I have always been in the church, going early to help my parents open up on Sunday morning. Like most kids, I had the faith of a child, never questioning, but also, never looking. I just took what people told me, believing the cleaned up versions of the Bible "heros". I learned the songs, I said the little boring prayers, just going through the motions. Later in life, I still believed, but I didn't really think much about it. That is, until high school. People began asking questions I didn't know the answers to, and it disterbed me. I began listening to more Christian music, listening to the words more then the melody. I began reading the Bible a bit, learning the truth behind these "heroes". I only recently began trying to pray three times a day. But then I began to See Him and Feel Him all around me. It was incredible. It IS incredible. There is nothing anyone can say or do now to sway me. How can anyone deny him after feeling His power first hand? It just boggled the mind.
One of the first times I really heard of God working first hand with someone was about five years ago. I was having a slumber party with a few friends and my brother David had decided to sneak out. I thought nothing of it, but at some point in the night, somthing woke my mom up. She went to make sure my brother Steve was home, but found David gone. She went straight out to the car and pulled out of the ally. As she was about to turn left, something told her to go right. Then, as she was going to go right again, something told her to go left this time. Only a few blocks away, she found David surrounded by "friends" watching him vomit after sniffing anti-freeze. They wern't going to do anything, but my mom pulled him into the car and straight to the hospital. She says if she turned the directer she wanted, he would have died.
I once even had a dream that frightened me involving not being able to get a hold of a friend to get to the gate of heaven and when I talked to her, I found her life was in shambles. I've been trying ever since to help her, but she's so hard-hearted (and hard headed).
One day while praying in church, I felt at if God was pouring His life inside me, into my heart. There was so much that the cup inside my soul quickly over flowed. Once it began to pour over the top, I could help myself. I broke down then and there. My friends asked me what was wrong, why I was crying, but nothing was wrong. I was the exact opposite. God has more love for me then I can even comprehend. More then I can love anyone else. More then I can love Him. And He has this love for everyone, more then we even deserve. Just thinking about it makes my eyes water with such joy and grief. Joy that He loves me. And grief that I am nothing close to being worthy, even on my best day.
Edit: I remember another part of the Christian life most people don't understand. The attacks from the Devil. He may not attack us himself, but it's still very painful. As a child, we moved all the time due to pastor work. One place we moved to was called Taos, New Mexico. Never go there! The place used to be an old Indian village, and there still is a puablo there. But our family has never had so many attacks while there. That was where my brother Steve lost his faith. My brother Chris was run over by a car (Yet had no broken bones, thank God), Chris' friends who came to visit broke his arm, my brother David got sick often, my mom sprained her ankle, our church kicked us out when we wanted to expand, I was bitten by two different dogs within a six month period, I always felt like I was being watched, our cat was killed, had a violent pack dog that scarred us up, David's friend had almost every bone in his body broken, and my mom, for some reason, became suicidal. I even believe this demon has followed us, because I sometimes feel it pressing on me. But I am so glad we got out of there.
One of the first times I really heard of God working first hand with someone was about five years ago. I was having a slumber party with a few friends and my brother David had decided to sneak out. I thought nothing of it, but at some point in the night, somthing woke my mom up. She went to make sure my brother Steve was home, but found David gone. She went straight out to the car and pulled out of the ally. As she was about to turn left, something told her to go right. Then, as she was going to go right again, something told her to go left this time. Only a few blocks away, she found David surrounded by "friends" watching him vomit after sniffing anti-freeze. They wern't going to do anything, but my mom pulled him into the car and straight to the hospital. She says if she turned the directer she wanted, he would have died.
I once even had a dream that frightened me involving not being able to get a hold of a friend to get to the gate of heaven and when I talked to her, I found her life was in shambles. I've been trying ever since to help her, but she's so hard-hearted (and hard headed).
One day while praying in church, I felt at if God was pouring His life inside me, into my heart. There was so much that the cup inside my soul quickly over flowed. Once it began to pour over the top, I could help myself. I broke down then and there. My friends asked me what was wrong, why I was crying, but nothing was wrong. I was the exact opposite. God has more love for me then I can even comprehend. More then I can love anyone else. More then I can love Him. And He has this love for everyone, more then we even deserve. Just thinking about it makes my eyes water with such joy and grief. Joy that He loves me. And grief that I am nothing close to being worthy, even on my best day.
Edit: I remember another part of the Christian life most people don't understand. The attacks from the Devil. He may not attack us himself, but it's still very painful. As a child, we moved all the time due to pastor work. One place we moved to was called Taos, New Mexico. Never go there! The place used to be an old Indian village, and there still is a puablo there. But our family has never had so many attacks while there. That was where my brother Steve lost his faith. My brother Chris was run over by a car (Yet had no broken bones, thank God), Chris' friends who came to visit broke his arm, my brother David got sick often, my mom sprained her ankle, our church kicked us out when we wanted to expand, I was bitten by two different dogs within a six month period, I always felt like I was being watched, our cat was killed, had a violent pack dog that scarred us up, David's friend had almost every bone in his body broken, and my mom, for some reason, became suicidal. I even believe this demon has followed us, because I sometimes feel it pressing on me. But I am so glad we got out of there.
