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 Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 8:26 pm
 "I'd like to welcome a pro and a rookie to the first promo battle of FWD Season 2! The pro being Jessie Lee and the rookie being Major Devastation.
You guys will promo about topics I give you. If either of you attack each other, you'll be disqualified.
Introducing first..."
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Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 9:12 pm
"Terror Train" by Demons & Wizards hit the PA system as Major Devastation emerged from behind the curtain to his pro's entrance theme. He came to a stop in the center of the stage, and saluted the crowd before marching down the ramp.
"Now making his way to the ring, from San Antonio, Texas...Major Devastation!"
Devastation would perform a standing leap onto the apron before stepping between the top two ropes to enter the ring itself. The Marine would then climb the turnbuckles and play to the crowd while he waited for the pro he would be competing against to make her entrance.
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Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 9:18 pm
It's not like I'm walking alone into the valley of the shadow of death
Stand beside one another, 'cause it ain't over yet
I'd be willing to bet that if we don't back down
You and I will be the ones that are holding the Crown in the end
When it's over, we can say, "Well done"
But not yet, 'cause it's only begun
So, pick up, and follow me, we're the only ones
To fight this thing, until we've won
We drive on and don't look back
It doesn't mean we can't learn from our past
All the things that we mighta done wrong
We could've been doing this all along
Everybody, with your fists raised high
Let me hear your battle cry tonight
Stand beside, or step aside
We're on the frontline
Frontline by Pillar began to play throughout the arena, and the fans didn't know how to react! I mean, the person hasn't been booked for a about a month now. The only time anyone heard from her during that time, was an alleged confrontation with Commissioner Furry. However, those were just rumors floating about backstage and on the Internet. Nobody really buys into those do they?
Anyway, Jessie Lee came jogging out from backstage and down the ramp. She didn't anything fancy or flashy, the look in her eyes and on her face told everyone that she was deadly serious about the upcoming match! This was her chane to prove something, but what was that something I wonder? Well, she dove into the ring underneath the bottom rope and pushed herself up to her feet. She sprinted across the ring and leap onto the second turnbuckle. Where she then raised both arms above her head and shouted something at the crowd. Which the crowd responded with a decent pop, which in turn was a surprise in itself!
"From St. Paul Minnesota, she is Jesse LEE!"
Jessie had hopped down from the turnbuckle and was pacing inside the ring. She kept muttering to herself as she tugged on her black, fingerless, battle gloves.
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Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 9:59 pm
"I'm glad both of you could make it. Now, I'll give you both a topic to promo about. One person will get to promo about a wrestler, to which they can choose to hate on or praise the person. The other person will promo about something random I come up with.
Major, you can go first and promo about the army. Jessie, after he is done, go ahead and promo about the wrestler known as Snypa.
Begin."
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 6:32 pm
"Heh, the Army," Major Devastation began with a bit of a smirk. "A subject that I can't really say I know a whole lot about, being a leatherneck, and all. Of course, there are a few things I can tell you about it.
For one thing, like my beloved Marine Corps, the United States Army is one of the U.S Uniformed Services which falls under the Department of Defense. And, like the Corps, it traces its origins to the American Revolution and actually predate the birth of the nation itself.
Over its long history, the soldiers of the U.S. Army have fought in numerous conflicts, both at home and abroad. Likewise, the Marines have seen action in nearly every conflict in U.S. history...but that's pretty much where the similarities end. You see, while the Army and the USMC fulfill similar roles, they go about it in different ways.
Obviously, the Army is a standing army, while the Marines began as naval infantry and evolved into more of an expeditionary force that relies on strategic stationing of its forces and Navy sealifts for its rapid deployment capabilities, allowing my beloved Corps to act as first responders to international incidents...be it for humanitarian or combative purposes."
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 7:32 pm
  Nuke: "Wait, the army?"
Arc: "What's wrong with the army?"
Nuke: "Well it's not exactly compelling television now, is it? Seems to me like they're just trying to make it hard here in this competition, but .. Too hard. Even I wouldn't bother talking about the army, unless I was stating a point about all of the death that it's caused in the Middle East."
Arc: "Controversial there, Nuke."
Nuke: "Hey, I didn't say people agree with my views. An odd match up of promos, especially now as Snypa has become the choice of subject, thanks to my former rookie."
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 8:24 pm
 Jessie Lee"Are you done?" Jessie said as soon as Major finished speaking. "Beloved Corps? What the hell are you? A ********' schoolgirl on a major 'roid trip? Jesus ******** Christ!" she said as she placed her free hand on her forehead and shook her head. That had to have been one of the most boring things she had ever heard! Did he take all that from an encyclopedia he shoved up his a**? GOOD GOD! "Now it's my turn to spit some s**t about Snypa.........who the ******** Snypa? No really! WHO THE ******** IS HE?" she said pretty loudly to get the point across to the crowd that she really didn't know who the ******** that guy was. "You," she said pointing at the timekeeper "bring me some info on this son of the Unholy Dragon's a*****e!" The time keeper sat in his chair in confusion for several moments. Until Jessie slid out of the ring, grabbed him by his collar, and drove her forehead into his nose. Breaking it. "NOW YOU DUMB ********> she shouted at him as she took half a step back, back handing him in the process. The poor time keeper didn't know what else to do after being abused so. In order to prevent from being hit once again, the time keeper stumbled out of his chair and ran around the ring and u the ramp to get what Jessie Lee wanted. Information on Snypa.
"Now," she began as she turned back to the ring "while we wait for bloody tubby there to get my ********' info, let's talk about you Major Dickweed." She then walked up the stairs and entered the ring. She licked her lips a bit and pushed her sunglasses back up to the bridge of her nose as she paced the length of the side of the ring she was at, all the while looking at Major. "Just who the ******** do you think you are? I saw your "Meet the rooks" thing and god damn it ********' annoyed the s**t outta me. HELL! Just standing here in the ring staring at you ********' face is startin' to make me sick to my stomach! In all honesty I hope that bloody, tubby time keeper gets his fat a** out here before I ********' throw up all over the place." she said before stopping and looking up at the stage. Which, just as it so happened, had the poor time keeper staggering out and into Lee's view. "About God Damn Time! Now get your ********' lard a** into the ********' ring!" she shouted at the poor man and he half ran, half stumbled down the ramp before climbing the stairs and into the ring. Before he could even offer what he managed to get, Jessie ripped the sheet of paper out of his hands and began inspecting it, pacing about the ring as she did so. However, it wasn't long till she stopped and seemed to glare a hole through the poor time keeper. Through her sunglasses! "What.....the ******** THIS BULLSHIT?!" she shouted at him as she walked on over and shoved the piece of paper into the time keeper's stuttering mouth. "GET OUTTA MY SIGHT! YOU LOUSY ********" SHITHEAD! GET! GET!" she shouted at the time keep, shoving him to the ropes. The man stepped in between the top rope and the second rope, and Jessie stepped forward and drove the sole of her boot into the side of the time keeper's head. Thus big booting him out to the floor. Completely ignoring the fact that she had literally just gave the boot to time, Jessie turned back to Justin and Major Devastation to officially begin her promo on some guy named Snypa.
"Alright what do I have to say about Snypa? Based on that bullshit piece of paper that that fat ******** got me, not a whole ******** lot I would have to say. He's black, yipity ********' do-da for his dumb a**. He loves Jarel Damone, again yipity do-da for his dumb a**." she said before lowering the mic and stopping herself. She sighed and licked her lips once more. "Alright I can't keep doing that s**t, I'm just going to level with you all and say WHAT KIND OF NAME IS SNYPA?!" she said as she began pacing once again. "If you ask me he sounds like a ********' mix of a drunk a** Canadian and a retarded Major Dickweed! He likes fire! You know hwat, so do I! As a matter of fact it keeps people ********' nice and warm back home! I don't understand how some drunk a** Major Dickweed could get his ********' granny panties all in a bunch about it! I mean........it's just......for the love of.....what the ******** is his problem?" she ranted on as she paced and paced and paced. Finally she stopped pacing and looked at Justin and Major. She was about to speak once more when the crowd overtook the arena with chants of her name, JESSIE! JESSIE! JESSIE! She took her sunglasses off and looked around at the crowd. This kind of reaction was definitely a first for her. Hell! Most of the time she barely got any crowd reaction! After a few moments of reveling in the crowd's reaction, Jessie put her sunglasses back on and licked her lips. Time to finish this thing. "That's it I'm done. Nothing more to say, but Major Dickweed," she said looking first at Major Devastation and then to Justin Amaze Cumhead if you have a problem for that I have one thing to say to you." She then paused to clear her throat and the held up her index finger. "One," she then paused to lift up her middle finger "two," she then jerked her head up
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2011 8:52 pm
Nuke: neutral
Arc: "Nuke, are you okay?"
Nuke: eek
Arc: "Speak man, speak!"
Nuke: "Woah, woah, woah. I thought we were tuned in to FWD, not one of Foamy's rants."
Arc: "Okay, you may have a valid point there; she did sound like a squirrel on ecstasy, at times."
Nuke: "I'd love to see her rant about me, Arc. I bet she wouldn't have the guts to say anything like that to me."
Arc: "Okay, this may not be the Foamy show, but it's also not the Nuke Fusion show. Now, don't tell me you're attracted to this Diva as well?"
Nuke: "Well, there is something stirring in my trousers, and it's not that escaped anaconda from the local zoo."
Arc: "Let me guess; it's bigger than the anaconda as well, right?"
Nuke: "Nope, about as big. But yeah, I'd take the future crazy cat lady for a ride .. Before she becomes crazy."
Arc: "You scare me sometimes Nuke, you really do."
Nuke: "That is my intention, Celestial."
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Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 8:03 pm
"Major Dickweed...cute," the Marine said as soon as Jessie quit running her trap. "Do you speak to your mother with that mouth? Twenty-one F-bombs inside of five minutes...you could put a ship full of sailors on furlough to shame with that kind of language."
For those who had seen Major Devastation in action, it was no secret that the big man had a temper...but if his fuse was lit, he wasn't showing it. He just smirked and continued with his own little tirade.
"You should really do something about that sewage that keeps spewing out of that putrid stinkhole of yours. Seriously, I've got two words for you dear...BREATH MINTS!!! Now then, one thing that you apparently fail to realize is that some people actually choose to serve their country, and are quite proud to do so! I've fought for my country. I've bled for my country over in Iraq, which is about as close to Hell on Earth as you're likely to get, and the main reason why I'm not still serving in the United States Marine Corps is because I got sick of seeing too many good Marines losing their lives in a conflict that we honestly have no business being in...and if you have a problem with that, I've got just one thing to say about that. OORAH!"
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Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 11:39 pm
Justin looked at Major, then to Jessie, then back to Major before finally stepping FWD... get it?
"Alright, that was good for the first round. Oh, did you think it was over? No, come on people, this is FWD!"
The crowd cheered!
"Round 2, Jessie, you will begin this time. I want to say, have fun promoing about Star Wars.
Major, after she's done, good luck promoing about Cereal."
Justin stepped back.
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Posted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 7:02 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 3:43 pm
"OORAH?" Jessie responded after several moments. "That the best you can ********' think of? This isn't some recruitment spot Major Shitferbrains!" she continued on insulting Major Devastation. Before she went on she paused for a moment and looked at the man, her head tilted to the side just a little bit. "Hold on a sec, what was with the s**t about you going to defend s**t and bein' proud about it? I didn't say anything insultin' about the damn military. Just you, you stupid ******** dip s**t." she said as she once again began pacing within the confines of the ring. She had won this whole promo battle thing, everyone knew it. This thing with a second round was pretty much just kept on adding to the fact that she had just out did the Major to nearly no limit. Then it hit her! It hit her like a brick hitting a pane of glass. "I know what's goin' on here. Jizzhead here thinks you can possibly redeem yourself from the boring a** piece of s**t you called a ********' promo." she said still pacing, her gaze never leaving his. "That piece of s**t was so boring I wouldn't even let a ********' deaf kid hear, a blind kid see it, or a ******** mute kid repeat it! I mean for ******** sake do you realize how ******** boring you are with the whole "metal-spike-up-your-a**" marine thing? ********! I think I'm just goin' to start my s**t about ********' Star Wars before I fall asleep because your so ******** boring. Miserable shithead. ********> She concluded as she was clearly out insulting Major Devastation now. Guy just couldn't win now could he? Anyway it was time for her to promo on Star Wars! Oh boy!
"Stars Wars is a lot like many things in life. Either you like or you don't. Take j**z-for-brains here." Jessie said as she finally stopped pacing and and pointed at Justin. "Word backstage is that the ******** said he didn't like it and ********' started talkin' s**t about it. Which is alright by me," she said as she began pacing once again "it's not my face people will wanna bust in when they find out. But hey, that's not my problem!" She then stopped pacing and looked at the camera through her sunglasses. "What I'm tryin' to say is pretty simple, and I don't really feel the need to say this. If you like Star Wars, like I did grownin' up, that's fine an dandy. But," she said before pausing once again "if you rag on the epic series you can be just like major Dickweed and go ******** yourself!"
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 4:11 pm
Major Devastation rolled his eyes before he entered his sarcasm-filled rebuttal. "Oh, I am just so sorry that you don't find me entertaining...but then again, considering the topics I have to work with, I can't really blame you. Yeah...talking about cereal is really going to put some asses in seats. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I ended up putting myself to sleep with that one, but I'll see what I can do with that little gem."
The Marine took a deep breath and sighed before once again raising the mic. "Alright, here goes nothing...cereal basically comes in two types: hot and cold. With the cold cereals, you've got the choices of sugar loaded kiddified cereals, which aren't half bad when you've got a case of the munchies, and health-nut crap, which is like trying to eat cardboard." Major paused for a moment and shuddered, before continuing, "Actually, I think cardboard might just be a better alternative to that garbage. And then there's oatmeal, which is about as tasteless and utterly unappealing as Jessie, here."
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Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:32 pm
((Jessie Lee wins. Major, you did good, but a little work on your promos could help. If you want advice, don't be afraid to PM any of the promos asking for so. We're here to help you guys, not push you away.))
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