Welcome to Gaia! ::

The decision to terminate a pregnancy is never easy, and can often give rise to mixed emotions. So how do you deal with it?


Coping with your emotions
While some women might feel relieved after terminating a pregnancy, it's also very common to feel sad, guilty, even confused, especially if you felt that at another time a baby would have been right for you. Depression and grief can also figure, and may be quite intense as your hormone levels drop back after the abortion. Try not to punish yourself, or worry that you have to go through any of this alone. Remember that they are your emotions and whatever you are feeling is fine.

Before the termination happened, you will have talked to two doctors about what to do for the best. You may have also discussed it with the father of the baby, members of your family, or family planning counsellor. All this talking would have helped you come to the decision that an abortion was in your best interest, but no matter how often - or how hard - you thought about the situation, no one can predict how you'll feel afterwards.


Keep communicating
For many women who have been through the experience, the key is to keep on talking to all those people who've helped you this far. Don't be embarrassed that you're turning to them again, or worry they'll think you've made the wrong decision because you feel this way. They'll want to help. However, you may feel happier talking to someone outside the situation. If you want to talk in confidence to a post-abortion counsellor, call Brook Advisory Centres on 0800 0185023. They can be of help at any stage, no matter how long ago you had the abortion.


Take time
Some women take longer than others to get over terminating a pregnancy, whether it's two months, two years or longer. Everyone copes with their emotions in different ways. Some talk, others work it through on their own, but no matter how you feel, you have to face up to it, make sense of it, and deal it with it in a way that feels right to you.

Unplanned pregnancy is something nobody chooses to happen, so it's always wise to avoid risks and take precautions.

I would also like to point out that http://imnotsorry.net has many stories that talk about abortion experiences that are positive and not traumatic at all.

In fact, I've actually heard that miscarriages tend to be the most traumatizing of all, because most of the time, a miscarriage occurs during a wanted pregnancy. (my mom went through one of these, and was very upset for a long time because she was late in her second trimester when she miscarried).

Most of the time, it depends on how a woman views her pregnancy.

Many young people who decide to keep their pregnancies think of the fetus as a "baby" even though it is only the size of their pinky finger.

Making the fetus into a personified being often creates emotional attachments WAY before birth.

But there are many times when this does not occur, and so therefore, many women who choose abortion of their own volition (ie: not forced by a partner or parents or anyone else), will not feel trauma because of it.