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 Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 9:08 pm
So a while back my step dad and I were chatting and somehow it came up that he and my mom had some sort of program on my computer to show them things that I type, but I thought he was kidding becuase he started accusing me (jokingly, don't worry) of saying things that I hadn't. But last night he told me AGAIN that they had it, and he was serious. Evidently, ever single key that I type on my computer, even these that I type now, is sent to a word document on my mother's computer.
I don't know... I feel violated! My mother says it's to make sure that I don't do inappropriate things on the internet... but I don't! She raised me as a responsible, level headed girl an I know not to fool around with creeps and strangers on the internet!
Again, the main word here is violated. Then betrayed. No I do NOT do inappropriate things on the internet! If someone tries to talk to me an they give any sign of being dangerous/odd/pervertse/strange etc. etc. I don't reply!
I go out of my way to stay away from ***** and people like that here...
I am mostly worried because... well, I write some very personal things in some journals on my computer. I write about things at school, I write about my feelings twords guys an girls, I even write out my frustratons twords my prents and I wrote in all in confidence and now to know that they have read it all...
I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO SECURITY!
If I write in a diary I wouldn't be able to hide it, I share a room wth my little sister, and my mother would probably find it and read it!
I always thought that my computer, my typing and my stories and my journals... they were mine! Those words were for me and me only!
They could have at least told me about all of these things before sending me off to play with the thing!
I write journals entries, I write stories, sometimes graphic and disturbing, to vent. I normally don't even save them! I just need to find a way to get things out there and never have anybody know and I don't have that anymore!
I also have some very prsonal and private conversations with friends, actual friends (from back home or that I have met before), online and on Skype and such, and they can see those too!
I have had friends tell me dire secrets which they don't want a soul to know about! I have had people confess feelings... I have confessed feelings!
I. Feel. Violated.
I'm sorry for this whole long emotional rant thing and I know it is probably seeming very repetative and unimportant but... god! ********! I have no secrets anymore! I have no privacy anymore!
And it just makes it a whole lot worse that neithr my mother or my father, who GAVE me the computer, told me about this!
At this point I am not sure if I feel better or worse about the whole situation. But I know that I will probably never be able to trust my mother to trust me anymore...
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Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 9:19 pm
You are the apple...
Well, assuming that every little piece of that got sent to your mom's computer, then my idea of bringing the issue up to them is moot. Or, hell, do it anyways. it will show them you care about the situation and arent just like "oh hey, they know what im typing, maybe i should censor myself."
and I am your core.
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Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 10:02 pm
*Sigh* It's not a simplistic situation that can be divulged with words alone. My mother did the same thing to me as a kid and brought it up every time she felt like I was being over-emotional. I found out about it when I was 11 years old; I still don't trust her about it either, and I’m now 22. I trust her somewhat now, but in truth I don't trust her completely still.
I can only tell you what I’ve learned from it. See despite the fact that they had good intentions when they thought to set it up; they also forgot to hold a subtle amount of Tact about it. Being a watchful parent and trying to protect them is admirable, but if they can't learn to loosen up then they could drive their children to do the wrong things just because that child wishes to defy them. I'm not saying you are, and I’m sure you love your parents regardless of what they have done, but what I can suggest is letting them read this particular chat you have created.
When my mom did it to me she was overbearing, over controlling, and simply put she strained our relationship far more then it ever should have gone. People refuse to see the outcome of the actions they make and unjustly define it as the best thing to do because it's the best thing for 'Them', without taking in the account of what happens as a reaction to their actions. There has never been a more truthful saying said, "An action taking has an equal opposing reaction that can be as detrimental to the action taken."
If your parents read these posts I’ll say this to them. Sometimes being a good parent means showing faith in the way you have helped raise the next generation. The world is a very dangerous place; it is an evil one to be sure, but sometimes you should allow the pieces to lie where they fall. I truly wish you and your parent my best wishes.
Good Luck,
Soshiatae & Family
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 12:47 am
That sounds horrible...
but a well put rant smile I hope things work out for you
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 12:57 am
If my parents could read the things I wrote over the past 5 years xD
I would either be disowned or dead.
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 7:03 am
o.O theres a thing like that?!
anywho
i knoe parents raised their children and all
but it doesnt mean they have full control of what they think and decide
if the parent keeps on learning about the child's secrets then talks about that with them
how will a child learn to stand of on his/her own
why dont you talk to your parents
let them knoe that you appreciate their love and concern but removing your privacy and learning your secrets is bad and you dont want that
and you never want to defy them
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 3:53 pm
Thanks so much you guys for the input! It just makes me feel better to know that I am not the only one who has gne through this...
I don't think my mother has read my rant yet... or if she has, she hasn't said anything.
I'm beggining to think that half of the reason for my rant was for the perpose of my mother reaing it... but I don't now. Probably. Maybe.
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 5:28 pm
Lady Kira X If my parents could read the things I wrote over the past 5 years xD
I would either be disowned or dead.
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 8:22 pm
If it's a program, try to uninstall it.
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 8:40 pm
What I believe you are talking about is called a keylogger. (Keylogging..one of the two) It has different names to it but its all in the same. A while back my mom did the same when she found out my sister was dating someone online. Not that it lasted long but she became paranoid and thinking I would do the same. I love her because she cares, but it annoyed (and still does annoy) me that she would do that.
Anyway. Yea. I think that is what it is called, I wouldn't uninstall it unless you talk to them and they are adamant about it and you wont get grounded or anything for getting rid of it. They will most likely be able to notice. ^_^;
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 3:22 pm
That's quite upsetting. Since it's on the Internet where your mom tracks what you type, perhaps try turning off your internet modem (what connects your computer to the Webz) for about a minute, and then turning it back on? I read somewhere that that's how someone got rid of the delayed keystrokes--a sign of a tracking program--which got rid of the program. This hasn't happened to me before, though, so I'm not sure it'll work out for you.
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 9:51 pm
ravenkitty776 That's quite upsetting. Since it's on the Internet where your mom tracks what you type, perhaps try turning off your internet modem (what connects your computer to the Webz) for about a minute, and then turning it back on? I read somewhere that that's how someone got rid of the delayed keystrokes--a sign of a tracking program--which got rid of the program. This hasn't happened to me before, though, so I'm not sure it'll work out for you. I wish it was that simple. But it is not just the internet where they can see my typings, it is anywhere. Even ifit is just my desktop and I am just slamming down on the keyboard, i think they can see it, but I am not sure.
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 6:40 am
My parents did that with my pone and quickly regretted it i am lucky enough to be 19 but they did while i was 19 so i went hog wild on finding the most disgusting things to say look up or txt people needless to say they left my phone alone after that.
I think its bs that they have programs like that out there but on a seperate computer you should look up ways to virus prograns so that wen they look at the program that keeps sending them wat you type it could have multiple different things happen to it or to the computer they are using
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 2:43 pm
I can probably say that I'd be pretty livid if I found out that my mother had put a keylogger on my computer like that, so don't feel bad. Depending on how old you are, and whether or not you have a part-time job/steady income/etc., I would suggest getting your hands on another computer at some point, one that YOU bought. I've always been a big proponent of the ideal that a person who buys his or her own items have sole responsibility and sole say over what goes on surrounding it. Save up some money and acquire another computer, like a laptop, and use the other one (assuming it's a desktop) strictly for schoolwork. That way everything you do on YOUR private computer can't be logged by your parents.
Another thing I would do is consult some legal officials regarding the legality of using programs like keyloggers to spy on people, ESPECIALLY if you go ahead and buy another computer, because it seems to me those programs should be illegal full stop, just like wiretaps.
Another thing to keep in mind is age, as well. If you're under the age of 16 (which is the age a child is legally able to emancipate his/herself from his/her parents), then you're pretty much stuck doing whatever your parents tell you. However, after you turn 16, I'd imagine you have a few more rights regarding privacy and such.
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Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2011 5:12 pm
majorspiker101 My parents did that with my pone and quickly regretted it i am lucky enough to be 19 but they did while i was 19 so i went hog wild on finding the most disgusting things to say look up or txt people needless to say they left my phone alone after that. I think its bs that they have programs like that out there but on a seperate computer you should look up ways to virus prograns so that wen they look at the program that keeps sending them wat you type it could have multiple different things happen to it or to the computer they are using
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