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 Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 5:33 pm
Aludra stared over the border of his knees to the densely lined streets below. His tri-coloured gaze was listless, short hair tousled by the wind around him, arms wrapped around his legs. Yet despite a seemingly calm disposition, the young man's heart was racing.
Within... well, he wasn't sure how long. He was going to wait on the ledge until he finally got up the urge, brought up the impulse, pulled up the ability to jump off the edge of the building and feel himself shatter on the concrete below. Then, he would never be able to make a mistake like that again. Then, he would never hurt his poor Lirona again. Then, no one would ever hurt because of him, no one would ever have to be around him, no one would ever have to see him again, and if he really did what he thought he did...
...then he wouldn't have to live with what he had done.
Tears still dripped from his eyes as he stared out into the street, body trembling from the inside-out, pain clutching at his heart. He could still hear the commotion from the apartment, still hear the approaching ambulance. A part of the teenager was afraid of what he was about to do, but more than that was assured that it was the only way he would get away from the terror that his life had become. It was the only way to avoid what he'd done to Lira.
Most importantly, it was the only way to be sure that he would never do it again.
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Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:53 am
It was the single dumbest stroke of luck that Damien happened to be occupying the same rooftop that Aludra chose that night. It was unusual for him to be in Aludra's neighborhood at all, coming from polar opposite sides of the socio-economical spectrum. But, lucky for everyone, Damien was a natural traveler, and tonight the wanderlust bug had given him a big bite. Homework resting completed at home, he sat lethargically on the rooftop, looking up at what few stars he could see and contemplating.
Then suddenly, he was joined by someone else. Damien's tail flipped peevishly at the intrusion, and he made to skulk back into the shadows and find another, more lonesome, rooftop. In a non-arrogant fashion, Damien rather disliked people who frequented rooftops; they creeped him out, with their intense eyes and their... morbid motives. Given the boy was still young, it was lost on him that if someone saw him on a rooftop, they might say the same thing.
As he journeyed off to find another place to stare away his night, a bright light passed underneath the apartment building; red and blue whirling together, emergency lights. The sound of the siren caught Damien's attention, and he looked over his shoulder once more, his eyes seeing the silhouette of the figure framed by the lights. The long horns pointed up into the sky above, the long tail stretched out behind him, the arms clung to him in a such an eerily familiar way...
A gasp of horror jumped from Damien's throat. "A-A-Aludra...?!"
Being Wrath, he didn't wait to see what would happen; he knew what would happen. He didn't wait to try and talk to him; he knew what Aludra would say, if he said anything at all. Impulse-driven and panicking, Damien sped up beside his friend, latched onto the back of his shirt, and yanked him backwards, sending him toppling from his deadly perch. In an instant the boy was straddled on his hips (a much more intimate position that he would have normally been able to handle), his hands pinning Aludra's wrists to the ground. His expression was teary and confusion panic as he yelled.
"Aludra! What the hell are you doing?! Why the hell would you-" The preteen shook for a moment, baffled and scared, before shouting with renewed vigor. "Why would you do that?! Don't you know how many people would be sad?! What- What about your girlfriend? And your son!"
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:27 pm
Finally, his final ounce of nerve had been gathered. Gathered because it was the last that he would ever need. Gathered because he was finally ready to let go of everything. Gathered, because he was too terribly selfish to realize what it would do to the rest of his family. Gathered before he thought long enough to realize the pain his death could cause, while his addled brain remained convinced that his death could really be for the best. Gathered...
...because it would just be so much easier.
The voice passed with the wind, red-rimmed eyes falling shut, one foot oustretching over the side of the building, before he fell opposite the way he was expecting.
A startled choke was forced out of his pinched throat, the air forced from his lungs when gravel clawed into his pale back. He gasped pathetically for air that should have already been torn from broken lungs, feeling the tears once again pour out of his eyes. He... he... someone... someone had... h-had...
When those eyes coloured in triplicate finally responded to the brain that they'd attached to, realizing that they'd prepared for a never-arriving blindness, they locked onto the heterochomatic, tear-filled eyes of the man who had pinned him. The boy. His heart pounded in his ears, head slowly shaking from side to side. The voice that fell past his lips was that of a dead man, someone who had accepted the end of their days, alive only in the physical world. "What have you done...?"
But the life came rushing back when he was told off. When sense was made of all of what he should have been thinking about, all of what he should have known all along. But with it came the flood of regret, the flood of horribly guilt that made the man feel like he was going to be sick. A moan fell from his throat, crying out to the heavens and hells and very world around him for a release from the horrific emotional suffering that threatened to tear him apart. His voice was then a whimper, but his own, a whimpered, pathetic sound filled with guilt, with sickness, and with overwhelming self-hatred.
"N-no... nooo, my dearest Lord, Damien, don't you realize, don't you realize?" he choked, shoving Damien's hands from his wrists in a fit of tragic desperation, fingertips digging painfully into the boy's shoulders, wild eyes looking into the preteen's, desperate for him to hear these words. "I may have killed him, Damien!! I hurt her... I hurt her so much! There was blood... Lord, there was blood everywhere!! I've hurt my own son, God, Damien, MY OWN SON!! I might have killed him and you want to tell me that I should still so much as breathe this very air?! You... you want to tell me that I'm not better off a red blotch on the pavement...?!"
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Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 10:50 am
Damien had never been so scared in his whole life. He was afraid of Aludra, of his lucid red-stained stare and trembling energy, of the dark and twisted desires brewing inside of him, clouding his judgment and reason. He was afraid of the man becoming angry with him, and of his own possible inability to hold his friend down. Aludra was Damien's role model, his single evidence that someone living in such deep war with themselves could have a happy life. To see him so irrational and helpless against his darker thoughts; it shook Damien to the core.
But he would not let him go. The young spawn swore this to himself as he forced all of his strength onto Aludra's chest. If he could ever be possible of a good thing, he would calm Aludra down, bring him back from this brink of madness. He was going to save him, period, end of story. He locked his expression into one of complete determination as Aludra spilled out his motives.
Damien had to admit that he was shocked to hear what Aludra had done. But he wouldn't let his fear show, he wanted to be understanding. His panicked brain muddled through the story, and finally latched onto something he felt he could use. He grabbed Aludra's wrists and shook him, voice angry and serious.
"And how the hell did you think we would all feel about this?! Did you really not consider that? Yes, you hurt your girlfriend bad, and that was ******** stupid of you, but do you really, REALLY think that she wants you dead?! Holy s**t, you would leave her completely alone, maybe with a kid!!" Damien's frustrations with the whole situation grew, and he snarled furiously, digging his claws into Aludra's skin dangerously. "This- This isn't the goddamn right ******** way to fix this s**t, you moron!! You ******** think that your girlfriend would actually be happy without you in the damn picture, either with a ******** kid to raise by herself or having to deal with losing two things she cares about?!" He grabbed Aludra's collar and shook him, not caring if he hit his head in the process. "Well then you're ******** retarded!! She loves you, we all goddamn love you and... And... Grrrr!! If you do this, you are so ******** weak, Aludra! If you do that, you're the most goddamn s**t-for-brains weak-willed SELFISH person in this stupid ******** world!"
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 2:23 pm
Aludra didn't want to listen. It wasn't a surprise, really. He wanted to retain the ignorance, the innocence that kept him believing that his choice was the right choice, regardless of how arrogant the thought was. If he was right, just this once, he would not risk doing something like that again, because he knew that if he did something that stupid again, he would tear himself apart from the inside out. He was just trying to give himself the merciful death that a coward deserved.
Unfortunately for him, his ears would not succumb to the desperate pleas of his mind, and he was forced to listen to every word that came from Damien's mouth, writhing beneath the boy like the possessed undergoing an exorcism. He didn't need to hear this, he didn't need to hear this, he needed to end it, he needed to make everything stop, make sure, make sure that he would never hurt Lira again, that he would never hurt Lira again!!
But just as though the demon was lifted, Aludra went limp when Damien stopped speaking, eyes staring sightlessly at the star-spotted sky. The man laid like that for a while, not moving, barely breathing, only blinking every now and again. Finally, after what felt like hours, he lifted his arms and pulled Damien into a tight, powerful hug, sobs wracking his entire muscular form. "Th-th-thank y-you," he whimpered pathetically, burying his face in the crook of the preteen's neck, suddenly grateful as a result of the images that had assaulted him while he was in his trance-like state.
Images of his lover burying their child by herself. Images of Lirona crying beside a memorial to the both of them, dreadfully alone. Images of Lirona going through the very same act. Images of her looking for comfort in the arms of another man. Images of her, alone, up all night long with a child barely strong enough to breathe by itself. All images of her alone, her with someone else, images of any sort that either tore at his heart or boiled his blood. All of them led to the same line of thought. He was wrong. He was wrong, wrong, wrong. And any other alternative was completely unacceptable.
"I ca-ca-can't bel-believe th-that I was s-so exci-excited t-to be-e a f-father... a-and tha-at I w-would e-ever ri-isk gi-giving it a-all up..." he murmured sadly, shaking his head and clinging tighter to the younger male, trying to get a hold of himself and failing miserably. He knew that he would have to eventually. He was already formulating a plan in his head, a way to make up for all of this. He would make it better, he was sure of it...
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Posted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 1:56 pm
Despite the thrashing of the older spawn, Damien's grip didn't waver an inch. If anything, it got more intense, Wrath-born muscle the boy didn't know he had keeping his idol in place. His jaw was set as firmly as his grip, and his heterochromatic eyes were glued onto Aludra's face. He had no sympathy for his elder, not even for the self-destructive thoughts that he shared with him. It was that similarity that gave Damien more reason than anyone else (okay, perhaps not Lirona) to pin him down and scream at him. He could understand using pain as a form of punishment for the things that you've done wrong; the scar tissue that exploded across his chest was proof enough of that. But it never, never had occurred to him to ever destroy himself completely, not even once. As much of an aberration that he was upon the world, he knew that killing himself would destroy the people who loved him, so even if he had wanted to, he would stop for them. Because he was not so arrogant that he would choose to hurt them so for his own peace of mind. And he would make Aludra understand this, even if he had to pin him to this stupid building all damn night long and scream himself hoarse. The Greed spawn was too important: to Lira, to his son, to Damien himself. He would not let him go without a fight.
But, thank God, that fight never came. True, when Aludra sprung up and wrapped him in that bear hug, his wound-up reflexes almost made him strike at him, but that impulse quickly passed. The young Wrath spawn seemed to deflate, collapsing with the relief that overwhelmed his success. Without shame he buried his face in Aludra's hair, one hand smacking his leg before moving to join the other in returning the hug, his tail reaching to intertwine weakly with the longer one. Shaken tears trickled down his face, and his voice was laden with relieved chuckles. Despite his still-present anger, Damien smiled into his friend. He'd actually done something to help someone... And Aludra was going to get better...
A thought then suddenly dawned on him and he pulled back slightly, although not enough to let go of his role model. He doubted that he'd trust Aludra enough to let go of him for a long time. His voice was soft, filled with hesitant inquiry. "D-Do you have a place to live now? Because... If you don't, I was thinking, well, if you want to, that you could probably stay with Cat. Y'-Y'know, from the Facility? Yeah, he and my dad are old... somethings, so I stay there a lot. Maybe that would work?" Although he didn't smile, his eyes were glowing with hope. He knew that Cat wouldn't let Aludra hurt himself anymore.
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:50 am
Aludra was quite content to stay in the embrace that he had been pulled into, burying himself against the younger male with little attention to how pathetic the act made him look. His lithe form trembled against Damien's, tail curling tightly around the both of them. Heedless of any boundaries the two of them may have previously had, by the time Aludra finished scrambling closer to the boy, Damien was practically in his lap, his legs half-wrapped around the younger boy.
His head was nestled against Damien's neck, eyes closed and lashes damp with tears. Each breath he took made his lungs tremble, his entire shaking body craving a cigarette more than almost anything else. Of course, he didn't expect the preteen to have any of those on him, and thusly tried to snub out his jonesing-fit as best as he was able to, though the shivering wasn't going to go away anytime soon without one.
By the time Damien started speaking, Aludra caught himself with his lips pressed against the boy's neck, pulling back and silently scolding himself. He forced himself to listen to the offer, pulling away from his friend and turning his attention to those heterochromatic eyes. Mind you, this didn't seem to help him either, his greedy heart feeling sick with a want to be wanted, loved in a time when he felt lower than dirt, given a reason to leave the building intact.
"I-I--" Aludra stammered, cutting himself off to chuckle awkwardly, another shiver running through his body. He let out an awkward sigh, biting at his lip, shoulders shaking from either laughter or nicotine withdrawal. "Isn't it f-fun-funny th-that at a t-time like th-this, with an o-offer like that, a-a-all I wa- I w-want to ask is w-whether or n-n-not he h-has any ci-ci-cigarettes?" he asked jokingly, the faintest of awkward little smiles on his face as he tipped his head to one side, and pressed his lips against Damien's.
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