Nadhir = Brown
Kichaa = Red
Nadhir stood poised as he contemplated the borders of the prideland. He had never been past them before, but now he would be forced to. His father had told him about the ritual, that he would be sent forth to bring back his first banu. His dreams had told him otherwise. They had worsened in the passing weeks, overwhelming him with images and screaming sounds. Each morning he had awoken sicker than the one before, exhausted. He couldn't take much more.
Kichaa was nervous, so very nervous. Today would be the day. The day where she left this life behind to make a new path for herself. A path that didn't involve being someone else's servant and toy; however, with the new life she was about to lead, she had to leave the old one behind. Kichaa new that once she had escaped, once she had ran away she could never return. She'd never see her mother again, she's never see her sister again, she'd never see her brothers again and most importantly she'd never see him again. Nadhir, the only friend she had, the only person she'd taken the time to even try growing close to, the only Pesar she could even see being a Banu to.
She walked quietly out towards the borders, having heard that's where Nadhir had gone. He'd be leaving soon as well, going out to capture his first Banu. It itched her to her bone, the thought that he would be bringing home someone who wasn't her, but it was for the better. Kichaa already had a reputation in the pride for not being exactly obedient and for saying things that others frowned upon. She knew that even if he was her friend, that she was no good for him. His father was a god, someone who commanded a level of respect and held a high reputation. She didn't want to tarnish that for him, but it was still hard. It was going to be hard to break this friendship.
After a small time of wandering the border she found him standing there as if in deep contemplation. She wanted to keep this memory of him in her head forever, because it'd be the last one she had of him. She took a step forward and put on the best smile she could, "Nadhir?"
He glanced back over his shoulder, startled by the voice. Someone had caught him. Realizing it was Kichaa he relaxed, turning to her with a smile. His eyes were heavily shadowed, giving his adolescent form a ghostly appearance. "Kichaa, what brings you out this way?" he asked, examining her expression carefully. Something was off, he could see it but he couldn't quite place it. "Has my mother been yelling for me?"
Kichaa shook her head at him quietly, "No, no. Chacha didn't hear Nadhir's mother calling for him."
She looked at him quietly, her paws fidgeting with the ground as she struggled with the right words to give him. It was no easy feet, locking your feelings away from the world and pushing the only person who showed you an ounce of kindness out of your life, but she had to do so. For the sake of her freedom and her mental health, she had to push him away, cut all ties with him and it had to be done right.
"Actually... Chacha came to talk with you, Nadhir. I," She said, straining to get across the seriousness of the conversation she wanted to have by using proper pronouns with him, "need to talk to you about something. It's very important."
A look of concern settled on his face and he stared at her for a moment before glancing away again. If he focused his attention elsewhere she might be more comfortable, females often were. "If it's important, I may not be the best to tell," he joked, offering her a brief smile, "But go ahead if you believe I should hear." His head wasn't throbbing quite so much as it did before, her presence was oddly comforting. He knew it was partially the distraction, but also the bond they shared on their mutual weaknesses.
Kichaa smiled wearily at his joke, feeling the weight of her endeavour build in her chest. She could have sworn she was drowning, had it not been for the ground firmly beneath her feet and the lack of water that should have been surrounding her. She took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, her chest quivering from the anxiety.
"Nadhir," Kichaa began, trying her best to stick to the scenario she had played over and over again in her mind, "Chacha.... I..... can't be your friend anymore."
Kichaa fell silent after she managed to utter the words and starred at the ground beneath her. She couldn't bring herself to look at his face and see the dissapointment, or the heart ache. She wasn't even sure if he'd be hurt by her words. What if he didn't feel anything at all? No, he wouldn't lie to her in that way. He was her friend, and he was sincere in being her friend, even if he was losing her now.
Nadhir snapped to face her at her words, his face screwed up in an odd way. "You-," he started, silencing himself as he examined her. She was telling the truth, at least as far as she believed. He wasn't sure what to make of it. Was she ashamed of him? Everyone always ended up being that way, but he thought she was different. His cheeks flushed and he looked away again, trying his best to sound calm, "I haven't done anything Chacha. Why do you say something like that?"
When Nadhir began to respond to her she flinched, her eyes growing tight as she fought not to look at him. She knew if she looked at him right now she'd break down. She'd sob and cry and tell him what she was planning to do, but she couldn't. He was a good Pesar, and would be a great Pad. If he knew what she was planning, and how her brother was going to accomplice her in it he would no doubt tell his father, or even the Sultan. Her brother would be punished, and she would be beaten, forced into the rank of Kajira. He was a good Pesar, and that was why she knew what he would do.
"N-no!" Kichaa stuttered, feeling hot tears form in her eyes, "Chacha can't be Nadhir's friend for Nadhir's sake. Chacha would ruin Nadhir's reputation..."
She breathed in and out heavily, attempting to calm herself down. Even if she didn't want the freedom she was risking her life to achieve, she still wouldn't be able to knowingly stay friends with Nadhir. She was considered a bad Banu. It was shame him and his family to be associated with someone like her. No one wanted her as a Banu anyway. No one but the ones who liked to beat on Banu like herself.
"My... Reputation?" He almost laughed at her comment, thought he knew it was inappropriate to do so. She was trying to do what she thought was best, that much he could tell, even if she wasn't giving him the whole truth. It wasn't his place to pry. "Chacha, you know about me already, you know I don't have anything to lose," he added, looking at her directly now, "I don't even know if I'll-" He cut himself off, remembering her situation and how his plans might provoke her. "If this if what you want then..."
Her ears pressed against her head as he responded, an almost amused tone to his voice, though she knew he wouldn't directly laugh at her. He probably thought her actions were silly, but she knew they were for the best. Seh dared open her eyes and peak up at him, catching him looking directly at her. Her heart raced and her head became muddied with the thoughts of whether or not this was the right thing for her. Would she ever even be able to find someone as nice to her as he was? As accepting of her and her disease as he had been? Would he even remember her when she was gone?
"This is what Chacha wants...," She said quietly, feeling the few tears that had escaped dampen the fur around her eyes.
She wished they could run away together, but she knew that he would never agree to it. He wouldn't want to upset his father that way, or cross Kwea in such a way. It was Kwea's fault, and she would openly blame him for it if she could. Doing that would do no good, though. Not with this anyway.
"Then I say goodbye," he sighed, "With a heavy heart and hoping you'd reconsider." The throbbing was back, this time all a mess of browns and reds and intricate designs. None of it helped. She was one of the few in the pride he could consider a friend, and he had hoped to seek her opinion on his plans. It seemed now that he wouldn't get the chance. She had made her decision, and it was to seperate herself from him. He only wished he knew why, so that he might help. "If you change your mind Chacha, know that I might not always be... available."
Kichaa held back the knot that had developed in her throat, the please of reconsideration attempting to force their way from her heart through her mouth. Her brain had made up its mind though, and silenced her heart swiftly, but her body was still left to respond. Shew knew that what she was about to do wasn't exactly within the pride etiquette, but this was an exception, or at least she hoped Nadhir'd see it as one. Taking a few quick steps forward, Kichaa flung her arms around her friend's shoulders quietly, embracing him in a hug that felt like eternity to her.
"Nadhir will always be in Chacha's heart..." She said quietly, before letting him go and turning to leave.
Nadhir froze, feeling his throat dry up as she wrapped her arms around him. He hoped no one was looking, both of them would have been in serious danger of a forced match and a hell of a scolding. "Chacha," he squeaked as she let him go, "I'm sorry things have to be this way." He sighed as he watched her go, trying to figure out a way to explain his absence to his parents. They might suspect something improper, and he wasn't a very good liar.
"Chacha is too..." She mumbled to herself as she walked away from him, heading back to the den she stayed in with her brother. They'd be leaving soon on his Banu hunt and they needed to go over exactly what was to happen once they left pridal lands.
In the back of Kichaa's head were her thoughts, jumbled and screaming at her from every direction. She was angry and sad, fearful and optomistic, depressed and overjoyed, but the loudest voice she heard was the one that screamed she'd soon be free.
