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 Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 11:36 am
So when I came to highschool I decided to eat lunch in the library with my best friend(lets call her Cindy) because we both hate crowds. There she started talking to some kids and I assumed they were her friends and didn't think much of it when they talked to me(even though they were interrupting my reading grr). Turns out she thought the same thing and we became friends with some perfect strangers. Lets name our two new friends Bert and Ernie
That was a nice laugh
So our group comes and goes as four of us eat there everyday. A few weeks or so into the school year, me who doesn't pay attention was asked some question about Bert cheating. They thought I was dating him. Later the details are sketchy but he went out with Cindy for about a week. Which I promptly forgot because neither of them talked about it and the three of us were still friends. I don't remember who's relationship started first but I started dating Bert and Cindy dated Ernie. Ernie seemed bored and they broke up. I managed to stay with Bert for a year and a half until he dumped me(reasons being a distraction and unimportant) but said that we could go out again when he moved out. We are still friends after a week of getting used to not acting like a couple. Cindy still liked him...so a few months after they started going out again...I abandoned thoughts of being with him...but he still loves me and couldn't care about her. 'They' broke up. The three of us are still friends(Ernie having left after he and Cindy broke up) but now Cindy is emotional. She is a constant flow of sad compared to my either hyper or emotionless moods. I love her but I don't know how to comfort her. Bert asked me out again and I said I couldn't. Cindy's distress is making him feel guilty because he never should have asked her in the first place and I never should have said he could. I feel like I never should have gone out with him. I had already noticed my lack of emotion and decided I wasn't interested in dating but giving ppl a chance is part of my nature.
We're good friends and I don't want them to be sad...I also don't want them to pretend they're happy just because I said to be. (I show love by acting violent sweatdrop )
How do I get Bert to stop caring and move on?
How do I cheer up Cindy?
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 8:10 pm
How about telling Bert in person that you can't reciprocate his feelings and that there was a time when you did like/love him but alot of things have changed and it can't be like it was.
With Cindy I think you just have to stand by her and support her. She'll pick herself up. Everyone dose. (Maybe Cindy feels a bit used by Bert?)
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 8:39 pm
Friends really shouldn't date to begin with because you're friendship is on the line if things go sour.
Other than that though, I'd say go with whatever pleases them.
Except Bert or Ernie or whatever you named him, don't date him again.
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Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 2:20 pm
Time is the only thing you can give it. Its going to suck for a bit but as long as there is just friendship for now and nothing more. It happens in a circle of friends and usually when someone splits they either need time to become friends again or split all together. Let it ride out and see if things improve.
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 5:58 am
Thanks for replying, now that we're back at school my distress is gone. Obviously as you said it'll take time and maybe never change because people's feelings don't just go away.
Everything seems fine. Bert understands but he has fits and he'll ask me again and again I'll tell him no. It was during one of those times that I wrote that to help me relax and think about everything instead of the stupid decision for my friends to date that I allowed.
Again thanks, my computers dying so I'm off
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