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ok, being almost 17 weeks along now, i needed blood work. i have always known that i have an extreme fear of needles but since i havent had blood taken in about 9-10 years i havent really experienced the true and full extent of my phobia. oh, yes i cry everytime i have to have a shot, and when i went to the WIC office they pricked my finger but that didnt really hurt and i wasnt expecting it in the first place.

when i was younger, the first time i had my blood taken was when i was 2 years old. it was for a paternity test. the doctors took me into the lab room alone, without my mom, and held me down while they did it. when they drew the blood and pulled the needle out bood squirted everywhere. i was screaming and they still wouldnt let my mom in. finally, they bring me out. i was wearing a little red dress with a white pinafore and when i came out the pinafore was gone. i was screaming and wailing. if i were to try to figure out what point of my life made me devolop such a strong phobia that would probally have to be it. when i was 5 or so they started me on a child antidepressant, because when they tried ridillin it had reverse affects. they had to monitor my blood closely. i had to go once every 3 months to have blood drawn. my mother would let me sit in her lap and she would hold my arm down with one hand and hold my face away with the other. now she wasnt being mean to me, and i feel now that, that would be a hell of a lot more conforting then having 2 or 3 nurses holding me down.

but this time i had a full THREE weeks to dwell upon the fact that they were going to have to take my blood from the worst place, the vein in my arm. everytime my mother tried to console me about it i would start getting squirmy and would tell her to shut up because she was making me nervous. and she didnt take offense to me telling her to shut up because she knew how much it bothered me.

now, being 19, there is no way in hell my mother could hold me down anymore. i am stonger than her. so when i went in last tuesday to have the blood work done i psyched my self down enough so that i was ok, to be sitting in the GYNO's office, which the nurse there was going to be doing my blood work after my mother convinced her of my phobia enough. well that day, as soon as i had to take my jacket off was when i started reverting. she couldnt get near me. i starting curling into a ball and screaming when she was going to put the tourniquet on me! it was like i was a 3 year old again. behind the terror in my head i could see how i was acting and i couldnt control it! it was like i was a child sitting there balling on my mothers breast like a 3 year old. so finally the nurse saw that it wasnt going to work. i think that was when she finally believed the extent of my phobia. so the doctor comes in and says, "ok, beth, i know that this is a big problem for you, and we know its not your fault. you cant control this" god i love that man. he just knows. he writes me a perscription for Xanax and tells me that its a tranqulizer and that hopefully by tomorrow, (wednesday) we will be able to get the blood drawn.

i had the perscription filled at my work that evening and picked it up at my lunch time. thankfully i have wednesdays off so i wouldnt be under the infulence of Xanax. so my appt is at 12:50 and i take the pill at 11:30. by the time i got to the office i could feel the effects, and i kept saying wierd things and laughing for no reason. but when i got into the office to have the blood drawn, i let her put on the tourniquet to see which arm she needed to take it out of, but i started struggling when it was auctually time for her to stick me. after one .5mg pill i couldnt do it. luckily the doctor had a meeting at the hospital that day so there werent any patients or lines, so we were sent home to get the rest of the pills. (he perscribed 4 in all) i took the second one as soon as i got home, and was REALLY loopy by the time i got to the doctor. they timed it so that i had the second pill in my system for about 45 min. by the time they tried again.

i was siting in the waiting room with my mom and we were getting the jacket issue out of the way. i put the jacket on my left arm and had it sitting on the shoulder of the right. my mother was on my left side when the nurse came in to do it. this time the nurse got the tourniquet and the alchol on with no problem. i even made a fist and spread my arm so she could see the vein. then she brought the needles over and i started to panic again. i closed my arm and she tried to pull my arm down and i resisted her. this is a big, strong lady and she couldnt pull my arm down. i remember her saying "wow, shes strong!" and then i think she left and the doctor came in with her and she got on the side with the needles and put the tourniquet on. my doctor made my mom move over and he stood in her spot. he said, "beth, you are going to look at me and talk to me. i know this is very hard for you, but you know you have to do it for your baby. dont you want your baby to be healthy?" and hit home because this is somthing i have become fanatic about over the last 3 weeks. the nurse put a pillow between my arm and my leg and that helped a LOT. the doctor just kept talking to me, telling me to relax, and that it would be just fine. truely the worst part was when she stuck me. i threw my head back and tensed up and he said, "uh-huh! you arent going to do that! look at me, dont throw your head back. relax." and i just looked at his eyes and tried to relax. after a few minutes it was done. she put the cotton ball on my arm and the doctor told me to hold it. he said, "you have done a very good job and i am proud of you, beth! you did it!" and he gave me a hug. i love that guy so much, and i am glad he is going to be delivering my baby. i trust him completly. hopefully the next time i get my blood drawn i will only have to use 1 Xanax and it will be easier. i want to conquer this so bad! because labor is going to be hard enough without having to deal with this at the same time.

*hugs* I know how phobias can be. I myself am scared of Spiders and the dark. IM not talking "Oh no a spider, Kill it!" I mean "Oh my god A spider! Keep it away keep it away keep it away!" All while jerking and shaking brushing at imaginary spiders that i think and see are on me.
The dark is much worse.
IM proud of you for facing that, even though a bit drugged.
Ive had to have so much blood drawn through out my life, I dont even mind anymore. Though they brought in a new torture i refuse to go through again. Its called a blood gas. They mention that one im running.

I've never had a phobia to that degree. Sure, I am not fond of heights but I have managed to get over that fear by going on roller coasters and ferris wheels and going to the CN tower, but I don't recommend that for everyone...I'm the type of person to force myself to face my fear in order to overcome it...I psyche myself into it, and I know that a lot of people can't do that.

The only thing I deal with now is claustrophobia...when there are too many people around me, I get nervous/edgy/panicky, so that's when I practice my breathing techniques and meditate...I don't know if you have ever tried to meditate, but if you just close your eyes, focus on breathing through your nose and picture pleasant things *and having one of those stress ball things filled with sillica gel helps big time when you are really nervous and can't plant pleasant imagery in your head...you just focus on the sensation of squeezing the stress ball in your hand, it really helped me with my contractions with my second child* and listen to the beat of your own heart, you can drift off into a quite/calm place. It's amazing what the mind can do *nods*.

Perhaps you should talk to your doctor about finding a specialist who deals with curing phobias...when your baby is ready to be born and the contractions start to come hard/fast, you may want an epidural to deal with the pain and you have to stay SUPER still, which can be hard when you're in the middle of a contraction, so it's best to get help dealing with/overcoming your phobia as soon as possible.

Good luck to you hon heart

I've had my blood drawn so many times for different reasons that I don't freak out as much as I used to. Which is good. I still can't watch them draw my blood though.

It SHOULD be easier next time. I mean, you know you can do it if you have to. Keep telling yourself "It's for the baby". That should help. Your doctor sounds super.

I hate blood tests. When I was in my early teens, I was majorly ill and had to have them done weekly for a while.

thank you all for your advice and everything. heart

next time should, nay i say WILL be easier, and im glad i have a patient doctor to help me. maybe i shouldnt say its a phobia of needles but a phobia of having my blood drawn from my arm. i can bear shots and having my finger pricked, i just cant stand anything to do with veins. i dont know if im going to be able to have an IV but im pretty sure that i might be able to get an epidural. now my mother is alergic to different kinds of pain medication, and she suggested that if i could handle the IV then i could use the same pain medication that they used for her with my little brother who was a cescerian. (sp?) they gave it to her through her IV.

i guess i am lucky that i have VERY good blood pressure and good vitiman levels. i have been taking my prenatals everyday at the same time. also i have changed my diet dramatically. i used to eat fast food everyday and now i am sticking to making food at home. in fact i had smothered porkchops and potatoes last night that were almost better than my mom's! ive had a little pot belly for a while and that is slowly turning hard, as i am loosing the fat and my baby is gaining pounds. which is good because i was considered obease before i found out i was pregnant. so inbetween the day i found out i was pregnant and my exam last week i lost 3 pounds, and my doctor wasnt mad at all. he said he only wants me to gain about 15-20 pounds, and i didnt find out i was pregnant untill my third month.

thank you again! heart

Ya, i did almost kill your hand... lolz.

Try getting someone to go with you, and distract you during it. That usually helps. With my next set of needle tests, im bringing Troy along to help me out. Better his hand than moms! xp

hey someone else who shares my phobia and is pregnant. it was horrible when I was pregnant. as you can now tell, taking blood all the damn time! But the thing that helped me most was having someone there, whom was not involved with the taking of my blood, talking to me and just keeping my mind off of it. It was hard at first. My mom came with me to the first few times while my husband was working and she had to hold me down and talk about all the funny things I did as a kid to get me to relax. I felt so ashamed as I had scratched at the nurse who tried to draw my blood. after that, I got better about it as I imagined the nurse's arm and her pained expression. As disturbing as that sounds, it helped me to keep my control so I didn't hurt someone else. sweatdrop