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 Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 9:03 am
It was hard enough when I told her I wasn't christian (she cried), but how am I going to break this to her? Should I just keep it secret until I move out? I am 18.
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Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 9:17 am
Depends on your situation. Would she disown you if you told her you were pagan? Would being pagan disrespect the rules of the home you are under currently?
Personally it depends on what kind of relationship you want with your mom, what relationship you have with your mom currently, and what consequences you are willing to accept.
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Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 9:44 am
Why do you want to tell her at all?
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Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 1:27 pm
Esiris Why do you want to tell her at all? This ^^ Unless she is constantly asking you about your religious choices, I don't really see the need to say anything. Either way, it's probably a good idea to wait until you are no longer living at home. Also if you are still in the process of figuring out which branch of Paganism suits you (don't know if this applies, but just it case it does), it would be good to wait until you can give her more specific information. When ever you do decide to talk to her about it, make sure that you gather some good information/resources about your current path, so that you can clear up any possible misconceptions she might have.
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Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:56 pm
It really does depend on your situation. I felt the need to talk to my family about my beliefs when I was first becoming serious about paganism because I wanted to be able to worship openly in my own home. My mother's family is all very religious (Christian), and so the discussion did not go well, to put it lightly. Considering how much my beliefs have changed since then and how much damage my family caused me during that time, I really regret making the decision to tell them then. Now we are on good terms with each other again, but religion is something we rarely discuss. I think they believe I "got over" paganism, which is very far from reality. However, I let them go on thinking that, because how I conduct my life when not staying with them is none of their business. If you feel that your life will be improved by talking to your family, then by all means do it; just be aware that there could be negative consequences as well that you did not anticipate.
Just curious... What is your specific path? It might help you to get more specific feedback from others who have had the same experience in the same path.
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Posted: Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:08 pm
As Alrenn said, it really depends on the situation.
Are you planning to openly practice in your mother's home? If so, you probably need to talk to her about it - after all, you're living in her home by her hospitality and good will, and if it will upset her or disrespect her to have that open practice, you'll want to think twice about doing it.
If you don't plan to practice openly at home until you're living under your own roof and your own responsibilty, it's really not any of your mom's business. You'll probably have less headaches if you hold off telling her and wait.
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:31 am
When I told my family, I had very mixed reactions: my mum doesn't mind me practising (but hates it when I say I'm not Catholic), my dad thinks it's phase and that I'll grow out of it (he also thinks it's funny and tries to degrade my beliefs) and my little brother couldn't care less.
I dunno, I guess it's all up to how you think she will take it, but judging by her reaction to her when you said you weren't Christian anymore - don't tell her until you move out.
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Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 10:04 am
Catalinalyra It was hard enough when I told her I wasn't christian (she cried), but how am I going to break this to her? Should I just keep it secret until I move out? I am 18. It very much depends on the relationship you have with your mum and how you intend to go about practicing your beliefs. Whilst living under your mum's roof its only right and out of respect that you follow the house rules. However you are 18 years old and techincally an adult (well you would be here in the UK). and free to make choices of your own. I personally dont think there is anything wrong with you researching your beliefs and reading as much as possible as knowledge is will always be the best weapon you can have in life. I dont feel there is anything in the rules that say you cannot read books and write about it in journals/BOS if this is what you like to do. You may want to consider refraining from the physical practice of witchraft under your mums roof until such a time as you have indeed discussed your feelings with her or alternatively left home. If she were to find you practicing in secrete this would take some explaining and put you in a difficult position you may not be ready to face. All in all if you are still very much at the learning stage in your path and not yet confident in what you belief and feel and do etc and not ready to answer the more complicated questions then perhaps waiting until you have moved out from home would be better or at least until you are more confident in explaning to her what you feel. Its very much a personal matter and each individual is different. I would never advise complete secreacy secrets have a habit for finding their way out. Being open and honest is probably the best policy but I understand that this doesnt always work for everyone and somethings sparing others feelings is very important. If you are not physically practicing witchcraft at home and are merely at the reading and making your mind up stage then no I wouldnt discuss this with mum. If you are at the stage of moving forward and wanting to practice and be more active then you may want to consider preparing yourself for a talk with her. Go with gut instinct for now. sorry if I rambled on my mind was drifing it bit this afternoon. eek With blessings Lady Sea
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Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 2:10 am
To reiterate what everyone else has said, it depends. With my own family, I told my mother and then asked for a ride to the local pagan store. I needed crystals and new candles, as well as sage. She said ok, then told me that, until the situation changed, I wasn't allowed tarot cards, simply because she'd had many bad experiences with them (I was about 15 at the time, and didn't question her). Over time it changed.
With my dad, however, it was very different. I had a background on the desktop of my computer (a pentacle surrounded by the elements) and he about punched my monitor. He proceeded to rant and rave about how that was a "devil symbol" and I "Better not be practicing that satanic s**t" because "being a goth and worshipping satan was not something he'd have in his house". I proceeded to lecture him on paganism and the difference between a pentacle and a reversed pentacle, then fished through my things to show him the various books I had on paganism (at the time, it was "Living Wicca" by Cunningham).
So it really just depends on the situation you're in. But I wish you the best of luck and hope it goes well for you. mrgreen
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Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 12:16 pm
Well, I'm 18 now. I did a litmus test, and it didn't turn out too well. I had checked out this book of spells (planetary magick), and my mom saw it. She said that that kind of stuff upsets her. And she is hard-core Southern Baptist. The reason I stopped going to church is because my youth pastor was trying to convince us that the Earth was only 6000 years old, and the Grand Canyon was created by the Flood. I'm going to wait until I move out.
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Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 6:03 am
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Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 12:00 pm
Not sure if OP still needs advice, but I'd like to voice my opinion anyway.
The way I did it was I first said that I didn't really see myself as Christian anymore, but that I still believed in a deity of some sort. Recently I gave my mom the explanation that I was going to explore and practice Paganism (not saying a specific "brand") to see if it was what I've been searching for. I also told her that I may one day return to Christianity, or I may not, and that it was my decision to make. Being 19, I explained that I was an adult and I needed to make choices for myself, and that this was one of those choices. Luckily, I have a fairly open-minded mom who, although she was a little disappointed that I wasn't Christian, accepted my choice and is aware of it and trying not to wrong me in some way by belittling my religious choice, and I do the same in return.
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Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 1:30 pm
Amari_of_the_Wolves Not sure if OP still needs advice, but I'd like to voice my opinion anyway. The way I did it was I first said that I didn't really see myself as Christian anymore, but that I still believed in a deity of some sort. Recently I gave my mom the explanation that I was going to explore and practice Paganism (not saying a specific "brand") to see if it was what I've been searching for. I also told her that I may one day return to Christianity, or I may not, and that it was my decision to make. Being 19, I explained that I was an adult and I needed to make choices for myself, and that this was one of those choices. Luckily, I have a fairly open-minded mom who, although she was a little disappointed that I wasn't Christian, accepted my choice and is aware of it and trying not to wrong me in some way by belittling my religious choice, and I do the same in return. Thanks for the advice, but I'm already out.
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