- This isn't an office; it's hell with fluorescent lighting.
- The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
- I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
- I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
- I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
- It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.
- How about never? Is never good for you?
- I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
- I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
- I might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level, I'm really quite busy.
- I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
- Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
- If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
- Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
- I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
- How do I set the laser printer to stun?
- Who, me? I just wander from room to room.
Dorfman, Lawrence. The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal Sparring. New York: Skyhorse Publishing, 2009.
- The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
- I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
- I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
- I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
- It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.
- How about never? Is never good for you?
- I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
- I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
- I might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level, I'm really quite busy.
- I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
- Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
- If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
- Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
- I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
- How do I set the laser printer to stun?
- Who, me? I just wander from room to room.
Dorfman, Lawrence. The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal Sparring. New York: Skyhorse Publishing, 2009.
