xxxxxxxA sound slowly dug its annoying monotone of death into my head. There’d been nearly 2,200 days of school, but none of them were going to be hopeless as this one. The blaring became louder and louder as I came around to consciousness. I’d heard that sound too many times to approach it with a pleasant attitude. My smile curled wickedly as I swung my hand down hard onto my alarm clock. Silence.

xxxxxxxMy stomach growled at me so fiercely it was astounding it wasn’t barking. I don’t suggest you lay face down on an empty stomach (unless you want it to become more physically abusive than a 1960’s style drill sergeant).

xxxxxxxWith my eyes squinted so hard they were nearly closed again, I stumbled through the hallway to the kitchen. It was dark and snowy outside. A dim light above the sink was just enough to light the way. The heat was turned down after we went to bed to save energy since we had our blankets to keep us warm. Each step I took on the linoleum floor to the refrigerator was more chilling than the last. My hands were pulled into tight fists to keep myself from worrying about whether or not they’d fall off if I were extra cautious. Even in early September the elements in Wisconsin had a way of sneaking into your head and doing the exact opposite of what you expected.

xxxxxxxI finally reached the refrigerator. I grabbed the handle with hesitation, but it wasn’t the handle that I should’ve been worried about. As soon as I pulled the door open, light attacked my eyes right when I laid my guard down. I shut my eyes as hard as I could, but that only seemed to make it worse. The light seeped through my eyelids a bit more easily than it had when they were open. I mustered up my courage and opened my eyes fully. It was just not my morning because when I did so, I discovered that my eyes were horribly dry. My eyes watered from the air trying sucking the moister from them. I blinked and blinked and blinked. At long last my eyes settled in their environment.

xxxxxxxThe bacon stared at me from the middle shelf with its scrumptiousness. I was never any good at the staring game. Pulling it out from the refrigerator, I became aware of the fact that this happened every time we bought bacon and I was perfectly okay with the twenty-five grams of salt and almost 250 calories per strip. This was worth it.

~~~

xxxxxxxI left the house with silence. Being the first day of my last year of school, I didn’t want to have anything add to the bit of frustration that gathered in the back of my mind from this morning’s battle with my eyes, and not to mention I had black bacon; it burnt when I went to go make myself a bagel. As I walked, I blew my breath in front of me so that when I moved into the “cloud,” it would heat my nose, if only for just a second. Though my coat was nice and toasty at first, I could start to feel the cold closing in on me, slowly wiggling its way through the fibers of my clothes and onto my skin. If the bus didn’t come soon, I’d be a walking ice sculpture.



~~~


xxxxxxxKids surrounding me on all sides seemed to be the worst torture so far. They got louder and rougher and dumber as we neared the school. Even in this setting, I was still reluctant to leave the comforting warmth of the bus.
xxxxxxxWe unloaded and headed into the school. It didn’t matter which way you were intending to go, wherever the mass was going, you had no choice but to follow it; so many people in one large stampede, all heading in the same direction. I giggled at the thought of all the little freshmen who had their first day with nothing but a map to guide them through the two-story building.

xxxxxxxThe previous years left me wondering how much damage I should be prepared for. There once was a boy I liked…and that really explains it all. He pretended to like me so he could make a good impression on another girl. He had also worked his way between me and my closest friends. When he decided he couldn’t stand me anymore, he dumped me and then flaunted his new girlfriend—a girl he knew less about than he knew of me. Later, he begged me for forgiveness that I was not ready to give, that he needed me even if it was just as a friend, he wanted to start over. He left a mark on me that I would carry with me for quite some time.

xxxxxxxPeople pushed and shoved violently, like they were actually excited to be back to school. Paintbiters, I muttered. It was a term my closest friend and I used to describe the most idiotic of things. Our day-care center watched over a 12-year-old that ate nothing but paint—and we were only 6 at the time. I moved upstairs where the Junior and Senior Lockers would be. My locker was in one of the smaller, dead-end hallways that most people wouldn’t walk through unless it was for a class—the majority of people wouldn’t even come down here for their own locker. I liked that.

xxxxxxxA figure appeared in the corner of my eye. Hair fell all around my head as I looked down, blocking my view. I choose to look up, combing my hair with my fingers back into its original style (brown hair brushed forward with side bangs in the front). It was him. The boy I’d loved and lost. He stood there for a moment before rolling up the sleeve of his purple-and-gray-striped hoodie. His black skinny jeans sagged just a bit in the back and his gray high-tops completed his look. I wanted to smile and blush as he ran his hand quickly over his blonde bangs and in front of his eyes so he wouldn’t see what an idiot I was.

xxxxxxxHe turned his arm so that his wrist faced me. In the center of his forearm were two lines curving to meet each other. It was faint like a scar, and fairly new, too. The shape became familiar that instant. It was a heart, and it was for me. Water gathered in my eyes, a tear rolling down my cheek as I pulled my arm out of my sleeve and showed him the faded heart I had on my inner forearm.

xxxxxxxGrabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers, he led me down the hallway and something inside me told me that everything would be alright, at least for a while. I knew deep down that I had found the one thing I’d lost quite some time ago, and that was beautifully engraved on our arms.



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