was so bitter? Even now their father was not around, when Cottus was the worst he has ever been. “Cottus, please, don’t start that lecture right now.” Since they were young they had fought about this exact same topic. Roman looked to the now darkening sky and felt his nerves come to a point. “We can’t stay in the open during the night. I am certain it will get cold and we need to find some shelter.” How many times had he found them a shelter to hide in? How many times had he stayed awake all night guarding his brother and making sure he was still breathing? Too many for even him to count. Cottus’ labored breathing and inability to speak had really been grating on him. Though these were the typical symptoms and he had suffered in this manner before it had never lasted this long. Even so, he would not allow worry lines to wrinkle his forehead. He could not show weakness to his brother now, not in this or any other situation. “Do you think you can move?” His authoritative tone returned and he was no longer speaking to Cottus as a brother but as a charge.
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Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 10:26 pm
Following the usual pattern Roman merely swiped a serious conversation aside and this time Cottus didn’t have the strength to fight with him over it. During these past few months of traveling Cottus began noticing subtle changes in his brother. At first it just started as what Cottus assumed was an overprotective nature when it came to him. He figured Roman was so cold because he just wanted to focus on protecting his brother and not all of the emotions running through his heart. Then Roman would no longer conceal his hatred for their father and he became more and more dull. Now, the newest development, he would walk away when something serious popped up. A cough shook his body, racking his ribs and causing him to wheeze even harder. “Stay…here…” Was all he could come up with. He knew he would be unable to bring himself to his feet and he was already becoming more and more sleepy. “Safe.” He said with a forced smile. How he wished the world wasn’t growing darker by the second. “Forgive.” He repeated. If Cottus were not to wake from his slumber he would at least wish to fix the relationship between his brother and father before he left this world. “Forgive…father…” He hoped Roman would listen, if he didn’t Cottus worried for his brother’s fate after he was gone.
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Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 11:48 am
Roman’s patience had begun to wear thin as his brother continued harping on the matter of their father. Shifting into a position so he could look into Cottus’ golden eyes he frowned. “You are similar to one of those damned woodpeckers Cottus. Constantly hammering away at something in an attempt to get your meal, it is rather annoying. Leave it be, I will not forgive Ardus no matter how many times you try to get me to. Just shut up and get some rest before you make yourself even worse.” With that he snorted unpleasantly and looked skyward. Life in the open was not safe when darkness fell, with every star appearing in the sky Roman could feel the sense of danger in his gut growing. Looking back to his fading brother he suddenly felt very helpless and very uncomfortable. Without Cottus around it would be Ardus and him all alone. That thought sent a gooey sensation down his spine, sickening as it was. He knew if Cottus died he would be alone, something within him spoke truthfully that this time his father would not return wearily from his journey. “Don’t go…” He murmured to his brother.
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Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 12:23 pm
His brother’s words were sharp and quite to the point. Cottus had failed in his attempt to bring what little remained of his family together. He and his father got along well, even though it was more of a ignore and be ignored relationship. He loved his father and knew there was some deep hurt cut into his heart that kept him moving the way he did, that kept him disconnected from those around him. Exhaustion had begun to take its toll on what outwardly appeared to be a strong body. It was now that Cottus had wished he had spent more time with the mares whose paths he had crossed. At least then he would have lived on in name with others outside of his immediate family. To have your name remembered is a form of immortality, even Roman believed in that. “Roman…” He whispered sadly. Fear gripped him as he felt his body growing cold, it was now inevitable that he should die this night and leave his brother to fend for himself. “Brother…” He didn’t want to die; it really wasn’t fair that this mystery illness had taken him down. He wanted to continue on with his brother, find a mare, have children and see his father and brother forgive one another. Roman’s murmur caught his attention and he smiled, the fear being subdued for a moment. His brother loved him and he knew it, he would be missed. With that he closed his eyes for the final time and fell into a gentle sleep, sure he would pass on sometime in the night.
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Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 12:41 pm
Roman heard whispers coming from his brother but was unable to catch the words. He figured Cottus had just fallen asleep and was dreaming about one thing or another. Even though his brother was breathing peacefully he couldn’t ignore the unease growing in his chest. He looked at his brother for a long time before rolling on his side and closing his eyes. Sleep did not come easily to him for worry clouded his thoughts and kept him awake. His life was beginning to change in what seemed like the blink of the eye and he was helpless to stop it. Though the cold of the night bit into him just the sensation of his brother breathing beside him comforted him and he was finally able to slip into a dreamless sleep.
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Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 12:42 pm
--Dawn Approaches and the World Once Again Comes to Life--
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Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 6:12 pm
Dawn’s pink fingers painted the open sky above and the dew on the trees and blades of grass began to sparkle. The world was releasing a yawn and stretching as it awoke, it creatures with it. Feeling the light touch of warmth from the sun on his back Roman opened his eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of the crisp morning air. Roman brought himself to all fours and shook off the remnants of sleep before glancing quickly down at his brother. Had he looked more closely he would have noticed the stillness of his brother’s sides, the stiff posture and the lack of steam from a warm body rising into the air. Instead, his eyes still droopy from sleep, he ventured off in search of a stream to wash in and drink from. As he walked he thought back on the short conversation he and Cottus had shared the night before. His brother so desperately wanted him to forgive their ‘glorious’ father but he had no desire to do so. Roman found it rather odd that Cottus was the one with the illness that had been so nonchalantly pushed aside by his father and yet he was the one who never became angry with him. Roman, fully healthy and only slightly less ignored than his brother couldn’t help but to hate the stallion. His thoughts were temporarily suspended when the sound of a stream running nearby caused him to veer in that direction. Upon completion of his morning ritual of bathing, preening and drinking he began heading slowly back to where his brother had hopefully awakened.
It wasn’t uncommon for Cottus to still be sleeping when Roman returned. Often Roman would allow Cottus to wake up without prodding. This was a result of his brother’s condition taking such a toll on him during the night. As the older brother and surrogate father Roman would constantly keep his eye on his brother and take into consideration each aspect of the enigmatic illness. Ardus on the other hand hardly even shifted a feather to the sound of his youngest son wheezing and coughing. Just the thought had Roman’s blood boiling. Though Roman had personal issues with his father most of the resentment came from the treatment of his younger brother. Ever since they had started out on this journey without destination Cottus had been the only thing Roman had. They had never spent a day or night apart their entire lives. A smile painted Roman’s normally grim features at the thought of being uncle to Cottus’ children and living not too far from him and his mate. They would never be truly apart, they couldn’t be, Cottus meant too much to him. Their bond was the deepest bond of brotherhood anyone could ever experience. They often leaned on one another and truly helped each other make it through the miles of walking and the perilous nights without a guardian. Picking up his pace Roman rushed back to their resting place to see his beloved brother.
As soon as he cleared the tree line Roman’s heart turned cold and dropped. Cottus hadn’t moved at all from the position he had taken last night. Normally his brother didn’t move much throughout the night but he did at least move. He would either shift his leg or scrunch up his neck, anything. His test tightened as he drew nearer and his breathing became labored. Though he already knew his brother had passed from this land he still had to make sure. Coming up next to Cottus he fought back the tears that had begun welling up in his soft blue eyes. “Cottus…” His voice cracked. No movement could be seen so he tried again, a bit louder this time. “Cottus!” Still no response. “Cottus!” He shouted, causing some birds in a tree to his right to take flight fearfully. Suddenly the beauty of the world he had noticed just this morning melted away into darkness. Happiness had touched him once again only briefly and now it had been torn away. The tears he had fought to keep hidden spilled over his cheeks and he lowered his nose, pressing it to his brother’s chest. “Wake up,” he cried pathetically, “please…Please wake up!” He could physically feel his heart being torn, a jagged line straight down the middle. His legs felt weak and his breathing was uneven due to sobs racking his body. “Brother…please…” He pleaded once more, desperation evident in his words.
After a moment he turned his face skyward and squeezed his eyes shut. “Please,” he begged, “please bring him back to me…I need him…” To many this scene would seem weak and utterly pathetic but Roman did not care, all he wanted was for life to return to his brother. “I will do anything,” he continued, “I will gladly trade places with him. Just bring him back to me…Don’t make me suffer this life alone…” Holding his ground a moment he stood, as though awaiting an answer but upon hearing none he lowered his head again. Already the black emotion of defeat had begun filling his chest. His brother was dead, the one person who had kept his thoughts clear and his soul burning. Again he pushed at the corpse with his nose affectionately. “Brother…” He whimpered. How could this be fair in any sense? Cottus, the one with such forgiveness, generosity and love in his heart being the one to die. If anyone deserved to die it was Roman whose heart had begun to turn cold. “You deserve this life…not me...” The tears had begun to subside but the grief still remained. “This life is yours now brother…I do not deserve it…I promise, my life is yours now…” The promise was weak and vague but it was a promise none the less.
After hours of grieving Roman knew he must leave, he could not remain with a corpse for the rest of his life. With no means to bury or move his brother he had to make do with just leaving him in that clearing, his body to be gnawed on by animals. The thought sickened him but he was not able to move Cottus’ dead weight by himself. “I promise.” He muttered once again to the corpse before nuzzling it. “I love you brother…” Just the words hurt, so much so that tears had begun to flow again. It was extremely hard for him to turn his back and walk away. His head hung low and a deep pain cut into his heart. He had no idea where he was going or what he was going to do. Tonight would be his first night without his brother…how could he manage it? Death had permanently separated them, and now, Roman knew he was truly alone.--- THE END ---
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