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 Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 1:31 pm
[ as always, rude and asinine comments are not welcome within the metaphorical walls of this thread. Thank you ]
So I am very confused and angry and sad and just conflicted right now.
I just found out [or not just, on Friday, just finally writing it out in Burn] that... well let me start from the begining
So for a week or two there has been a big bruhaha towards one of my friends with a bunch of my other friends. She said some trash and now everyone pretty much hates her [like Angelina from Jersey Shore xD]. My friends keep approaching me and telling me to stop talking to her. But I can't really. She is my friend too... But also my very best friend told me a real reason why my friend was dead to her.
She said that a year or two ago when her best friend died [as she noted to me, her only close close close guy friend until me] and this girl [my friend who shall be named M] sent her news video and s**t of her friend's death after she knew about it. It was really jsut a twisted thing to her and she just hates her now.
Her stems one of my problems, I feel horrible just lying to M and to stop talking and associating with her altogether jsut doesn't seem right... Even if my very best friends are telling me not to.
Another problem: I feel so used by my supposed very best friend. Like looking back, most of her actions and recent closeness to me seems like it was just fill in her master plan of isolating totally and completely 'M.'
And lastly, my best friend told me that her old, dead best friend looks like me and acts like me. And she has recently been very teary and sad all the time.
I feel one of two things:
1. like she is using me further to re-live memories of her old friend, which I feel is twisted and sick considering she always tells me how much I mean to her.
2. or two that I am dragging her down, being seen as an image of her old best friend with all these old events resurfacing and just stabbing her [metaphorically]...
I just don't know what to do at all....
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Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 2:39 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 2:41 pm
whenever I post a thread here, I never get a reply emo
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Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 8:32 pm
I'm sorry no one has replied to you. so your friend is mad at your other friend for sending her info. on her friends death after she already knew about it? and you don't know if that girl is friends with you because you remind of her dead friend or if she actually likes you?
You should tell your friend that you won't stop talking to your other friend because the problem is between them and you are friends with both of them and don't want to choose sides. They need to work it out on their own. For your other problem you should just talk to her and see what she really likes about you, is it because you remind her of someone she cared about or does she actually like you?
I hope that helps you a little bit, I'm not very good at giving advice but I thought I should try to help.
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:10 am
jessica_manson I'm sorry no one has replied to you. so your friend is mad at your other friend for sending her info. on her friends death after she already knew about it? and you don't know if that girl is friends with you because you remind of her dead friend or if she actually likes you? You should tell your friend that you won't stop talking to your other friend because the problem is between them and you are friends with both of them and don't want to choose sides. They need to work it out on their own. For your other problem you should just talk to her and see what she really likes about you, is it because you remind her of someone she cared about or does she actually like you? I hope that helps you a little bit, I'm not very good at giving advice but I thought I should try to help. 
Pssh, are you kidding me? Any little bit of advice helps. Even if it is "OMG N00bz, just ******** em!" [although that was the stupidest post I could come up with xD exaggeration]
But thanks, especially about the letting them settle it on their own. [And of course the other advice too]
Thanks all in all, is what I am trying to say :p
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:57 am
Well, there *is* the possibility that your friend could be doing one of which you suspect, if not both put together.
I understand that that does bother you deeply [who wouldn't feel bothered by the thought of being used in such a way?], but the main thing in all of this is...
You should do what you feel is right. Give it time. Think it over. I do agree that if what you suspect is true, it would be rather messed up. Just think: Would you want to continue being friends with someone who is friends with you for that sort of reason?
However, rather than assuming that she may be using you like that for her own gain, I think it would be safe to just talk about it with her. Find out what exactly is going on.
Chances are, if she became friends with you for the sole purpose of clinging to a past memory, then she may have done so without even realizing it. Many people have done the same thing; she wouldn't have been the only one.
Again, just try talking to her, and be reasonable with whatever she does care to impart with you.
- - -
As for the girl whom the others want you to ignore... Again, I must say I think you should go with what you feel is right, and not with what others are trying to push you to do.
Of course, this is all just opinionated, but it's what I feel right now. <3
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:03 am
BrokenJanders [ as always, rude and asinine comments are not welcome within the metaphorical walls of this thread. Thank you ]So I am very confused and angry and sad and just conflicted right now. I just found out [or not just, on Friday, just finally writing it out in Burn] that... well let me start from the begining So for a week or two there has been a big bruhaha towards one of my friends with a bunch of my other friends. She said some trash and now everyone pretty much hates her [like Angelina from Jersey Shore xD]. My friends keep approaching me and telling me to stop talking to her. But I can't really. She is my friend too... But also my very best friend told me a real reason why my friend was dead to her. She said that a year or two ago when her best friend died [as she noted to me, her only close close close guy friend until me] and this girl [my friend who shall be named M] sent her news video and s**t of her friend's death after she knew about it. It was really jsut a twisted thing to her and she just hates her now. Her stems one of my problems, I feel horrible just lying to M and to stop talking and associating with her altogether jsut doesn't seem right... Even if my very best friends are telling me not to. Another problem: I feel so used by my supposed very best friend. Like looking back, most of her actions and recent closeness to me seems like it was just fill in her master plan of isolating totally and completely 'M.' And lastly, my best friend told me that her old, dead best friend looks like me and acts like me. And she has recently been very teary and sad all the time. I feel one of two things: 1. like she is using me further to re-live memories of her old friend, which I feel is twisted and sick considering she always tells me how much I mean to her. 2. or two that I am dragging her down, being seen as an image of her old best friend with all these old events resurfacing and just stabbing her [metaphorically]... I just don't know what to do at all.... What an interesting predicament..... clearly, those two won't be able to get along easily anymore. I had this problem before, but I wan't really in the middle of it all, like you are. Anyways, how long ago did you say this dilema happened? two years ago? Why are they still fighting, then? Second, the fact that your best friend refferences you to her dead friend as a way of keeping you close only shows that she's using pity to control yur thoughts and emotions. Don't fall for that. I was very naive once with my step mom when she bauled in tears for me so that she could get the majority of my paycheck (which worked, because I was naive.) Lastly, if you can.... try to maintain your friendship with both of them. There will be a point in which you will be able to decide who deserves your frienship and who doesn;t. If you decide based on peer pressure rather than thinking it out, your going to regret it later.
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