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 Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 5:18 pm
After a while or sorting over a mess of problems, Ladon was ready. He had managed by miracle, luck, and plenty of forgiveness on Paris' half to get his friends back and speaking with him again. Now it was time to fix the other side of the equation. Ever since the mishap of the ruined third date, Ladon waited for Billy's phone call. They left on decent enough terms, but Ladon had been wondering more and more about Billy and his past relationships, his intentions, and his feelings. While he wanted to be optimistic, he had gotten a reality check from his best friend to refrain from being too needy for this relationship with Billy to work and take things slowly. It was good advice, and surprising from a boy who had only gone fast with all his boyfriends. What really put the brakes down was a lot of held information, past relationships, sudden surprises, and strange feelings that he couldn't let go.
It had twisted his gut and continued to for a while. The problem was he couldn't just call Billy up to talk as easily as he had Paris. Due to finace troubles, Billy didn’t have a phone, and Ladon started to wonder if the artist was refraining to call after the explosion that happened on their sorta-not date. Then he worried that he would never call and find that this was all too much work and effort.
At long last, Billy called him, and he stepping into his room to talk. He kept his voice soft, but serious, but couldn't help smiling. To make things clear, he said he wanted to talk about what happened, and agreeing to it, he hanged up and went downstairs to get his coat.
"Where are you off to?" his mother asked, for once home on the weekend, sitting at her kitchen tables and looking over some paperwork.
"Out. A friend of mine wants to go and eat somewhere." He said, casually slipping on his coat.
"And who, pray tell, is this friend of yours?" She asked, watching her son stomp his shoes on.
"Billy. He doesn't have a cell phone, but you can call me if you want to check up." Of course she did, and he noticed her suspicion in not having a phone. "His parents don't believe teenagers should have cellphones. His mom thinks it's distracting." He lied, and finding that a rather nice thought, she nodded. Anyone with parents as concerned as Billy's must have raised a good, wholesome boy.
"I might go out and drop some paperwork off. Don't be out late." She said, but Ladon was pretty sure he could stay out as long as he wanted and she wouldn't have noticed if she left. She would. He knew it. Still, he gave off a merry, "Okay" and left, taking his keys to the house with him.
Since Billy had mentioned he liked fast food, he decided to meet him at McDonalds. Not only could he treat Billy out, but it would give them a place where they could talk with relative privacy. Those places pretty much allowed you to sit in a booth and talk and not be disturbed or looked at. Standing outside, he waited for the gray hair and pink eyes of his boyfriend.
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 8:25 pm
Billy walked down the street, head high, gait languid, and face bearing that generally bored expression. He'd spent plenty of time for his own thoughts, and then more time for, he figured, Ladon to, oh, he wasn't sure exactly. Maybe his thoughts as well? Either way, he called when he had deemed the time appropriate. And now he was on his way to meet Ladon.
Turning the corner he spotted said boy, "Hey there." Billy was dressed in his usual clothes, jacket included, and hands jammed in said pockets. One had to wonder if he even owned many clothes. Truth be told he didn't, but he doubted he would buy anything much different anyway. Style now a days was so lacking.
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 9:03 pm
Ladon could have had all the time in the world, but he still felt unprepared. As he waited outside, he thought about what needed to be asked and said. This was his first time with this sort of romantic confrontation, and while it needed to be done, he was afraid he would be the cause of being single again. That whatever demands or tone he used would be the final straw and send Billy away. As he told himself that anyone who did that wasn't patient or deserving enough to be with, he secretly wanted to do whatever it took to make it work.
While his desperation fought with his standards and morales, he took a deep breath in time for Billy to show up. He waved and smiled, happy to see him. The memory of their third date, while quickly interrupted, was still fresh in his mind. He actually was daring enough to hold Billy and the other boy had tried to defend him. Then again, this same person slept with his best friend. It was like someone stabbing his stomach each time when he remembered that and all that that entailed.
"Hey." He said, and waited for him to catch up. As always, Billy was modestly and nicely dressed, which Ladon always appreciated. He never looked as if he rolled out of bed and didn't take seeing him seriously. He had standards.
"I treating you." He said first and foremost, and then opened the door for Billy. Yup. He was going to try being the one to be chivalrous in return for once. "I thought we could find a booth in the back. I really wanted to talk to you since that night." He needed a lot cleared up.
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 12:31 am
Billy shrugged, but made no move to oppose Ladon's statement. It just meant more money in his pocket, after all. "I tell you whatever you wanna know." Billy really didn't have many secrets. At least, not ones that wouldn't totally bite and tear down his self-built pedestal. He supposed, though, since he was going to try this..thing, with Ladon, he might as well be more open.
All in all though, Billy's approach this time seemed more hands off and vaguely aloof. He simply wasn't trying to lure in or enchant the boy any more. He had already done that. It was Ladon's turn.
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 8:36 am
Billy didn't seem all that concerned, and Ladon worried that he just didn't care anymore. Of course, any little thing worried Ladon that their relationship might end suddenly, and he wondered if now was the best time to bring up this type of drama. Was he even in a position to make such demands of Billy's history? No. He – He had to get things cleared up. They weren't going to get anywhere if he just kept being hit by new information and had to swallow down past concerns. They didn't want to experience another 3rd Date situation again if they could avoid it.
After they ordered their food, they found a booth in the back, somewhat hidden by a fake flowers that were part of a divider to the other booth beside them, and sat down. He wasn't particularly fond of fast food but only because he rarely ate at any places. Still, he bought some chicken strips and tea and hoped his life wasn't shortened because of it. It wasn't like he'd be eating right away, anyways.
Thinking, he tried to figure out what way he should start off this heavy conversation, but tried his best. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Paris. At the time, I didn't think it was that important. I never thought you had already – I mean that you would know him." There had been an unintended emphasis on 'know' that he wished he could take back. "He was just upset, and I think you two should talk it out, but …he seemed a little hurt. It's not that he cares about being with you now, but I .." What was he trying to say? "..he's worried that you don't care about me as you did him? I'm not sure. I guess he never got the best impression of you." Though he had been speaking on Paris' behalf, not that Paris needed anyone speaking for him and would probably hit Ladon to know that he did, Ladon was also speaking for himself. He was a little worried too.
"Billy, I know you stuck by my side when Paris came and I know that really bothered you, I don't want to offend you by saying this, but you're not with me for just one thing, are you? Because, I'm sorry, I'm not that type of person. I'm not like Paris." He wasn't here for just that one physical goal. If Billy had that assumption that they were just slowly working for just that, then they needed to stop the train here.
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 9:02 am
Billy gave another shrug at the mention of Paris. "It wouldn't be right of me to dictate who you can and cannot be friends with. Especially prior to me stepping into your life. It's no requirement that you disclose all your friendships with me. I suppose it would be right to assume the two of you have talked after the last incident and made up?" He then took a sip of his drink and Ladon went on about stuff.
Billy sat back, one arm propped back of the top of the booth seat he sat in. Ah, it was time to start talking more strategically. Covering up his past intentions.
"If I wanted someone just for that one thing, I would have chosen easy prey. Paris, for instance. It would have been a good arrangement, seeing as we both attend the same school, have the same gym class~" He took another sip of his drink.
"Instead, I chose to love and be loved, which I admit is hard for me. From the time I was old enough to realize that my attempts at loving my own parents were futile, and not returned, I gave up on the feeling. It was my encounter that reawakened my desire not for the flesh, but for love. The love I never got." He sighed, "The love that cannot be given by any convenient whore."
All the while as he spoke he measured his gaze, marking key points with a sharpness, and others with an almost liquatious casualness, and wave of a fry.
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 9:51 am
It was a nice feeling that they were in a serious relationship, but the deliver had been all wrong. If Billy wanted to become a better person with faith in humanity, he was using all the wrong words and the wrong outlook. "Could you not call people prey? It's demeaning. You should look at everyone like people with feelings that can get hurt." Like Paris had. He wanted to help defend his friend, but he was also aware he didn't want to do so at the expense of souring his own relationship with Billy. It was a hard thing to juggle, and he wasn't well known for his ability to juggle a friendship and relationship as he never did so before. He hoped he learned fast.
"And don't call Paris a whore. He might not have given you the best impression, but he's not like that. He's just…got things to sort out first." He'd say he was a 'free spirit', but that was a lame excuse given by parents to excuse their underachieving children with loose morels. Like Billy, Paris just needed some guidance and to realize some things. They both had a terrible outlook on life and needed it to be altered just a smidge.
Settling back and barely touching his meal as it was more for show and an excuse to sit with Billy, he continued. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't like other people who just wanted to do …that and that's it. I'm really serious about when I go out with someone…" Now he sounded like he was the type to do this all the time. Hah! This was his first. "….and I didn't want you to get the wrong impression." He reached out, picking up a fry and inspecting it before taking a bite. He swallowed before he continued.
The next part would be hard.
"I know you don't get along with him, but when he's around and shows up, I hope you two can at least tolerate each other. I'm not asking for friendship. Just to not rip each others' eyes out, even if I'm not there. I know you go to school together." Something that worried him. In his mind, he had the image of a standard gym locker room and that place that the pair of them could meet and had met. The fact they could always see each other, lived near each other, and that Paris could probably talk to Billy more than he could bothered him and made him jealous.
"And yeah. Paris and I did talk and we're back to being friends. He's very forgiving, though he doesn't like lying. Neither do I, even though I slip up." He looked at Billy, trying to press the point that he liked honesty and hoped Billy would feel the same way.
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:10 am
"I wasn't talking specifically about Paris when I said whore." He pointed out after taking a bite of his own fry. "As for 'prey,'..it isn't easy to change one's life-long mindset." He casually defended himself.
"As for other matters - I am, and had always been, perfectly ready and able to be civil in Paris' presence. He insulted you though. All gloves were off then. If not for that, I doubt I would entertain the thought of wasting any hate on him. There are far worse people to hate."
"Anyway, keeping secrets is not lying, but simply an omission of information that is the fault of all parties involved. That said, for you, I shall be an open book." He grinned, "What do you want to know?"
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:20 am
The topic was staggering into darker thoughts, and Ladon placed his hands on his lap and out of sight to fiddle them and work his thoughts. There had been a few questions cycling through his head. A few he wouldn't dare as Billy and knew it was more harmful to know. Things about him and Paris, and he prevented himself from saying any of which happened on some day in gym class between them.
Instead, he circled around another question and while it probably wasn't going to make him feel any better, it was something he wanted to know. If he was getting full honesty here, and the table was already set for this conversation, it was his time to ask it. "Have you been with many other people in the past?" He asked, quietly and unsure of himself. He couldn't look at Billy when he asked it. Knowing he had been with Paris had been more than enough, but he wanted to know just how "experienced" Billy was and if he tended to use a lot of people in the past. Was there a long list of exes somewhere that he now had to compete with and would be forever compared to?
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:26 am
Billy grinned at the question, "Not sexually, no. I dated a couple of girls a while back but, well, I never really felt attracted to them physically. Wonder of all wonders, now I know why," There was a bit of a laugh there in his voice. "I dated girls merely because it was expected of me - boys with girls, y'know?"
Hopefully that wouldn't worry Ladon too much. Maybe it'd relieve him a little.
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:31 am
He was right. It didn't make him feel better, but at least he knew. The only person he had been with to go that far, and the only person he was ever with, was Paris. His friend. While it wasn't intentional, Ladon deeply wished he met Billy before Paris so that they could have shared something together, but that was behind them. Spilled milk. He couldn't do anything about it now, and it was cruel and idiotic to think he could just pack up his emotions and leave now. He was too far into this and wanted it too much to leave this relationship.
"Thanks for telling me." he said automatically, not at all feeling like laughing. Thinking about Billy's discovery of himself made him wonder how it had gone all about. "You dated girls, but ...why did you decide to go with Paris in the end? You two didn't even date? It's seemed rather....sudden." Especially since Ladon had only started thinking that he liked being with another boy in a relationship sort of way only when he gave it a chance and started dating. To just go from girls and suddenly be intimate with Paris - wasn't that really fast?!
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:46 am
"I the locker room that day I was lulling behind. I was going to skip English. Paris was running late too. At first I thought it was my artistic eye that was attracted to that form. I had never spared the time to really look at anyone before. I'm not sure what made me do so then. I couldn't stand not knowing if it was my artistic tendencies or true preference rearing its head. I decided I might as well find out. Paris was open to the idea of course and willing to help."
Yes, it was spontaneous. Fast. Billy thought to soften it though. Explain why, during the third date squable, he had called it a mistake.
"I wasn't thinking beyond myself. Wasn't considering that maybe, one day, thoughts of love would reawaken in my mind. That I might find someone worth me. Someone worth putting myself on the line for. Letting someone have the potential to hurt me deeper than any physical wound. So while I am glad to know my..preference, I regret that I did so in such a way." Okay, he really didn't regret much of anything. Maybe one day he would though.
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:58 am
That did make him feel better, and while he felt sad that his friend might have invested more emotionally than Billy might have, it was only a lesson that Paris put himself in in being up for it. It was still rather startling that Paris could pass by someone in a locker room and be up for that, but from what Ladon heard straight from the blonde, he didn't seem to mind at all. Actually, he rather seemed to enjoy his time, though that worried him too. "You two should talk." He thought out loud, looking up. "You two should try and at least make things a little more clear. I think Paris was really surprised by suddenly seeing you with someone. It might help a little." That and he still secretly hoped that the two of them could be in the same room together without yelling. Ladon had a tiny, little, small thought that it might be nice to go double dating at one point, but that was a far away fantasy that he knew might never happen. For one, they hated each other, and two, Paris didn't date. Oh well.
Feeling his appetite return, he started to eat a little more, but stopped again. "I hope that you don't think.....well, Paris has been with more people than I have.......I hope you don't mind that I'm not ....that I haven't been with more people." One was actually more people that Paris had been with than he had, and Paris passed that number ages ago. In fact, he remembered that Paris even mentioned that he couldn't even remember that person. He wondered how anyone could forget their first time.
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 11:15 am
"Let's put it this way, dear Ladon, at least you won't know if I do poorly," Billy chuckled. Not that he thought he would. There certainly must have been a reason Paris had been so disappointed he had decided to dedicate himself to someone.
As far as talking to Paris went, that would be up to Paris. He certainly wasn't putting it on his to-do list. Besides, what business was it of Paris what Billy decided to do anyway? Sigh.
Then, much disappoint; his fries were gone. Oh well, time to start on the burger.
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Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 11:44 am
He flustered at where this talk was leading to, and where he had, in some way, moved them too. Bedroom talk was not something he engaged in, or addressing anything sexually. the fact that Billy brought up what might happen made him not only be forced to address this idea, along with an actual figure in it aside from some unknown somebody he had yet to meet, but how and what would take place.
"I would never think that about you. I'm sure y - " he stopped right there, already turning brick red and deciding to just STOP that right there by reaching for his tea and drinking it...and drinking some more just to keep from hyperventilating. Billy and him....that way. He was finding it hard to imagine, but his brain was working hard to get on that point despite trying not to be so dirty.
Not saying anything, he noticed Billy was out of fries, and taking the carton he had barely touched, leaned in and dumped half on his tray. It wasn't like he ate a lot anyways, and Billy seemed to like them. He continued drinking his tea.
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