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Alright, this is, more than anything, an issue I need help with, not a debate.

Many of you don't know me well. Let me just say I used to have sex. I am not married. Almost a year ago I got pregnant. I had an abortion. This broke me to pieces.

Lately I've been considering whether it's alright to have sex before marriage because my fiance will one day be paralyzed from the waist down. He believes it's alright for these reasons, but I'm uncertain. I am also still very afraid of getting pregnant again.

And yes, I do take the pill {PCOS}. Perfectly, I might add.

I guess I just need spiritual guidance. I'm really not very far in my spiritual journey.

I agree with Rob here...

I advocate abstinence for the unwed myself, mostly because of the emotional and hormonal implications that result, which tend to cloud most people's ability to judge between what they really want, and what their body craves.

If you are certain that you will be with this man forever, I see no problem with it as long as you are ready, but if he truly loves you and respects you, he won't pressure you into something you aren't comfortable in doing yet.

On the same note, you should try not to give him mixed signals that you are ready to go all the way and then leave him dead in the water. (I know how easy it is to do that to a guy, so I am just talking from experience there).

You should really take a bit of time to evaluate what you want for yourself, what you want for and from your fiance', and what you want of your relationship now and in the future. Then sit down and have a serious conversation with your man, and see what he wants on all of those points. Once you both know where each other stand, I am sure you will have a clearer view of what actions are right for you to take from there....

Try not to let guilt get to you either. Just because you have had sex before doesn't mean it was right then, and it doesn't mean you owe your man sex now. At the same time, just because you messed up before doesn't mean that if you decide to open yourself to him now it will be wrong.

I know I'm late in posting this reply, but I had to do a bit of research into the History of Marriage as we know it today before I could really provide accurate information.

Something to note that is interesting, Marriages performed by a Priest in front of witnesses wasn't even mandated until 1563. Many marriages consisted of just the Bride and Groom devoting themselves to each other and deciding that they want to spend the remainder of their mortal lives together. The Wealthy would typically have large functions and parties so as to announce it to the public that the two were paired off, as it was more a business merger than anything else. Man goes up to Father of Bride, makes a monetary offer, they haggle, and settle on a price(My ex almost made me do this because she wanted a truly authentic Greek Wedding. The Service would have taken around 9 hours in all). In cases of Nobility and Guild families, the wedding would be a public occasion, much pomp and flair, the Bride would have a white dress as a show of Wealth(white is an extremely uncommon color for medieval times, it's the most difficult to keep clean and shows any dirt or smudges easily), and many bridesmaids and a large party.

Now, the gentry had a bit of a different experience. The lower classes had no point in marrying for status, as it was always a lateral move(endogamy). So, they would marry for a different reason; Love. Up until 1538, a Christian Marriage was performed by a statement of mutual consent, a declaration of intention to marry, and the subsequent physical union of the parties[sauce].

The fact is, the modern belief of what is "Traditional Marriage" is a myth. Traditionally, you would declare your intent, make a promise, and consummate. You said that you are currently engaged - thus it sounds to me you two have already made your public declaration of your intent to be together. So, no, for what I have researched, there is no sin involved - simply a much deserved declaration of love. Best of Luck to the two of you.

Ah, I'll keep you in my prayers. I will advise you that, if you are truly afraid of getting pregnant again until you're in a stable marriage, then wait. I only advise sex before marriage if you're wholly willing to commit to that person, but the problem is that they may end up just leaving all together. But this is your choice, all I can do is advise and hope you make the right choice. Pax vobiscum, my friend.