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Yejide found herself curled up next to the lion. He was a warm, his fur soft, and she felt quite protected. They had spent a few days together, enjoying each others company. What had started as a tenuous friendship had turned in to something a bit . . .more. Sure enough, she had lingered in the golden males company and had taken refuge in his touch.
She wasn't sure how things had changed, how they had gone from friends to something more, but the shift had taken place and now there was no going back. Jawara had been nothing but a gentle and sweet lion, that much was certain, but something was missing. There was no spark when she met him, there was no swoon, there was no awe that she felt.
He just was. Certainly she felt fond of the male, but everything had happened so quickly. She had latched on to his affection because she thought she needed another in her life. But now that he was here, resting beside her, she felt trapped. Her paws itched to be on the road again, and she wanted nothing more than to escape the thoughts of her sister. Jawara had mentioned roguing it and yet part of the orange eyed female felt as if she needed to be free.
His affection was pleasant, but the orange eyed female felt only as if she needed to be free. These thoughts had kept her up all night, and she worried his response. In fact, she'd been a bit tense since she'd begun to wonder. It was coming to a climax though, if she didn't speak to him now she might very well just leave in the middle of the night. And that wouldn't be fair to him, the gentle giant she had discovered most unexpectedly.
"Jawara?" She leaned over and pawed lightly at the male. "Wake up."
A large, violet eye opened and a small smile curved his maw as Jawara took a moment to gaze upon the female. There she was, staring down at him, his most unusual friend. He truly hoped that something might come of this - she had lingered by his side and taken comfort in his affections. They had spent a great deal of time together and the large lion found his heart soaring with delight. It had been a long time since he'd last had such a fun and amicable companion. Her quiet nature reflected well against his gentle and peaceful nature- they made a good team, and he was blessed everyday she lingered.
"Well good morning, beautiful." He gave a yawn and leaned forward to nuzzle her. Where she was often receptive to his touches, today he saw that her ears flattened a bit and her smile seemed a bit forced. "Did you sleep well?"
Yejide gave a small smile when the male nuzzled her, but she almost wished he hadn't. That wasn't going to make what she had to say any more easy and she was uncertain of his response. This wasn't going to be pleasant for either of them, and she could only hope the lion wouldn't over react or make a scene. "I slept all right. You make a good pillow." She was honest. His embrace had been ever so comforting for her, but it wasn't something she craved.
He was and would only ever be a friend. But their friendship was something that she couldn't keep. It was time for her to move on, for them to part ways.
Jawara gave a chuckle and a small flick of his tail. "Being big boned has its advantages I must say." He could have been a great warrior had he studied up on the art of battle, but it just wasn't in his personality to be such a thing. He was far from violent, he was kind, affection, and almost lackadaisical in his nature. He was a gentle giant and had seemingly been made for cuddles.
Somehow though, he realized something wasn't right this morning. His ebony shadowed companion seemed to be a bit more reserved, and there was tension on her face. Joy and happiness eluded her expression and a part of him realized that this would likely be the last morning he'd see her.
He wasn't stupid. Their relationship wasn't one meant to last. In fact, he was surprised it had started to begin with! That had never been his intention when he had asked if she might care to linger in his company. But somehow, something had shifted and changed . . . and now, he was standing on the precipice of its end.
He could be wrong, might be wrong, but there was something in the air that whispered he was right.
Yejide gave another small smile, before she gently rolled out of his reach and on to her paws. She stretched a bit, shaking her stiff muscles loose and readjusting herself so there was space between them. "Just one of the many advantages, mind. You're a wonderful companion, any female would be lucky to have you by their side." And yet, she found herself averting her gaze.
Jawara felt his mouth dry and his heart skip a beat. He knew. Now, there was no doubt. A self-deprecating smile crossed his features and he glanced away. " . . .but?"
Yejide's ears pricked forward and she frowned a bit. Here was her opening. She had better just come right out and say it before she got cold paws. The longer she waited, the more miserable she would be and it wouldn't be fair to the golden male. "But I--" she hesitated , swallowing hard before spitting it out. "But I think there will be other females out there who will better appreciate it than I. I think ti's time that we part ways, Jawara. You're a great lion and all but I just don't think we're meant to be. Not for long, any way, and I'd rather us end on a good note than when I'm miserable and making your life so."
The golden lion said nothing as the word sunk in. He saw that the black and orange eyed female looked tense, that her muscles had bunched and she had lowered herself as if ready to spring away. Hopefully she didn't fear him and just worried about his reaction. Part of him wanted to object, to tell her that she just needed to give it time. But another part of him knew that she had already made up her mind and there was no sense in fighting. To keep her would be purely selfish, and would only complicate matters.
He had known from their first touch that she would only be but a shadow, a fleeting and flickering being to cross his life. He had known and yet he had pursued. "I see." It was the only thing he could think of saying, even as his throat tightened with emotion. Regret. Oh, how he hated such a thing.
Yejide blinked. I see? That was it? That was the only thing he was going to say? Her ears flattened some and she bit her lip. "I'm sorry. I just know that you're not what I need right now. I don't need a relationship, I need something more, something you can't give me." Purpose? Likely. Forgiveness? Something she could only give herself. "I'd be using you if I stayed, lying to both of us, and that wouldn't be fair. Because I'd leave one day, and it would only be worse. I. . . I hope you understand."
Jawara heaved a heavy sigh, but he slowly nodded. He stood, giving his coat a shake before he turned his gaze back upon Yejide. He wasn't happy to hear this news, and his heart ached, but his mind told him that she was right. They weren't right for one another, he had made more of their relationship than he should have. "Don't apologize. I enjoyed your company immensely, and hope you know that you are a beautiful lioness. I was lucky to have met you, and am glad for the time we did spend together. If this is what you desire, I won't keep you. I'll always have the memories to cherish, after all, so it isn't a complete loss. Though I . . . I do wish things had turned out differently." The regret that laced his words was obvious.
Yejide gave a small nod and heaved a sigh herself. She was glad that the golden lion seemed to accept her plight. But she saw and heard his regret. He was hurting. She too would crave his companionship after she left, but this was right. It was the only thing to do for both of their sakes. "The timings wrong, Jawara. I'm not what you seek, and you're not what I need. But I do thank you as well. You've been nothing but kind, nothing but gentle. I won't so swiftly forget you." She smiled softly at the lion, even as her own heart broke.
She didn't like doing this. He was hurting and while she did hold the remedy, she was refusing to give it.
But Jawara was strong, and he would make it. It wasn't the first lioness whose company he lost. And, at the rate he was going, likely wouldn't be the last. "Do you know where you're going from here? Wherever it is, I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world. I won't ask you to stay for breakfast, I think if you did I wouldn't want to ever let you go."
Yejide gave a small chuckle, reaching out to lightly nuzzle his neck. She'd miss this most about him, his large mane and the gentleness of his touch. "I think staying for a meal was the start of this complicated romance. I won't ask you to let me stay, and will be on my way. I don't know where I'm going, but I think I'm looking for home. I thank you for your kindness, Jawara. I know you'll find your own happiness soon."
The large male shut his eyes for just a moment, treasuring the touch of the ebony feline. This was it. This would be their goodbye. Perhaps someday they would cross paths again, but for now, it was time for them to leave. Such was the fate of the gods, than so be it. "I'll miss you. Take care in your journey and thank you for your honesty."
"Farewell, friend. May the gods bless your trails." And with that, the orange eyed female fled, bolting like an ebony lightning bolt across the savanna. She had picked a direction, none in particular, and was soon nothing more than memory.
Her scent lingered with the male, and for a long while he sat in quiet contemplation. It surprised him how swiftly the tables had turned. Just last night they had laughed and cuddled and found joy in each others company. Yet with the dawn, she was no gone, a memory, and one he knew he wouldn't likely see again. Strange how the world worked. Perhaps it would have been better if he'd never met her at all. At least hten he wouldn't be here, alone, and once more on the trail.
No. He couldn't think that though, could he? She had done what she had to do, and though he felt hurt from it, from this pain would grow new life and healing. Like the wildfires of the summer, from the charred earth would soon rise new life. This heart ache was no different.
Heaving a heavy sigh, Jawara picked a direction opposite of where Yejide had fled. It was time to start anew once more and maybe pick up breakfast on the way.
