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 Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2011 8:57 am
Private RP between Nisshou's Phala and Beejoux's Padmaraja. No posting please.  
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Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:13 am
Phala had finally gotten used to many things in the world outside of his basket. He had gotten used to the changing colors of the sky as the world moved from day to night and back again. He had gotten used to the changing temperatures the came with those times. He'd become accustomed to the sound of his own name. He'd even gotten used to speaking with his fangs and moving without accidentally stabbing himself with his spikes.
In the world there was still one thing that could still always make him want to retreat back into that dark place long abandoned. His mother. It didn't matter what he did to hide his...abnormalities she would always panic whenever he came around. It was something he still didn't understand. All he knew about it was it was wrong. He could feel it deep inside of him. There was a sort of bond that drew him to her and she kept hacking away at it like a half-crazed human with a hatchet.
It was because of this that he was slowly beginning to isolate himself from the rest of the herd. The others were nice to him and his siblings but his own mother treated him like something to be feared. It left him wondering if there was something inside him that would some day surface and prove to him and everyone else that Parnasabari was right to fear him.
He sighed staring out over the expanse of glistening white that seemed to have dropped over their home over night. He had been trying to bury himself in the frozen white hoping to hide whatever his mom was afraid of. So far all he had managed to do was make his legs cold. "Just my luck..." He muttered.
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Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:28 am
It was cold. His breath fogged around him, leaving a wispy and rapidly fading trail in his wake as he moved through the snow littered night. Following a trail of dainty prints that would lead him no doubt to his brother. Padma had woken, as he often did throughout the night to check on his dozing siblings, and one had been missing. His sister remained curled at his side, but Phala was no where to be seen. It wasn't unexpected, but it was still worrying to the dark colt. It was happening more and more, and Padma was beginning to see a pattern. Always on nights following an encounter with their mother.
Mother.. A gentle snort broke the heavy silence around the colt. Something was off, not right. The other members of the heard, their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. From them they received love, attention, care. From their mother they received fear, abandon. He didn't understand why, but really, the why was unimportant at this point. The dark little colt know there should be love between mother and children, knew it, but never felt it.
It was why he'd taken up training with Scythe, why he seldom let the other two out of his sight. If their mother would not love them, care for them, then he would. He would keep them happy and safe, and he would be the parent they needed.
"Phala." He could see the pale outline of his brother's frame against the whiter backdrop of snow surrounding him. The cool pink of his nose touched that white hip as he approached, followed by the warmth of his cheek as it slide along the other colt's shoulder. "It's cold, why are you out here all alone?"
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Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2011 9:59 am
The white colt's ears pivoted at the sound of crunching snow approaching him. It didn't take more than a second for his vibrant green eyes to move in the same direction that the sound came from. His brother was coming. In a field of white his brother's dark pink coat stuck out like a single cloud in an empty sky.
"Raja." He responded returning his gaze to his front. He could feel his brother's touch but barely responded other than to smile. He was always greeting him in such was that made him actually feel welcome and wanted. Even on the days when Phala didn't want anyone near him. Really his brother was like a stubborn wolf mother. Always tracking his siblings down whenever one strayed to far from the others. Mostly the one who did the straying was Phala. It was amusing in an odd sort of way that even when all he wanted was to disappear Raja would suddenly show up.
"I was just...thinking." There was a sort of distance in the foal's voice. Altogether it was a familiar tone even if it was one that had no place coming out of a foal's mouth. "About some stuff...you know?" He turned his head to look at his dark brother.
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Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2011 10:54 am
The shadow of a smile crept along the dark colt's lips at the reaction he'd managed to pull from his paler sibling. If he could make them smile, feel wanted, he was doing a good job. Perhaps in his youth he couldn't do all that a real parent could, but he would do his best, always. Besides, he was learning. Scythe and Haya were good teachers. Tough, but patient and caring. He would learn, in time, and be everything to his brother and sister that their mother would or could not be.
At Phala's answer the ebony and rose colt nodded. "Ahh." Coming to a stop at the other foal's side, Raja turned gold eyes towards to his side, giving Phala a quick once over. No new nicks or cuts, that was good. "The usual sort of things?" Their.. differences, their mother. Things that plagued both their minds, and probably their sister, though the young filly seemed the most normal of them all, physically at least. Though even free from any odd additions, the filly didn't receive anymore love from their mother then Padma or his brother.
It made him wonder what it was about them that made the mare fear them so. He was tempted to ask, but knew he wouldn't like the answer, so he had held his tongue, to this point at least. Who knows if he would ever ask.
"You shouldn't dwell," his voice was soft and soothing, and his chin was warm where it came to rest on the other colt's neck. "We are loved, Phala. You are loved." By Padmaraja, by Shrivatsa, by their grandparents, aunts and uncles. The entire herd. It was this that the darker colt focused on, and did his best not to linger on thoughts of their mother.
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Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:24 am
He nodded his head slowly. It was always the same things with him. He should have expected that Raja would have picked up on the pattern by now. He was pretty perceptive after all. Perhaps it came from hanging around the herd leaders so much? Phala would never know, he didn't much want to join his brother in whatever he was learning from them.
"It's not...the same." He mumbled trying to piece his thoughts together. He understood that his brother was trying to help but there were too many thoughts in his head. He also understood that he likely wasn't making any sense. What wasn't the same? For better or for worse this was how things had always been for them. Yet every time he looked around at the other families there was a glaringly obvious and painful reminder of how things were supposed to be.
Phala was not like his brother. He couldn't seem to bring himself to focus on the little lights in their world that could make everything better. Instead he always managed to see the shadows. It was ironic in a way. The black one found the white world and the white one found the black world.
"I have you and Shri and in some ways the others. But...we..." He frowned resisting the urge to bite into his lip. "We're as good as orphans..." He wasn't dumb, he had noticed that they had no father as much as everyone else had. They didn't really have a mother either. Just a kindly grandmother and aunts. He sighed. "You should go back to Shri, she'll wonder where you went to..." He murmured not wanting to drag his brother down with him.
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Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:39 am
Once upon a time, Padma had asked the paler colt to join him in his lessons. Phala had refused, and Padma hadn't pressed the issue since. From time to time he wondered if perhaps his brighter outlook on life came from having such close interactions with others that obviously cared for him. Or perhaps he was just naturally more.. not optimistic exactly, but open to the good in things? He wasn't sure, and that difference between them, and he burden it laid upon his brother, bothered him greatly.
"No, it's not the same." He understood. "Mothers and fathers love their children, that is how it's supposed to be, but that is not how it is for us." It was painful, it was unchangeable, it was true. They didn't even know their father. "But.." he added, moving his head from his brother's neck so he could look at the others face. "We're not alone. It's not perfect, but it's not all bleak." His nose found Phala's cheek, pressed softly before he turned back to gaze over the blanket of snow his brother seemed so interested in.
At the back of his mind he added another question to the list of things to ask their mother when he'd mustered up the courage. Who was their father?
"She'll sleep on, as she always does." He assumed she slept through their periodic absences, for she had never mentioned them. Of the two of them, Phala needed he more right now, and there was no dissuading him. "I'm staying with you, and when you're ready, we'll go back together." He smiled, a reassuring flicker. He'd be there for his brother, whatever that meant.
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 7:59 am
For a moment he met his brothers golden cat-slit eyes. It was one of the things he assumed were passed down from their mystery father. The golden eyes, the fangs, the spikes, their sister's fluffy ears, all seemed to be things that came from him. Their father must have been a real monster to have all of those things but they weren't him so it still made no sense.
Having nothing to really say to his brother's stubborn tendencies, as well intended as they were, Phala remained silent. In a way things weren't as bad as his mind liked to pretend they were. He hadn't been completely consumed by shadow after all. There was one very persistent little light that kept insisting on dragging him back.
Heaving a sigh he shook himself off and tromped over to shove at his brother's haunches. "You're such a pest." He declared before turning around to follow his trail back 'home.' "Just for once I wish you'd not follow me." He wasn't serious, not completely. So long as his brother kept going to find him he knew he had a place somewhere at least. Even if it was not the somewhere he wished for.
"C'mon...we can't just leave Shri. Just because she doesn't say anything doesn't mean she doesn't notice." He wondered if she actually did notice though. He imagined they'd find out eventually.
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Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 9:35 am
The dark colt held his brother's gaze for as long as it lingered on him, the corners of his lips twitching up into the shadow of a reassuring smile. It wasn't really a conscious thing on his part, but more an automatic reaction. Though as his brother shook himself then proceeded to give him a shove the smile grew, and he returned the favor with butt of his forehead to the other colt's shoulder.
"Am I?" He grinned, falling into step at his brother's side. "I will always follow you Phala. You're my brother, and I love you." Even if the other ever truly wished to be alone, he couldn't let it be. Wouldn't let it be. His siblings were his family, and he refused to loose them.
"You may be right, though she is a pretty sound sleeper. Or pretends to be." He pursed his lips thoughtfully. Did Shri ever notice when they were missing? Did she worry? Perhaps he should ask her. "Either way, it's cold, and late." Nothing sounded better in that moment then curling up with his siblings for warmth and sleeping. His training was, while not exhausting, very strenuous, and the young colt was certainly feeling the effects. His muscled ached.
Their hoof prints in the snow stood out like tiny pricks of darkness in a sea of white. Carefully, Padma attempted to retrace his steppes. Stepping only prints that were already there. Leaving behind nothing that wasn't already there.
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 8:49 am
"Definitely." Was his response. "And with that thinking Shri should also be here because she is our sister that loves us." Or at least he was almost positive that she did. Perhaps she didn't have the close bond of brotherhood but she was still their sibling.
He paused as he thought over their sister for a bit. "Do...you really think she'd pretend to be asleep?" He asked stepping out of his trail to move closer to Raja. He wasn't terribly concerned about leaving things as they were if his sloppy wavering trail was any indication. He'd never considered that their sister might purposefully pretend to not notice them leaving. He just assumed that, like him, she'd wake up upon growing too cold.
"I don't think she'd do that." Or rather, he hoped she didn't do that. Something about the word 'pretend' had such a wicked connotation to it. He didn't want to think that their sister was wicked. She was one of the two creatures in the world that he actually liked that liked him back. Quite frankly it would suck if he suddenly felt like he lost one of them. "If she notices...it would just be because she woke up to us missing...wouldn't it?"
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:10 am
The darker colt nodded, smiling. "Yes, she loves us." He carefully placed another small hoof within an existing print. Not that he really cared, but he was young, and it seemed to amuse him. As his brother moved closer though, their sides touching briefly, he looked up.
"If she does, I believe it would be because she doesn't want to intrude, or trusts I'll bring you back?" He frowned thoughtfully, turning gold eyes up to the dark sky. It had begun to snow again, lazy, fat flakes were falling all around and on them. "It has nothing to do with not caring though, that I'm sure of."
In the past she had asked Padma if their brother was alright when he accidentally hurt himself, or seemed sad. The ebony colt couldn't imagine she didn't care if she showed concern on so many other occasions. "I don't think she wakes up, but if she did that would be why. The cold." The bridge of his nose creased in distaste. "Do you think it'll ever get warmer?" The snow was pretty, but he didn't like the cold.
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Posted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:30 am
He listened carefully to his brothers words like hes life depended on it. In some small way it did even if it was most assuredly not in a physical way. "I guess so..." He mused finally moving back away to walk in his own messy path. It wasn't hard to tell that it was his, there were drifts and clumps of snow scattered on all sides of his prints. He glanced at his brothers immaculate trail. What was it like to actually pay attention to where you put your feet?
He sneezed as a flake landed and then dissolved over his blue tinted nose. He turned his gaze up to the sky to watch the snows progression as he walked and was greeted by another flake to the eyeball. "Ack!" He stopped suddenly, squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head as though it would make the sensation go away. An eyeball was not meant to be cold. That was why tears were hot. When the feeling finally went away he snorted, opened his eyes and resumed walking.
"I don't know..." Phala shrugged. "It seems to keep getting colder every day...not warmer." Perhaps they had been born into a world that was doomed to freeze. He'd noticed that on occasion it did grow warmer for one or two days. Shortly after those days, however, they would be greeted by dark clouds and more snow. "Maybe this is just how it's gonna be?" He wasn't sure he liked the idea of living in never ending cold.
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 8:14 pm
The paler colt would feel the bump of his brother's nose upon his hip as he moved away once again to retrace his own messy path. Padma falling behind a pace or two as he regarded the other before a tiny burst of speed brought them even again. "Don't guess, know. Shri loves us both with all her heart." His tone, the words themselves, left no room to argue. This was something he believed in with his entire being.
The thought brought a content smile to the dark colts features, one that he'd turn up towards his brother before the sudden startled sound made him blink, then chuckle. "Careful, it's cold." An absolute understatement. He was teasing, of course.
With a snort of his own Padma moved closer to his brother's side, lipping the other young male's mane. "It has been getting cold," he agreed. "I sincerely hope this isn't how the world remains." He frowned, then smiled again, lowering his head to bump Phala's shoulder with the blunt tip of one bright horn. "I bet there's brighter weather just around the bend, you'll see." He hoped he was right.
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Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 7:49 am
Phala often found himself wondering about his brother and now he found himself doing it again. He couldn't help it. He had a difficult time imagining what it would be like to be so certain over everything. He was also a bit curious what it would be like to be such an optimist. Odds were that it was something he would never actually experience first hand.
He jerked away from his brother's nudging with his entire front half and ended up planting his front hooves into a snowdrift to the side. Instead of coming back with some retort about the weather being unlikely to change just because they turned a corner he stared down at his feet in the snow. He blinked a few times before laughing. It was quiet at first but it grew slowly. There was no reason for laughter but somehow thinking that just made Phala laugh harder.
It was entirely ridiculous and the confusion it caused showed up clearly on the white colt's face. What was wrong with him? Laughing over nothing. Was he really that messed up?
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2011 10:57 am
Phala's sudden jerk startled the darker colt, and for a moment he thought that perhaps his horns weren't half so blunt as he had thought, and he'd actually hurt his brother. "Phala!" He rushed over quickly to inspect the other's pale shoulder, but found no blood, and couldn't help the puzzled frown that twitched at his lips. "Are you ok?"
If the bubbling laughter was any indication, he had to guess his brother was indeed ok, though he wasn't sure what so so funny. A shared thought, apparently, as the pale male turned puzzled eyes up to him. For a breif moment Padma didn't know what to do, but then the laughter infected him as well, and he was soon giggling right along with the other colt.
The laughter eventually slowed, and Padma moved to nuzzle his cheek along his brother's shoulder. "I guess we needed the laugh, huh?" He grinned, then gave one of the buried legs a small nudge. "You're going to start shivering if you don't free yourself of that snow."
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