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 Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 12:34 am
*gasps* Did somebody peek? whee
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 1:16 am
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Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 6:38 pm
 | Turning tricks | Scratching your Itch | I'm a robbing snitch | Come get your Zydrate fix | 
Sometimes you have to get on your back yourself.
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 4:27 pm
 |You shut your mouth|
|How d a r e you say|
|I go about things the w r o n g w a y|
|I am a h u m a n and I need to be l o v e d|
|Just like everybody else does| ▂▃▅▆█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌▌ 
▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌█▌▆▅▃▂ |When you s a y it's gonna happen 'now'|
|When exactly do you m e a n?|
|See I've already waited too long|
|and a l l my h o p e is gone|
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Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 4:29 pm
|Don't {t h i n k} that your so great, cause being G R E A T must s-u-u-u-u-c-k| |My {h e a r t} is in the right place|
|So wipe that s-m-i-r-k right o f f your [face]|
|Don't make me feel like t-h-a-t|
|Cause that's [just] plain not nice|
 ▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶▶
◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄◄ |We don't a l w a y s see the [bright] side|
|And I lied when I said I was fine|
|You s l a p p e d my face today|
But I have licked my w o u n d s and {c a r r i e d} on
|Reality is {t r u l y} scaring me|
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:06 pm
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:50 am
 Outside|Observer|Concludes:. . .
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 3:06 am
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 6:45 am
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 5:26 am
 →ŦhэmeMy father is a selfish gangster, and I'm just like himPolყvorэ←
What the F*** are you doin' readin' my thread?
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Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:55 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:08 am
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 10:31 am
 xX xX _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
【Despite the lies that you're making, your love is mine for the taking】✦┫M▪A▪R▪A▪K┣✦【I will be the one that's gonna hold you, I will be the one that you run to】¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ Watching Areidene more-so than the King and Queen of Gildur simply because it was impolite to not bow ones head in the presence of royalty, ‘Mara’s’ eyes could not help but slightly glow at the sight of Areidene becoming so well acquainted with her blood relations. Areidene was happy, and though Marak rarely showed emotion on his, or in this case her face, she had allowed a slight amount of glee to glisten within her yellow eyes. The only time Marak showed any large form of glee or smiles, was when the subject of revenge had broken the atmosphere. Goblins adored revenge, it was simply engrained within their genetics. Bowing more when Areidene mentioned ‘her’ name, Marak spoke absolutely nothing while she spoke.
“ Mother, father, Mara has become, over the years, my lady-in-waiting. She is king and knowledgeable as well as a wonderful friend and companion. I wish for her to be allowed to stay and welcomed as such.”, Feeling the need to reimburse his own command, that Rudolfos believed was from someone different, Mara bent her body in respect before rising to gain their attention, and speaking; though her head remained bowed.
“ At all times.”, Glancing up for only a heartbeat, Marak began to notice the human King’s eyes glazing over with worry. Rudolfos’ attention pinned somewhere behind her. Of course it would be rude to turn her head and glance towards whatever the King happened to be staring at, so Marak simply kept listening to the tone and feel of the footsteps behind him long enough to determine that it was not Torok rejoining them unorthodoxly. When a flash of blue caught ‘her’ attention, ‘Mara’ turned her head only slightly to lock eye-contact with their stranger, and both her and the elven stranger’s face paled from shock and surprise. A sickening feeling tightening the inside of her stomach, Mara was stunned. Incapable of further speech.
‘ An elf lord!? How could our scouts not have sensed Elven presence?’, This was a horrible calamity that could not be excused. As soon as humanly possible, Mara was going to use Areidene’s bedroom mirror to converse with his high council and get to the bottom of this dilemma. Unknown to Marak, the King and two guards were the only elves to leave a human ship and walk onto the land of Gildur, coated in anti-detection and protective spells that only the Elvish King could perform. Too distraught over firmly believing that the elvish race was close to extinction, the sight of a simple, but well dressed, Goblin Lord was too slighting to be joyous about. Indeed, Goblins sought Elvish brides above every other race, human or animal, and their return could indicate the rekindling of strong magic to the goblin race. In no way did Marak regret his decision to marry a young, magic-less, human named Areidene, but the fact that the high ranking goblin families could possibly have elvish brides was too tempting a thought not to contemplate once the shock began to settle. ‘ Such a pity…’
“ Forgive my intrusion your majesties,”, The man seemed to grimace just to share eye-contact towards her, and Marak felt her stomach quench uncomfortably to feel the effects of his stare. Being in the form of a woman meant that the goblin could somewhat feel feminine thoughts and emotions, and to be so slighted by a handsome male of any race was not a pleasant jab to the chest for one to feel. Not glaring, but showing no affection towards their sworn enemies, Marak waited for the male to ‘try’ and address her as civil as elvishly possible.
“ There was a bit of an accident outside that requires your attention.”, So the elf lord happened to stumble across Torok? Marak bowed her head in respect, but made no movement towards the door. Leaving Areidene with that elf in the same room was like being denied the air to breathe, and Marak could not bear the thought of it unless it was absolutely necessary. ‘ If Torok was seriously wounded, the elf Lord would be expressing some forms of accomplishment.’, Assuming based on past elvish actions that she had read about in the ‘King’s Wife Chronocles’, Mara simply shook her head as if oblivious to the elf lord. As if she was only the simple handmaiden she was pretended to be, and not a general over the goblin army who was responsible for Torok’s health or condition.
“ Mara…”, Rudolfos seemed to have trouble saying her name. “ This is Lord Cundmaethor Nethraunien, here on matters of state.”
Marak’s heart had never beat so fast in his life. Eyes widening like the snake her iris’ seemed to mirror, Mara’s face froze and paled over for the second time. Not only was the elvish race still thriving instead of dwindling, the royal line still existed. Of course any well-bred goblin would know history of the elvish raceand magic, and the angered concern showing in the Elvish King’s eyes at seeing Mara’s face pale in shock showed that the King very well knew this fact. ‘ He has no idea whom he has revealed himself to.’, Ignoring the Elvish King’s pretty face, Marak turned his attention back to his darling ‘mistress’ and walked towards Areidene to stand behind her and linger in the background.
“ Please. Address me as Daeron your Lordship.”, Perhaps the elf lord meant to distract the Royalty of Gildur, but the queen was not so easily swayed.
“ Accident?”, The queen finally questioned, and the Elvish King bowed in respect towards Anariel.
“ Yes. The…man…resembling a drunken bull with snake-like fingers quite surprised us…”, Marak did not like the way that the Elvish King looked in her direction as his words subtly insulted the goblin race.
“…I am afraid that the goblin will not awaken for a season.”, The elvish king subtly glared towards Marak, and ‘Mara’ pretended not to notice. The tension was electric in the air, and the queen felt suffocated by it.
“ Oh dear…Is there any way to reverse his condition?”, Marak narrowed her eyes slightly. ‘ Yes.’ Elves having been created with the lack of being able to lie as well, the response that the King made could almost be seen as a lie.
“ I am sure that an undetermined amount of sleep will be quite beneficial to his health.”, The queen wishing to change the subject; quickly, she turned towards her newly reunited daughter with a sunshine smile. Clasping Areidene’s hand and directing it towards the elf King, who attended to kiss the back of it in human courtesy.
“ Your Majesty, Daeron, I present to you my daughter…Areidene…Linwe.”, Areidene being a goblin name meaning: King’s wife, The elvish Lord’s eyes seemed to momentarily bulge within his skull in the deepest horror an elvish face could contain without worrying the rest of the present. Such a horrible name had to be erased and remedied immediately. Changing Areidene’s name to her original chosen Royal name of Linwe, (Lyn way), greatly soothed the elvish King who pretended that she was never called so ghastly a title.
“ I am honored by your acquaintance.”, Daeron complimented, and Mara tried very hard not to show the dislike on her face. The queen changing Areidene’s beautiful goblin name was a powerful insult to the goblin King. Who spent a great many hours contemplating exactly what to call her before settling on that perfect name. While there was nothing wrong with Linwe, the fact that Areidene had been erased to be called by it severely tainted Marak’s appreciation of it. Regardless of how attractive and pleasing the eye that Marak’s female body found the elvish King, there was bad blood between them. From this moment onward, whether Cundmaethor knew it or not, Marak started planning a satisfying revenge in the back of her mind. The second him and Areidene were alone in their chambers, the elf Lord would suffer greatly. Emotionally, of course.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
xxxxxx【No, you'll never be alone; when darkness comes▬✦┫The Goblin King┣✦▬I'll light the night with stars; hear my whispers in the dark】
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ [Sorry that took soooo long! Had to make that picture] [align=center][b][img]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y285/HalloAnnie/Goblinlore/Iamprincessnualaa.jpg[/img][color=white]xX[/color][img]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y285/HalloAnnie/Goblinlore/marakf11.jpg[/img][color=white]xX[/color][img]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y285/HalloAnnie/Goblinlore/ariene.jpg[/img][/b][color=maroon][b]_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________[/b][/color][size=9][color=black][b]
【Despite the lies that you're making, your love is mine for the taking】[/b][/color][/size][size=28][color=maroon][b]✦[/b][/color][/size][size=29][color=maroon]┫[b]M[/b][/color][color=darkred][b]▪[/b][/color][color=maroon][b]A[/b][/color][color=darkred][b]▪[/b][/color][color=maroon][b]R[/b][/color][color=darkred][b]▪[/b][/color][color=maroon][b]A[/b][/color][color=darkred][b]▪[/b][/color][color=maroon][b]K┣[/b][/color][/size][size=28][color=maroon][b]✦[/b][/color][/size][size=9][color=black][b]【I will be the one that's gonna hold you, I will be the one that you run to】[/b][/color][/size]
[color=maroon][b]¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯[/b][/color][/align][imgleft]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y285/HalloAnnie/Goblinlore/wedie.jpg[/imgleft] [imgright]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y285/HalloAnnie/Roleplayphotos/marakf3-1.jpg[/imgright][list][list][list][list][list][list][list][list][list][list][list][list][list][list][list][list][list][list][size=10][color=black]
[/color][/size][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][/list][align=center][color=maroon][b]_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________[/b][/color]
[size=9][color=white]xxxxxx[/color][color=black][b]【No, you'll never be alone; when darkness comes▬[/b][/color][/size][size=29][color=maroon][b]✦[/b][/color][/size][size=29][color=maroon]┫[b]The Goblin King[/b]┣[/color][/size][size=29][color=maroon][b]✦[/b][/color][/size][size=9][color=black][b]▬I'll light the night with stars; hear [u]my[/u] [/b][i]whispers[/i][b] in the dark】[/b][/color][/size][color=maroon]
[b]¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯[/b][/align]
[size=10][/size][color=black][/color][color=maroon][i] [/i][/color][color=white][/color]
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 7:49 pm
[New polyvore...and new picture...Bella is running.>.> I think]  In the very hotel room that Fang now dangled a key for, an uneasy silence had overcast the shadows and tainted the atmosphere with a gloomy disposition. Unbeknownst to Casey, the melancholy room was far from empty. However, with the exception of a dull sound echoing every other minute it might have seemed unlikely for anyone to be lurking within its shadows. But then, perhaps all monsters sought quiet places where the lack of lamplight could soothe the wicked soul. Tick tock, tick tock Skully. As the cloudy sky outside prevented natural sunshine from slipping through the half-closed vertical blinds clothing the window, it didn’t matter if Skull kept his eyes open or not. The difference was scarce enough for every trace of vision to intermingle in his warped contemplations.
Creak…snap!
The familiar noise echoed through the cold room with crisp vibrations that rattled against Skull’s palm as the velvet ring box opened and snapped to a close. As if the insanity that threatened to morph his brain was associated with a repetitious pattern, that reoccurring creak and snap would have been the most surefire indicator of madness. How many more snaps until you hear footsteps Harold? The man felt too numb emotionally to handle a mental conversation with his conscience, and with another creak, the man let his hazel-brown eyes linger over the ruby-tinted diamond that glossed its cheerful eye in poignant vanity; as if that little ring genuinely believed that its sparkling beauty could perk up the atmosphere of the room simply by being looked upon. If a person could have been pierced by beauty, Skull certainly felt like he would have a legitimate wound bleeding from his chest. She’ll think I’m beautiful too! Give me to her and she’ll be yours for all eternity… That was, after all, the inspiration behind the ‘Infinity cut’.‘ As if Gems could possibly have symbolism like fortune cookies…’
Creak, snap; Creak, snap! Playing peek-a-boo with a vain engagement ring was getting Skull’s reverie nowhere closer to a cheerful disposition. He’s on his way you know…His conscience never failed to remind him, and Skull continued to remain almost immobile on the bed closest to the window. Resting on his side in nothing but loose fitting black jeans and an unbuttoned ebony shirt; goose-bumps glittered on his skin from a cold that the raven-headed man remained oblivious to. Perhaps the man simply accepted all forms of subconscious torture as he lay in the ruffled up bed with his hair strewn against Bella’s pillow. The bed still smelled like Billy-bee, and in some ways…Skull was trying to absorb as much of her scent as possible…before he couldn’t be that close to her anymore.
Unable to keep images of the previous evening from flashing through his brain over and over like a skip in a dvd, Skull bit down on his healing tongue and tried to distract himself to think of anything else. That ‘anything else’ unfortunately being the conversation…argument…with Casey at the icy lake. You may have apologized to her, but you should consider making amends for all the lies you told me. Those were just some of the words that echoed in his mind to the beat of the ring box snapping shut. ‘ I did lie to you Casey…I don‘t think I can amend that; but, its hard to realize you‘re lying to someone else when you feed lies to yourself so much that you can‘t see things clearly yourself.’ Sometimes it took another person’s notice to recognize your faults, and Skull didn’t mind the punishment after all that had happened. ‘ If it takes being chewed out to get Casey to be honest with me, than that’s what had to happen.’ and yet…Skull found it hard to think about his ex without an emotional needle being slammed into his chest. I’m not the only one that lied.
Creak; snap.
Remembering the time period after that night he stole with Billy, Skull couldn’t help but remember how Casey had been so unsuspecting of his crime as he looked for his ring. Somewhere in that hour Casey had confessed: Skully…I never stopped loving you. At the time Skull had believed it without a second thought; but, really…how could that have been true? ‘ Then why didn‘t he tell me he loved Billy sooner? Why go through the motions of dating me if he wanted someone else?’ The image of Casey screaming the words: Then get the ******** out of my way slammed against his psyche in a soundless video inside of Skull’s head with a bitter taste washing over his taste buds. ‘ I haven‘t done…anything in the past week to keep him and Billy apart. He could have shown up to talk to her at ANY TIME and I would have let them be. Yes, I stalled time by going to the lake…but what man would want to hurry to a death sentence?’, Deep down Skull naturally assumed that Casey would try and talk to Billy on his own without any assistance from Skull, and that was one reason that he used to justify lingering by the lakeside. Shouldn’t assume anything Skully. He might be too chicken s**t to come here. Rolling onto his back to gaze at the designs on the ceiling; Skull’s entire body felt laden and heavy as the guilt that had weighed him down all evening continued to keep him glued to the bed.
The guilt gnawed at Skull’s psyche like a nibbling mouse testing a piece of cheese, and the man couldn’t stop the black monster from eating away at his soul any more than he could stop it when the mouse was a roaring lion the evening before. You know what you did, his mind punished; but, there was nothing Skull could do about the past now that it was done. Life unfortunately wasn’t a computer that could fry up without a moment’s warning and erase past mistakes. Do you really regret last night? As much as Skull tried to; he couldn’t…
If anything had changed Skull from the scream-fest with Casey the day before; it was the look on his ex’ face when Bella kissed him. Had Skull not read Casey’s letter…the pain on the other man’s face would not have been so difficult to take. Guilty for even allowing Bella to hold him when Casey brought him back to the brunette, Skull had followed Billy on autopilot. A drone seemed to have taken Harold’s place, and as he lay in the bed recollecting about the events that followed; the image of Bella’s relief upon entering their hotel room stuck in his memory. Closing his eyes to the flashback as his thumb brushed over the velvet ring box, Skull took in a cold breath and waited for the numb feeling to overtake every other sensation that coursed through his body.
xxx“ God; its cold outside…”, Bella had said the second that Skull closed the hotel room door behind them.
“ Skully; where‘s the thermostat?”, Drowned beneath the weight of his morbid emotions, the knowledge that Bella would find the switch within five minutes made him numb to the common courtesy that beckoned him to respond to her. Stoic in all his mannerisms, the statue known as Skull just watched Bella as she fluttered around in kind ignorance of his out-of-place mood. Watching Bella’s chocolate eyes as she glanced towards his face, it didn’t take a sound mind to see the pain and worry that still glistened in the gloss of her eyes. Obviously there was something on her mind, and to be perfectly frank, Skull thought it likely that she wanted to talk about Casey…and outside of his usual characteristics, the man felt so numb from being screamed at that he just wanted her to get it over with. ‘ I have no idea why you‘re with me Bella…you should be with Casey…’ and even with being too stoic to be surprised by anything and feel the sting of it; Skull realized that a part of him didn’t want Casey to lose…The part that still loved him.
Watching Bella as she fluttered around the room like a happy home-maker, Skull just lingered by the doorway and let his eyes follow her around the room like he was some lifeless creature. The brunette was trying so hard to hide the worry in her eyes that it only made the feature painfully obvious to him. Fake smiles being shoved his way in-between bits and pieces of genuine joy overshadowing her misery was enough to make Skull regret his conduct in the hotel lobby. You should have smiled more. You should smile more now, lest she think you aren’t happy to see her. Bella didn’t seem to be convinced by the twinge of a smile that flashed on Skull’s mouth as she turned up the thermostat to warm up the hotel room. In the back of Harold’s mind, he vaguely remembered Bella rambling on and on about tedious topics like the weather to try and run from whatever subject that Bella really wanted to talk about; but, his mind blocked them out and fast forwarded to the point where Bella nibbled on her lip like a hamster and gazed at him with pain tainting her face.
“ Skully…w-where were you?..”, Skull was too ashamed to say, so he didn’t. “ I was worried like crazy…”, Skull could only stand there as the brunette walked towards him and slid her warm arms around him in a ginger embrace that tightened into a clamp as the seconds ticked. After a little while, it felt like she was shaking in his arms, and Skull tightened his arms around her when he thought he heard her sniffle against his chest.
“ Sk-…skully why won‘t you talk to me?”, Because if I start to speak I’ll end things…and I can’t bear to hurt you right now. Unwilling to speak from the despondency burning like dry ice in his heart; Skull watched his fingers caress the sleeve of her upper arm as if he was watching someone else touch her. Pained at the wavering tone in Bella’s voice, the man couldn’t find the willpower to speak and soothe a woman he was trying to find the courage…to let go. When he didn’t answer right away, Billy started to speak again.
“ I-I know you have every right to be upset at me…but please…say something to me.”, Skull wet his mouth with his tongue to speak; but…“ I missed you so much…I-I was scared you were lost out there…freezing to death.”, it being absolutely necessary to stop Billy now, Skull raised his right hand to caress her cheek and raise her chin up so that he could look in her watery eyes.
“ Billy…how do I have a right to be upset at you?”, asking the question with such a serene texture to his stoic tone, Skull doubted that it was even himself that spoke for a moment. Watching a splash of confusion wash over her face, Bella bit down on her lip as if she was the one surprised in this moment before her arms squeezed around his waist to press her abdomen against his own. For the longest time, even with gentle pats against her back to try and encourage her to reply, Bella didn’t speak. Finally she nuzzled her cheek against his chest, and a sudden dampness made the man wonder if she was trying to hide a tear in the material of his shirt.
“ I…behaved badly yesterday…”, Skull raised an eyebrow at hearing a verbal confession of apology from Bella’s lips. “ No matter if you meant it or tried tell me that to justify what you did…I shouldn‘t have shoved it back in your face like that.”, the words ‘tried to tell me that to justify what you did’ in his mind spoiling the apology as tainted, an arrow slammed into Skull’s heart at remembering her words being ‘shoved’ in his face. My god! I choose you and you act like that doesn’t mean anything to me! If you care about me now that’s great, its wonderful, but don’t try and feed me anything to forgive or justify what you did to me.
Skull had tried to tell her…that the night he pretended to be Casey was because he loved her and couldn’t bear to see her with his ex boyfriend. With the crime he committed; Skull didn’t expect to be forgiven or believed…but it had been so hard for this woman-hating ‘gay’ man to admit to passionately loving a woman and tell her that his heart was smashed when she accused him of just feeding her crap. Skull had managed to say ‘I’m sorry’ just because he was too hurt to say anything else after that. ‘ Why would she want to be with a Liar…’
Which was still one reason that Skull opened and closed the velvet ring box in gentle snaps and creaks. How could he ask Bella to marry him now? When Casey desperately loved her just as much as he did. Remembering more of the events of the previous day, Skull closed his eyes once more as images of Bella’s arms enfolding his body flooded back into his mind.
“ I‘m sorry…I had…no idea…how me asking you to fetch Casey would look to you.”, The tears threatening to fall wavered in Bella’s brown eyes as she craned her neck to look onto his face. You have...no idea...Desperation seeped from all of her features, and Skull couldn’t help but clutch her back with his hands to try and keep the trembling woman from feeling so fragile in his arms.
“ I-…”, Skull had meant to say: It doesn’t matter; but, Billy-bee spoke and the vulnerability in her voice stole away his speech.
“ Please…let me explain Skully…”, the muscles in Harold’s shoulders relaxed against his will in the effort to comply so that his Bella wouldn’t weep and break his heart more than he could bear with his countenance.
“ When you told me you loved me in the bathroom at that party…and we…”, Bits and pieces of their bodies intertwined flashed through Harold’s brain; but, the remembrance that they stopped before making love caused a fresh pain to stab his loins and his heart at the same moment. Listening to Bella bring up that night hurt more than the man could have contemplated; but, the deepest part of his soul yearned for her to keep speaking…in the hopes of hearing her repeat the confession of her love to him into his ears one last time.
“ …We were going to…”, It couldn’t have been less obvious that she was talking about their physical interlude if he was dimwitted. However, just when his heart began to flutter in the hope of hearing something positive, his brunette looked down towards the ground to try and hide the onset of more fluid drowning her eyes.
“…I know now that you probably think I couldn‘t make love to you because I love Casey…and I can‘t pretend that isn‘t true.”, The pain of Bella’s admission stung like a war-wound, and Harold had to look away to hide the pain that smacked against his face from her view.
“ But that’s not why I couldn‘t make love to you…”, confused as to why Bella was bringing up that night now when it had nothing to do with their argument the previous evening, Skull bit down on his tongue to keep from begging Bella to stop talking before she finished what she had to say.
“ Skull…I meant it when I said I loved you…love…you…but it didn‘t feel right to start something when I wasn‘t sure of my own feelings. If I hurt you the way you hurt me, I don‘t think I‘d be able to cope with that…”, Bella looked down at the ground as she nibbled on her bottom lip like a hamster again, and it felt like someone was rubbing ice cubes over his skin. Chilled to the bone with no ability to leave the room without feeling like a failure, the man froze in one place as his eyes desperately searched Bella’s face for any evidence of mercy. ‘ I don‘t need to know this…please…just stop.’ At war with the desire to punish himself or speak, Skull just stood there and let the words flow from Bella’s mouth.
“ I‘m always going to love Casey…I-I can‘t change that no matter how hard I try; but…when I‘m with Casey…its like I‘m overwhelmed…I can‘t breathe, I can‘t think…its like being in a storm. I feel alive and invigorated; but…I…don‘t feel safe...”, Watching that woman swallow the fluid in her mouth was almost as uncomfortable for him as it was for him to wet his dry mouth at hearing her words. Confused on several levels; the man felt too numb to do anything but mildly blink his confusion until Bella began to speak again.
“ I know in my heart that there is no logical reason for me to feel any kind of love for you after what you did to me…but while Casey was waiting until last minute…as he always does…you came to me and told me everything you lied about, how you lied to Casey…and wasted the time to try and beg for my forgiveness…”, Skull heard a deep breath escape her lips, and it attracted his dark eyes to her face in avid fervor. At least we agree that you shouldn’t feel this way about me.
“ I feel safe when I‘m with you Harold. Dumb as that may be.”, Ashamed of hearing such words flow from her mouth when he felt guilty enough to end their relationship simply to try and do what was best for her and Casey, Skull turned his head away from her face. Knowing without looking at her that there was pain in her heart at his response, Skull felt her fingers pleadingly scratch at the fabric on his chest and tried to ignore her cat-like kneading. Bella had been trying to make a point in bringing up the events in the bathroom; and for the longest time the once-painted fellow was oblivious to her intended subject.
“ When we argued last night, my actions were rash because I was hurt.”, Skull didn’t need her to tell him that obvious detail. “ I‘ve been trying to be intimate with you since we got here; and I can‘t help but feel like you regret being with me.”, Skull looked at Bella in shock, but she continued as if oblivious to his almost angered expression.
“ That’s why I asked you…if you would rather be w-with Casey…I-I‘ve been trying so hard to be what you want me to be that--”, Skull was in such a state of shock at the words he was hearing that the voice of his heart writhing in agony overpowered his self-control. Watching tears threaten to fall as water gagged her vocals was simply too much for him to handle without inwardly screaming at the top of his lungs. ‘ What the HELL is wrong with you!? How do you not want to be with Casey!? YOU‘VE BEEN PINING FOR HIM SINCE YOU CAME BACK HERE!’ Almost unable to believe what he was hearing, Skull’s face tightened in broken-hearted anger and it took his eyes welling up in disdain to keep from trying to shake some sense into the woman! ‘ You‘re not supposed to end up with me! You‘re confused! You‘re just so hurt by Casey that you think you want me. ’ skull wanted to open the window and jump just as much as he wanted to snatch Bella’s face in his hands and ravage her mouth with his tongue for even insinuating that she wasn’t what he wanted. You want Casey to win. You don’t deserve her and you know it.
“ ******** Bella; Be quiet!”, Skull’s strong hands gripped Bella’s shoulders and such an angered vehemence that he saw her body tremble from his own hands shaking. “ You think I‘ve been acting odd because I don‘t want you?”, The way Bella’s face paled as a droplet of water streaked down her face was answer enough for him to feel ashamed to have ever given the woman such a harebrained idea. Suddenly feeling a bucket of ice water splash down his chest in the realization that he started speaking his heart and would now have to confess his dirty secret; Skull forgot how to breathe long enough for his face to redden from lack of air.
“ Bill…”, Skull’s voice considerably more compassionate than his previous outburst that left Bella gasping in mild fear; the man released his tight grip to caress his hand underneath Bella’s face in an apologetic display of affection. “ When we got back from the hospital…I saw a piece of paper sticking out of your pocket and I didn‘t think before tugging it out and reading it.”, If it were possible to describe the heartbreak that shattered the hope in her eyes, the sword that pierced through his heart at seeing it could explain her reaction better than words would allow. Why she was so brokenhearted subconsciously remained a mystery; but, on every inward level Skull assumed she was hurt by the invasion of her privacy.
Judging by the swell in Billy’s breasts as she backed away to try and withstand an asthmatic reaction to this great of a transgression, Skull suddenly felt flashbacks of his conversation with Casey by the lakeside and the tip of the sword twisted back and forth in his chest to cause more damage. And for your info I was TRYING to set that right, but you handily parked yourself between us and prevented me from doing so then…and his subconscious added to Casey’s comment with such a likeness to Bella’s voice that he was tricked into believing it wasn’t his own mind set to punish him.How could you come between us AGAIN?! Are you that selfish?! Do you care so little about what I want?! and unable to bear Bella thinking such a horrible lie, Skull walked towards her and bent his head as pain forced the water in his eyes to waver and threaten to break his masculinity.
“ I didn‘t go to him or try and tell him you didn‘t care Bill; but honestly…”, already defeated by Casey it seemed; Skull shook his head two and fro as blood pumped from the bleeding crevice left spitting where his heart used to be.
“ I can‘t…compete with him. I see the way you look at him and I can‘t do anything that could make you want me more…”, Skull only paused long enough to narrow his eyes in the hope that tightened eyelids would keep the fluid from streaking down his face.
“ But you expect me to act normal and let myself make love to you when its only a matter of time until you leave? Contrary to how I hurt you; I‘m not a soulless monster. I love you more than any other person I‘ve ever known and it killed me when you asked me to go fetch Casey when I knew what you were going to talk to him about…”, Somewhere in his outburst Skull’s voice quieted down to a watery texture. Whether the change was due to heartbreak, exhaustion, or a combination of both; Skull had to look away to hide the pain on his face from his lungs being constricted in his chest from his own toxic emotions. Expecting Bella to weep, yell, or just shove away from him; Skull wasn’t prepared when her fingers snatched at the fabric of his shirt to use as leverage to balance her weight and slam her mouth over his own. The torn, bleeding, hole in his chest making him vulnerable to such a moment of weakness; Skull didn’t fight back when her tongue broke through his lips to tug his own…
The pleading moan that gasped from her panting lungs was overkill…Lost in the heat of her breath and texture of Bella’s tongue brushing against his own for an immeasurable moment, Skull had begun to lower his hands from cupping her sweet face to caress elsewhere when the remnant of his willpower struggled to gain control. ‘ Bella…if we stay together you‘ll lose your best friend…’ and though it broke his heart, Skull tried to tear himself away from the most attractive woman ever to kiss him in ravenous hunger. The kiss ending with a gentle smack-like sound, Skull would have pressed his palms to her shoulders to push her away as lovingly as possible if not for seeing the devastation in Bella’s brown eyes when he tried to move away. What the hell are you doing?! She loves you, she wants you, stop fighting her! But the reason in his mind tried to fight through his desire. ‘ I can‘t ruin her and Casey again! When she realizes how silly it is to run from him she‘ll regret everything she did with me.’ that thought being too hard to bear, Skull managed to break away only long enough for Bella to squeeze his shirt fabric and move her face in front of her own.
“ Please Skully…”, and swallowing the overwhelming guilt that began to well up in his bleeding chest; Skull couldn’t bear to leave Bella standing there with that look on her face; like her entire world was tumbling down. Go ahead Harold. Run. Let her think you don’t love her at all. Frozen at the arrow of a thought that had pierced his vulnerable spot; Bella took advantage of his stillness and rushed to kiss him again. Her delicate fingers clutching under his jaw and his senses being overwhelmed by the fruity taste of her mouth; Skull would have kept fighting if not for seeing her heartbreak spilled across her desperate face as she whispered please against his skin in quiet gasps of breath. For whatever reason Bella is your girlfriend Skull, where is the logic in resisting your own girlfriend? Plenty of reasons…but none could compete with the need to comfort Billy’s heart.
“ I love you Skully…”, Bella whispered against Skull’s lips as she caressed her nose against the crook in his own and leaned in closer to gently bite his lip. Assuming that Casey hadn’t needed any more encouragement when he knocked Bella up in the first place, Skull moved his strong arms under the brunette’s knees to lift her up and carry her towards the nearest bed…Within an hour their bodies were intertwined like two spiders stuck in the same web, and while Bella fell asleep with her head on Harold’s chest; pressing little kisses and mumbling things against his skin, Skull lay awake for hours just to make sure Bella was asleep when he climbed out of bed.
~
Unsure where Bella was when the man returned to the place he left her to rest; Skull stood in the doorway of their hotel room with an unreadable expression overshadowing his face. Contrary to what might have been presumed, Skull had climbed out of bed to have a long talk with the man he yelled at by the ice lake before second thoughts flooded into his mind. ‘ If he really wants her, he‘ll do anything to be with her.’, and unwilling to give Bella up to someone who couldn’t even do that, Skull walked up to his brother’s room and had a long talk with a man he loathed almost worse than his sister. Why would I want to talk to your ex for you? You a coward now? Skull thought it more likely that the other man was too afraid to willingly talk to him, and so Skull spent the rest of the night on the couch after coming up with a reasonable explanation for his younger brother to ‘let slip’ to Casey Johnson.
All the while knowing that Bella would wake up, find him gone, and never forgive him.
xxx “ Bill already lost his father, I can‘t deprive her of Casey too.”, and laying in the bed feeling horribly guilty for the events of the previous evening, Skull stood up after snapping the ring box shut one last time. ‘ ******** what I want. Bella needs him…’, if they were never going to get along…then it was better if he left. Or overdosed on something.
Hours of trying to breathe in Bella’s scent from the Egyptian cotton, Skull stopped nuzzling his cheek against her pillow when he felt a twinge in his stomach telling him that he didn’t have long before Casey showed up. Standing up to walk into the pitch black bathroom and linger like the monster Casey no doubt thought him to be, (even with the lack of conflicting meds) the man washed his face to be presentable and focused on quieting his breathing until he heard a noise at the door like a three year old trying to open the door. Shortly to follow came the quiet sound of drawers being pulled open, and the zipper of a suitcase being slowly rolled open. Knowing for certain that Bella wouldn’t waste the time to be so quiet if it was her searching through their bags, and so the man soundlessly stepped forward before gingerly tossing the ring box against the poorly made bed.
The ring seemed to scorn being mistreated in its vanity as it’s house was bounced like a rock skipped on a pond; but, its imaginary aura settled down when eyes other than Skull’s settled on it’s velvet case. Thinking that the ring was what Casey had come in the room to snoop for; Skull leaned his body against the doorframe of the bathroom and pinned his eyes on the man who couldn’t care less for him.
“ I take it that‘s what you‘re looking for…”, and waiting for Casey to notice him, Harold just set his hands on his hips to not seem intimidating; but, left his shirt unbuttoned to try and convey that he was in comfort clothes; and thus unwilling to fight this morning.
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2014 12:39 am
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